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Dreamed | last night (despite little sleep) | of meeting aliens | and exchanging information.
Lost the dream thread as I tossed and turned. Dream was exceptionally clear in terms of images and interactions, but I don't recall the exact content.
Started 3rd week of treatments today. As noted, didn't sleep well so winked out a few times while on the table. Chris worked with me to embed a holograph of the words Love and Gratitude into the area where he was working. He said energy flow change was noticeable immediately. He then said that I might try "being" the words instead of experiencing the activity--watching the activity.
Easier said than done. Watching/experiencing what is happening is ego-based. Being the experience is a whole other game. One that I need to learn to play though. The results are very different.
He mentioned a client he has that is unable to walk from a back injury. She has a van with a lift and a setup that allows her to transfer into the driver's seat. A motor in the rig failed a few weeks ago and she had to wait 2 weeks for it to be ordered and repaired. Two weeks of not being able to get out and around. My silly problems with driving seem miniscule in comparison.
She sounds like my friend, JVR, who's also wheelchair bound, but drives a rigged out van. JVR, in a conversation before I left PA, spoke with me about his condition. The thing I recall from that encounter was his peacefulness and openness. He was not bitter or angry or weak--he was accepting and at ease--in spite of daily pain and discomfort. He, and it sounded like she, has each reached a place where they have gone beyond their limitations and are leading meaningful lives. Yes, I recently saw the Ray Charles movie. Another example of living large despite a terrible loss of crucial capabilities.
Starting to think about the next steps. Have scheduled 2 more weeks of treatments at the current rate (4 per week). If the team concurs, I'll pull back to 2 treatments per week for another month, and begin looking into where I plan to live longterm and what continued treatment frequency I need to maintain. In the meantime, I need to pull back into the traffic flow of life and seek out other moments of full health like I experienced on Sunday. Seek out those moments and expand them into minutes, hours, days, and months of living well.
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Chris suggested that I do visualizations of me being healthy. Up to now, that has been somewhat difficult. But now it seems doable, especially with the moment that happened on Sunday and the sense of well being I'm experiencing tonight. After E and I ate dinner (M is up north), I cleaned up the dishes (karma yoga) and did a bit of stretching and twisting. I'm feeling really quiet and still--the tremor is not around as I write this. I feel like I've turned a corner and am on the recovery road at last!
There's some things coming together--the treatments, the emails that I've received and sent, my attitude (becoming more positive), all of the support I've been experiencing, what I'm learning about the way the illness manifests (and subsides--Chris said I may experience a few strange things like muscles softening and feeling weak because they are no longer rigid), my prayers (being said and being answered), and other signposts.
I am grateful, so grateful, that I chose this option. A few weeks ago, I wasn't convinced that I'd made a good choice (or that I had been guided to the right choice), but today, right now, I feel it is the best thing I could have possibly done (or been guided to). Tonight, I sit in joy! Not just exhilaration, but true joy! Thank you Father for your divine healing love!
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