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Really cold last night! Had some difficulty falling asleep. Am feeling logy today. Just met with my daughter. She needed some help paying her rent since her job is cut back during this time of year. She has a lead on another job that pays more and has more hours. May she get it! Her current rent was just increased.

I'm feeling rocky today. Not as together as I felt yesterday. I noticed that the tremor/symptoms were more active when I was talking with my daughter. My voice was weaker and not full-bodied. What is that all about? Anxiety over, what? Perhaps not enough food so far today. Had oatmeal this morning and chicken soup for lunch. Perhaps I'll snack soon and then eat a heftier dinner.

Got a note from GH's friends who have a parent who's been diagnosed with PD symptoms. They are both body workers and he's an acupuncturist. I sent them copies of several chapters from the PDRecovery book, plus my thoughts regarding some of the questions he asked. Felt good to help point them in a direction. Wish there was a quick fix, but doesn't appear to be one.

My friend L's car gave it up last night. Now she has to look for a replacement. It was a good old car, but it was its time to go. Everything changes!
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Snacked and dined and am feeling somewhat better. Anxiety oozed into the cracks and crevasses causing undue commotion. Food helped. So did just sitting quietly for a spell. Will retire early tonight and see if I can make up for last night's rumpled sleep. Oh, happy days! What's next? What's on the agenda that I can't seem to figure out?

About to do a spell under the far infrared lamps. So far, those sessions have been relaxing and calming. It seems warmer tonight! Temperature hasn't dropped a lot over the past few hours. So, lamps are hot! Time to relax in the healing heat!

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Weathering the cool spell. Staying bundled and have the heaters working. All these efforts are helping moderate the tremor--it was not too evident today with my keeping my arm/shoulder warm.

Also, the laser treatments I got on Monday are still having some effects. My arm/shoulder continues to be relaxed/looser as a result of the treatments. I even did my daily walk today (bundled up) and was able to garner some sunshine along the way. Thank the goodness that it's not windy/rainy so far.

I even had a smoothie for breakfast and didn't cause any amplification of symptoms. Had a spicy hot soup last night for dinner that drove my core temperature up. Just have to keep experimenting and noticing what works.

Went to the library today and picked up some more fiction. Got a notice that Dale Peterson's new book about Jane Goodall is on hold for me. Will get it tomorrow.

Spent part of my time today observing how I was doing. Was I shaking? When? What triggered it? Was I sleepy or tired? I spent a good chunk of the morning and early afternoon being out and about. When I returned, I had to rest/sleep. Then did life force exercises, heat lamps, and ate a snack and dinner. Watched to see if the food helped quiet things down. Noticed that I had waited a bit too long for a snack and was feeling some effects (buzzy, fuzzy, anxious).

All in all, it was a good day. One in which I was able to observe what I was doing instead of just doing and pressing onwards.

Dreams last night I think involved JON and LOT's husband. I'm not too sure when that dream took place during the night or what is was about. Also believe I had a dream sequence where Yogananda and an angel were working on my arm/shoulder that houses the tremor. They were bathing that area and ministering to it. Again, don't know if this took place as I fell asleep or was awakening.

Been thinking some about my spirit brother's prompt for me to write up my experiences so far. I've got over 500 pages of postings since I started this blog. A lot of material to work with! He suggested that I cast it as a dialogue between myself and some characters. Need to review what I've written and come up with a structure that makes sense. Even though the story's not played out yet, could still begin the telling. So be it!

Feel a little bit of release from not doing treatments for a few weeks. Nice to take the break and to see what happens when I'm on my own more. I know it's already making me more aware of what I'm doing, as an observer rather than a doer. Interesting! And so it is!

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Was a cool night and a cool day. Have had the heaters working today. Keeping my core temperature as high as I can, which does seem to offset the tremor. Also did a session under the far infrared lamps, which also helped.

Tech Note: I've been producing a lot of unintentional multiple key strokes when I've been typing. Just set the keyboard controls to slow down the repeats and increase the time before starting a repeat... Duh! Why didn't I think of that sooner? Because I didn't, obviously. Now, much better. Still multi-firing on some keystrokes, but have quieted down on repeats.

Got two calls today from people I've not heard from in a while. GH called and asked for links to this blog and the PDRecovery sites. She wants to pass them along to a friend who has a relative that may have been diagnosed with PD symptoms. Also got a call from my spirit brother, who was encouraging me to start writing about my journey so far. Actually, I had been rereading through some of my earlier entries yesterday and had restarted copying the blog's archives. I'd already copied everything through the end of 2005 into Word files. So today was multiple prompts regarding this blog and what it contains.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm not doing any treatments during December so I can assess what happens without bi-weekly intercessions. Also, want to quietly assess what's been done, where I am (or seem to be), and what's next. There's quite a few issues on the table (where to live, moving?, whether to start gym work, dietary completions, and so on).

I just felt like it was time to stop for a while and try and sort through things before the New Year arrives. If today was any indication, things were up and down--so what's new?

Will make a cup of ginger tea and heat up my core some. Laser work that Rebecca did yesterday seemed to help loosen the tightness in my right arm/shoulder. The effects were masked somewhat by the coolness today--when the coolness kicked the tremor into action. But I think the laser did help some. Ahhh! Technology! What's next?

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Rebecca used the laser device on me today and eased the tightness in my right arm where the tremor takes place... I have to add to what she did by setting up my infrared lamps and beaming my arm and shoulder... Am keeping warm and wearing extra layers--which really helps...

Got my "spit test" results back... Good news and other news... Good news--thyroid indicators are all within normal ranges... DHEA and cortisol correlation still borderline for adrenal fatigue... Still showing H. pylori and Taxoplasma indicators (will order a serum test for the Taxoplasma to see if it's active or just residue of a previous infection)... Dairy, wheat (grains) are still ok... Soy and eggs are still not...

Insulin levels are out of whack (suspect stress-related reactions)... most hormones are low-normal except LH (Luteinizing Hormone) is elevated (not sure what it does)... SIgA is still depressed (has to do with mucosal immune capabilities--I've been taking arbinogalactans to help boost this item)...

The bottom line is that I'll be doing a serum test for Taxoplasma, taking another round of stuff for H. pylori, taking some DHEA to help give me more DHEA and to create the precursors that will boost my hormone levels, and a few other things... She's going to map out what needs to be done and send me the next steps...

All for now... Been a long, but interesting day... and it's getting cool...

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Cold day! Tremor is being activated by chilly weather. Had to crank up the heaters. Tremor seems to respond to warmth--quiets down and isn't as easily triggered. If tremor persists, that means a warmer clime is going to have to be factored into the equations. The question is--will the symptoms ever disappear? Good question! Not a clear answer available.

Last night I browsed through the message board for people in recovery. There was an interesting thread regarding people who have been taking low doses of medications after having done FSR work for some time. I don't want to even think about dealing with the drugs (dosages, side effects, what types to use, and so forth). But it was valuable to hear what people are dealing with after extensive FSR work and what obstacles they've encountered.

All in all, I was encouraged by my progress even though it looks like I'll be dealing with things for some time yet. Cold weather or no cold weather. Also got me to thinking about what I'm going to have to do to bridge myself out into time. My hope is that I'll recover enough so that I can get back to some kind of work--to help bridge me into the future financially. I can not work for a few years, but then things will start piling up. I've not worked now for two years--I've just been coasting thinking that my ship would right itself quickly--which hasn't happened.

Time to put my hands under the far infrared lamps while the rain falls. More later!
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The heat was a treat! Can't be beat! And rain on the street!

Tremor quieted quite a bit, but external coolness continues. Just have to heat up the heaters and wrap up. If I'm chilled, I begin to shake. Even a glass of chocolate milk, which was cool, brought down my core temperature and set off my symptoms. I've also had to back off on drinking a smoothie in the mornings--too cold for comfort.

One thing about this illness--it's wily! As soon as I get a handle on one part or piece, another wrinkle appears--another issue materializes.

I'm relatively quiet right now. I've heated the place and eaten a bite, which is also another regulating factor--eating enough and eating regularly seems to affect my symptoms as well. Can't skip a meal without experiencing consequences.

I had dreams last night but lost them as I arose. There was a good sense surrounding what I dreamed, but just lost the contents. Tomorrow I head over to SC to work with Rebecca. Should have my spit test results to review. Will be interesting to see those results. Onward!

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Watched the day closely. It went by slowly. Nine hours since I arose, did my Qigong, had breakfast, went for a walk, and then mushed through until now. Spent a couple of hours talking with L. We met at the Prolific Oven. I had a tea and pastry. Delicious apple strudel!

Came back and did life force exercises, then nodded off for a short spell. Just had a bite to eat. Heater is keeping the place toasty. It wasn't as cold today as yesterday.

Had dreams but don't recall them now. It was something pleasant, but the details have vanished.

L suggested that I should write a children's book. I should write something beyond this daily repeat that I seem to be looping through each day. But I only have so much bandwidth, or so it seems. I write a blob each day and I don't seem to be able to go beyond my paltry reporting. No big insights; no incredible breakthroughs. Coming up on 10 months that I've been here doing just about the same things over and over. Waiting for Godot!

I get bursts of ideas (like moving to a warmer place), but end up letting it fade away under the pressure of the total amount of energy I can muster and imagine bringing forth to actually do something. I keep wishing that I could just snap my fingers and be in a new place, but that isn't going to ever happen. When will I have enough energy to take action? That is the question! And the universe contains the answer, but is not revealing it at present.

So many questions and not so many answers--that seems to be the path for now! And it is so!

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Timeless! Becoming timeless! Minutes, hours, and days slip by, leaving no marks, no trace.

Today flowed by in just such a manner--quickly, surely, mysteriously. I awoke not too cold. Managed to wrap myself well last night and conserve body heat. But the coolness was there and took some time to overcome. I ate a lot today. Fueling up for the winter season. But, time shoots by with little to mark its passing.

Exercise, eat, walk! Then off to do laundry and shop. Return and suddenly it's nearly 5pm and growing dark. Symptoms quieted in the afternoon. Had my small heater churning away and that seems to help. Checked the space heater--it works and is ready to go, if needed.

With the cold weather, I seem to be slowing down. Mentally and physically slower so it seems. Is there any way out of this spiral?

I dreamed last night, but am not sure I recall the dreams. I seem to remember one involving the creation of toys. I was back working with JH on a toy design project. We were creating something really unique, or so we imagined--or so I dreamed. It was a fun challenging project and I relied on JH to direct the effort--I just contributed as needed. That's all I can recall.

Going to have to live someplace warm. Not going to be able to take cold weather any more. Unless the symptoms totally subside and disappear, cold weather amplifies them, makes them really noticeable (to me). Managed, with a lot of help, to rein in the symptoms today, but it was an effort. Would rather live in a hot climate than have to deal with amplified symptoms.

Learn something new every day! Seems that way! Time to pray! What can I say?

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Thanksgiving Day! Lots to be thankful for. Thankful that I'm alive and restoring my health and vitality. Thankful that my children and their children are healthy and whole. Thankful for the breakthroughs that I've experienced. A litany of blessings! A feast of life!

Today is a starkly clear day. Sky the color of liquid blue. Not a cloud anywhere. People out walking, enjoying the cool, clear air. Enjoying the illumination, the light, and the clarity of everything.

I awoke somewhat late. Arose eventually and went for my walk. It was brisk outside and still is despite the shining sun. I look forward to doing a session under the lamp--to warm up my hands.

I know I dreamed last night, but lose the details now. So be it! Dreamless on Turkey Day! What can I say? Will post more later as the day unfolds.
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Day is unfolding into a cold night. Temperatures will be in the mid to low 30's tonight. Will have to break out an extra blanket. Looking like cold nights (and not really warmer days) for the next few weeks. Just have to bundle up. Not a lot of rain mixed in with the coolness, thank goodness.

Time is moving by in odd rhythms--sometimes fast and sometimes slow and sometime both at once. Got up today around 9am. It's now 5:30pm. I've been up and about for 8.5 hours. Seems like it's been much longer than that at one level--like it's been forever since I awoke. At the same time, it seems like big chunks of the day were consumed seemingly in an instant. I cooked some rice and ate a dish of lentil stew around 3pm. Then, I sat under the lamp and did life force exercises and suddenly it's 5:30pm! Where did those 2.5 hours go?

On a macro scale, how did I get to be 67? It was like yesterday that I was 60. And soon enough I'll be 70! How can that be? It's been 43 years since Kennedy was assassinated. I was 24. Where did those 40 odd years go? What did I accomplish? What can I hope to do in the time I have remaining? How much time is that? And meanwhile, I dance with symptoms and recovery, working to become clear enough to do something, anything, beyond just dance around each day.

So into the cold, cold night tonight! Stars burning, big and bright! I wish I may, I wish I might! Have the wish I wish tonight! Alright!

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Interesting dream last night. I was in an area that had hiking trails, climbing locations, and some snow-related sites. I was with a childhood friend (who kept changing into a friend I knew back in the 70's-80's'--they would just morph one into the other as events unfolded). We started out at a cafe that was near a lake. I had wanted to see some of the area and he suggested that we ride his motorcycle to start with. We climbed aboard his cycle and went careening off through the area. For most of the ride, we took small alternate routes that paralleled some of the main roads, but were only single trail routes for cycles or hikers.

We rode for quite a while, following the lakes on one side and main roads on the other. We came to a parking area and began to hike up a route that would take us to the edge of the snow fields and give us a view of the gorge. We climbed higher and higher and came to the edge of the snow fields. People had constructed shelters there that were open and spacious. Inside the shelters, everything was neatly arranged and organized. To signal that a place was taken, the residents had laid out their gear and clothing near the doorways of each place.

We walked past the shelters and came up on a ridge and steep drop-off into a gorge. The colors were orange and red and were magnificent. We stepped close to the drop-off. There was a section near the edge that was covered in small, shiny black pebbles. My friend seemed to indicate that we had to be careful walking on those spots. There was danger of the ground giving way in those places.

We took in the views and then hiked down a steep trail that brought us to a camping area. There were some cabins there and I realized that it was where I had set up my camping spot. We entered the camp ground and he said goodbye and went to retrieve his cycle. I went to my camp site and fell asleep.

The dream was sharp and clear, and the colors were amazing.
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Awoke a bit later than normal. Just wanted to keep wrapped up and warm, but finally managed to get up. Did exercises and ate breakfast, then went for walk. Did loop that takes me by the donut shop. Picked up a sticky bun and returned to the apartment. There was some activity on the gas line project, but it was that loud or intrusive. Set up lamps and treated my hands. Felt good. My left hand is better today--perhaps a combo of the laser and heat sessions that I've had.

Shaved and showered, and did the life force exercises. Met L for a great dinner (Afghan vege plate). Symptoms have been on/off all day--cold weather has an effect so I've been trying to stay warm. They also get quiet after meals. Like now--I'm warm, fed and symptom-free (could be a song).

Feels like an early bed time tonight. Didn't really rest/nap today although was nodding some during the heat treatments. Supposed to rain late tonight. Sunny in the morrow--Thanksgiving Day! Spare the bird and spoil the dinner! Thank goodness!

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In session with Janice yesterday, she needled me, worked with me on envisioning images that helped quiet the tremor, talked about Yogananda, related some stories of clients who had difficulty working with the spiritual side of things during recovery, and a lot more. She affirmed my progress and applauded my statements about the past few weeks and what I'd been experiencing.

I told Chris today that I was taking a break from treatments during December and would start back in January--probably around the 15th, the "anniversary" of my work with the team. Today, I've felt good! I ate a big lunch and rested/slept some. The construction project is still underway outside so there's a fair amount of incidental noise. I did my morning exercises and did my walk. The walk went by so quickly, it's almost like I didn't do one. Went to the post office and grocery store. About to sit under the infrared lamps for a while and then do life force exercises.

Have created an electronic "God Box" where I'm storing things I want the Source to take care of. I put requests in the "box" and then can let them go--knowing that they are being handled. The idea came from Rebecca whose mother has an actual box that she uses in the same way.

Rebecca laser-lighted my left hand yesterday and it seems to be somewhat better today--looser and less tight-feeling. Will continue with the infrared treatments though since the laser is not something that's always available.

Thanksgiving approaches! Nothing special planned--except my regular rituals. Will give the turkeys a break!

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Good session with Janice today, but made for a long day. Especially after I stopped by Rebecca's office for a laser treatment on my hand. But all in all, it was a good day.

Will post more details in the morrow. Need to get horizontal soon. Getting sleepy--missed my rest/nap time even though I was on the table at Janice's. Got energized there--not rested. Oh, well! Another day, another insight! Sleepytime!

5665

Hazy, lazy day! Didn't rest/sleep today, but not sure what I accomplished. Did make it to the library and picked up a collection of books with stories.

Heading over the hill in the morrow for a treatment with Janice and a laser machine treatment with Rebecca. R is going to laser my left hand, the one that's been twingy of late.

Appears that the landlord has some sort of major project on his hands. They cut out the concrete yesterday to expose some pipes. Believe they are gas lines to the apartments in the rear. I don't know the exact problem, but the contractor will be back tomorrow to finish the job. Don't know if there will be a service interruption. If so, hope it happens while I'm on the road.

Continue to experience rather mild symptoms. Found myself noticing that I was "normal" today--clear and symptom free (or symptom light). Noticed that I couldn't seem to push beyond just feeling clear--couldn't translate that feeling into action--but know that I'll be able to do so at some point. Nice to be clear though! Wonderful it is!

Feeling a bit draggy since I didn't rest/nap today. May cut to bed early tonight. Have to be up and out tomorrow fairly early (for me). Digestion continues to hold steady. Stuff I ate yesterday pushed the envelope somewhat, but I made it through. I ate a bit less today to help even things up. Fun and games!

Thanksgiving approaches! Turkey on the weigh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Dream last night that I was fishing. Was standing on the edge of a lake or stream. There was a young kid there with me. I was showing him how to bait the hooks and where to drop his line into the places there might be fish. We kept catching some odd, furry creatures that looked like hampsters or such. We just released them and kept on fishing. For bait, we were using something like black beans. Strange fishing dream! I was both the man and the boy--just at different ages. As the man, I was somewhat like my Uncle Louis, who had taught me to fish when I was a kid like the one in the dream.

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Dream last night involved a list of people's names and ID numbers. I was asked to do something with the list, searching through it and extracting additional information about certain people. Their ID numbers were the key to finding additional data. There was some trick or technique that had to be used to parse the ID number, which then revealed the extended data items.

The guy who owned the list was a Santa Claus type--very friendly and cheerful. Had a twinkle in his eye.

Still riding in a healing bubble. Resting and sleeping, but tremor is really quiet. Seems to activate right before I eat something--as if my hunger is triggering the symptom. It subsides once I eat and when I meditate on being close to my guide. Sleep also seems to help except that I awake with the shaking--again a signal that I need to eat something. Whatever the causes/reasons, it has been a blessing to have been so quiet for so long a time! May it continue!

Read a book of stories by the author of Mystic River. He can certainly put together some tense scenes. His collection is called Coronado. How does the human mind come up with such strange tales and characters? Scary to imagine that he's met people like those in the stories.

Been a noisy day! Workmen spent the day tearing up some concrete next to the building. That and a lot of activity with the neighbors and church down the street made for noise galore. I still managed to sleep through it this afternoon. There was also some incident on El Camino that caused the police to block the street for several blocks. Made a massive traffic problem as people were routed off into side streets.

Starting to quiet down as evening arrives. Expect the neighbors to return late and loudly. They left in a huge stretch limo--probably for a wedding--or so it seemed. Days flow together. Time hurtles by! Meteor showers tonight! May the stars fall in sparkling arrays! So be it!

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Dream last night about joining a project team. There was a half dozen new hires and a project team leader. I was given a task that involved a packet of papers. I was to look at the papers when I reached my desk. We were meeting in the TL's office for an orientation. None of the new hires, including myself, was outspoken. We all sat back and listened to the TL and checking each other out. It wasn't clear what our task was, exactly. I knew I had the packet of papers, but didn't know what the others were supposed to be doing. There was some activity around getting rooms since we were staying overnight in the building. At one point, I thought I had left the packet of papers somewhere, but I found them stuffed in a coat pocket. The dream was nearly colorless; lots of b/w images. Everything was spartan and sterile looking. The TL was monotone and not very passionate about what we were doing. I kept wondering why I was there. It was a job, but it wasn't clear that it was going to be very exciting or interesting. There was just the mystery of the papers I had been given.

Gray day! Not too cold though, which was good. Had to push myself out the door for my walk. Really wanted to just hole up and sleep. Did eventually take a short rest/nap in the midafternoon. Ate rather steadily throughout the day. Symptoms mostly quiet. Feeling good overall, but just a bit buzzy and tired-like.

It's not even 5:30, but it's already dark out. It's cloudy and looks like rain, but none forecast. Still need to do my Life Force exercises. Thinking about doing them later before bed. Like I say, I can't get up a lot of energy behind doing much of anything--go with the flow! Let it be so!

5668

Dreams galore last night! A number of really detailed dream segments. Two stuck. One had to do with rock climbing. A group of us were getting ready to hike off into an area that was known for its climbing routes. We were at a base camp saying goodbye to a bunch of family members and friends who were staying in camp. I recall talking to a woman who had recognized me even though I had lost a lot of weight. She affirmed how healthy I looked and wished me luck on the climbing routes.

A second spectacular dream segment dealt with a movie theater/amusement ride. We went in and sat down in some empty seats. The seating was arranged as it would be on a roller coaster track. After nearly everyone was seated, the seats started moving. They zipped up and around the place, moving in big sweeps and rises and falls. Eventually, the seats came to rest in front of individualized monitors where the movie was to be played. The entire seat moving action at the beginning was wild and crazy. There were times when the seats were in motion and people were still walking around finding empty seats. It was not clear how no one was hit by a moving seat, but they weren't. Wild ride!

Had a relatively quiet day. Did my laundry and then went for a walk. Was tiring and I had to rest/sleep some. Got up midafternoon and sat under the heat lamp and asked for another round of stillness. Got it, again! Went fairly quiet in terms of tremor and such. Went to dinner with L. I remained quiet through dinner. I was a little anxious, but nothing major. Am still quite symptom-free now. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Didn't make any headway on doing something about my "camp site" situation, but it will happen. One breath at a time! No need to get too far out in the future. Stay close to the "now" and see what's happening. Feels good! I'm feeling good! And so it is!

Did the life force exercises in the late afternoon. Picked up my energy levels while I became more and more still. Oh, yeah!

5669

Dreamed last night that I was in an apartment. I was hanging out waiting for someone to return. While I waited, I poked around in the various rooms. Place was dark and cluttered. There were rooms with stuff thrown everywhere. Not unlike my current place. It was obvious that the place needed some attention and care. Not unlike my current place.

In another part of the dream, I was helping a woman fill out some forms that were on the computer. I kept telling her that she should go to the local Radio Shack. I thought that something she needed would be there in the RS store.

There were other parts to the dream, but they have gone back into the dream hole.

Had a roller coaster day. Was shaking a lot this morning and early afternoon. Went quiet in the late afternoon and am still in that space. Met with RB, RM, MK, and RS from the men's team. I was relatively quiet the whole evening. Feels so good! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Not sure that it's correlated to anything I did, except that I asked for intervention, please! My prayer was answered. Feels wonderful!

Have been not feeding the demons! Watched how my mind kept jumping around today, mostly into the future. Kept coming back to now! Now! Now! Was good to see the men. It's been a while since we've been together. RB told a great story about his friend finding a son that she had given up for adoption over 30 years ago and discovering that she also has a grandson.

RB asked if he could crash here tonight and I found that I had to say no. I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't have extra blankets and so forth. I'm basically camping out! I need to do something about that, especially if I'm staying here. (Tonight I feel like I could move out without a problem--based on how clear I feel.) Last night's dream foreshadowed all this--the dark and cluttered rooms with things piled and thrown around. Message: clean up where you live! Then maybe I will be able to think clearly--enough to help someone solve their problems. I think some stuff is coming together--finally! May it be so!

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Dreamed last night about going to a cafe. The place was in an old paddlewheel boat. To get in, I had to walk across a log that formed a bridge over a pool of water. I was there with a group of people. Some I knew and some were strangers. There was a long segment of the dream where we were ordering drinks at a bar. The place was in chaos and it didn't seem like anyone was in charge. I wanted a latte, but never got anyone's attention to place the order.

I'd been to this place before in other dreams. I recall the log bridge and its tricky footing.

Not sure if this dream relates in some way to the questions I've been posing. I've been asking for guidance regarding my recovery process--what to do, and so forth. Order a latte? I suppose that is some form of guidance, but not crystal clear as to what it has to do with my recovery. Will keep on asking.

Spent a really quiet day. Did morning rituals and went for a walk while the sun was out. Rested/slept several times. I was in a thoughtful state after yesterday's interactions with Rebecca. Today, I was working with her admonition of not feeding the demons--feeding the guides instead. So, today I was asking for a lot of guidance, support and positive energies. Seems to have moved things in that direction. May it be so.

Used the lamp today on both hands. May do it again tonight before heading for the bed. Seems to be making a difference with my left hand's twinges. Did the Fulford exercises in the late afternoon. They alter my energy levels, definitely. Will make them part of my afternoon rituals.

Looking for the light! Looking for the light! May the stars shine fully! May the stars shine bright!

5671

Had good session with Rebecca. Spent most of the time with me getting advice (support, help) with my attitude issues. I keep slipping into major negative ways of thinking and being. Doing so, of course, starts my doubt machine rolling. I then slide into more negativity and the downward spiral continues.

She suggested that I not "feed the demon(s)." Refuse to give them nourishment and only feed my guides and spiritual helpers. I'm ready to do that! I'm tired of not being happy, joyous, filled with light. It's time for me to do a restart--from scratch--and do what I can do with all I have left.

We did some lymph system work and she put needles in my ears (strange image of me with spiky silver things sticking out of my ears. Rain and fog on way back. I drove through it without too much trouble. Maybe the needles in the ears settled me down.

She also is going to have access to a laser device that facilitates the healing of injuries. I'll get a session next Monday to see how it works.

Have a lot of rethinking that I must do. Will sleep on everything tonight and see what my dreams have to say about everything.

Digestion remains stable. Hate to say it, but it's almost working too well. Making multiple trips per day for bowel movements. Oh, well! My digestive track knows what it's doing. No need to feed the demon(s). May it be so!

5672

The cranio-sacral lady now lives in CO. Too bad! I'm disappointed in not being able to work with her. She has some form of remote biofeedback process that I'll try. She said she's do a free session, but I'm not sure what can be done that way. But, who knows?

She also gave me the name of an associate who's in the area. She seems to have a lot of the same background as Reiko with some occupational therapy as well. Will sleep on it and see what my dreams tell me about that option.

Cold weather today! And my energy was all over the place. Couldn't settle down. Mind chatter getting noisier. Have session (lymph system) with Rebecca tomorrow. Feeling a lot of things pulling on me. Reading more of the Orloff book, Intuitive Healing. Section last night was all about death and how to hold that event in perspective, especially while dealing with an illness. Got my attention! Have some things to do before I go!

Used heat lamps on my hands again today. Seems to help. Using the computer may not be helping. Battery charger is directly underneath my left palm. I can feel the heat beaming up from that location. May be a reason the injury persists.

Rain forecast for tonight and tomorrow. Will make driving to SC more interesting. Did Fulford exercises earlier this afternoon. They do seem to lift my energy levels. Simple set of eight not-too-strenuous stretches and movements. It's the simple things in life!

Napped/rested this afternoon. Felt good to do so. Helped quiet me down some, mentally and physically. Ah, the sleep that knits up the raveled sleeve of care! Dreams may come! Let it be so!

5673

Couldn't figure out if today was Friday or Saturday. Lost a beat somewhere along the way and the days have gotten mushed together. Except for my morning walk, I didn't venture out today. Did my morning rituals, walked and stopped at the donut shop for a sticky bun, put my hands under the far infrared lamp, ate several times, did the Fulford exercises (seem to pick up my energy level), and napped once around midday. Early now, but already dark.

Feeling like I've got energy, but no place for it to go. Good to be feeling the energy; now have to start looking where I can direct it. Feeling a bit lost! Like I've been wandering in the woods and have stepped onto a road, but don't know which way to go. Also, wanting to wait some to see how reliable (consistent, dependable) this energy might be. It's been building. Feels somewhat strange to have enough so that I can begin to imagine where I can go with it all. A new condition!

Waiting for a return call from cranio-sacral lady. Did a bit more research on locating an osteopath--not much luck in that department. Most have jumped on the craniopathy bandwagon and don't do manual adjustments anymore. Have the names of two people who are close by. Will contact them next week, but don't have a lot of hope of finding someone. Will go with the cranio-sacral lady since she does what most osteopaths seem to do, but is also a healer.

The far infrared lamp feels great. The lamp itself is not perfectly designed--it tips over if I try and extend both lamp heads. Can only extend one lamp at a time very far away from the base. It works, but it means I have to do two separate sessions to day heat both hands. But, it feels great and it seems to be helping my left hand (the one that has a twinge)! May it be so!

Read more into the Orloff book. Lots of good stuff! However, almost too much stuff. Difficult keeping it all in play. But, definitely worth the read.

Sent a note to the men's team about a possible meet next Wednesday. Been a while since we gathered. Be good to see those that can make it. I'm scheduled to be in SC on Monday for a follow up on the lymph work. The Fulford book talks about the importance of that system in the healing process. So, it's here right on cue!

What am I supposed to do? What is my purpose? Still the same questions. I'm not satisfied with what I've done so far. There has to be more with more meaning! Let my dreams send me guidance. I dreamed last night, but lost them in the transitions. May I recall them tonight and may they hold answers to my questions. So be it!

5675-5674

Skipped a day in the postings. Just didn't feel like writing anything last night, so I didn't. Yesterday was a fairly good day. Sent off my saliva samples for the array of tests that will be done. Picked up my far infrared lamp and got it assembled. Instruction booklet was written in Chinglish--a mush of Chinese and English, sort of. Not exactly clear statements of what was going on, but I did it, I hope.

Last night, I did the set of exercises in the Fulford book (about osteopathy). They seemed to kick loose a burst of energy. When I went to dinner, I was really hungry and went into a mild state of bliss as I ate. The food tasted so good and my appetite was there prompting me to eat. Nice!

Got cool last night and I had to bundle up. Awoke today feeling still somewhat energized. Used the lamp to irradiate/heat my hands--especially my left hand that's twinging quite a bit. Seemed to help some, but still getting pain in that hand throughout the day.

Working on asking it what it wants; what it needs. Not getting clear responses, so continue to bombard it with light and energy. Will do another lamp session in the morrow. Did get a glimmer that it was karmic--a replay of an old injury. Persistent, whatever it is!

Phoned the cranio-sacral lady to set up appointments in December. Didn't find an osteopath close by who does manual work. Found some who do crainiopathy! Light touch osteopathy, apparently.

Days are zooming by, or so it seems! Soon be Thanksgiving! And beyond! Hoping that I experience a breakthrough in the next few weeks. Let it be so!

5676

It was a great day for the Democrats... The people speak!

Today was my sit and spit day. Took multiple saliva samples throughout the day. Wasn't as onerous as the first time even though the day was similar in many ways. Friend P dropped by for a visit. She was here during the first spit-a-thon. Had to eat a special menu for lunch that required extra work to prepare what was needed. Ate a meal rich in complex carbohydrates right before taking the noon sample. This was done to make cause a insulin/glucose spike around the time the sample was being taken.

Had dinner with friend PG. Haven't seen him in a while. He's as wacky as ever, but a bit softer since he's now finished radiation treatment for prostate cancer. He's having some problems with proctitis (inflammation of the colon caused by the radiation). I sent him a link that talks about a successful intervention for people with proctitis using acupuncture. Beats using cauterization procedures, I would think.

Got cool tonight. Winter is a'comin' in. Doesn't help make my symptoms better; makes them amplify--although right now they're quiet and it's cool.

Have one more spit sample to do--the midnight one. Can take it in a couple of hours. Will read until then. Was good to have dinner with PG. I felt good sitting and talking with him even though it was late (for me) and lengthy (also for me). Tremor came and went during the time I was with him, but was relatively quiet. Didn't feel a lot of inner pressure.

Felt good to wear gloves, especially on my left hand--which is still creaky and feeling twingey. The warmth of the wool gloves was nice. Hmmmm! I might try wearing it while inside and see what happens. Might help it restore. There! I put it on. A bit clumsy at the keyboard, but feels good. (My far infrared lamp arrives tomorrow! Looking forward to treating my hand to some healing heat.)

PG was pushing me to do more physically. I could feel myself get resistant. I need to open myself more to various options. I feel like my knee jerk resistant reaction may not be how I might best respond. More open--be more open. Listen more attentively. And so it is!

5677

Had a good session in SC today. Made it over and back with not too much of a strain. Tomorrow is "spit test" time again. Sit and spit!

Election results are unfolding. Clearly a vote against the "regime." Probably not going to flip the senate, but it was close. We'll see how the pundits turn it into a "victory." Oh, yeah!

Laura worked on my arm tremor and my left hand. She helped a lot. As she pointed out at the end, it was me who was doing the energy work--she was just there as a support. I can do this on my own and I have to do so. It's either that or win the lottery so I can get a treatment every day.

Ready to get horizontal now. Missed taking a nap today (did spend time on the table). My body is crying for horizontalness. And so it is!

Dreamed last night, but let it slip away. Will put more attention on capturing my dreams. They are messages from my soul.

5678

Auspicious posting! All in a row--5678! Hmmm!

Elections tomorrow. May there be some refreshing changes. Out with the old guard! In with the old guard, too! But a better flavor of old guard, perhaps. Let the people speak!

I'm reading Judith Orloff's book Intuitive Healing. Sets up a simple 5-step checklist for daily actions that foster the use/development of intuition. I intuitively picked this book among many. And of course, there's a connection--her father had PD late in his life. So, she's already used him in a couple of examples. Interesting co-ink-i-dink.

Information in book, so far, has been helpful and of interest. She talks about using intuition to help pinpoint energy flows that might create an illness. She advocates the use of dreams as well as inner guidance.

I had a dream last night, but it's slipped away now. Something about a house, I think, and some polished wooden floors. It will resurface if it's something I need to see and hear.

Took some rest today. Feeling tired after the morning's rituals. Also stressing some over the next few days--elections, treatment in SC tomorrow, saliva test, and a few other things. Also was trying to notice my state of being throughout the day (as per Orloff's book). As I would expect, I'm all over the map. A sort of pattern, but generally just juiced out, especially once I'm past the morning energy bubble.

Look forward to treatment session in the morrow! And great election results!

5679

Made it to the library today. Picked up a pile of books that deal with healing, intuition and touch-related/energy-related topics. There were plenty of titles to choose from. Lots of information on the subjects.

Didn't rest/nap today. Might have done so, but L called and we met for dessert and coffee/tea. Feeling a bit tired right now. Will get horizontal early tonight and read myself to sleep.

Walked the longer route this morning. Can do so without sensing any strain. Nice!

Told L about my decision to set up some cranio-sacral sessions with Reiko. She agreed that it sounded like something I should pursue. But, first things first--I've got two more sessions with the PDTeam, two sessions with Rebecca for lymph work, and a saliva test that I need to complete and send off for evaluation. Plenty to do in the short run.

And there's election day! Should be an interesting week. May it be so!

5680

The first principle of Reiki--don't worry! Seems reasonable! Been exploring Reiki sites, healing sites, and healing books. Have this crazy thought about me becoming a healer. The thought came out of the illness and something MO said to me. She pointed out that I had become attuned as a result of the illness and that I might be able to use that attunement to explore my states of intention.

From that, I've made a leap to asking the question of might I not want to explore healing as both a client and as a practitioner. Interesting idea! On my next trip to the library, I'll pick up some books on healing and healers. It's the first thought that I've had about my future that has any juice around it. Healing so that I may heal others! It's the best thought I've had in months. It makes sense in way--as much sense as anything else that's materialized.

I signed up for a Reiki e-publication that covers some basic concepts and information. It caught my eye because it mentioned lymph drainage--for some still mysterious reason. It will unfold! Don't worry!

I continue to feel the need once again to rest and sleep. So, I'm following the dictates of the moment. Digestion continues to function normally. I'm free to eat just about anything. The test will be trying a pizza. Haven't made that attempt yet, but may do so at some point. Don't worry!

My far infrared lamp draws near. It's on a truck that is making it's way across the country. From Florida to California, across the USA! Weather has been mild the past few days. Balmy! What will the morrow bring? Don't worry! Ok!

5681

My far infrared lamp is getting nearer. It was shipped yesterday and is making its way across the country via UPS. Due to arrive next week (AE--after elections).

Rested and slept some today. I feel good after taking the rests and sleeping some. Can't argue with good outcomes.

I've been thinking about getting some work done with and intuitive healer. It's been on my mind since I read the Afterwards book. Bumped into MO last weekend and that helped fuel the thoughts. Today, I was thinking of Reiko, the person who did some cranio-sacral work on me
last year. She had really great healing hands.

After some searching, I found her web site. She's based in Palo Alto and CO. But more importantly, she's been putting together a healing system that involves touch, cranio-sacral work, and spiritual elements. She's been working with Rosalyn Bruere (one of the healers in the Afterwards book) and perfecting her own practice. I'm excited!

I'll be contacting her to schedule some sessions, probably in December when I cut back on the SC treatments for a while. Time to make some adjustments in what I'm doing--put more attention on the emotional/spiritual versus the mental/physical.

This week I've put more focus on asking for intercession and working with calling upon Source for immediate intervention. Results have been positive. And the rediscovery of Reiko puts a star on the week. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

She has a series of classes to train people in what she does. I would love to take those classes if that's something I could do. Just a thought! We'll see how things evolve.

5682

Rainy day, sleepy day! Slept the afternoon away. Was really tired after lunch and ended up sleeping the entire afternoon. Got up and ate along the way, but mostly rested or napped out.

Picked up my 10 pounds of Medicare booklets. Looked through them tonight. What an incredible pile of information. Looks like they'd send this stuff on a CD. Medicare costs are going up, of course! About $15 per month. My supplemental policy is only going up $1 per month. That's amazing!

My far-infrared lamp is on its way! Got a notice that it was shipped out today. It's in a 40 pound box. Will arrive next week.

Noticed in my health care supplement policy that they cover a membership in a health club. Have to look into what that entails. Sounds of a soft rain tonight. Whispers of water in the air.

Dreamed last night about creating a video of a new product idea. I was working with a small team of people and we were working late making the final tweaks to the video. We had used the video to simulate the product interface. We were working in a house that was quite large. Not sure who owned the house, but we had taken it over for the night. There were two people that I was working with and a teen-aged boy who lived in the house. He was in another room watching movies. The dream was very detailed and the place seemed very real. I was reluctant to awaken. I wanted to stay in the dream.

5683

Slow day! Heavy day! Perhaps a combo of time change, lymph drainage, Mercury in retrograde, low pressure system, and anything else that can be thrown into the pot. Around 2pm I had to get horizontal and get some rest and a brief nap. That helped! Maybe Halloween was a stressor.

Anyway, I'm quiet now.

I ordered a far-infrared lamp today. One of the dual head versions. Got a link from Rebecca to a place that sells them for a really good price. Free shipping! What a deal! Look forward to having it arrive and be put in service.

Rain started tonight. Actually warmed up some with its arrival. Rain is needed.

Didn't get any trick/treaters last night. Oh, well! Guess I'll have to eat the excess candy--all 2 pounds of it! Hmmm!

Digestion still holding steady. Have enough arabinogalactans for a while. I think I've got 9 ounces. That's about a 4 month supply, I believe. Whatever works!

When things got too intense today (and yesterday), I asked for intercession and got relief from the anxiety/tension. Good to know that asking for help works. Nice to get the support.

Reading a book call Snake Catcher. It's a set of short stories that were written in Urdu and have been translated. They bring to mind Murakami--they have some similar qualities. Very unusual settings and culture, but wonderful reading. Time to read!