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Received the next steps in the nutrition program from Rebecca. I felt overwhelmed by the scope of what is to be done. It's all exactly what I need to be doing, but the sheer amount of effort I believe is involved makes me shudder.

Mainly, I'll have to leave the safety of how I'm coping with a more responsible role in making sure I'm eating (planning, shopping, cooking) the correct foods, supplements, etc. I whined in my note back to her about my feelings of overwhelm and worry. Given my current state of being, I think it will be difficult for me to handle all that is involved. That's my thought--and then there's the reality. FEAR looms--False Evidence Appearing Real. My thoughts are so many instances of false evidence.

Her program looks to be quite complete. Once I do the "spit" test, follow it with the fasting days, and then do the 21-day cleansing diet I should be nearly new inside and out. But, I still resist! Resist seeing this as an opportunity and hold it like another layer of burden.

Time to get over it, to get on with it, with everything. My feeble whines mean nothing in the larger context of restored health. I just want to be there instantly and not do the work--more of the story of my life (or rather of my health).

I opted out of everything this past week--dance class, dancing, doing much of anything. I did get over to SC on Wednesday for the marathon nutrition review, but that's all I've managed this week. My diet is stabilized (or my digestion process), but that goes away with the program--some of my (many) current foods will not be allowed. We shall see! We shall see!

Had an Afghan breakfast this morning (afternoon). Tasty! Eggs poached on top of a mixture of dried tomatoes, shitake mushrooms, veggies, ground beef, and a red sauce.

Otherwise, it's been an oatmeal/fruit/cottage cheese kind of day.

Time to go horizontal and read some before falling into dreams. Been reading about St. Therese, the Little Flower (on the web). Memorial Day madness doesn't penetrate my sanctuary.

Here's how Rebecca suggested I should proceed--

Create your own sacred monastery. Fill your home with inspirational literature, meditate, pray, do lots of yoga and qi gong, take walks in beautiful places, dance for pure JOY, fill your mind with thoughts that heal and fill your heart with love and joy.

Sounds like a plan!