Saturday, December 08, 2007

5281

Getting chilly tonight! Near freezing! Was relatively coolish all day. Too cool for this fool! Symptoms were very present and noticeable.

Met with RS this afternoon. Good to see him! He's always in good spirits. He's now been to India 11 times--almost once every two years since I went with him the first time--21 years ago. He has innumerable stories to tell--about everything--but especially about India. We recalled and had a good laugh over some of the events in that first trip.

However, I came away from our time together a bit sad. I felt frustrated with not being fully present with him--I was spinning about in my symptom maze--feeling like I was not able to process all that he was saying, like being constantly out of phase.

Some of that feeling went away when I got back home, ate something and decompressed. It's such a simple thing--I just want to be cogent and not dealing with symptoms as I interact with people. But that's not what happens. Feeling like I'm out of phase is a perfect descriptor--I'm only partly in gear and as things proceed I become more out of it. Left me feeling sad and frustrated.

Even though we were in my regular cafe, I felt my attention being pulled back and forth like a yo-yo--by other people, movement, sounds, voices, and everything there. Too much stimulation! Can't process well when the stimulation is too heavy. It's like I'm going to have to become a monk, if I'm not one already!

Oh, well! I have a Physics test that I can read to help focus my attention. My Dragon friend sent it to me to show me what he creates for his tutorial students. Quite a challenging-looking document. I thought a Newton was a cookie!

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