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Fell asleep late last night--around 1am or so! Awoke around 5am and then again about 7am then again around 10am. Had lunch and ran some errands and napped in the early afternoon. When I awoke, I went to SB's for a green tea latte and that has kept me awake.

Tomorrow is dance class time in the afternoon. I will be rested and ready to go when that time comes around. I think I dreamed last night a mixed up story that had elements of the Nikita episodes I watched last night and some reverb from a previous dream about being in an old apartment building. It's not clear now what it was all about--just a collection of blurred and mixed-up images.

I picked up the emetic that I'll use to prep for the colon procedure scheduled for March. The kit costs $150--of which insurance only pays about $50. The kit is considered a tier 4 medication so I get most of the expense. An expense for something that is only going to be in my body for a very limited amount of time. Expensive cocktail!

Every now and then, I get a sensation of only being in this reality very tenuously. I feel like I've been picked up and transplanted here on a temporary basis--that I'm a visitor and not an inhabitant. I feel tentative and impermanent--as if I'll be asked (or made) to move on to some other place. While I'm driving about the area, I keep feeling as if the other drivers are actual residents and not just avatars. Me, I'm here as my avatar--playing in a world that is not mine and in which I am not real. People here seem open and friendly--but I still feel some distance between me and everyone. Partly, it's the illness. I came here with it as my only reality--a reality that doesn't mesh with the many others here. Odd thoughts and imaginings! The winter of my discontent!