1745

Black Friday and the CC's are ringing--money is flowing and big plasma screens are on the move. My stay with the grandson last night went well--he slept almost the whole time. He awoke about 30 minutes before his parents returned--but just let me hold him (we watched some football).

It was about 9pm when they returned--so I watched some of the Longmire series. I'm finally up and about today--although I've been up, about, and back into the bed all day. It's now 3pm and I'm starting to feel awake--having a V8 Fusion to help things along.

I keep flip-flopping back and forth on the NHL news--some thoughts about what I can be/need to be doing and others about what is it that I can I do that will make a difference. I punted on getting up and going to an RSB session today--I made up an excuse or rationale that let me roll over and go back to sleep. I have another decision point coming tomorrow--and I'm feeling the ambivalence wrap itself around me and around my intentions.

Thoughts regarding the NHL and PD conditions emerge as I walk through the grocery store (or go anywhere)--I wonder if the person in front of me has two similar things that they are dealing with. Some probably have a lot more--and I can feel grateful that I'm only dealing with two. But from another angle I feel buried and overwhelmed with just my two--and I feel myself freeze up and not want to do what I have to do to even maintenance these conditions. For the past 12 years the maintenance of these conditions have become my life--I've tried to move beyond maintenance to healing and remission. PD with its inexorable pace and degenerative face--has occasionally yielded some ground. But now I have a companion illness (NHL)--which is similar to PD in terms of how it can progress, cause degeneration, and even terminate the game if my efforts follow its rules.

And the NHL maintenance will be more challenging--has already introduced a number of things that I've not had to deal with over the past 12 years. The list is long--and the night is short.