1588

Chaos on the home front--just was told that my daughter and BH are talking divorce. Apparently, she was drinking over the weekend--and continued today even though she went to work.

The news that they are even talking about such a move--leaves me feeling like I just got hit by a truck.

And there's the two kids in the middle--or worse. Crap--why does it have to be so difficult?

1594-1589

Huh??! Where go the days? Almost a week has rolled by--and I didn't post anything over this time period.  I did some RSB--and some dancing. But I also did some spacing out it seems--since I can't seem to recall but a few specifics for that period.

MD fell one day over the past week--and that triggered a slurry of worry. We rearranged her room--to make it less cluttered and easier to navigate. She let us make all the changes--and then said she wanted everything put back in its previous positions. We did that--and she's happy but her room is now less navigable and more likely to help her have an accident. She fell on her backside--on the right buttock. She doesn't recall how she fell--or what actually happened. She's having trouble walking--and being very unstable when she is moving about. She topples herself into the various chairs she uses--dinner table, living room, office, toilet, and around her bedroom. He office chair is the only one that is really easy for her to use--because it swivels so she can sit and then turn to face the desk. The dinner table chair is the worst--she has to topple into the chair to avoid the arms and with a sore buttock, from the fall, she feels the soreness each time she sits there.

I saw the R&C doctor on Thursday--after spending the whole morning doing two enemas that I ended up not needing to take. He confirmed what the other doctors have been saying--that I should have the operation to remove the large growth in my colon. We decided to go ahead with the surgery--it is scheduled late in June and will require a stay in the hospital of a few days. The surgery will be done using a laparoscopic device--which should minimize the size of the surgical incisions and the recovery time for the procedure.

• I've begun taking glass of water with baking soda in the mornings--to change the alkalinity of my system. Supposed to be instrumental in helping the metabolic system do a better job of  fixing the immune system--and reducing all manner of illness and imbalance. So far so good--I seem to be more awake throughout the day in the two days I've taken the remedy. 

1598-1595

Went to PD support group today--and dropped off the forms for the doctor that I'll see on Thursday. I put together a package of forms they require--and copies of the PET Scan and colonoscopy results that we will discuss on Thursday. It took me a couple of days to pull it all together--but I did a good job and have the data we'll need to make a decision.

The receptionist looked alarmed when I went to her window--like I was somehow a threat or such. I don't know if the person I saw today was the person I spoke with on the phone--if she was the same she has a better phone personality versus the person I met today.

I missed not doing RSB today--will make it to class tomorrow. But I'll likely miss going on Thursday--I have the appointment at 1pm and it won't work for me to go to RSB that morning.

I have to give myself two enemas on Thursday morning--that should be a fun time. They show a diagram of how to go about it on your own--but I suspect it's not as easy as they depict. I'll need to be careful how much (and what) I eat tomorrow (Tues)--and shoot for a liquid diet on Wednesday.

1599

Feeling funky--went to RSB this morning. Felt alright during class--but came home and have been coasting along and not getting much done. Napped some--and read some (SF stories and online articles). Also cleared up the problems with Netflix and Chase accounts--they both had out of date profile entries which stopped the sign in procedures.

When I awoke this morning--noticed that the oven was turned on. It had either been on all night--or someone left it on when they did breakfast this morning.

MD had set off the fire alarm on Wednesday--when she pan-broiled some roast beef and smoked up the kitchen.

I had a set of dreams over the past few evenings--that were very real-like and very strange. Last night's dreaming had me visiting an odd collection of people--who lived on a planet that was dark and very damp. The people who lived there talked with a strange accent or annunciation--the tone was belligerent and I felt threatened throughout the entire dream. I was there to sell some technology to them--some powerful military good that would give them the resources to badger and attack other peoples. The key person that I was talking with kept saying things about me--which caused all the others in the vicinity to laugh and make more comments.

I was feeling quite angry--and also fearful that they would attempt to harm me in some way. It felt good to awaken from the dream--and let it all drop back into the void.

1607-1600

Had a mega skip in posting--8 days since I made last entry. I've been  dealing with getting into see an R&C specialist--I'm scheduled to see one next week. The session involves an examination--centered around the colonoscopy results that were reported from the one that was done by the GI people.

I'm not looking forward to the exam--and the recommendations that will most likely be made.

I'm having some difficulty moving smoothly--my hips and lower back feel like they are locked up. I'm having problems moving well in dance class--and feeling tight and stiff after the RSB sessions.

This morning I volunteered to watch my grandson while his dad went for a haircut--it went well but I'm glad that it wasn't longer. He is a tough one to keep engaged--he bores easily and wants a lot of new input even when he focuses on older activities.

Well, I don't know what happened to the past few days--I think I slept well over those days and nights. May that be so for the days to come--may that be so.

1608

Did RSP this morning--despite sense of being off kilter before awakening and getting up. I just felt like I was out of phase with everything--like I was only partly here even though I was driving, eating, and so on.

RSP felt good when it was done--and I stopped by the juice bar and the grocery store on the way home. I bought a pile of fruits--loading up on the antioxidants by getting the foods with highest doses. I napped after lunch--and shave and showered before heading to a Trager session. The body worker focused on my foot--which had puffed up some after doing RSB.

Had dinner with son-in-law and family tonight--he spent the day in bed since he came down with something he picked up over the weekend. Grandson slept away most of the day--he got off track yesterday and his body/spirit seemed to relish the down time.

Will most likely dance tomorrow--and begin to pull together the medical notes I need to have when I see the R&C person later this month.

MD is busy combing through her accumulations--making room for her daughter (my ex) who will soon be camping here when she puts her house on the market. BH may not have heard of these plans--I don't think he's happy about the idea for some reasons. Actually will be good for MD--she could use some help and interaction on a daily basis and not just the days her caregiver is here. Caregiver is also going to be away for a big chunk of time next month--and there will be a need for more helping MD during that time.

1610-1609

Skipped RSB on Saturday--left foot was swollen and aching. Kept it elevated--and soaked it in epsom salt water and put some hot/cold patches on it. Foot felt better on Sunday--and was healed enough to go to RSB today. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to do RSB today--but it went well. Will patch it up this afternoon/tonight--and get it ready for the RSB and Trager sessions tomorrow.

Stopped on the way back from RSB today--and picked up a drink from the Nectar Juice Bar (a turmeric concoction that I believe helped lift my energy levels when I had one last week). Will see if it does do that this time around--the place has nothing but good tasting juices, smoothies, and yogurt bowls all made from fresh, natural ingredients.

My big task for the coming week--pull together my medical records for my meeting with the C&R specialist. I'm hoping that this is my last medical adventure--that whatever is going on will be over and done with and I can focus more on my health and some fun activities.

Learned, yesterday, an odd rule that BH put forward regarding an activity I was doing with the grandson--that we don't make bubbles in the house. That bubbles can only be made outside--for specious reasons that have to do with messing up the carpets and so on. There is no way that even a bubble water spill will cause much of a problem wit the carpets--but I didn't push it and just put the bubbles away. BH has a lot of rules and such that he recites to the grandson--they have quite a lot of confrontation over such pronouncements. But the child is his--to mould in whatever way he thinks appropriate. For now, I'm just enjoying playing and learning with the grandson--he has a rich personality and is joy to be around.

1615-1611

It's been several days since I posted anything--I went into a spin after meeting with the oncologist. I heard from him what I didn't want to hear--that even those the polyp in the area of the cecum is benign it still should be removed. That means seeing another specialist--and going through an exam and probably some form of surgery. I went to dance on Wednesday--and seemed to irritate my left foot. It had been trying to swell up--and the dancing on Wednesday and RSB on Thursday really set it off.

I worked on getting it back in shape--and went to dance class on Friday. But that caused it too swell back up--and I ended up having to elevate it and put some hot/cold pads on the foot. I decided not to go to today's RSB class--and have been horizontal with my foot elevated, patched, and wrapped in a wool shawl. It seems to be helping--I'll probably have to keep on working with it over the weekend.

I just had a bite to eat and downed a V8 Fusion--and napped for a while. I heard BH tell MD that there were bees swarming around the outside of the house--and to not go outside while the swarming was happening. Of course, the first thing she does is go to the door and open it--thank goodness no bees were present. We don't need house full of bees--even though they are supposed to be less aggressive when they are searching for a new home.

JS will be return today--from the make-a-wish trek that she made with her friend who has a brain tumor. They spent a week at the Disneyland and other venues--with all kinds of special treats and expeditions.

There is a social dance tomorrow--but I'll probably have to not go if my foot isn't better.

I have host of things to gather to get ready for the talk with the C&R specialist--they have a whole intake prep that has to be put together in order to have the initial meeting. Here we go again--up the rosy road again.

1616

Day after all fool's day--and the RSB was intense today.

Just stopped to do some techno things--which I managed to get done in a reasonable amount of time. I'm considering that the turmeric drink that I had yesterday is doing something to my synapses--I'm feeling awake, alert--and able to get things done. I noticed that the nectar juice place offers a turmeric smoothie--I'll have to give it a try.

As I noted, RSB was intense--the new coach cut her teeth on today's class--which is one of the biggest groups at the gym. The coach is an unlikely looking kick boxer and semi-pro football player--plus several other trainings and skills--she looks too tiny and small to be in the ring or on the field.

The coaches have been streamlining the RSB activities and class-to-class workouts--what they've come up with is a number of 2-minute routines that we move through driven by the clock. If there are 22 people in the class--then they set up 11 2-minute activities. The class moves through each activity until every person has completed the circuit of 11--and sometimes the class moves through the circuit twice. The result is a tough workout--with only minimal downtime between each activity.

Today, we also did a lengthy plank exercise--holding three planks for a count of 100 each. I had already worked up to doing a couple of 2 minute planks--but this variation felt somehow more possible than say doing two 2 minute ones.

I called the doctor who did the colonoscopy--and prompted his medical assistant regarding the biopsy results findings. She said that a notice had been sent to my PCP--to ask for a specialist who can do surgery to remove the large growth. I think she said that all of the samples were benign--but that the growth and its size needed to be investigated. The good news is that everything appears to be healthy--the bad news is that the growth has gotten larger over the past three years.

The photos of the colonoscopy tell the tale--or tell the tail!

1617

April Fool's Day--but no tricks or treats. Just plain old life--with all of its puzzles, tricks, and jokes. I'm doing more to help keep things here on a more even keel--but I feel like everything is shifting and sliding away.

It's also Easter Sunday--with all of that tradition and egg-dying activities. Daughter has one more event at her sister-in-law's house--before the granddaughter starts her trip to Disneyland. BH had to work the entire weekend--which made things even more shifty and slick.

A new month and a new week begins--and April showers may bring the flowers. Or it may bring the weeds--hard to guess which way it will go. Weather is warming--and we can already feel the intensity of the coming heatwaves.

I just put all of the boxes that I had removed from the closet--back into the closet. Like Sisyphus--push them up and take them down. Going nowhere--always on the move.

Well it may be past time for the Easter Bunny to appear--everyone is napping soundly so it's tough to try and wake them. Everyone needs sleep more than input--needs sleep to absorb any input that develops.

I think I dreamt last night--along the same dream lines that I've recently been doing. It's like a serialized show--where each dream is an episode which develops the plots.

Just ingested a V8 Fusion--and looking for the power boost that it seems to produce. Will get me through to daze--and into the evening dreams.