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Friday--a week that has gone by very slowly. The daughter's kick off set the tone and the mode--I miss her not being here. I hope she is getting value from what she is doing--and getting in touch with just exactly what set her spinning.

The household mood is clunky and not exactly free form--in the background are all the unanswered questions regarding her not being here. The grandson has noticed her being missing--and there's not much to tell him that makes a lot of sense.

And there's the regular routine for the kids--and the same for their dad. But behind it all is the unspoken questions--the missing pieces of life.

I slept a bit better last night--although I grew really tired last night.

And there is also MD and her needs--and TD's tasks she is doing for MD and the home in general.
Like I said, I'm not hitting on all cylinders--and am not contributing much to what needs to be done. My energy is up and down--but not up very much or very strong. Today, I spent nearly the whole day sitting on the couch--and wrestling with some of my financial issues. I am feeling anxious about the future--I keep imagining things getting tighter and unraveled.

I am suddenly feeling like I might be 80 years old--and that my past decades of energy levels have been reduced now. I did a bit of exercise today--but not enough. I have to get back to going to classes--and such myself to do more movement and work to get my body/spirit back to better levels.