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Ancient history dreams last night. Working with people from both NS and LF. I was in an office with a number of people who had worked on projects for NS and LF. There were some documents that I had helped create that people were looking over. It seemed that there was an application for some of the concepts that had been sketched out in earlier documents.

I recall being in the office quite late. I was waiting for everyone to clear out so I could finish clearing out my files and cleaning up my desktop. The dream went on for quite some time, but I don't remember a lot of details. Just that there were people from NS, from the distant long ago.

Spent some time this morning looking over my budget. Getting a handle on what I can afford to spend on a new rental and what it will take to keep things afloat. That is, how much I'll have to draw down on my savings in order to stay another year.

Concurrent thought: If I stay a year, why am I staying? What do I hope to accomplish? I immediately come up with the thought of writing a book--or at least filling a book-sized manuscript with literary writings. Other than that, it will be to continue to dance, rest, exercise, and get healthy, really healthy.

Seems like a plan. Will cost me about $700 a month to hang on here. Perhaps a bit less if I cut back on chiro work. Won't be extravagant living. But it is doable. Anything is doable, I guess.

B is moving to OR. That puts two B's in OR. And there is still the thought of TN. Reading Grisham's latest novel, more thoughts of returning home came up. TN and MS are home ground for me. Not sure I will be able to endure those places, people once again, but the call to come home is strong. Never thought it would be so.

Also, can use the year to make contact with my kids, grandkids. Have let that slip onto the sideburners for several months. I'm overdue and going back to TN or moving out of the area is not going to make that happen or make it easier to do. So, I have at least two reasons to remain.

And there is the relationship with L. A third reason to keep it local for awhile. Use the year to bring that relationship to some conclusion.

Yes, there are numerous reasons to stay. There are also reasons to leave. Economics being the major factor. But a year of treading water won't create a big hit in my bank account. More than that will certainly do so. And, I might find some kind of work. Preferably, working over the web in some way--writing columns for online magazines.

Some clarity today on the mental front while the clouds spin and stir outside and the sun appears and warms the air. L is out of the dance loop for a few weeks. I'll see if I can maintain with lessons if not all of the dances.

Daze without end. Title of a new reality series.

I've been reading (over the past 36 hours) Analog and Azimov periodicals. I'm really struck by the poorer quality of writing--good ideas, but really not that great writing skills. This dichotomy is really noticeable as I read more literary works. I want to write like Murakami, Divakaruni, Oates, Munro, etc. It is difficult for me to even read the SciFi materials. They don't grab me emotionally as do the other writers.

What does this insight mean? Probably nothing, but I really noticed the difference as I read the stories. Clever ideas, but not as engaging as good storytelling, characters, and literary narration.