5936
Short session today. Some scheduling confusion involved. Time enough for about 9 needles. Four to check channel flows. Five more (in forearms and third eye) to help balance system (energy and anxiety).
I spoke quite a bit to the sense that I'm running more emotional stuff, which is helping keep my anxiety levels up and accentuating symptoms. Guess what? Since I'm thinking that I'm having emotional issues, I'm having emotional issues. It's not to deny what's happening, but to just notice what's so. In the physical department, I'm weak but progressing. In the emotional arena, I'm running around in circles, flapping my wings, and getting nowhere.
A lot of the anxiety is centering around finding a place to move back to, and doing so from a remote location. I created this situation in moving here. Now, it's like I have to undo everything, again. It will happen. It's just how much thrashing will I have to do before it all comes together. Oh, the joy of being fragmented!
Had a "magic moment" yesterday at the MP farmer's market. Can't hold onto it, but can let the feelings that arose wash back over me today.
Janice encouraged me to do some of what I call "etheric body" movements. It's letting the light body lead movements and having the physical body follow those movements. She suggested that I practice this exercise. She confirmed that I need less and less of the team's attention. It really is up to me now. It's in my hands (heart, soul, body, mind). She also encouraged me to experience whole body sensations--not just left foot, right foot, etc. Everything is connected and can be experienced that way. That's why their support works the way it works. It supports the whole self, not just the body part being held.
To get a bit philosophical, the whole self is connected as well. What's happening on the various levels (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual) are all part of the whole, the complete being. I can experience this wholeness, this completeness--like I did for a moment at the farmer's market on Sunday. In that moment, I was joy--my entire being was joy, motion, emotion, completeness, and fluidity.
Meanwhile, back at reality ranch, I'm fragmented and not connected--or so I believe. I guess I know where I've work to do, to be done. Accepting the whole picture, the whole system. I long for wholeness, so it must be there. It must be possible! I just have to adjust my goggles so that I see clearly, completely, and fully.
*************************************
Had a thought about the housing issue. Perhaps rent a furnished place (sublet) to get me over there so I can better look for a permanent location. Several options are available--temp sublet or even a furnished room (except don't want to replay my last room--something more bright and not so small). Anyway, checked craigslist and found a couple of possibles. There's a 3-month sublet that looks great. Vmail system on their end has overflowed--will keep trying.
Out of a lot of chaos came some solid possibilities that are not so difficult to deal with. Tomorrow I'll concentrate and see what I can discover. There are options. There are possibilities. Somewhere a place for me!
It's getting pretty cold tonight. It was warmer down in SC today, but not so here in the Feltons.
Even though I took a nap this afternoon, I'm feeling drowsy and it's still fairly early. The cool air is contributing. Makes me want to crawl under the covers and bury my head. Sleep! The balm of healing. Sleep and dream, perhaps.
Reading Cannery Row. What a succinct and perfect piece of writing. He brings that era to life. Reading is a good sign, a positive signal that I'm on the healing track. Although tremor is more active tonight--blame it on the cold! I'll have a conversation with my heart/mind/arm later and find out what's triggering the activity.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home