3106

Rain-a-plenty today! A deluge rife with thunderstorms and blinding sheets of water. Out the back door, the water pools and forms a shoreline view. Hopefully, the hills won't turn to mud and slide down--at least not here. Other places are probably not going to be as fortunate.

Everyone is ill in one way or another. Coughs, runny noses, sneezing, listlessness, and other symptoms. I ended up napping in the late afternoon when MD dozed off and daughter and grandkid went to see a doctor.

Weekend may clear some of the clouds away for a few days. We can probably expect a storm of mosquitoes when the sun heats up all the pools of water that are being made. Mosquitoes and spiders, all sat beside her!

I am surrounded with silence right now. A stillness has settled all around. Winds have abated and the next-door neighbor's chimes have fallen quiet.

Will read some more in the women spy history that I'll be giving to MD tomorrow. Getting into some interesting parts that deal with the cryptography efforts that were made as the wars progressed. Amazing efforts by many individuals without the benefit of Smartphones and computers.

The energies wind down. The evening pulls me into sleep. Dreamed last night but the dreams have turned to smoke now.

3107

New Survivor series has begun! The Brain team sucks! As one contestant put it, it's scary to think of the one person who should have been dumped is a nuclear engineer in real life. And, the rest of the geniuses voting off their two strongest members--sure takes some brains to do that. It's about the dumbest and dumber opening episodes ever. Not much play regarding the Beauty and Brawn teams yet! Hopefully, they'll pick up the pace.

Rain came in a deluge last night and through half the day. Then, the clouds cleared and the sun came forth. I picked up a B-day gift for MD--an historical book about women spies during the early part of the 20th century. I've almost read it through and it is moderately interesting. The author has chosen to just relate the facts but not much color--so it tells who they were but not all that much about what they did. I was going to get her a copy of Human Smoke, but B&N didn't have it in stock at the store.

In my quest for Human Smoke, I discovered a used bookstore across the street from my regular SB's. It's a jumble and fire hazard, but they have a lot of books jammed onto their shelves.

Got a confirmation call from the new neurologist--ready for a visit next week! Have to complete my intake form and create my checklist of topics to be addressed. The Roseville support group has a guest speaker coming on Tuesday to talk about his experience with stem cell therapy and hyperbaric chamber treatments. Sounds like it will be interesting!

Woke up about 4am last night. Finally went back to sleep. Had a dream that involved me picking up a book as a B-day gift for MD. Dream and today's trip to the bookstore were oddly overlapped in content.

I'm feeling somewhat blitzed tonight. Will read a little more about Mata Hari and dream a dream or two.

3108

Rainy daze! Rainy ways! Getting some moisture, as promised by the weather people. It's been raining almost all evening and is supposed to keep going into the weekend. I'm still fading in and out (that's what it feels like) but doing better. Ate a tasty lunch (fish and chips) and made it to TJ's to pick up some groceries.

Checked out a cafe that's just down the road a bit, Dad's Cafe. Kind of a funky menu with items that seem to be overpriced. They talk about comfort food on their web site. I may give it a try just to see how it works, but don't think I'll be going there on a regular basis. It's difficult to beat Annie's for comfort food and comfortable prices.

My SmartPhone went into an update mode and downloaded and installed a newer version of the OS and updated apps. Sort of scary first time around--not sure what was happening and the process took quite a long time. But, all seems well now! Have to keep feeding the machine! The machine is always hungry!

I'm not sure I've eaten my 3 pounds of sugar yet this week. I made a dent in that area though--I had a pecan-filled pastry at SB's with my green tea latte. It was a killer pastry! Very rich and very sweet! They were out of my regular--a morning bun!

The next door neighbor's wind chime has been clanging away this week. The winds have picked up with the storm fronts moving through, and the chimes are clanging. I don't see how he stands it--the constant bonging right outside his house. But, knowing him, he's probably oblivious to such things.

Ding, ding, ding goes the trolley! Clang, clang, clang goes the bell!

3109

Can't seem to get it together today for some reason. Just keep zoning out, napping, and thrashing around. Went out for lunch and had a tasty salad at Panera's--Cobb salad with chicken and avocado. Keep feeling like I'm craving something but can't seem to name what it might be. Soon will be dinner time and debating going out for something or just polishing off the fruit I have in the refrigerator. Fruit and cheese sounds good--tastes good.

Read an article today that says per capita consumption of sugar is about 3 pounds/week average in the U.S.! That's a lot of sugar!

I think I'm still rotating from yesterday's support group session. I so want to think that I won't end up like most of the people in the group--heavily medicated, partly/totally dependent, exhibiting all manner of symptoms, and so on. The image that comes to mind--the sand trap created by an insect called an ant lion. A hapless creature steps into the funnel-shaped depression in the sand and discovers that the more it tries to escape, the more it slides down the slope, into the maw of the ant lion. PD is like the ant lion trap--people with PD are the creatures falling into the trap. A fatalistic but accurate metaphor!

MD's birthday is approaching (I think it's Thursday). She's getting B-day cards from friends and family. Happy B-day MD! Happy 97th B-day!

Still making my way through the MI-5 episodes. Getting close to having seen them all! An amazing video series--well written, researched, and acted! Going to be difficult to find an equally excellent replacement.

3110

Went to PD support group meeting this morning in Folsom (city not prison). Had more people than earlier times that I've gone. Some new people and some previous attendees. As is the case every time I go, I get mixed reverberations. It's good to be with others, but it's awful to see their declines.

I come away feeling both up and down. There was a new person at the meeting today, W. She is newly diagnosed but is already in a wheel chair and attending with two caregivers. She was trying to take charge, but her caregivers had to finish her sentences and re-ask her questions when her voice failed her.

I got positive feedback on my voice quality--even though I haven't been doing much in terms of working on it recently. I got the message, again, that I need to be doing more, consistent exercise. By the end of the meeting, I just wanted to lay down and sleep--which is what I ended up doing. Thoughts of exercises danced in my head!

I don't recall last night's dream content except that it was an active dream involving actual people in my life. A few people at the group meeting remarked that they too are having active dreams--ones that get acted out while asleep, resulting in awakenings and flailing about.

It's starting to be warmer during the days (and nights). Still dropping into the 40s at night, but going into the low 70s during the days.

I started doing some research on black widow spiders and how to control them, if possible. We apparently have some colonies in the back areas of our yard. They are nocturnal and somewhat reclusive--not aggressive unless eggs or hatchlings are involved--and then mostly the females not the males. Well, along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Ms. Muffet away!

3112-3111

Missed doing a posting yesterday. Had a busy day and was fried by the time I got around to thinking about writing anything.

Had an interesting dream the night before. I was with three other men who are people that I actually know. There was RB, CW, BP and me. We were working on a project together. Part of the dream involved the details of the project work. Another part of the dream was centered around us having dinner. We had chosen a place that we liked. It was run by a woman, HMcA. There were not a lot of other people in the place, but the service was still slow. We sat for a long time before a service person came and took out orders. It took over two hours to order, get our food, and eat. HMcA joined us once we were served and ate with us. The whole dream tone was one of irritation and tension.

Yesterday, my ex arrived in the afternoon. The construction people were on site and she talked with the contractor about progress and details. When the construction people finished up for the day, she started pulling weeds that have taken over large areas of the back yard. I felt like joining in and grabbed my work gloves. I only had a trowel and used it to clear a small section of weeds. It was really hard work but it felt good--I had to stop before she did since my lower back was hurting from the task. After showering and eating, I watched some video and ultimately went to bed.

Today, we made a run to a hardware store and picked up a few items. One thing I suggested was to get a weeding tool--so I could stand up and put more leverage into taking out the weeds. The tool worked well--still hard work, but I was able to clear more area in a shorter time. Felt good to work and sweat some.

Folsom support group meets tomorrow. I'm only a week away from having an appointment with my new neurologist. Will use my new SmartPhone's GPS feature to map my way to the doctor's office. Every day, something new to do with the phone!

3113

Not so gentle dental today! Hygiene was thorough and by definition more aggressive than just brushing. No real improvement over previous work. Still have build-up and pockets--despite my efforts to prevent/impede. Irritating! Very irritating!

Also, the dental office is not organized. This time, like the time before, I spent an inordinate amount of time waiting (perhaps an hour) before I was put into the chair. Person doing hygiene was someone new, again! She was not familiar with the office gadgets. She was very experienced with the task and did a good job of cleaning and working with dental remedies (fluoride, laser, cleaning and so on).

There's something not quite right about their whole operation--not sure just what, but something!

It was much warmer today--heater didn't come on as scheduled in the afternoon (4pm). Finally did start running about 7pm.

After grabbing some food for lunch, I came back and nodded off for several hours. The tensions in and around the dental work created a need to zone out. I did my duty!

Looking like an early to bed time tonight. I was up early this morning getting going to the dental place. If I'd known that I'd sit idle when I got there, I would have slept in more. If I recall, their office sent me a link to give them a review the previous visit. I did so and remarked about their chaotic process. Perhaps, I'll get another chance to click their ratings. Will be happy to do so!

3114

Not quite late yet but I'm ready to go to sleep. I have a dental hygiene appointment for 9 in the morning. Not my favorite breakfast activity, but it must be done. I've been somewhat better about doing flossing and such. But, I still expect the same results as I've had forever. We shall see!

So, it's off to slumber land tonight. Ta ta and big dreams!

3115

Wimpy Wednesday! Got stalled early on today when everyone left (except me) and I felt I needed to be available to the workers who are building the patio. Early morning became late morning became even later afternoon. I finally made it out to grab a sandwich and a latte. (Had a delicious chicken sandwich with artichokes, mozzarella, tapenade, lettuce, tomato, and onion! It was a surprise since I got it at the Safeway deli! Didn't expect they'd have something so tasty.)

Came back and rested for a short while and then played with the grandkid for abut two hours. Her mother had an appointment and needed someone to stay with the kid. We had a good time together. She is terribly controlling, but very creative. I'm learning how to be with her and not trigger her with anything she perceives as threatening to her control patterns. Also, I think she's getting used to my attempts at humor and challenge. She is really bright for a five-year old--very bright!

It's getting late so I think I'll end this post and head for the bed. I dreamed last night that I was with a crowd of people and we were laughing at something being said. I let out a big laugh and realized that I was actually laughing loudly for real! I hoped I didn't wake anyone with my guffawing in the middle of the night.

Laughs and dreams! Dreams and laughs! Happy dreaming!

3116

Light and dark today! Sunny and cloudy! Quiet now. Workers and all have come and gone. A lot of movement, noise, and activity throughout the day. I went out for a short while to grab a green tea latte and ultimately some food. Soup and sandwich--turkey noodle and toasted ham and cheese. Simple comfort food! Napped for a short time after eating. Felt drowsy but never really slept. Now, I'm feeling hazy and out of kilter. Ate an ice cream bar (vanilla ice cream dipped in dark chocolate). Was good but now it's gone!

I feel like I want to eat some type of food but don't know what. Just a general craving! It's getting close to dinner time. I'll eat a bowl of fruit (as per usual) and see if that mitigates the cravings. Melon, pineapple, mango and papaya--colors and taste delights. Maybe I'll also eat a bit of cheese with the fruit. That's starting to sound great!

MD went shopping with her caregiver, A, today. They brought back a mountain of food--4 or 5 carry bags of stuff. I noted that the whole pile was for just one person. Actually, just one tiny person! Humans are amazing! MD probably feels better when her cupboards are heavily stocked, but when I step back and see the pile, I can't help but wonder. Food enough for the masses!

I'm starting to hear some noises in the kitchen. MD is probably starting her dinner preparations. I have to give her credit--at her age she's doing well in terms of maintaining her independence. Yes, she's rather narrowly focused on what she does and such, but she's still in control. She'll soon turn 97! She reads, writes, cooks, cleans, shops, and more. She's a bit forgetful about recent things but has clear memories of her past. She is model of growing old but keeping on with life.

3117

Bright and shiny day! Didn't do much with it, but that's how the sunbeams fell. Given that it was a holiday, there was relatively not much celebration going on. However, the SBs were totally jammed! Everyone and their neighbor descended on the local caffeine purveyors and made the baristas jump and shout.

I grabbed a sandwich at Panera's--I'm starting to go there more often--the food and pastries are great. Can't get enough of that great tasting stuff!

MD is having trouble with her bladder. She's in some discomfort despite the cranberry herbal capsules she's using to ease the problem. She's scheduled to see a doctor on Wednesday. Hopefully, her caregiver will come tomorrow and help her some with preparations, shopping, and such.

I figured out how to submit a claim to my insurance people for any medical expenses I'll have to pay when I see the neurologist on March 3rd. The question will be how much they will reimburse from what I'll have to pay. But, the good news is that I'll see the neurologist and get a reading on what I should/should not be doing with everything--medications, exercise, diet, and so on. I have to fill out a intake form that summarizes my medical history and current state(s). Plan on doing that tomorrow (Tuesday--I keep losing track of which day I'm on--for example, I had thoughts of today being Tuesday for some reason). Thank goodness for my new SmartPhone--it keeps me on track.

Well, time to read and sleep, sleep and dream! All the way to San Jose! What the hey!

3118

Sirens in the night! The sounds of a police car ricochets around the canyon. Someone is being naughty, not nice!

Slow day, today! Slept somewhat erratically last night. Fell asleep in the early morning but still got up early as well. Missed my green tea latte the previous day but made up for it today. Back in sync with the green tea link!

Grabbed my favorite sandwich at Pantera--Turkey and cheese on a cheddar bun. That sandwich just satisfies the hunger. Also, it's quite hefty. I ate half for lunch and the remaining half for dinner. Grandkid's grandmother was up and about early since despite a late to bed previous night--the grandkid never seems to need much sleep.

We all were somewhat foggy from getting to bed late after the expedition to the Disney show. I dreamed a vivid dream last night--something to do with a project where I was responsible for several deliverables that were all about to come due. I had worked out a plan and had written up lists of tasks to be accomplished by certain times. I wasn't behind schedule but the managers were pushing for deliveries ahead of scheduled dates. They were driving me nuts! The dream went on to include several status meetings with various project teams. At some point, I told myself that it was only a dream and to turn over and go to sleep. I did so and said adios to the project.

Moon is still almost full--hanging in the western sky like a huge Japanese lantern. Prez's day tomorrow! All hail the Prez!

3119

Sushi and Disney On Ice! Family outing this evening! Grandpa, Grandma, Daughter, and Grandchild munched some tasty sushi and then motored over to the arena for a slice of Disney pie. Aside from the blinking souvenir objects that were purchased by some parents, the show was well done--as you would expect from a Disney production. The blinking things were enough to trigger epileptic fits for anyone with such a disorder.

There was also a family sitting in front of us that came in late, disrupting the show, and then proceeding to take photos and videos of their row. People can be so irritating sometimes! Fortunately, despite their behavior the show's action takes place on a very wide stage so the action wasn't impeded too badly.

Oh, yes! The sushi was actually great! Very elaborate and creative mixtures of various fish and items. I'll have to go there for lunch one day. They are just down the road close by.

Well, it's late in the gate tonight. No soothing TV episodes this evening! Will read a bit and then dream of dancing across the ice. Goodnight Mickey! Goodnight Minnie! See you in the dawn!

3120

Valentine's Day! Hip, hip, hooray! Another heart-filled, bleeding day! Cannot leave and cannot stay! Year of the horse that eats the hay! There has to be another way! Across the seas, along the bay! Whispers, shouts, and a loud melee! But, cannot leave and cannot stay! A-weigh!

Had a way too big lunch today, but it was tasty! BBQ ribs, french fries, green beans, garlic toast, and salad. However, did not do a green tea latte today. Beginning to feel the effects of not having my daily dose of caffeine--even if it's only a light dose with the tea.

Lots of activity about the place today--contractors doing their work on the patio et al. No sign of the nasty neighbor. I thought that the construction guy would park his truck as close as he could to the guy's property--just for giggles. But, he didn't so all is quiet on the neighborhood front.

I only managed to get out and about when I went for lunch. Else, I felt that I needed to stick close in case the construction guys needed anything.

Watched a couple more episodes of MI-5--can't get enough of that BBC stuff! After about 40 episodes where the whole world (or maybe just Britain) is in mortal danger each time, the writers are still coming up with likely, possible scenarios. What helps keep the action moving forward is that they lose an agent now and then--which bolsters the reality element. The agents can be hurt, killed, tortured, and be caught up in their own psychological sidetracks.

Wrote a note to LA today regarding her note about how 2013 was for her. She went through a series of work/life-related turmoils that hopefully will not reprise in 2014. I felt sad for her and all that she had to deal with--but she is a strong person and will make it through just about anything. I encouraged her to do something enlivening and off-the-wall in the coming year--to help her shake off the debris left from last year. May she find peace and joy this year of the horse!

3121

The night before Valentine's Day! Full moon on its way!

I met the next door neighbor--sort of! The guy doing the construction work on the house/yard asked me to move my truck out of the way. He had a load of lumber coming in. I moved the truck onto the road, along the side of our yard. When I parked the truck and stepped out, the neighbor was yelling and cursing, saying that I needed to move the truck so it didn't affect his garbage can pickup. The construction guy joined in and started yelling at the neighbor. I thought that they were going to get into it. I moved the truck to the other side of the street. Apparently, after I went into the house the neighbor came over and apologized to the construction guy. He also just moved his garbage can to where there would be no conflict with the garbage truck. The neighbor is a bona fide wacko! In the past, he had started yelling at our gardener when some leaves were blown in his direction. My daughter confronted him and asked why he was being such an a-hole. She told him off and he backtracked.

I suspect there will be more about the nasty neighbor as time goes by. He's a powder keg just waiting for a match. He has this over-the-top mobile home that looks bigger than his house. It's all he can do to squeeze it onto his driveway. When it's parked, it looks like a giant whale guarding the house. He and his wife put on a great show when they return from a trip and have to back the mobile backwards into its parking spot.

Maybe I should make and send them a valentine card--something with hearts and garbage cans!

3122

Called my PCP this morning and got an appointment to see him later in the afternoon. I couldn't get my prescription filled again without doing an office visit. So, I'm covered with medication past the point where I'll see the neurologist in early March. Otherwise, I would have run out of medication about a week before the planned March appointment.

Somewhat frustrating to be at the mercy of others for something that I need. I'm not sure what might happen if I had to stop medicating for any reason. I also used the visit to the PCP to set up a wellness examination. I somewhat dread what might come up that will need to be handled. I asked him about the lipoma on the back of my neck. He said that it was nothing to worry about. That's good to know but I still might want it gone--for cosmetic reasons--I think it's gotten bigger in the past few years.

Moon was starting to look like a full one tonight. I think it's full on Valentine's Day. Today was warmer than it's been in a while. I wore a short-sleeved shirt--first time in months.

SD went home today. My daughter and her dog have gone to Tahoe. The grandkid is with her dad. Suddenly, it's really quiet. MD is watching some of the Olympics.

I'm still munching my way through the MI-5 episodes. I'm about half way. I might attack the Prime Suspect series next. It's not quite as many episodes as MI-5. I think I saw a statistic that said Netflix viewers watch about an hour of material daily--that's a lot of streaming for the price! I know I've been  helping keep the stats high.

My daughter has some kind of outing planned for this coming weekend--part of an extended B-day celebration for the grandkid. It involves a Disney show on ice and a dinner feast at a Korean cafe where you cook your own food. The place is called Oz--probably the name of the owner!

3123

The rains subside and the sun warms the air. A respite from the grayness, dampness and storm. Workmen appear now that the climate shifts. They resume their minute modifications to the planet--the removal of weeds, the spreading of dirt and sands, and the readying of the space where bricks will be placed. Tiny tedious adjustments that will ultimately disappear--along with any memories of who was where and what they did.

I awaken from a short nap--a timeout that I called after consuming a sandwich and ubiquitous french fries. I consumed a BLT on rye and a pile of crisp potato strips covered in ketchup. I awaken to a sense of repetition, of endless cycles without variation or intention. I could fall back into that pit of sleep, easily, without any special effort.

It requires, it takes, more effort to remain awake and not fold up and dream again. The place has grown quiet. MD and SD have resumed their stillness. Workmen have finished for the day and left--their tools and markings scattered about the place. Their efforts will resume anon, if fate so decides. Each effort is a gamble, a roll of the cosmic dice, a lottery.

I am feeling pensive. I am tight and tense. There are images hovering around me--scenes I see not clearly, but that appear like floating mists and fogs. Imbalance! Wavering! Endless dreams! All manner of spirit loosed and flickering--like tiny motes in the darkness. Elements of light that reach out, across the distance, to ignite the shadows of the burning now.

What dream is this? What is it I'm supposed to see?

3124

I finished my Hour of Code tonight on the code.org website. Code.org is an interactive, extended tutorial that teaches users how to begin to learn to code. It is elegant! It is probably accessible to virtually anyone--kids and seniors all included! It is a joint brainchild of several sharp people supported by many of the big names in computing and technology. In an hour (or so), the user is introduced to a visual, structured set of coding puzzles that introduce the fundamentals of writing code. Again, it is elegant and well done! I'm curious, now, to see what else is available beyond this introductory module.

I'm continuing to mow my way through MI-5 episodes. The rain halted today and made it enticing to get outside more, but MI-5 has my attention. I think I'm starting to see elements from the series appearing in my dreams. The show was really well done--heavily researched and tightly written with a lot of slick video and effects. Makes me want to have been a spy--supposedly my natural inclination according to my Myers-Briggs reports. Perhaps in another life!

SD is here today through Wednesday. It's his 60th birthday today. His mother, MD, who is 97, found him a ride from where he lives (about an hour away) and back, so he could spend a few days here. He's a voracious eater and she had to make a special grocery run to stockup for his visit. If not sleeping, they are watching some of the Olympics.

I'm getting drowsy. Between all of the MI-5 I watched and my Hour of Code episode, I'm starting to fade. Let there be fading? Or rage, rage against the dying of the light. Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the ruffalumpia bite! (Assuming that they can!)

3125

I know! I know! It's Sunday. I thought it was Saturday! I knew it was Saturday! I even convinced MD it was Saturday. And then, the reality fell in and I discovered that I had thought it was Saturday and it was not! Somehow, I had skipped a whole day--left it out of my ken. I felt like the groundhog--time repeating itself. And, by the time I figured out that it was a day later then I thought, half of the current day was indeed gone. Time marches on (or it doesn't)!

Oh, I get it! I think that I was thinking (yesterday) that it was Friday. It was actually Saturday, but somehow I was locked into it being Friday. So, when I went to bed last night, I felt like I had just completed Friday. That sensation (knowing or whatever) carried through last night's sleep cycle and I awoke today (Sunday) thinking it was Saturday. My body/soul was locked to yesterday until today time kicked them free.

Rain was a deluge this morning. The yard was starting to look like a swimming pool in places. It tapered off in the afternoon and things have gone quiet for a while.

My daughter fixed a light, tasty dinner meal--salmon cakes, asparagus, lightly fried potatoes, and rice. Perfect meal--light and healthy.

February is rushing by! There are rainclouds in the sky!  There are things left to try! A marshmallow custard pie! Being wet but staying dry! Facing rainstorms eye to eye!

3126

It's a rainy Saturday. A steady pour since sometime late last night has kept the moisture flowing. I slept in late and could have just stayed in bed--listening to the patter of the raindrops on the roof. Oops! It's not the patter but the pour and splash! The gutter is plugged and the overflow is drowning the shrubs below. Always a mixed bag! Good and not so good all wrapped in the same package.

Went to Pantera and grabbed one of the turkey sandwiches that I enjoy from their menu. It's so good!

Also grabbed a green tea latte from SBs. S was on the machine today--she makes a great latte! She also has a good voice--she sings along with some of the tunes being played in the background.

Long, grey and rainy day. Kids cannot go out and play. Have to wait for a drier day. Perhaps until the month of May!

SD is dropping in next week for a couple of days. It's his 60th B-day on Monday. We'll probably do a small dinner celebration.

Got my state tax refund already! That's perhaps a record for me! Earliest I have ever filed and quickest I've ever got a refund. It's not much in terms of $$, but it's the thought that counts. I'll have to treat myself to lunch with it.

Got an email from LA! Haven't heard from her in a long while.

3127

Where went the week? Faded into the past where it is woven into incomplete memories. A steady rain today. More moisture on its way! And exactly how much does moisture weigh? On a cloudy or a rainy day?

I just nodded off for about an hour. I was starting to post and closed my eyes. The next thing I notice is that I had fallen asleep. I had yawned a big yawn and fell asleep.

I had a sandwich and soup for lunch today. I ate at Pantera. The food tasted exceptionally good. I picked up one of their pecan braids and ate it with a green tea latte at SBs. Very delicious! I was tempted to go back there and get another sandwich because it was so delicious.

Rain is forecast to continue over the weekend. Moisture and chilly weather! Makes me want to curl up and sleep some more. Hibernation at the station!

All for now/today/this evening!

3128

Another day in limbo land! Waiting for the glow! Days seeming to get longer--time not rushing by but creeping along the pathways.

Simple times, and simple faces! Simple smiles on simple faces! Don't remember simple spaces!
Not anymore! Not anymore!

Itchy throat not so itchy anymore! Aches and muscle tensions easing up! Feeling sleepy!

It was rainy, cold and somewhat windy today. I grow old-I grow cold! The leftovers have turned to mold!

I'm feeling frivolous right now. Frivolous and floating! Borborygmi keep on rumbling! And the days they keep on tumbling! I have to keep on mumbling! Until the waves wash high upon the shore--forevermore, forevermore!

I am filled with silence. I no longer hear the music. The night descends and dances across the dreams. The Full Snow Moon approaches--it appears on valentine's day!

3129

Lots of activity and noise around the house today. Workers are installing the new back door and digging up the patio stones that will be replaced. Saws, hammers, radio, and other sounds as the work proceeds.

Also, it is cold! And I'm still not healed enough to go to yoga class. Back/side muscle areas still twinging and feeling tender. No nap today what with all of the noise factors. Throat still scratchy and a bit clogged. I feel like I could have rolled up and slept all day, but did not come close.

Had a late latte (around noon) but no real food (had a morning bun with latte and half of an apple with a piece of cheese). Yearning for something warm but not sure exactly what, if anything. May stick with soup and crackers once the heater kicks on in about 50 minutes.

Email traffic has really dropped off for the past few days. Not sure why, but it's noticeable. My new phone is not getting called upon as it was a week or so ago. The ebbs and flows! The surge and storms! No matter what! The life goes on!

I may pop back in here a bit later this evening--or I may not! All is in flux! All moves and swirls like the mists atop the seas! Tyger, tyger burning bright! Good old Billy Blake!

3130

Made it to the Roseville support group today. About 40 or so attendees--mostly PWPD'ers and a mix of caregivers. I come away from these meetings with mixed feelings. There are people in all stages of the disease development. I continue to see myself as being in better shape than many who are there. But, it's also like looking into the future and seeing how I too will end up. I so want to deny that I will ever be like those with severe symptoms. I know that such an attitude is not being real, but I can't stand accepting that I will ever be in such a state (or set of states).

I admire the couple who head up that support group. They give a lot of themselves to make the monthly sessions happen. The husband is the one with PD so his wife is doing double duty--caregiver and support group organizer. He does his double duty as an organizer and front man, and as a person with PD--which is almost a full time job in itself.

Last night, using a set of remedies, I managed to fend off a tickle in my throat that felt like it was going to be worse than just a tickle. I continued to push the background irritation away for most of the day. Until this evening! With the cool night air and lower temperatures, the tickle edged back. I was sucking on some Ricola drops, which had helped fend off the irritation let night and today, and I managed to get a flake from the drop into my throat, triggering a recurrence of the irritation. It was such a dumb thing to happen--dumb and ironic.

Didn't make it out for a loop walk today--I came home from the meeting and zonked out for a few hours. I think I dreamed some during my nap. Dream and drowse! Drowse and dream!

3131

Moon day once again! Quiet after the weekend storms. I coasted through the day starting with waking up later than I thought I would, getting green tea latte (with breakfast bun--very addictive pastry), resting some, getting lunch at Annie's (lentil soup and ham/cheese sandwich), taking a nap, walking the neighborhood loop, watching episode of Hawaii 5.0, watching a couple of episodes of MI-5, finishing a book of short stories (which were getting stranger and stranger as I read deeper into the stories), throat itching a bit (sucking Ricola herbal drops and drinking a throat-soothing tea, and probably other things as well)--but that sort of sums up the activities.

Support group in Roseville tomorrow. Left calf is better today--walk around loop actually helped loosen it some. Will see how things are when I awaken in the morning and decide if I want to attend the group meeting.

Still rocked by death of actor, Philip Hoffman. Can't imagine what he was thinking as he popped himself for the last time--what he thought he was doing. He was so talented.

Supposed to get cool again over the next few nights. Predictions are for high 20s on Thursday night. The weather patterns are more unpredictable, it seems, than they have ever been.

I'm realizing that I'm not satisfied with my social interactions--which are now confined mostly to family members. I need other outlets and conversations--films and books are only filling up some of the gaps. I miss the groups of people I spent the past five years with, exercising, dancing, and moving together. I didn't realize what a network of people that was there with me in that area. And, I've not managed to recreate that network here, yet. But I need to do so! Yes, I do!

3132

Super Bowl is now a salad bowl. And some really sad news--Philip Hoffman did himself in. He did so by OD'ing while shooting up. He was only 46 and at the top of his game--being a first class actor and movie maker. He's appeared in over 60 roles in films plus also acted on stage. What a loss! A stupid, senseless loss! May he finally rest in peace, if that is a possibility for him now.

There was a final round of play activity today with grandkid and her new stash Bday gifts. She pushed her grandmother's energies to their limits. Starting last night, the grandmother helped her bathe and then stuck with her through some movies, book reading, having her get up around midnight and climb in bed with her, and sharing a bed until she was carried back to her room.

This morning, they began a craft project. This activity segued into another round of game playing. Grandfather (me), who had signed off at bathe time the night before, joined in until the grandmother left (around noon) to return to her home. Grandfather (me) then took over the game playing role. That activity continued for several hours, until her dad picked her up to go to his house.

I was cooked by the time she left. I hadn't eaten anything substantial and was feeling wobbly. Had a bowl of soup and a sandwich, then a green tea latte and pastry, and then sacked out for several hours. I slept until about 6pm! I really conked.

Place has been really quiet once the energies of the grandkid were relocated to her dad's place. I'm still somewhat gimpy in the calf of my left leg. Lower back is better, but as noted yesterday, the discomfort seems to be migrating down the leg. Hopefully, things will be smoothed out by Wednesday so I can resume classes. It is vital that I get back to regular physical activities--I can sense the atrophy taking place when I am not moving on a regular basis. Have to keep moving!

3133

Bday party is done! There were at least three Bday parties at the park today. Many people, young and older, were celebrating. The Bday kids were young but collected a massive mound of loot. There were several BBQ grills in action. For a pleasant change, it was clear and sunny. Still a bit chilly, but overall a great day for a party.

I've gotten a charlie-horse in my left leg--in the calf muscle. It's limiting how well I can step out in a normal stride. It's interesting that the soreness I was experiencing in the left back muscles seems to have migrated down my leg. My left back is much better. I guess it was a good idea not to have done any classes for the past few days.

Just awoke from a nap. I could just flop down and sleep. But I'll not do that!

Super Bowl tomorrow! The world will be mesmerized and transfixed by the action on the screens. It's the Hunger Games, for sure!

I'm just meandering--mumbling to myself!