5846

Long lost weekend, so far! Spent yesterday sleeping and reading. Rains started and today has been more of the same. Feeling like I need to be doing something, but don't know what that might be or how to get started. Keep surrendering with no concrete results.

Meeting with MSR in a short while. Will be good to see her and hear her wisdom. But, I'm wrestling with the devil and I feel like he's winning. I continue to be bummed out by my situation (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual). I continue to fall back into the darkness of my own thoughts. I can't seem to extricate myself from the shadows.

Had a very detailed dream last night. I was asked to work with a friend of mine on a proposal for some educational materials. We pulled the proposal together and needed the contact information of several people to send them review copies. I worked with some of the administrative team and they produced the contact data. While all of this was going on, there were two women in a nearby office. They had tickets to some kind of gala event that evening and were looking for two men to accompany them. All the time we were working on the proposal, they kept asking people if they knew of two available men. They asked about me and my friend, but we were too busy to respond.

Once the proposal was sent out, the two women returned and asked again if we were available. I thought it over and realized that neither of us had the proper clothes for the event. I told the women this, which was true based on how we were already dressed (very casual), and they left to go find someone to accompany them.

I realized at about this point in the dream the fact that I did not have symptoms in the dream state. I thought of this as I was thinking about the dream. It was a thought I had had about some previous dreams, but the first time I'd had the thoughts while dreaming. I just noted that fact and then checked my physical self--which did have symptoms.

As I awoke, the symptoms became more noticeable, in reality. But in the dream state, there were still no symptoms--and should not be any since the symptoms abate when I'm asleep.

Not sure where all this is headed, but it's a curious piece of information. About time to go meet with MSR. Started reading The Secret Society of Demolition Writers. It's a collection of several stories written by well-known writers, but with no attribution to them--they in effect are anonymous with regard to who wrote which story. Interesting concept! Idea was to give the writer the opportunity to write whatever he/she wanted to write, without consideration as to the readers knowing who wrote what.

A deluge is taking place outdoors right now. Hope MSR has pontoons on her vehicle!
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MSR made it through the torrential downpour. Was great to see her again after all of these years. She was filled with her characteristic joy and energy. We talked about a lot of things--illness, death, kids, past adventures, current projects, futures, and much more. She acknowledged my recent reality boink and what it possibly involves--the universe sending me a wakeup signal. She spoke of FEAR being an acronym for something I can't seem to recall--False Energy About Reality (perhaps). False Evidence Appearing Real seems to be the Google-consensus form, but her's was slightly different. I've asked her to email me her version--it somehow seemed more direct.

I need to start formulating some basic plans regarding what I want to have happen--what I intend to have happen. There are several unresolved issues that need attention. The main item is my diet, metabolism, and getting everything in working order--I'm tired of having to monitor what I eat and not being able to eat what I want to eat. There has to be remedy for this condition, and I need to find it. Perhaps it requires more exercise or whatever!

Rains are supposed to moderate after tonight. Was nice to get the moisture. It really cooled things down. I had a salad vert and a soup de poisson--was tasty, but I rather had the duck or tuna. Oh, well! I've taken my triphala. Sweet dreams!