Wednesday, August 03, 2005

6136

Last night's dreams faded away as I awoke. They had something to do with JON and a project that involved decorating a whole building or town for some event. There was one scene where JON jumped into a stretch limo and zoomed away from a gathering. I think we were being hired to do the decorations, with JON being the artistic designer. There was some kind of mixup or disagreement that sent JON zooming off. I was left to try and patch up things.

Read the pages last night that GH had given me yesterday. They were taken from a David Hawkins book (not in the library) called the Eye of the I. The pages were about the mind and to go about letting go of it, thoughts, and everything that keeps the self locked into a position or point of view--and therefore in illusion, pain, disease, etc.

It's a dense read and I'll have to read it again and again. But GH was correct. The material is right on with what I'm dealing with in terms of my own mind (mindlessness, mindfulness, no mind, false mind, and so on). The material speaks to me and is coherent with what I've been experiencing during the past year.

The shock of seeing that I still had thoughts about which I had no knowledge of, shocked my system, my circuits, so intensely that I went off kilter--crashed. My disbelief was so intense that it altered my ways of being--for the worse because I believed the worse. I took the thoughts as not only real and true, but as being me. I became my thoughts and all hell broke loose.

So today, I went to a mindfulness session. Not to strengthen my mind, but to help me with my observations of mind and what is seems to be about. Thoughts won't stop, but I don't have to treat them as truth.

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