5631

Twas the night before the night before Xmas! We've probably already been through the solstice and the longest night of the year. From now until June, the nights grow shorter, the days longer. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Was still cool today, but things are warming a bit. Made for a chilly walk in some sunlight. I spent the day hunkered inside and I chose not to brave the crowded stores.

Continue to ponder what I will be doing in the coming year--what I can do and need to do to fully recover. There are 1,000,000 people dealing with this illness (in the USA alone) and each person's challenges and related issues are nearly unique, very individualized. Makes it difficult to come up with a robust plan based on what I read. Have to experiment and see what works or not. Qigong in the morning seems to work. Life force exercises in the afternoon also seem to work. Midday rests/naps seem to be required. Anxiety creeps up each day in the early afternoon. Food seems to help moderate symptoms (right kind of food).

The clear news is that I'll have to adjust my lifestyle in order to deal with the symptoms and issues that arise (and that continue to manifest). Starting to evaluate what adjustments I need to make (try out, experiment with). Doing so is going to require some measure of attention and scrutiny, as well as some effort. Also, it will require being more structured and organized.

I've had the luxury, over the past year (plus), of being able to go with the flow. Now, the flow is going to become more challenging, and I'm going to have to respond. But all this mumble is very conceptual--I need to make it more concrete. For example, today I cleaned the kitchen floors. That's something that needs doing on a regular basis as opposed to it being the first time I've done it since I moved in here. (They really needed a clean up!)

I guess it's a matter of getting back into reality-mode versus illusion-mode. Illusion-mode has been my primary way of operating. Unfortunately, I can no longer rely on illusions to help me recover--it's going to be much more concrete.

Ordering some more books from Amazon and waiting for others to arrive. Lots to learn and even more to do. May I find a way!