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Twas the night before night before Xmas and all through the house, everyone is stirring, especially the mice--there are cookie crumbs all over the place.

I'm kind of out of sync with everything. I feel as if I'm skiing behind a boat that's moving further and further away from me and my rope, which binds me to the boat, grows thinner and thinner. It keeps stretching and not pulling. I'm mired in the water not able to rise on my skis.

Dreamed a very detailed dream last. I was with a group of men (mostly guys from my men's team). We were an independent tech team that had enjoyed some success building products. We had been invited to an exclusive workshop, sponsored by Apple. There were other groups and individuals there as well. From the start, I felt like we were out of sync with the protocols and ground rules of the workshop. We were a moderately laid back bunch of guys who were not used to highly disciplined situations.

As we came onto the campus, I was already feeling like I wanted to be pushing the limits being imposed. We were supposed to walk directly across campus to the meeting room. I chose to walk off course through a wooded area, ostensibly to check out the types of flora there. Some minders came up to me and tried to redirect me to the meeting room. I politely indicated that I would head there once I inspected the several trees that were growing there.

And so went the whole workshop. All throughout, I kept questioning the workshop leaders pronouncements and tenets. I kept using our group as an example of how we came at product development from an entirely different perspective. We relied of intuition and the building of test models, which we then adapted and refined based on examination and feedback. I was aware, throughout the whole experience, that I was creating a lot of resentment from other groups and people by acting the way I was acting. I would have momentary flashes of doubt regarding what I was doing, but kept on going.

By the end of the all-day session, I was beginning to feel comfortable about what I had done. It became clear that the workshop was designed to find teams of people, like us--ones that would not just do things by rote, but with creativity and using risky techniques. There was a scene near the end of the workshop where I was prompted to come out to the center of the room and join a woman who was one of the workshop leaders. As I approached her, music began playing and a she and I began to dance--a festive swing dance. She was quite a good dancer and I was doing well myself. And so the dream ended--on a high note!