Monday, March 16, 2015

2725

Went to the local PD support group meeting this morning. Came away feeling somewhat down--the guest presentation was about speech and eating problems with the illness. I don't seem to have a lot of symptoms in this area--although I do have some. What struck me most of all was that I was the only person in the room who did not have a caregiver. I am on my own--and that came home to me this morning.

Yes, I live with my daughter et al, but there is no one here my age and with whom I can share things. I am on my own! For better or for worse, I seem destined to deal with this situation by myself.

Anyway, this morning's session left me heavy and weighted--not free and light. Dancing is my caregiver for now--and I will head to class again tomorrow. I came home from the meeting, and after I grabbed some lunch, fell asleep for a short while. I then felt like moving so I went to the fitness center. The place was a bit more crowded than usual. I went though a circuit regime but may have done so much quicker than usual. I thought I was doing more repetitions today, but the clock said otherwise as I went to leave the gym.

Of course, I came home and napped some more.

I don't remember if I was dreaming or day dreaming yesterday/today--but I was back in time going over "old movies" of me as a teenager. I was with old girl friends, fishing, being alone a lot, introspective, unable to see myself as I was then, and more. I have an "album" of old images of things related to my early years. I seem to be able to pull out sequences of those images and to do so around my dreaming times. When I consciously try to evoke those images, I feel as if I'm "here" and "there" at the same time. I'm here doing the screening and also there on the screen. Strange sensations!

St. Patrick's Day tomorrow! Irish dancing on its way!

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