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Dreams | lost | again | and there were dreams aplenty. Only recall one tiny fragment of one dream. In that fragment, there was a pipe and a pool of water. The water was draining into the pipe, but items kept clogging the opening. Some of the items were just pieces of trash. Occasionally, an item would be a live animal--a mouse or bird that had fallen into the water and was being pulled into the pipe by the waters. There were other dreams that seemed to be panoramic--as if they were taking place on a big screen--but no content.
Dancing last night was really good. I've been sliding for a couple of weeks as I've been absorbing my medical state(s). So was good to just dance and let go of a lot of the mental junk. I seemed to be able to move well--no dizziness of problems with turns. I was feeling somewhat tired by the time we were ready to leave, but not unexpected given the layoff.
Ate a lot yesterday. And doing somewhat the same today. There's a dance tonight. Will see if I decide to go or not. I've been out briefly today, but have mostly holed up for the most part. Been thinking and rethinking my living situation. Have not heard about in-law unit I applied for and am beginning to revise my plans--as much as I've been able to plan.
I've been thinking it might be foolish to commit to a place before I get feedback from my doctor and the neurologist. I can easily hang out here for a couple more months and by then may know more about my condition(s) and what I may want to be doing for the long term.
Means I have to put up with the limitations of the current place, but may avoid being stuck in another place when what I may need to do is be elsewhere. It relieves some of the stress in the short run and lets me focus on my rituals and regimens. Focus is something I need to be doing--as my peripatetic meanderings and changes of course reveal.
Just finished readings several stories by China Mieville that dealt with age, infirmities, and mental twists. They were like reading pieces of my recent, current life. The characters were all dealing with life's overwhelms and randomness, doing so in bizarre and unexpected ways. Powerful, difficult to read stories because of their rawness and searing storylines. Will take a break from all that and read some about string theory--oh, yeah! From the bizarre to the universe.
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