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Dreamless | or so it seemed | nothing filtering in from the twilight zone | could be imagining is truncating my dreams | since I'm dreaming awake.

Session with Laura today. First of a one-month series where I go two times a week. Felt comfortable today. I'm much less anxious than I was when I started treatments a few weeks back. I was less anxious despite that she needled the merry-go-round scar on my left leg. She inserted 16 needles in the scar tissue with little to no discomfort. I believe only one needle created anything like a pain. The region is mostly fatty tissue and as Laura noted was like sticking a pin in butter.

In addition to the needles, we worked on my right leg (calf, knee, thigh bone, etc.). The leg felt like it wanted to stretch and elongate in order to position the knee cap correctly and have the bone fit into the joint. The result was that my right leg seems longer (which it probably is).

She also held my head and neck and helped with some sacro-cranial movements and motions. My neck clearly wants to move about. We talked some about the tremor (how it's subsiding and how I can affect its intensity). I mentioned my reaction to her client that came out as I was coming in last week. I mentioned how a friend of mine, RS, pointed out that she was a mirror for me, and I started crying--for the woman and for myself. Laura noted that tears may come more often now fro me.

I meandered my way back to the house. Stopped at the natural foods grocery and picked up some delicious cranberry muffins. Went to Trader Joe's to get some staples (prune juice and all-fruit trail mix). Went to the book store to see if they carried The Law and the Promise. I think it would be a perfect gift for the team members. The one excerpt (posted yesterday) is so appropriate--so much so I'll repeat it here--

"Thus the man with palsy was told to rise, to take up his bed and walk--to mentally act as if he were healed; and when the actions of his imagination corresponded with the actions which he would physically perform were he healed--he was healed."

Did some walking today, but didn't do my "lap" to the gate (or beyond) and back. Got up early and focused on getting to this morning's treatment, but still have a few things to do before night settles in--a little yoga, some cardio machine repetitions, some body talk (although treatment covered some of this), some imagining, some prayers, some reading and some looking for a place to live. Break time!
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Feeling a bit frazzled tonight. Perhaps some residue of the treatment. Perhaps the needling. Or perhaps the treatment released some feelings or emotions. Whatever it is, I'm feeling frazzled. Interesting word, frazzled. Thought I'd look up its definition. Means to be totally exhausted or worn out. That's not exactly how I'm feeling. I'm feeling anxious for some reason. I looked up this word's definition and find it to be applicable. Anxious! The ubiquitous anxiety. The anxiety that unknits the sleeve of raveled care.

One definition--experiencing worry, unease, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. That about sums it up, although there's a secondary meaning as well--wanting something very much, typically with a feeling of unease. Hmmm! They both embody and characterize what I'm feeling tonight. Laura said today that typically their program flattens most people's anxieties. I imagine myself in such a state. May it be made real!

Interesting how the anxiety inserted itself into the conversation, the flow, between the session and tonight.

I asked Rebecca to send me her survey forms for doing a nutritional workup. I also accepted a HurkelQuest invitation from a student who is running his first HQ game with my friend and spirit brother, the Dragon. I have a pile of mail to sort through and other dangling details--some of which might create anxiousness.

Didn't win the lottery last night. Means I will do so on some future draw. Will the days fly away without seeing thee, my Lord? An old kirtan hymn raises it's head and sings to me. I'm getting punchy and it's still an early hour. But, rest I must and rest I will. Anxious or not!