1985

Daze of whine and poses--feeling like it's all fuzz and buzz. Can't seem to find a groove where I'm not feeling funky--and can't seem to get into a mode that doesn't have this funk around it.

Moved the PD drug prescription from Walgreens to Raley's--don't think it will change anything but will helps set up a mail order option that might be cheaper. I'll have to go through all of this when the fall changeover comes about--in the meanwhile, I wrestle with the uncertainties and ennui.

And with the medical miasmas--that surround everything I've done, do, and will do. Future becomes past--and now becomes empty. All is strange and imbalanced--like I tripped this morning getting out of the car and almost went down. Caught myself--and caromed off the car parked next to me so that I came up standing. I was surprised that I did what I did--both the tripping and the save.

Windy and cool today--actually very bracing and activating. No mail came yesterday--the postman must have decided to go skiing or snowboarding. Would do the same if I could--but I'm caught in my own web and am flailing to get free.

Haven't heard from my daughter--about how she's doing after last night's events. Just saw her--and she's still not well. I feel like there's nothing I can do--hopeless and helpless is how I feel. Out of sync with the cosmos--rattling through the universe and spinning off into the void. Has to be something I can shift--something I can change that will pull me free.