1742-1741

Went to PD support group meeting yesterday--fairly big turnout with several new people. The two hours were numbing though--as we make the circuit around the table each person says what is happening with them and their PD. The new people have new stories--the regulars have their updates. But the process is numbing--and I come away feeling heavy, dark, and down.

I went to the RSB session today--and came away feeling better (tired and hungry though). I didn't take a nap--I picked up a latte of the way home and had a later lunch . Now it's almost 4pm--and the afternoon went by slowly but also quickly.

A plumber materialized--and he did a check over of the work that was done over the weekend. BH had him put together estimates for installing a new toilet--to replace the one that keeps clogging.

I don't have anything scheduled for tomorrow--I'm awaiting some contact with the imaging group regarding the PET scan and spinal fluid that needs analysis.

I went through my monthly bills and such--got them posted. That activity took a fair amount of time--especially since my brain/math function seems to be cloudy and erratic. I have to triple check my efforts--since I seem to make errors that I don't see until I review (and review again) what I do.

I feel like I'm on auto-pilot--keep expecting to encounter something that breaks me loose from the rigging that seems to be around me. But the auto-pilot is strong--and being fed by the massive amount of data I'm being asked to handle. The overflow of things that have built up--sends me into a paralytic shock mode. I can't break loose--and organize a plan that I can follow and execute.

One small plan I intend to put in place--I will do the BIG exercise everyday (hopefully 2x each day) to help anchor me as each day unfolds. I will continue RSB--and look at getting back to dancing next year. One small plan for me--one big plan for my psyche.