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I've been power-reading my way through Wayne Dyer's latest book, Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling. Lots of good thoughts and ideas in it on the topic of living an inspired life--living in-Spirit. I'm learning a lot about myself as I read each chapter--about what it takes to live from a place of being in touch with joy, peace, love and well-being. The last item is especially relevant for me--recapture my sense of well-being... It's on its way...and hopefully even more of it than I had before...

Awoke feeling energetic. Did morning rituals and rested. Made an excursion to the post office and store, but never generated enough energy to get out again. Slept, rested, read and ate. Wasn't that hungry, but ate anyway--have to keep stoking the engine.

After reading one part of the Dyer book, I tried to recall my big moments of bliss and joy. Many of them also involved a lot of tension and worry. I discovered that I've only had a few "uncontaminated" moments of pure bliss. Like some times with my daughter. Like a time I was walking by myself in the woods. I had quite a few others that were always intertwined with tension, fear, upset, worry, and so forth.

It's like the tension I'm feeling now with this illness was always there in all that I did. It was there like a shadow next to me, covering me as I did things. So what I did, what I accomplished, was always "contaminated" no matter the result. The associated joy and bliss was never fully acknowledged or experienced.

Gives me much to ponder...much to look at and to reexamine!