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Had nearly the whole day alone. M&E went up north and will be coming back late tonight. So I had a full day to ponder Janice's tough questions. I still don't have a firm idea of what I want to do with the rest of my life, except not be a poster person for the illness. She also asked me about my relationship to a higher power, and I had had to admit that I don't really have a solid connection. No idea of what I'm doing and no solid connection to the universe. Is it any wonder that I contracted this disease.

So I spent the day practicing and doing. I talked to my body, I prayed, I did yoga, I exercised on the cardio machine, I rested, I nearly slept, I did Qigong, I drove my truck downtown to the bank and around the area a bit, I ate, and a lot more. I plan to drive myself to the rest of my sessions and beyond. It's clear to me that I don't want to end up as a poster person for the disease, so I have to do some digging.

In thinking about what I want to do with the rest of my life, the idea of being outdoors is really appealing. L suggested being a gardener. I'm unclear as to what the eventual answers to Janice's questions are going to be, but I feel that I'm starting to look into the right places. The journey of 1,000 miles is barely started, but is has begun and I am hopeful.

Again--miles to go before I sleep...