Tuesday, January 24, 2006

5963

Mostly restful day. Tremor only around when I feel anxious/stressed. Otherwise, quiet and still for the most part. M had her granddaughter here last night and today. Really changes the dynamics of the adults. She's 18 months and into everything.

I felt a bit tired, but otherwise OK. I walked downtown (about 1.5 miles RT) and had a protein drink at a local coffee house. Checked out the food at the local deli in the New Leaf Grocery. Checked out the menus at the local eating places. Yes, this day has been about food. I'm starting to crave food, but couldn't get myself to choose anything I saw. The protein drink was fine.

I came back and rested for several hours. M had her hands full with her granddaughter, so I did the dishes (sink is low and causes me some upper back pain). Later, when she went to drop off her granddaughter, I made dinner--nothing gourmet, but a tasty meal. I seemed to be looser today, not as tight feeling, and with some sense of strength returning to my arms and hands. Yesterday, I was feeling tight and weak before the session. Chris suggested some breathing exercises that seem to be making a difference.

I'm really clear the I have Rebellious Qi symptoms and a range of anxiety/stress reactions that magnify the Qi symptoms. Noticing which is which gives me some handle on moderating the anxiety/stress reactions and thereby the magnified Qi symptoms.

Will see the woman who started this program tomorrow for a session. Looking forward to working with her and asking some questions.

Got a call from my daughter today. She wants to come over on Friday and help me get to my two sessions. Will be good to see her and spend some time together. Haven't seen her since around the end of the year holidays.

Kind of took a day off today, in some ways. Didn't spend a lot of time focused on doing visualizations. Spent more time doing concrete activities (washing dishes, cooking dinner, etc.). Along with resting and destressing. Weather was great today once the sun emerged.

Received emails from several people who just heard that I was having difficulties. It's good to be in touch with everyone--even though it's a bit one-sided for now. I'm grateful to know so many great people.

L brought me a kirtan CD. I'm wearing it out. I play it anytime I'm in my room either resting or on the computer. It's such a nice background for my healing process.

I flashed on M having her granddaughter here and a feeling I recalled when my 1st sister was born. I was just two years old and I was jealous. I had it all to myself until she arrived. A thread of that old resentment was triggered. Strange to experience such an old feeling, from so long ago. Well, she's gone now and I'm back to having it all to myself, so to speak. Hmmm! Is any of this dopamine-producing?

About ritual bedtime. Time to switch kirtans for monks doing Gregorian chants...and make my way to sleep.

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