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Got some sleep yesterday and last night--not 100% but I'll take it! I wrote a friend to give her an update on my situation--here's some excerpts--

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What flared up was (is) a full-force anxiety attack that got fueled by an inability to sleep for over a month. The PD symptoms were not much different, but amplified and confounded by the anxiety and lack of sleep. I finally got a prescription for some Ativan--enough to hold me until I see my PCP. Got those yesterday and got some sleep last night. Will see the PCP this Friday.

Unfortunately, this whole episode sent me to the bottom of any reserves I might have had. I am weak and have stopped driving. Remember MO? I called her for advice since she's had a lot of hospice experience. Bless her, she stepped in and has helped out with food prep, laundry, cleaning this place, rides, shopping and morale/spiritual support. She given me a possibility of getting through this and back on track. A miracle and definitely angelic intervention.

Unless further miracles happen, I won't be able to move anywhere in March. If I do have to move (rents may force me to do so) and unless I can turn things around, I may need to be in a limited home care situation. I really don't know what I'm going to do, can do. I've limited resources which I could make do if I don't have major unexpected expenses--but if I'm to need home care or major medical intervention, those resources would be gone in a flash.

Sorry to dump this at you--today's the first semi-clear thought day in weeks--and your email came up first. I really appreciated your offer of sharing your home. If I were more well, it would be wonderful. But if I don't get more functional, I'm going to need some form of assistance.

I'll be talking to the neurologist about using PD medications, but not until we resolve this anxiety issue. With it out of the picture, I can tell what the PD symptoms are doing and determine if I have to go that way. A month ago, I had the cleanest, clearest and quietest 36 hours that I've ever had on this program--and then comes the anxiety-from-hell days and nights. I thought I had made it--recovered! New Year's Surprise!
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Napped some today! Plan on getting more sleep tonight versus last night! MO's making a new batch of soup. I'm feeling full tonight. Nice to be thinking straight again (or at least as straight as I ever have. May this nodule of clarity expand and encompass all.

Last night I had a very peaceful grace period. Lit some of my new candles and played a CD--sat quietly awaiting dream time.