5940

Dreamed | last night | about two exceptional children | a brother and a sister | he was younger, she older | They could do miraculous things. | I was helping teach them. | Something to do with water and language. |

Cold today. Cold last night. Affects my tremor. Awoke shaking and until now have been shaking quite a bit today. I noticed that I'm experiencing some letdown. From the past four weeks or from yesterday's session? Or because it's a letdown kind of day.

Walked down to the laundry today. This morning that was a bracing experience--colder than all get out. Invigorating! Tonight was less cold, but still chilly. I was bundled tightly.

Went to Capitola today for breakfast/lunch. Met LL there and had a good 2-hour visit. Ate at the Dharma Cafe (www.dharmaland.com). A natural foods cafe with an elaborate menu (check the site).

Practice was not very structured today. Like I said, it was a cold, letdown kind of day.

It was good to see LL, but I felt myself fall into odd patterns, moods and distracted thinking. It's as if I'm a child and am relearning things (walking, talking, thinking, interacting with others, focusing, and so forth). Perhaps related to last night's dream--about me teaching two young children.

Tomorrow have a late afternoon session with Rebecca. She's been my anchor throughout this process. Each of her sessions have brought me into balance. Chris has been grounding. Janice has been challenging. Laura has been a pool of compassion interlaced with helping me address challenges. Rebecca has been the anchor, literally and figuratively.

I notice that as I write this post I also feel like I'm coming into focus, into balance. I experience a pleasure, a deep satisfaction when putting words together--for any reason. It feeds my soul!

As I write, the layers of the day peel away and reveal a steady source of energy and satisfaction. The actions of the day do not produce this sensation. The writing about the day's actions does expose that sensation. So, I should just write continuously? But, what will be the day's actions in that instance? Just the action of writing, but with nothing to write about. Hmmm! A problem with this picture?

Yet, even now I'm writing about writing and not about any actions. So, it's possible to write and have the writing not be tied to the day's actions, even though the writing is an action. All this is making my brain itch.

I seem to like it better when I have something to report--like tomorrow's session and all of the attendant sub-actions. But, I realize that the session is only two hours--the day is much longer.

I just noticed that I had set the thermostat too low. The room was filling with arctic air. Much better now. I cranked up the heat.

I got an email from a friend today who healed a ruptured disk in her lower back. She said she did it by visualizing having everything being stuffed back in place. It worked for her! About time for me to do some imagining regarding myself. Imagining and dreams! I know they work together.