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T'is the day after and all is bright! Except for the tropical rains that are falling and the balmy breezes that are blowing.

I got up early today and met with L at the car shop. She dropped off her "new" car to get the rear shocks replaced. Her "new" car is an old car that a friend of hers was going to donate. L took it instead. It only needed rear shocks and it's good to go.

Anyway, was up early and disrupted my rituals to some degree. Haven't really done Qigong exercises yet. May do so before bed. Came back from taking her home and did my walk (prior to the rain) and did some shopping. Then, went back to sleep for an hour. Then went out for a sandwich and have doodled about the whole afternoon. Read some, did life force exercises, did Tibetan exercises, snacked some, rested, and sputtered about.

Thought about going shopping for some hand weights, but decided the day after Xmas was probably not the time to hit the stores.

I'm floundering around. My symptoms, especially my tremor and my thought processes, seem to be getting worse. I'm shaking more and feeling anxious more, which amplifies the shaking and makes me feel like I'm swimming in mud cognitively. I'm mostly fine if I sit quietly and not do much of anything, but get weird and unfocused if I try and do anything mildly complex or lightly stressful. My adrenals don't seem to have any capacity for even the least amount of stress. Rest and sleep, I can do. And manage to fix a small range of foods and eat them. But not much else.

I'm growing increasingly frustrated by my lack of energies, focus, and dumb routines. What seemed to be tiny spurts of energy a month or so ago now seem like diffusions and waves of anxiety. The only things that feel "right" in any way are the movements that I do (Qigong, Life Force, Tibetan Five, walking). I'm going to pick up some hand weights and start doing some minor lifting each day. It's like I'm becoming a motion machine in order to survive. Have to add movement to my list of daily regimens (eat, sleep, eliminate, and move). And it is so!