5804

Still working with reduced food portions and staying with dairy/fruit, but did make a protein powder smoothie this morning. Felt like I needed the boost. Have been slightly hungry all day and energy still not at maximum levels. Did make two loops today on walking route (one morning and one in afternoon), but also slept a lot.

Smoothie tasted great! I mixed protein powder, blueberries, 1/2 banana, prune juice, pineapple juice, and kefir. Was totally tasty! Picked up some malted milk and ice cream (french vanilla) to help add flavors to future concoctions. Looks like I'll need to make at least one drink a day to maintain nutrition/protein levels.

It's nice to have things relatively stabilized, but it's also been 4 months now since I've moved into this place. Four months and not much done or changed--I'm still wrestling with making it through each day. Mornings are usually ok, but afternoons are lost. I recover a bit in the evenings and read some before falling asleep for the night.

Last week's energy recovery and symptom disappearance were heartening, but not being able to sustain those conditions is disappointing. I had hoped for more.

So in the meantime, I continue to look for the key that will unlock my full restoration. I fall asleep every night expecting that I will awaken recovered and fully functional. I've had a couple of days when that's happened, but the other 100+ days have not been as kind.

I want to get back to dancing, to yoga, and get to the spa for some weight work--but I've got to find the energy to make those things possible.

The book I'm reading about religion and being "called" is interesting. It deals with an older man who wants to become an Episcopalian priest and his daughter's search into why he's wants to do so. In trying to understand what he's doing, she has to unravel why he and her mother ended up divorced, and the impact on her and her sister. It's called Do You Hear What I Hear?

Also reading Lance Armstrong's 2nd book--Every Second Counts. It's about living life fully so that every second does count. Both books have things that speak to me around what I'm doing (or not doing) and what I'm experiencing right now. No accidents!