6051

Elaborate dream sequence last night. We were divided up into teams of two, forming at least three and maybe as many as four teams. We were working together on a covert project that required us to operate as 2-person teams, restrict communications between teams, and be responsible for particular subtasks on the project. The dream was intricate, like a mystery novel's plot, where each team performed actions and did things according to an unfolding script. It was not clear if there was anyone directing things from an overall perspective. At times, I felt as if I was doing so, but now I recall that I didn't have complete knowledge of what was to take place in which sequence.

There was a scene where one of the teams, two Hispanic guys, were killed. Their death was the result of another team's actions--something that didn't turn out correctly when it was done. We had to adjust to the loss of that team and make up for their absence by taking on other aspects of the project.

When I awoke, I had the thought of how the dream was like a complete story, a novel, that was engaging and powerful.
*************************************
Been thinking a lot today about what's next--especially if I have PD. I didn't eat anything until nearly lunch time. The tremors and shaking were noticeable until I had lunch. Food did seem to quiet things down to some degree, but I'm now more sensitized to noticing when it happens or stops.

Unfortunately, I feel that the medication is going to work and confirm what I don't want to know or hear. I know that it's possible to sustain for a number of years by staying on the medication(s), but not exactly what I had in mind for my older years. Everything is for a purpose, I hope.

Craving sweets and some chai. Looking for comfort in foods and desserts. Want to stuff myself with things that momentarily make me forget what's in front of me. And, then again, this could be another false alarm. It is something since I'm shaking and feeling the tremoring, but there is the possibility it's something else and not PD--of course, it could be something even worse.

Round and round, I go. Where I stop, nobody knows. Time for chai and a piece of nut bread or such. Time to forget, for a moment, what the future may hold, may have in mind.

Dance tonight. Spooks and goblins. No costume needed. I'll come as myself.