5715

Day 2 without a nap. Felt fuzzy for parts of the day, but didn't sleep or rest. Ate a lot today (and yesterday). Continuing to feel hungry--more so than normal. Craving some foods like chocolate milk.

Awoke late today, but did a walk. It's been cool today/this morning.

Tired right now even though it's early. Will most likely hit the bed soon and read myself into an early sleep. I think things are getting better, but it's all in flux right now--on the move.

5716

Different day! Didn't sleep (yet!). Did rest some and read, but felt wired for most of the day. Have been eating more today and eating a mix of things. Didn't take my walk today. Been feeling fairly "clear" today. Had to handle my bills, which I did get out of the way. Feeling a bit ragged since I haven't taken a nap, but don't seem to want to nap. Feel more like getting out and about, perhaps going out for dinner or going out to get some dinner.

Been eating more nuts with my meals and for snacks. Seems like a good way to get protein and oils. Bought several different kinds today to sprinkle over dishes and for snacking.

Slept well last night although I did wake up around 5am. Fell back asleep without any problems.

Nearly the beginning of my 8th month here! Time has gone by so quickly despite my virtually inactive life. Seven months have zoomed past! Plus two months before that. A year ago I was returning from Memphis knowing that something was amiss. Two years ago I was getting used to not working and knowing that something was amiss then as well. Over two years of dealing with this set of issues. Know more now, but am still floundering, flopping on the bank. The dance continues!

5717

Lazy, hazy day! Slept in late this morning. Almost didn't do rituals, but did them anyway. Still have yet to do a walk, but will do so--at the baylands. Been waiting for the sun to appear. Feeling somewhat foggy like the weather.

The blogger system has been acting strange--last night and again today. Status says that there have been some spammers messing with the system. Everything eventually seems to work, but it's difficult to tell what's happening. Think I'll go for a walk and try again later.
*************************************
It was nice out on the bay. I walked a bit further than I did last time and a longer distance than I normally walk. I got tired. Came home and ate something and fell into a deep sleep. Awoke to the noises of some window cleaners working on the place next door. Always some new noise to be enjoyed. Got up and made myself a toasted cheese sandwich. Ate some chips with it. I'm still hungry, but it's getting close to dinner time.

Feeling like my body wants to be moving and doing things as well as sleeping and resting. Not sure if the feeling isn't some residual from the chai I drank last night--caffeine effects making me jittery. Time will tell!

Guess I'll try and post today's notes and see if the blogger system is working smoothly once again. Here goes!

5718

Morning was busy and active. Afternoon was crash and sleep time. Evening is somewhere in between. Not sure why I had to sleep so much this afternoon. But, body felt like it wanted to rest and sleep, so I did it. Had to force myself to get up to eat.

Picked up some Traumeel, the ointment that Chris suggested to use on my sore hand. Will see if it does anything. Have to get my hand back in order before I can resume yoga or pushups and such.

Ate a mix of things today. Digestion continues to be normal even with the range of food items I've been eating. Happy to have it be that way!

Getting late! Time to sign off and read some before hitting the dreamspace. Plus a little 3rd chakra chanting. Goodly night!!

5719

Had a good treatment session. Made it over and back in record time. Feeling very still, very quiet. We worked on sending messages (qualities) from the heart to the brain. Also worked on sending the brain's response back to the heart (reactions, sensations).

In each round, the heart responded to the brain's reactions by enhancing the messages being sent. The messages were initiated by having the brain tell the heart what quality was desired--for example, joy. The heart sent "joy" messages to which the brain responded by relaxing. When the heart experienced the sensation of relaxation, it pumped out more joy messages. And so it went, round and round. It was a fun, enjoyable, powerful session.

I've not slept today (did rest some--on the table and when I returned home). May do so soon. Met with RB for dinner. He had a great summer that included a week at a working cattle ranch. Sounded awesome! He gets his 6-year check up in the morrow. Not expecting anything but goodly news! Go RB!

5720

Good morning, but lost the rest of the day. Slept quite a bit in the early afternoon--more than I thought I would. Although I did have a slight problem falling asleep last night. I was restless--perhaps from the chai that I drank earlier in the day.

Have a treatment scheduled in the morrow. Looking forward to the session despite the lengthy drive over and back.

Did some research at the new Whole Foods today. They carry the Garden of Life products. Everything is fairly expensive, but it will be worth a try to see how they work. They have a goat milk protein supplement and a whole green foods powder. The green foods is similar to the green foods I'm now using. The protein supplement is supposed to be better than the rice-based one I'm taking.

The Rubin book raises the question that no one knows the long term effects of ingesting protein isolates versus actual protein. No parallels in nature.

Warm and muggy this afternoon and night. Looking for the cool!

5721

Another partially "clear" day. Got call from L when I was on my walk. Met with her and had a pastry and a chai. Nice to be "normal" once again. Picked up dinner at Whole Foods (I can see that that place is going to be difficult to resist). Picked up a salmon teriyaki rice bowl and a delicious piece of bread pudding. Didn't do anything today except morning rituals, ate a variety of foods, went shopping for supplies, slept for about two hours after visiting with L, and so on.

Felt good today--fairly "clear" as I've already mentioned. Nice to not be a "prisoner to my diet" anymore. Still watching and monitoring, but heading into the 7th week with stable digestion. Continuing to take AG and aloe vera juice, plus an occasional acidophilus tablet, and watching portion sizes. But, I'm mixing and matching different foods more.

Have a treatment scheduled for Tuesday around midday. I may be in the best state of being since I started my recovery process. Still having to rest and sleep, and still not able to dance and such, but I believe I'm getting stronger--tiny bubbles in the air!

It helps tremendously to be able to eat a variety foods. A major step up the ladder! May the trends continue! May everyone enjoy good health!

5722

Mostly a quiet day. Did morning rituals, took a walk, and then had to sleep. Sat around for most of the day and took several rest breaks from that. Felt energetic early in the morning, but was overtaken by lassitude.

Still feeling short bursts of clearness--they come and go. Think I'm gaining a bit of weight. I'm browsing most of the day even though I'm trying to eat three major meals. I feel hungry though and I grab something to eat. Digestion continues to hold steady. Heading into seven weeks of that condition (thank you, thank you, thank you).

Relatively quiet here at the complex. A few bursts of noise and clatter, but fairly quiet for a weekend compared to some.

Will make efforts to get up and out tomorrow--explore the world some--shop at Whole Foods. Oh, yeah!

5723

Had a good day! Did morning rituals (except for a walk) and did laundry, shopped, etc. Had to nap some in the afternoon even though I could have pushed through and not done so. Been somewhat "clear" most of the day.

Went to Printer's Inc for dinner and the Dairy Queen for dessert. Been craving ice cream. New Whole Foods has opened down the street in Los Altos. Stopped to take a look. Huge place! Were lots of people milling about this evening. Parking is a two-floor adventure in loops and turns. No doubt it will do well. May take some of the steam out of TJ's across the street. I, no doubt, will migrate there for the quality food that's already prepared. Prices looked a bit higher than at the PA store. Huge seafood counter. Plus they have the cook-it-there stations (noodles, crepes, pizza, burritos, etc.). And a pastry/coffee bar, of course.

Changes! Impermanence! Shifting scenes. Emerging health! So be it!

5724

Dental daze surprise! Dentist was about to give me injections today when he double-checked everything and discovered that the fillings had already been done. The hygienist had seen the note for the fillings, but failed to notice that they had been done. Glad the dentist rechecked things before pumping me full of medication. They had spread some topical around the areas so I had some numbness, but nothing like what the shots would have produced.

I think the dentist recognized his own work in those two areas and did the double-check when he saw what was there. Anyway, a happy adventure.

Day somewhat unraveled from there. I went for my walk after things settled down. I went out on the baylands. Felt good to walk with the cross-breezes and with the wildlife. There were some fish running the channels. Some of the big white pelicans kept trying to catch a bite, but the fish were fairly large.

Came back and slept for a while. Nice now that it's cooling down some. Ate lightly today and will have some fruit before retiring. Digestion continues to hold steady! Felt good today even though I was a bit tired. Picked up some arabinogalactans from Whole Foods--they happened to have some in powder form. Needed to replenish my supply just in case. It seems to help foster my digestion despite its strange name. Larch tree bark!

5725

Dental Daze! Went for a hygiene today. Have to return tomorrow for two fillings--replacements of old amalgam ones. Be good to get more amalgam out of my mouth.

Kind of a lost day. Had to get up early (and will have to do the same in the morrow) and truck over for the repair work. Leaves the rest of the day hanging. I didn't sleep much today, but spent a lot of time in fogville. Oh, well! I have clean teeth.

My daughter dropped by to pick up some clothes she left in the truck. She was driving a rental car--slick new Nissan! Very nice! She's getting her car repaired. Hopefully, it is repairable and will work for her until she finishes school. Her rental had a keyless system. If you had the key/chip on/near you and you were inside the car, you could start the engine without the key. Technology! Some new gadget every day.

My digestion is holding, I believe. I've sort of dumped a variety of things yesterday and today. Hopefully, everything is processing smoothly. Today makes six weeks of stable digestion (except for the two days of stomach upset).

Someone just brought a kid back from karate class. He/she is going nuts in the front area, yelling and punching. Hmmm!

Well it's early to bed again tonight. Reading stories in several books. European authors (2) and a collection of SciFi pieces (Azimov). There was an interesting SciFi story that revolved around reincarnation and AI technology. What strange things the mind considers!

5726

Better day! Did morning rituals and went for walk. Beautiful day! Came back and went out to grab some items from TJ's. Rested a bit when I returned. Ate various things. Went to library and dropped by Mac's to get a SciFi periodical. Went by Whole Foods and picked up a piece of chicken and some tofu stroganoff. Drank some more of the organic chocolate milk. Digestion seems to be keeping up with all the varied food items. It's been six weeks now that things have smoothed out and settled down.

Still getting surges of energy, but nothing grounded--just sensations of energy and some
feelings of anxiety--like there's energy and no place for it to go. Feeling somewhat quiet this evening. Have dental appointment in the morning and will have to get up early so I can do rituals and make a smoothie before heading to the gentle dental place. Clean those bicuspids!

5727

Long day. Day without end--and no beginning or middle as well. Kept wanting to get out and about, but after my morning walk I could only sleep and eat. Read late into the evening last night. Finished the Anaya novel, Alburquerque. Started in on the collection of stories by Hood.

Another day, another day! May the morrow bring new things.

5728

Mixed day! Got a call from my daughter in the middle of my morning rituals. She needed a ride to work. Day cascaded from there on with things out of synch. Ate late, shopped late. Met with L in the middle of the Jewish Festival on California Ave and had a turkey-tomatillo sandwich. Ordered a half sandwich, but they gave me a whole one. Ate it all eventually as I took some home. Quite a slug of food compared to what I've been eating. But, tasted great!

Bought some organic chocolate milk! Trying a bit of everything. Seems to all be assimilating as I go.

Came back from lunch/festival and slept--an overdue activity given the morning and early afternoon. Was feeling sort of antsy at the festival. Energy was running a bit wild and I didn't get in my walk in the morning. Better somewhat after I slept some and as evening arrives. My energy is trying to tell me something--I need to tune in and see what it's trying to say...

5729

Sleepytime once again today! Awoke early, did rituals, went shopping and when I returned I had to sleep. Then cycled between eating and sleeping until now (this evening). Guess it was time to sleep!

Enjoying the Anaya book, Alburquerque. He's a superb storyteller! He weaves in history in a seamless fashion. Tonight's another reading night, I guess.

Have another book I've not yet opened--a story collection. Read through all of Carver's works. He didn't produce all that many stories, but they are well-crafted and memorable. Too bad he died so early in his career. If he was like his characters, smoking was constant activity, and his lungs gave out.

Evening arrives. The sun sets down behind trees. A hazy golden light fills the room, paints the walls in textures. Night waits nearby to make her entrance.

5730

Another day of sputter! But, some progress! I went to the library, shopped for some trousers, and had dinner out. All that and my morning rituals including a walk. The trousers I bought were 32 snug in the waist--that's 4 inches down from the 36 snug in the waist I was wearing a year ago. I probably will outgrow the new ones as I start to gain weight--so only bought two items.

Rested some today, but didn't sleep much, if any! May have cat napped some, but not a lot! Kept feeling like I wanted to be up and about or was hungry.

Had a frittata for dinner with bread, butter and bacon. Will see how that works for me. It's a dish I didn't have a lot of trouble with before things got so strange in digestion land. Never had it with bacon before, but a first time for everything. Bacon tasted great!

Bumped into S (from dancing) when I went to dinner. He was telling me about his theories of when the Earth got hit by comet debris. He's a kick! He's always expounding some way out theory regarding ancient events. Managed to track with him for about half an hour, but then started fading. Partly, was feeling the dinner. Most I've eaten in one sitting for quite some time.

Was cool today--windy and cool! Energies continue to be somewhat sporadic, but something's bubbling. Was cool enough to make me want to get some trousers that fit so I can stay warm and be comfortable.

Feeling like it's an early night tonight. Started another Anaya novel, Alburquerque. That's how he spells it--supposedly it was painted incorrectly on a station sign when the train first came there. The station master couldn't pronounce the first "r" so he left it off the sign. Anaya puts it back in the title of the novel. Finished his "Bless me, Ultima" novel--really good, engaging story--couldn't put it down. Alburquerque promises to be the same.

5731

Energy level still bouncing around. Did take a short nap today, but was "awake" most of the day. Wasn't truly functional, but was "awake" and feeling like I had energy flowing. It's a sensation that makes me feel like doing something, but not anything in particular.

My analogy yesterday of an engine being cranked that hadn't been run in quite some time still holds. I'm sputtering along, singing my song! The energy is erratic, not focused, and somewhat manic-feeling. But, it's energy!

Weather turned cool today--windy and cool. The brisk coolness is amplifying the energy sensations. Complex was noisy on and off today. Even when it was quiet, the winds were kicking up and keeping things going.

Digestion continues to hold. It's now been 5 weeks of fairly normal activity. May it continue! Sambhar lentil stew! One of the food items I've been enjoying--over steamed brown rice. Good dish with the cooling weather. Continuing to browse and eat what seems good for me to consume. Staying relaxed about which foods I'm eating and the amounts--although I'm still only eating smaller portions, in general.

Occasionally thinking about next steps. Next place to live. Next round of treatments. Next, next, next! All assuming that I am up for what's next, or will be so. May I become clear on what to do. Oh, yeah!

5732

I'm feeling like a balky tractor engine. I seem to be trying to begin running, but I keep sputtering and clunking along. I think I'm beginning to feel the awakening of energies, but it's hit and miss right now--sputtering!

I've got new energy flows beginning to move through my systems, but the flows are all over the map. I'll feel tired, will lie down, but can't sleep. After a bit, I'll have to get up. All this is good I'm assuming, and that it will work itself out over time. Like last night--I was really dead tired and went right to sleep. Couldn't think about reading.

I'm still grazing for whatever food seems good for me. Really enjoying the grains and veggies, with some dairy thrown in for variety. Will keep on riding and see where the trail takes me.

Garbage day! The cans were overfull and the garbage men just dumped the excess on the ground. What a mess! I felt compelled to clean it all up, which I did. Also wrote a note of complaint regarding what happened. They could have just refused to pick up the trash--they didn't have to take such a deliberately negative way of handling the issue. Anyway, I put in my two cents worth on the subject.

Starting another early fade tonight (like last night). Adios!

5733

Interesting day! Seemed to have more energy, but almost in a manic form. Was in and out all day, except for the really warm afternoon time when all I could manage was to sit in the slight draft that moved though the room.

Picked up my daughter and gave her a ride to work. Stopped and shopped on way back. Picked up some basic foods--veggies, soups and a loaf of bread. Had a smoothie for breakfast, some apple, a small cheese sandwich, a glass of lemonade, a bowl of steamed veggies and brown rice, and a piece of toast as a snack during the day. The grains and veggies really taste great! It's been a while since I enjoyed those items. I'm still just following what my stomach seems to want (although I didn't act on getting a spicy chicken sandwich from Jack in the Box--which I was craving for some reason--maybe tomorrow!).

Will be curious to see how this mix of foods works through my system. Smoothly, I hope! I'm not yet eating the amount of foods I was consuming when I was sticking to the dairy/fruit regimen. I think that's going to change fairly quickly. The warm weather curbs my appetite some.

Other than the somewhat manic energy today, I felt good today--like the symptoms were on hold. I didn't get in a walk this morning. Need to do so in the morrow. Have missed a few days of walking over the past week. Need to get it back on the schedule.

Gosh, how did it get to be so late already? Adios! Hummee Hum, Bhram Hum!

5734

Good session with Laura today in SC. We did some "chakra" replacement exercises. Replaced my 3rd chakra with one from someone who has a powerful 3rd chakra--Yogananda!

Felt all of my chakras align and activate when we made the replacement. My 3rd chakra was not alone, isolated, but connected with the rest of my system. Left SC clear and awake (got there a bit frazzled and weak). Was a powerful session--I'm still tingling.

Came home and had to eat--I was starving! I'm starting to eat a more varied fare--eating whatever seems that my body wants. Digestion still seems to be holding steady. I'm eating smaller portions of things, but as I get hungry. Yes, yet another change! But, I can't go back to the dairy/fruit mono-diet. My system won't go there.

Will see how things unfold. My body seems to be liking the variety and it feels like I'm getting nutrients from what I'm eating. But, it's early in the cycle.

Will do my 3rd chakra chants tonight with my new one. Feeling good! Oh, yeah!

5735

Laundry day and lining up for tomorrow's trip to Santa Cruz. Session with Laura. Looking forward to the session. Had a fairly quiet day--slept several times in between errands.

Felt fairly energetic when I awoke--faded as the day wore on--starting to feel better again as evening rolls in... For dinner, I had vegetables and rice--simple foods. Still having reluctance to restoring the dairy/fruit regimen. Not sure why, but following my gut--literally.

Not much else to report... Still cycling in and out of symptoms, in and out of staying awake. Reading. What will the morrow bring? Auspicious day! 9/11!

5736

Better today! Ate some oatmeal and chicken stew (not together). Couldn't think about dairy and fruit today. Needed something more grounding. May portend a shift, yet again, in what I eat. My system just doesn't want to continue with the dairy. Will sleep on it and see what the morrow brings.

I'm tried of being tired! Way tired of it all! Hear from Rebecca today. Time for another "spit" test. And time to become untired! Way beyond time! So be it!

5737

Ate something that messed up my stomach. Started last night and continued through today. I slept a great deal today, ate a little, and made numerous trips to the elimination chamber. Surprised me since I had no clue what happened until it happened. Hopefully, I'm on the back side of it now. Will get more sleep, rest and start anew in the morrow.

5738

Spent the day spending the day! Made it to the library and picked up some more Carver stories and an Anaya novel. Met L for a pastry and picked up my daughter from work and drove her to her place--she's still car-less.

Slept some today, but not a lot. Feeling sort of ok. Nothing major. Just feel like there's a lot of flux going on with me. I get trickles of energy, but not enough to really do anything. Symptoms are all over the map. Fruit/dairy diet is starting to get boring. Need to look into what else I can make/eat to add some variety to the mix.

Feeling tired tonight. Time to read a few stories and pack it in.

5739

Trucking update--Took truck in for a service today. Got up early (for me) at 6:30AM. Did my rituals (no walk) and motored down to the dealer. New place since they closed the local dealerships.

I didn't realize that my maintenance contract had expired. Was an expensive venture! Turned out my battery tested out in the red zone--a warning of possible problems. I had them replace it. Anyway, the truck is serviced and ready! At the rate I'm driving it, this service should be good for 6 months.

Rode the bus from and back to the dealership. The 22 line is like a personal taxi service as long as you're going from someplace on El Camino to some other place on El Camino. A few strange people get on and off, and there are numerous homeless people sleeping on the benches at the stops. Makes for an interesting excursion.

Truck was ready in the early afternoon. I picked it up and came back and slept. I hadn't really napped all day until then. I conked out. Awoke to some warm weather heating up the place.

Starting to cool a bit now. Almost time for my 7 o'clock munch. Digestion continues to hold steady. It's been four weeks now. Thank you arabinogalactans (if that's what made the difference). Was sort of twitchy today--perhaps from not enough rest and the stimulation of the day's events. Seem to be calming down some now. May that be the case! Week is zooming by!

5740

Long, slow day! Sleep-a-thon once again! Did manage to clear out the truck so it can be serviced tomorrow. Picked up mail, but not much else accomplished. Shaved and showered. Ate! But needed to sleep so I did.

Pizza being delivered to someone here in the complex. Will I ever be able to eat a slice of pizza once again? Perhaps! If my digestion completely stabilizes. May that be so!

So early to bed tonight. Have to drop off the truck at 8:20AM and then play shuttle with the bus.

Looks like the neighbor with the oil leak (on his car) has bought a replacement vehicle. Good for him! Now he has to clean the parking spot before he can park his new one in the space. Good for both of us! Must be his car-ma!

5741

Sleepy day! Sleepier than some of the past few days. Was awake a bit late last night and arose late this morning. Day has been in slo-mo.

Except when I dropped a pint of blueberries! They hit the floor and scattered everywhere. There are a lot of blueberries in a pint as I found out by having to pick every one of them up to be washed. Well that was my excitement for the day.

Reading a collection of short stories by Raymond Carver. They are printed in a nearly chronological order so I can really get a feel for how he improved over time. He died young, at 50, from lung cancer, which you can almost get by reading his stories--his characters smoke and drink to excess in many cases.

His stories and style are not "literary," but are rich with characterization of ordinary people and story twists. I know I've read some of his work in the past, and I knew how well thought of he was, but this is my first extensive exposure to his work. It's impressive! He's been compared favorably to Chekhov.

Anyway, I'm enjoying the sleepy day and look forward to evening and some more Carver. Labor Day is almost history as is the "Crocodile Hunter"--lanced by a sting ray! What a bizarre event! Sad for his family!

5742

Having a good day! Feeling like I'm awake and alive! Only took a single nap so far. Didn't feel the need to nap after this morning's rituals. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! May it become my reality!

Digestion continues to be stable. Had an oatmeal/fruit pastry last night that seemed to assimilate smoothly. In fact, I was feeling good last night--even had some difficulty falling asleep--wanted to stay in the "bubble" that I was feeling.

Awoke today still feeling good. Am winding down some now after going out to pick up a few food items and supplements. Replenished my cache of dairy including my supply of quark. I'm virtually out of all of my "regular" supplements--feel a bit lost when I sit to eat and don't have a pile of pills to chuck down with the food.

Was feeling "hungry" last night before I had the pastry--like my system wanted more food, more fuel. Been eating normally today, but will see what happens later this evening. I still have an It's-It in the freezer.

Nice to feel some energy, some sense of my body starting to work once again. I did manage to injure my left hand in some way. May have fractured a bone in that hand. It's twinging and I have to be careful and not put weight on it. It too shall pass!

Felt good walking this morning. Brilliant weather! Looking forward to it cooling down this evening. Right now, time to be here now! It's always that time!

5743

Fall is in the air! Opening days of September arrive with brisk air and clear skies. Feeling good! Not 100%, but seemingly better with each nap. Digestion holds. Diet maintains.

It's early in the day. Been up a few hours and did my rituals--now into midday drifting. Resting some.

Nothing of import to report. Just maintaining and imagining health. Can't spend a lot of time on the computer. Restless! Reading is the only thing that moderates everything, impacts reactions.

Got a call from SP asking if I would give him a reference. Be glad to do that. He was an excellent employee! Too bad he has to continue to look for work. The job market sucks! He'll figure it out.

Saw H and C pull up across the street today. Their daughter must live back in the complex. Looks like they came for a party. I didn't rush out to say hello and I won't do so. Interesting flux and flow of lives.

Starting to warm up. Morning coolness dissipating with the light of the sun. Time to rest!

5744

September 1 and a half moon hanging in the sky. Read my way through a collection of short stories by Daphne Kolatay called Calamities. A dozen stories with characters intertwined so that they all appear in the final piece. Engaging stories taken separately, but amazing when they are all read together--a weave of words!

Been an ok day! I didn't sleep much today. Felt somewhat energized as well as tired, but not tired enough to sleep any appreciable amount. Digestion continues to hold steady. I'm feeling like I want to eat more, but not more dairy/fruit. Next week will make it one month of clear digestion. When I hit the one month mark, I'll start adding in other foods and such.

Sleepy tonight! Nice now that it's cooled off some. Dream time calls!