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It's later in the evening on Tuesday. I felt like writing some before heading for bed. Will post in the morrow, but just feel like writing some tonight.
My energy is flowing nicely, at last. Went to dance class (almost wussed out, but did so anyway since I knew it would make me feel better). Thought I was a bit low on energy for the class, but not so. We learned 3 new dances, plus reviewed a couple of others (Bicycle Waltz, e.g.). Class was filled.
Strange little Asian man came in, sat through some of the lessons and dances. He just looked and acted weird. He looked like he was going to lift someone's bag or pocketbook. When I left, he was wandering about outside. I hate to make snap judgments about anyone, but there was definitely something off about him and his actions. Will look for him next week and maybe try and speak with him. Possibly, he's just an exchange student and is taking in the local scenes and activities. I'll think positive thoughts.
L had an episode of BPV (Benign Positional Vertigo). She went to the clinic and they gave her some anti-nausea pills and a procedure to do that should get her inner ear back in balance. Came upon her out of the blue. She's resting (not dancing) and waiting for it to subside.
Spoke with B tonight. Told him about the USPL (Kooser). They did have the same procedure, same events. He prompted me to send an email to the team and ask "whazzup?". We've been a long time not meeting. Time for a summit.
I'm feeling a lot better now that I've pulled my GI tract together and rebooted it. So far, I seem to be able to eat just about anything, although I'm not slurping up a lot of animal protein. Have pulled off of daily sweets, pastries, chai, coffee and sugars. Drinking/eating fruits. Take a medicinal does of prune juice just to be sure. Starting to feel human again.
So until the morrow when I'll return with the next non-significant blither, many dreams to all and to all a good nacht.
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Had many dreams that I immediately forgot when I awoke. I jumped out of bed (it was cool last night) and the room temp and need to hit the john made the dreams fade away. Back into the great subconscious -- or not so great , as the case may be.
B pointed me to a Kooser poem that captured some of the tensions of my GI tract condition--the one with the lightning bug image. He talks about straining on the toilet and knowing what a lightning bug must feel like. Hmmmm! Poets!
Sent an email to call the team together next week. We need to decide if we're continuing or not. I suggested that we meet via blog. Would make sense since we're so scattered.
Got an email from B that indicates he's moving to Oregon in June. L's refi'ed her house. Things are becoming more fluid, more uncertain. I have to decide what I'm going to do as well. And soon.
I've got several new physical symptoms manifesting for me to obsess over. Right hand fingers are really tingly for no particular reason. Also have a breakout on my chin of folliclitis--my usual tension-based thermometer. When I get stressed, I break out--especially if I get in the sun, etc.
Will my days be all about such drivel, such trivial stuff? B is juiced as he plans to move to OR. He's already mined his network there and scoped out some things for him to do, etc. He's invited me to help maintain an index that he keeps up too date. I'll have to look it over and decide what I wish to do, if anything.
It's been windy the past few hours as if a storm is coming or passing. Right now, it's quiet and still. Like the calm before.
I am so frustrated. I feel like I'm standing between two panels that keep squeezing closer, cutting off my movements, my options. Of course, that's not really true, but it feels so.
And, also of course, I continue to wrestle with myself over money and what to do in that domain. Should I try and get some work? I can't seem to motivate myself in this arena either.
Dangling pieces, scattered elements, shards and fragments. A confusion of delays, debates, and delinquent intentions. Parboiled concepts that will have no way to become realities. Makeshift masterpieces. The roar of a distant sea.
I come to a breaking point, a breakthrough point, a realm of possibilities. I reach into the pool and draw forth the sword; I make ready for the battle. I speak as if there is only a single foe. It is so and it is the shadow, the smoky image of a well-known face.
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