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Sunday, Sunday. And the feeling is half-baked. Experiencing a host of what I take to be anxiety-related symptoms. Coming week is starting to stack up with things I'll have to get done prior to L's return.

Biggest item on the agenda is the purchase of a new computer. Started looking through specs and prices. Boring. Too many variables and options. I am quickly saturated with the techno-babble and the overwhelming number of choices.

I've decided that I'll be getting another laptop. Given my mobile situation, that seems more fitting than a fixed desktop unit. L's new desktop is nice, but it would be more handy if I could take it to a coffee shop with wireless hookups.

Except the weather has turned blustery and cool. Winds keep whipping along with 25mph gusts. It's knocking the blueberries off of the bush.

Watched the Road to Perdition last night on DVD. Interesting similarities in story lines between my ex-wife's short film and the movie. Both dealt with how a kid's life is affected by his relationship to a father figure (grandfather in the short film). Movie was fairly absurd--that a man and a kid could pull off all of the robberies, etc. The photographer in the movie was exceptionally strange and eerie.

I dreamed last night of being in a small town. There were a number of storefronts along the main drag. I had been sent to the place to look at the stores that were there and send back a report of what I found. To whom and for whom was not clear. At one point, I was walking between two buildings up high on a ridge that overlooked the main street. I could see the whole spread of the town down below. I was standing on a flimsy catwalk that extended out along the ridge. I noticed that the catwalk was old and rotting. That it was unlikely to hold my weight. I had to move cautiously or not at all.

There were other parts of this dream--me traveling to the town, talking with various storeowners, and meeting various important townspeople. Nothing of major import or that really sticks out.

Keep thinking that my dreams are going to whisper something about all of my worries and such. Give me a hint as to where to look to find answers to my many questions. So last night, it whispers that I should take an inventory of a town (of my storefronts) and write a report about what I find. That there is a viewpoint (catwalk) with a unique perspective, but it is also a dangerous place. Going there, I might end up falling.

But so what? I'm already falling. What's the big deal? I'm on belay, but my support rope keeps slipping and fraying against the sharp rocks. I need to climb, up or down, before the rope gives way. How analytical this all sounds. What does it have to do with anything?

Half the day, the sun day, gone already. I watched the finals of the French Open, yesterday and today. Women's match was not that exciting. Men's match was more engaging. Puerta battled valiantly, but did not win. The young Spanish kid, who won, was amazingly agile. He made shots from angles that looked impossible. Both were happy though once the battle was decided. Both were lefthanded.

I've now been off caffeine for over a week. Feels right to have stopped drinking so much each day, but I miss the energy boost. Also miss eating sweets (pastries, cake, ice cream, candy, etc.). Have been sticking with fruit and juices, but that also affects the energy levels. Feel like breaking these fasts and having a chai and a piece of carrot cake. Will let that desire cook away as I commence my quest for a new laptop.