1850-1849

Skipped dancing yesterday--rested and tried to chill hoping to be ready to go to RSB class this morning. I slept erratically--but I made it to RSB today and the dance activity up in Rescue.

The RSB felt good--it helped clear some of the static that I was experiencing. I'm still a bit rocky--from yesterday's episode of collapsing when I got really dizzy. I keep feeling as if I'm out of kilter as I move about--I keep feeling like I could easily fall again but with more consequences. I didn't seem to hurt myself when I feel--but I could do some damage very easily.

I'm frustrated that I was doing so well last week--and then everything went to crap. It brought home how vulnerable I am to something happening--something that shifts my circumstances and resources in ways that would not be fun.

It makes me question if what I am doing (dancing, boxing, getting bodywork, and so on)--is making a real difference in my case of the illness and how it is manifesting. Should I be doing something totally different?--I seem to be on a collision course with reality and it might happen sooner rather than later.

Nothing scheduled for tomorrow--rest day in preparation for Monday's RSB session and the coming week of maintaining and monitoring status and trying to sort through the numbing components of what I can do.

Daughter and son-in-law are at a cousin's wedding--the grandson is being kept overnight by his grandmother and the granddaughter is with her father in San Francisco. So it is very quiet here--just me and MD. I am in charge making sure the dog has several outside visits--so he doesn't leave any small collections in the house.

I've been drinking a lot more water--so that means I have to take a leak more often. So far, it has not been a problem--other than the frequency required when I'm supposed to be sleeping. In any case, I should sleep well tonight--or not.