5901

Met with Rebecca on nutrition plan. Trip over and back was harrowing--rain, fog, mists, puddles of water on the roadway, debris along the shoulder from the eroding hillsides, and lots of vehicles.

Session with Rebecca ended up being more of a coaching session on recovery and the work involved. I mentioned the message board and the horde of recent messages from people who have been in the program. She had gotten some feedback from another client who experienced the same feelings I had when reading the notes. Based on the coaching session, I guess I had let the messages (the content of them) work their way into my psyche. I was shaking like a leaf--partially from the drive, but more so because of the negative thoughts I was running over the content of the messages (spent a lot of time, still having symptoms, went for 15 months to treatments, and so forth). I know that I don't know the detailed circumstances for each of the people writing the messages--but I still allowed what they said to derail me, to get me off track.

Rebecca is good--really sharp. She picked up my state of being and launched into coach-mode to set be back on track. It worked! By the time I got home, which as I've noted was not an easy drive, I was feeling OK and the tremor (which had been really active after the drive over and during the coaching work) went quiet. When I got home, the tremor grew still! Partly a result of getting back to my home base, but also due to her coaching.

She gave me some good ideas that I will incorporate (schedule fun/laughter, look for and get images/names of models, keep some motivational reading handy, make what I'm doing important, and much more--forgiveness list, unresolved issues list, and more). We both agreed that what I'm doing, if done correctly, will take time and will require a lot of discipline and dedication. And, that in 12 months there will be changes as long as I stick with it.

Anyway, went over to discuss diets and got food for the heart and mind. I am grateful that I'm working with such dedicated people. Fading out now! Time to get horizontal!