5659

Watched the day closely. It went by slowly. Nine hours since I arose, did my Qigong, had breakfast, went for a walk, and then mushed through until now. Spent a couple of hours talking with L. We met at the Prolific Oven. I had a tea and pastry. Delicious apple strudel!

Came back and did life force exercises, then nodded off for a short spell. Just had a bite to eat. Heater is keeping the place toasty. It wasn't as cold today as yesterday.

Had dreams but don't recall them now. It was something pleasant, but the details have vanished.

L suggested that I should write a children's book. I should write something beyond this daily repeat that I seem to be looping through each day. But I only have so much bandwidth, or so it seems. I write a blob each day and I don't seem to be able to go beyond my paltry reporting. No big insights; no incredible breakthroughs. Coming up on 10 months that I've been here doing just about the same things over and over. Waiting for Godot!

I get bursts of ideas (like moving to a warmer place), but end up letting it fade away under the pressure of the total amount of energy I can muster and imagine bringing forth to actually do something. I keep wishing that I could just snap my fingers and be in a new place, but that isn't going to ever happen. When will I have enough energy to take action? That is the question! And the universe contains the answer, but is not revealing it at present.

So many questions and not so many answers--that seems to be the path for now! And it is so!