1756--1754

Didn't post for a couple of daze--that's what I've been in. Monday did an RSB session--and basically conked out until I went to Tuesday's session. I just got sleepy and logy after each class--so I slept as much as I could after getting back home.

Today, I spent most of the daze working on my medical directive--I had started it yesterday but managed to drop the file when I stopped to play with the grandson. So, today I went back to it--and got it fairly far along. I buzzed out after my afternoon nap--and have returned somewhat after a shower, shave, and a protein drink.

Am scheduled to see the doctor next week--next Tuesday. I'll get in four RSB classes before getting with him--and learning what this all means. Putting the medical directive together--leaves me with a mixed set of feelings. In some respects it is showing me how unplanned my life has been--and how little I can do about that now. In another way, it is reinforcing my key attitude--where I think it doesn't really matter if things were planned or not. When the dance is over--the dance is over. Some people remaining may still hear a bit of the music that I made--but for the zillion others it will be an event they don't have to deal with or understand.

So, will toss and turn through tonight (as I've been doing a lot of recently)--and head out for RSB in the morning (if I can manage to get moving at the right times). Leaving at 8:45 cuts everything a bit close--and I am likely to be late getting to the gym. Leaving at 8:30 makes more sense--and leaving at 8:15--makes even better sense. But every 15 minutes that I add to my departure time--makes me miss 15 minutes of stillness and possibly sleep. To leave at 8:15, I need to get up around 7:45 or so--certainly no later than 8:00.

Today, as events around the house unfolded--I felt myself getting angry and tense. MD is not doing well at all--she's having difficulty walking and has been loosing her balance and nearly falling. I feel she needs a lot more help doing everything--but being like she is (100 and counting) she won't ask for help. I wish I could help her more--but I'm thrown back on my own problems and health issues. Life goes on--or it doesn't.