6048

Very different dream last night. I was in a primitive village. I had found my way to the village and was sleeping in a room in a dilapidated building. I awoke in the middle of the night concerned that I might be harmed or robbed, but noted that I was carrying weapons. The people who saw me arrive would know what I had been carrying and would tell others to stay clear of me.

I awoke in the dream to a sandy desert scene. There were several propped together buildings and people sleeping everywhere in tents. I walked to a place that looked like a store. The entrance was blocked up, but it was easy to get around the barrier. In fact, there were several people already inside helping themselves to items. One rather large man was stealing scarves from a display stand and wrapping them around his head and shoulders. Some kids were doing the same thing. I figured that I would just tell the owners what had been taking place when they surfaced.

It was hot and dusty. Gritty sand blew everywhere and got inside clothing and underneath hats and caps. It was a god forsaken place with lots of really poor people. In one part of the dream, I was roller skating down a fairly smooth roadway with my weapons at the ready. I was moving really fast and came up on a guard station before I knew it was there. The guards wheeled around in my direction, but I managed to careen off the roadway and into the brush. Nothing happened between the guards and me. They just went back to talking as I turned around and skated back to the village.
*************************************
Went to Power Healing class tonight. There was a guest--an East Indian man who had left home when he was 12 and had lived in the wilds for most of his life. He spent nine years in silence and many other years living close to the land and animals. Somehow, he had been injured and was bedridden and told he would never walk. Well, he walked into the class! He had been cured when he turned inward while immobile and focused on what/who he was at the core of his being. He didn't attempt to heal himself, he just pursued the question of who/what he was that happened to be in a frozen body. He was inspiring and encouraged everyone to go inward, in whatever way works for us individually, and seek the truth of our being. He encouraged us/me to accept ourselves/myself as we are--and then go from there.

His words coincide with an interview with a man on NPR who had written a book called Sudden Awakening (I think that's the title). Basically, the same story--look inside and not outside, and accept what you see, who you are--let joy bubble forth from that encounter with the self.

I'm charting what happens as I take the medication. I rank each 8-hour period on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 = no effect on tremors; 10 = tremors stopped) along with anything that happened during each period (food intake, unusual events, etc.). So far have been about a 3 on my scale (some remission but still some shaking) with food intake seeming to be critical where my symptoms fall. Earlier tonight (from 3pm dose), I had a period where my face flushed and I felt uncomfortably warm--like you would get from a niacin overdose. Hmmm. Effect subsided after eating dinner and going to PH class.

Well, it's about time to "look inside" and see what's there for me... Raindrop in a storm.

6049

In last night's dream, I was working on a software module for an electronic toy. At some point, I added some new code and the program terminated unexpectedly, leaving the status of the code block in doubt. I was sure if the backup copies had been corrupted or not. I was at a loss regarding what to do. I'd been working on the module for over five months and I'd never had a system crash or any loss of data.

I was in a room with a bunch of senior developers. One of them asked me if I was having problems. I said that I was and showed him the screen messages. There was something about a parameter a not being defined and that was causing a break in the code.

He quickly entered a few commands that showed the contents of key buffers and the state of some system flags. He said that I had used an uninitialized parameter in a calculation and that the result had broken the code. I was puzzled. I had been using the system for over 5 months and I had never encountered an error condition like this before. I verified with him that I'd have to initialize the parameter if I wanted to keep the code clean. It was still not certain if I would be able to resurrect the code from the backups. The crash was severe enough to have damaged the files. I would only know, for sure, after I tried to reload the backup copies. I awoke at this point.
*************************************
Started taking the medication, Sinemet, last night. Wanted to take the initial dose at 11PM and had to wait several hours because of Daylight Saving Time. Setting the clocks back made 11PM delayed by an hour.

Happy to report that I didn't seem to have any odd reactions to the drug. Slept well and relatively soundly. I thought that the bedtime shakes and tremors were reduced some. Awoke around 4AM because I had to use the toilet. Even though I had gone to sleep only a few hours, I felt awake, but pulled the covers up and went back to sleep.

Awoke around 7AM and took another dose. Slept in until around 10AM. Shaking and tremors seemed present and steady until I arose, did a little Qigong and took my vitamins. Went out to breakfast with L. Shaking/tremors persisted through the morning and up through 3PM (now) when I took a third dose.

We sat in the sun during the early afternoon and the warmth felt good. Back in my room now with its coolness/dampness. Hands and fingers are cold. Will have to crank up the space heater. Will go out for a short drive just to see if there are any anomalies or interactions between the Sinemet and my driving. Will only make a short run.

Feeling somewhat spacey today. Probably a combination of the time changes (like now it's already starting to get dark--sun is low in the sky) and my body/system absorbing the medications. No clear indication so far that medication does or does not affect the symptoms. Probably will require several days before it shows up one way or the other (either stops symptoms or does not).

Time for a bit of driving... no diving, striving, hiving--just the plain old driving...

6050

Restless dreams last night. Shadows and mists, but nothing solid or kept in memory. Didn't make it to dancing last night. When I got to L's, she had bad news concerning her father. He had fallen and broke his leg. He is in hospital. That was a worry they had about him living in the family house alone--that something might happen and no one would be there to help him.

Anyway with her news and my news about my doctor visit and prognosis, we decided to not be on the move last night. Watched some TV and got an overdose of news about the day's events.

I slept in late this morning. Finally rolled out of bed around 10:30AM. Did a Qigong session and then went online to read up on PD, substantia negra (the dopamine produced cells), fava beans (they contain a natural dopamine ingredient), Sinemet (what it does and does not do), available resources, glutathione, electronic brain stimulators (that have to be implanted--for late stage, severe symptomatic conditions), and all that the web has to offer.

Quite a number of resources and lots of data. I plan to start taking the medication tomorrow since I've got nothing scheduled and that should give me a clear stage for observing results and reactions. I'm fairly well convinced that the upswing of tremors and shaking is linked to my deciding to reduce the brain food supplements. The supplements were working and masking the symptoms. I'll take the Sinemet long enough to confirm a diagnosis and then restart the brain foods (and other regimens) as life unfolds.

Bumped in JH today while eating lunch. He's 71 and still motoring along. Exercises every day (running, dancing, skating, biking, etc.). He told a story about lowering his cholesterol by taking Chinese Red Rice supplements instead of a drug. He took his reading down from 220 to 180, and then 160, in a very short time period. He laughed about not being able to catch up with the teenagers on the track, but he's happy going slow.

I was late taking food today and the shaking was more noticeable until I ate something. Reinforces the idea of moving into a place with a kitchen--so I can at least control that set of variables. Looking and watching, but nothing has jumped out of craigslist yet. Want to stay in the area for many reasons. Want a place near one of the downtown areas so I can park my truck, walk everywhere, get on a bike, etc. Looking for the right place at the right price. May go a bit more than I'd like if the right place manifests.

Nice note from my spirit brother, The Dragon, who lends his support. Thank you Dragon friend. I'm settling into a quiet space from which to begin this part of the journey. As my Dragon friend encourages--dream a dream where this health issue is resolved, healed, fixed--and live that dream. So be it!

6051

Elaborate dream sequence last night. We were divided up into teams of two, forming at least three and maybe as many as four teams. We were working together on a covert project that required us to operate as 2-person teams, restrict communications between teams, and be responsible for particular subtasks on the project. The dream was intricate, like a mystery novel's plot, where each team performed actions and did things according to an unfolding script. It was not clear if there was anyone directing things from an overall perspective. At times, I felt as if I was doing so, but now I recall that I didn't have complete knowledge of what was to take place in which sequence.

There was a scene where one of the teams, two Hispanic guys, were killed. Their death was the result of another team's actions--something that didn't turn out correctly when it was done. We had to adjust to the loss of that team and make up for their absence by taking on other aspects of the project.

When I awoke, I had the thought of how the dream was like a complete story, a novel, that was engaging and powerful.
*************************************
Been thinking a lot today about what's next--especially if I have PD. I didn't eat anything until nearly lunch time. The tremors and shaking were noticeable until I had lunch. Food did seem to quiet things down to some degree, but I'm now more sensitized to noticing when it happens or stops.

Unfortunately, I feel that the medication is going to work and confirm what I don't want to know or hear. I know that it's possible to sustain for a number of years by staying on the medication(s), but not exactly what I had in mind for my older years. Everything is for a purpose, I hope.

Craving sweets and some chai. Looking for comfort in foods and desserts. Want to stuff myself with things that momentarily make me forget what's in front of me. And, then again, this could be another false alarm. It is something since I'm shaking and feeling the tremoring, but there is the possibility it's something else and not PD--of course, it could be something even worse.

Round and round, I go. Where I stop, nobody knows. Time for chai and a piece of nut bread or such. Time to forget, for a moment, what the future may hold, may have in mind.

Dance tonight. Spooks and goblins. No costume needed. I'll come as myself.

6052

Lost last night's dreams. Don't remember any fragments, nada. Dreams of import will return another night.

Today was filled with appointments--dental, medical, chiropractic and dancing--plus some errands, food foraging, and driving aimlessly about.

Dental went well. Medical went less well. Doctor listened to my symptoms (tremor, shaking on right side) and suggested that I take some drugs that moderate PD symptoms. If the symptoms go away with the drugs, I might have PD. If not, then I probably don't have it, but am experiencing something else. Picked up the prescription (Sinemet). Scary list of possible complications, but using it for a month should clear up whether it's a Yes or No.

Will not begin the drugs until early next week so I can do a bit more research and investigation. Not happy to have heard what I've heard, but some relief that there is some clarity about what is going on.

Over the past week, I had pretty much convinced myself that I was experiencing something that was mechanical/physical--not anything neurological. I was feeling fairly positive up until today. I'm on the downside of the slide after today. Up and down, and round and round--never knowing where I've been or gone...

6053

Had a dream that involved diagrams and schematics. I was in charge of making sure that the documents matched up. I did so by matching a set of code numbers that appeared on each document. It was an intricate and detailed dream, filled with checks and crosschecks, and requiring a lot of intention.

There were other dreams, but they didn't stick when I awoke.

Turned in the BMR application. Still don't hold out much hope that it will even get to be considered, but it's in the mix. Also made an appointment at the health clinic to have someone look at my tremor/arm/shaking. Healing work is helping, but also won't hurt to get an opinion as to why it's persisting and getting more pronounced.

Checked out Twister's Gym to see if they are a possible men's team meeting place. Looks possible. Would be nice to do some climbing. They've reworked the space and it's got a lot of climbing area--more so than it had when we first started climbing. Need to run it past the team and see if we can field a quorum.

Feeling like I'm in a limbo state. Attention of health-related issues is getting tiresome. It's been a year or more with one thing after the other in spite of all of the interventions I've taken. Decided to see a doctor about the latest shaking/tremor just to see if there's a way to resolve what's happening and set me free for a symptomless set of moments.

Rainy and soggy today, which makes it cool and damp here in me room. May have to break out the space heater to warm the place and reduce the prevalent chill.

Today was a "free" day in that I had no place to be or nowhere I had to go. Now, it's almost passed. Went by in a haze, a fog, a blur. Another daze gone by with rainbows swimming in my eye... my, oh my! Now, goodbye!

6054

Dreamless in Seattle. Well not in Seattle, but in my remembrance of my dreams. Recall the feel of the dreams--like they were very linear and shaped. They played out one after the other in sequence, unfolding naturally, and without any unusual events or scenes. There was one dream that almost came to mind, almost comes to mind even as I write, but it recedes and fades as well.

Got totally lost in Spanish class today. My brain felt clogged and filled up as if nothing more would penetrate. Dance class went better--less to absorb, especially with reviews.

Got a call from P today. She has been in touch with GH and they are talking. Glad to hear that that was happening. I believe GH will be helpful to P and her journey.

I filled out the BMR application. Will deliver it tomorrow (a day early even though that has no effect on the process).

Something from PH class last night keeps replaying in my thoughts--something about finding my joy, my happiness. I've lost sight of that essence over the past few years. I need some fun, some laughter, some respite from the continuous array of health-related issues I keep encountering. Time for a break. Time for some R&R and that doesn't refer to rumination and reflection.

Perhaps a move to another apartment is not the answer. Perhaps a different sort of move is in order, one that doesn't follow the predetermined path. It's late. I'm not thinking clearly. I believe I'll let the dream worlds give me an answer, a suggestion, a nudge. Let the dreamtimes roll.

6055

Dreams lost. Day lost. Suddenly it's late night and I'm just getting around to posting today's blither-blab. Don't have a clue regarding dream states from last night. And as I note, today went by in dreamlike fashion. Hours come and gone with no evidence of there having been a passing.

Did get to the chiropractor, I did. But remainder of the time was spent in foraging for food and a new place to live. It was cold all day, cooler than my body seems to like it to be. Power Healing class tonight was chaotic. We had to transfer to another room. It was not set up as well as our regular classroom--less space, more crowded.

But, we learned about the Golden Ball tonight. The golden healing ball that each of us can access and use for healing and clarification. Will try the technique tonight on my arm/shoulder. The cold appears to aggravate the shaking, making me shake more than usual. Try to let it be, but I was shaking so much tonight that I couldn't just make it go away. Not sure if I ate too little, or ate the wrong stuff, or if the chiropractic work caused some reaction, or if it's just getting worse or more persistent. We'll see in some history what mystery appears.

Meanwhile, reading some more Oates. Strange tales, but great reading. Read on, McDuff (or is it Macduff, or Mac Duck, or...).

6056

Distant dreams. Whatever they were now they are gone. Lost in the awakening moments. Slipped away like smoke. More will come.

Went to see the BMR unit today. I'll make an application even though (1) I'm probably not close enough to the top of the list to actually be given a chance to buy it, (2) the unit though functional is "old" looking--it has ample space and such, but it feels "old" and tired. (Just my cynical impression--or maybe the ghost of the person who had lived there is still around.)

Speaking of ghosts, I picked up some library books--one on the mathematics of cosmology, one on physics theories and such (string theory), and a set of tales of the grotesque by Oates. So far, I've read more of Oates, but I plan to jump into the other titles as well. Right now, I'm reading in about five or six titles--just to keep it interesting.

Apartment hunting seems to be going slowly. Seems like it was like this last year at this time--sluggish listings and low-end units disappearing, leaving only higher priced units. Hmmmm. Next week will tell the tale. Coming up on the end of the month and first of a new one--see if that shakes loose anything of interest.

Ate my way through the day again. My appetite seems to be returning. Cool weather making me want warm foods--not cold smoothies, yogurts, etc. Need a kitchen--must have one in order to be able to control my diet. Anyway, I managed to pig out again today and my stomach is happy and contented.

Chiropractor and Power Healing tomorrow, plus a variety of incidentals. Time to hit the books--several of them.

6057

Don't recall any details of last night's dreams. I just remember that there was a theme of violence that was acted out in the dream. It seems like I was a teenager and was back in my home town. I was with some of my childhood friends, but we were doing things we never did--violent things to other people and animals.

Danced a lot last night and finally left a bit later than usual. Came home energized and read until early in the morning hours. Got up early and went with L to the beach (HMB). We ate an ample breakfast, walked the beach, walked around town, and made our way back through the hordes of pumpkin seekers.

We went to see Proof, the movie, in the afternoon. OK movie. Like a cross between Good Will Hunting and a Beautiful Mind, with a woman as the savant. Made me think of my early years when I was intrigued by mathematics, proofs, logic, and numbers. Made me think of wanting to read more about current math theories and crossovers with physics. String theory: I want to read about, learn about string theory. Why? For the pleasure of doing so.

After the movie, we went to MV and walked the streets, had a dessert at the cafe in the bookstore, and bought lottery tickets. I had an urge to use the bathroom at the cafe. Person who went in ahead of me, a woman, was talking on the phone throughout her whole visit. How this is possible is a mystery since she didn't have a hands off unit. Hmmm! Don't want to borrow her phone.

When I dropped L off at her place, I went to the grocery store to restock my banana cache. There was a spicy pork dish in the buffet table. Picked up a carton of that dish along with some underripe bananas. Why are the recent banana offerings so unripe and green? Are there unripe bananas everywhere?

Anyway, I've eaten much today and often--from the time I awoke until now as I head for the bed.

Tomorrow, I will visit the BMR, 1 BR unit that is being offered to us poor people. I expect that I'll fall too far down the list, but who knows--miracles can happen. Let there be miracles. More and more.

I had a thought last night (beware of thoughts--I am not my thoughts) of me just being with whatever is happening to and around me. To just let things be whatever they are without adding anything or any energy. Had the same thought again today as I driving back and forth between events or places, as I translated from space to place.

Will do a full Qigong practice tomorrow, which I didn't do today. Hau, hau, hau! Chi is free!

6058

Rich dreams last night. Rich in detail and in content. One dream took place, once again, in a toy development company setting. We were working on a new type of toy interface. I wasn't completely up to speed on how the interface worked, but I was helping do demos. The interface used a combination of voice, joystick, pen, and touch sensitive controls. It was possible to direct the toy's actions using any of the controls in any combination. People who were more adept with the interface could make the toy do all manner of feats. The setting for the demonstrations was more like a NASA facility than a toy company. The levels of technology were massive and extensive.

A second dream had me living in an apartment with my mother and an ex-girlfriend. The place was stark. There were piles of clothes, books, and household items scattered throughout the place. Each of us seemed to wander back and forth, interacting slightly, but mostly stacking and restacking piles of items. There were many unspoken signs and portents, many innuendos transmitted mostly in silence. My mother stayed mostly in or near the kitchen. The ex-girlfriend stayed in or near one of the bedrooms. She kept making dramatic gestures and she threw things about as if making some kind of point with me and with my mother.

Both dreams were full of detail and continuity. They both remain vivid in my mind's eye even though they played out over a half day ago.
*************************************
Did my laundry today, a few days past when I usually do it. Looked through craigslist for any new postings. There were none of interest. Dance class last night was OK. One fairly good new dance taught and learned--called Daaaaave! P showed up. He didn't last the whole evening, but he got the dance. His radiation treatments continue.

I was wide awake when I got home. Did a set of PH movements (perfunctory since it was late). Used PH to heal the tremor in my arm, body. Noticed that holding my arm straight up, over my head, stops the shaking.

Read more of the Almaas book. Finding a lot of resonance in that piece of writing. Went to sleep very relaxed, very still.

Expect to head to dance tonight. Have my MegaMillion tickets. Let the fates roll the dice tonight and make me the first CA resident to win a jackpot--why not? On the spot. Thanx a lot.

6059

I dreamed I was in Memphis, TN. I was finding my way around town. I went to a shopping plaza and picked up some new clothes. When I came out of the stores, I looked around and knew where I was in relation to where I wanted to go next. I started driving. It was rush hour, but I was heading in the opposite flow direction. I took several turns and side streets, ended up driving across some empty lots that showed vehicle tracks, and landing on other streets that took me where I wanted to go. I was not worried since I also had the power to fly. I could zoom up, high above the buildings, and see the city spread out below like a map. I did this several times when I needed to see where I was in relation to cross streets and sections of town. The dream was easy going, unhurried and filled with enjoyment--of the moment, of the activities, of the driving, and the flying.
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Days becoming merged together, muddled, and so alike that it seems as if nothing is happening. I awaken and I sleep. What happens between these two markers seems to itself be a marker of another kind--one that has some variations, but that still seem to be the same, or almost so. Stasis. Caught in a stasis, an eddy that seems to go nowhere, that isn't producing any variations of value. What is being produced is ennui in the extreme, and an obsession with minutiae, the minutiae of everyday life.

As can be gathered from the preceding rumble, I'm not feeling fully engaged, fully enraged, fully wrapped. I dance, I dream and move my body in ritual patterns, but I continue to hit walls, encounter barriers, and cannot seem to extricate myself, retread, redo, revisit, or even react. I know that this is it, this is how it's turned out, and that it's exactly how it's supposed to be. I know all of these things on some level, but not on a level that promulgates action, change or variation.

I've received a BMR announcement of a below market unit being shown this weekend. I don't think I'm far enough up the list to be selected, but I'll still make the open house and submit an application. It's a one bedroom unit for about $90,000--what a deal! If I fall off the top of the list.

Meanwhile, I dance, I visit with the chiropractor, I look through apartment listings, I practice Qigong, and I notice all the stagnation and non-moving elements. Life goes on in its petty pace, day by day, until I awaken, arise, and find my path through the jungle I've created.

6060

Last night's dream took place in a toy company. I was, as usual, helping with the development of a toy. We were looking back through notebooks and project files for related data regarding the design we had underway. The overall dream was very orderly and measured. There was no sense of hectic activity, but it was more structured and efficient.

There were many of the people I had worked with at LF. We were on a project team that was focused on the design. I felt really productive. I was able to locate data from the project files. It was a particular skill that I had and could use in the dream to do some of the required work.

Day has gone by with almost no markers, no major actions. I searched for a new living place. Foraged for food. Spoke to P and P. Looked through the newspapers. Did Qigong (and will close the day with the PH movements). Slept really deep last night, especially after doing PH movements before going to sleep. Awoke somewhat early and was on the move a bit earlier than normal. Had nothing planned for the day except casual actions. Mainly rested and ate, read some.

Had a hearty dinner tonight. Was craving pasta so went and got a plate of rigatoni and sausage... Delicious!

Early out, tonight. Not many lofty thoughts. Oh, well! Can't be lofty all the time.

6061

Dream-a-rama last night. One dream involved a house that was located on a hill, but where the land around the place was like a desert--no dirt, just lots of sand. A woman lived in the house with two young children. I was there in the area with another woman. We were working with water sources that were represented by hoses that were stuck into the sands all around the house and surrounding land. We could pull up a hose and push it back into the sand. When we did move the hoses, the water flows near the house would change. The bottom line was that we could see that all of the water sources were connected, and that the entire network beneath the house was dangerously interlaced.

A second dream had me and the woman who helped me move the hoses in the first dream taking a tour of an art repository. The place was dark and dingy, filled with hundreds of old pieces of art, art supplies, pieces of stone, metals and much more. There was an abundance of everything, but it was all in disarray. I'm not sure why we were taking the tour. There was a shadow-like figure that went with us as we went through the repository.

The third dream was a replay of the final movements of the Power Healing session that took place last night. I was gathering my shoes, water bottle, and so forth. Everything started happening in slow motion. I felt myself slow down and seem to take forever to do the simplest action. The feeling was also like that at the end of my chiropractor session yesterday. It seemed like it took me forever to gather my belongings and leave the office.
*************************************
Dance class was good. Learned a new cha-cha type dance. Smooth, flowing dance. Before going to class, I was heavy and could have easily skipped out. But did not and glad I did not do so. Movement is energy; energy is movement. Really a truth for me.

Spanish class was also a good experience earlier today. I'm not as quick as the others (who are mostly repeating students), but I find I can read fairly well.

Had an odd encounter today as I was heading to Spanish class. I had stopped by a place that sells MegaMillion tickets (I think it's up to $90MM). An older Spanish woman was in line and she asked me if I spoke Spanish. I said "No, estoy aprendiendo espanol poco y poco." "Bueno," she replied. I think I said "No, I am learning Spanish little by little." Si! My first exchange en espanol.

Got a message from P tonight while I was at dance class. He thanked me profusely for the Get Well card. He was counting the number of signatures compared to the card he got from the QS dance club. Half empty or half full? Easy to be sidetracked by statistics.

Getting punchy. Time to head into the dream worlds--after I do my PH regimen. Adios.

6062

Dreams got muddled. Don't recall any details or themes. Awoke quite early and lost the dreams in the tossing about.

Started making phone calls and sending email to places that have furnished apartments in some of my preferred locations. See myself in a bright, open studio with a working kitchen. That will be the key addition to my life(laugh)style. I see a well stocked refrigerator and me cooking dinners. It's been a year now without a kitchen. I hope that I remember how to cook.

Felt good this morning, before and after my trip to the chiropractor. Heading for the Power Healing class tonight. We haven't met for two weeks because of last week's holiday--Columbus Day. Spanish class tomorrow. Need to look over last week's and this week's lessons.

The beat goes on... and on... and on... Until all our yesterdays are spent and gone...

6063

If I dreamed last night, it was probably about horses. Saw the Seabiscuit movie last night. Good flick where the littlest horse wins. A great story and a well done film version. Anyway, if I dreamed, I'm sure it was about horses is some way, shape or form.

Funny incident happened as L and I watched the movie. At one point, she turned to me and rattled off a string of thoughts in Finnish. When she realized what she was doing, we both had a good laugh at what happened. I'm sure I had this puzzled look on my face as she was midstream in her statement. It was a crack up once we both realized what was going on.

L and I went to a street fair this morning. She bought, you guessed it, a painting of some horses. It was done by an artist who painted nearly photographic quality images--amazing images that really engaged to eye/brain system. He used a variety of media (watercolor, pastel, oil, etc.), but the result was really engaging images. L bought a high desert scene of four wild horses running along a ridge trail in Nevada. She bought a print (originals were well priced, but still a bit costly).

We walked the fair and stopped for breakfast at Jessie Kool's place. I had a delicious bread pudding. Jessie walked by and we exchanged hellos. Hadn't seen her in quite some time.

Turned in my final rent check for la casa de Pereyra--or so I plan. There is a temptation to hang on here because it doesn't require any effort on my part. But, I know it's time for a shift, a change, a stir of the creative pot. H & C asked how my writing was going. I had to admit not well. Not anything productive so far. Lots of emptying and words being accumulated, but not much of substance or import.

At the art fair, also saw some embroidery work that was amazingly exquisite. Scenes rendered in silken threads. Beautiful, intricate work.

Have one month to locate a new place, move and settle in, again. I know what I'm looking for at this juncture. Have made my list and am checking it twice. Feel that I need 6- to 12-months here in this area to smooth out my psycho/physical issues and establish my rhythms. Then can move on to the next venue, whatever that may be.

Have to pass on Baja for now. And concentrate on creating a supportive space for what I need to be doing, must be doing if I am to go to the next level with everything. The time is now--as it always seems to be.

6064

I dreamed that I was showing some people a route that I had taken around a farming area. The route I had traversed had several places where it would be easy to lose track of where I was going. The roads disappeared and became no more than a trail through the woods and fields. We were retracing my route in the daytime, which had some advantages. For example, I could see tire tracks through grassy areas where I had left the road and navigated an alternate path.

I don't know what the point of the dream was about. My passengers seemed to be interested in how I had traveled and what routes I had chosen. Why? No clue!

A second dream segment took place at a festival or picnic. People were doing a lot of playful and silly things. I recall that I kept tossing a ball at a kid who was trying to do something with a clutch of balls. I'd bombard him when He wasn't facing my way and then I'd pretend to not be doing anything. People were laughing, dancing and running about having fun. It was a pleasant dream.
*************************************
Dancing last night was enlivening. Woke me up from the funky state I was in yesterday afternoon. Was feeling heavy and dull. L and I started out early, but got caught in rush hour traffic. We stopped at IKEA and grabbed some food and then meandered on to the dance hall. I took P's Get Well card and people signed it with their thoughts and such. It will a treat for him. There were lots of notes from the dancers.

Looked like it had rained last night just a little. Left the air clean and refreshed.

I'm poised to turn in my final rental check for this place and to start looking for a new location. I have a short (long) list of features I'm looking for in a new place. I've been watching craigslist with my list in mind. Leaning towards finding a furnished place, but will adjust as needed.

6065

Dreamed that I was in an old house. There were many rooms and several people in the building. At one point, I was closing windows and curtains. The wind was blowing through the slightly open windows, making the curtains billow. There was a brief thought of some danger in leaving the windows open, but I went ahead and left them that way.

A second part of the dream took place in a tavern. There were dozens of people crowded into the place. There was a waiting list for people that wanted to sing. I was supposed to talk to a tall man about something, but I wasn't clear about what. I joined the crowds and realized that there was food being served if you could get near the food tables. I awoke feeling incomplete in terms of the dreams' resolutions. I also had to force myself to get up; I wanted to sleep in and complete the dreams.

Spent most of the day on craigslist (looking at rental places) and Network for Good (a clearing house for volunteers). NFG is an interesting site (Network for Good :: Home). A really classy use of the Internet and its resources. You can enter your ZIP code and a radius, and call up all of the volunteering opportunities in your area.

Heading to dancing tonight. Will take P's Get Well card and get people to sign it. Gray and foggy looking outside right now--almost as if it's going to rain. I keep experiencing cravings for different things--chocolate, ice cream, cheesecake, meat, rice and beans, bagels, and much more. I crave, but really don't need anything in particular.

Filled out my final rental check (for this place). Ready to move, to move onward to wherever I'm to go. Several possibles on craigslist. Need to also look in other resources. Pumpkin Festival weekend--not a good time to head for the beach.

Nap time before dancing begins... Time for early dreams...

6066

Dreamed last night of working on an electronic device. There were hundreds of circuits that had to be unscrambled and optimized. I was using a tool that let me bring up the circuitry, search for overlaps, and consolidate the wiring required. I'm not certain what the final device was supposed to do, now. During the dream, I felt like I had a clear picture of what it was to do and how the circuits were to be put together. The dream involved a cool efficiency and competence. I felt like I was working effectively and efficiently.

Men's team meeting was minimal last night. Just RS, MK and me appeared. No news from RR. MD was stuck in Lodi (again). RM called and bailed at the last minute--he had a planned dinner with his mother-in-law. RB was shooting elk. BH was burying his father, who suffered a heart attack last week. Steakburgers were OK. Need to come up with some venue that doesn't center around food. Can just make that a prerequisite--eat a big lunch--no food available at the meeting.

Have about determined that I will not be going to Baja. Too much involved given my current situation(s). Am starting to look for a new place to rent in the area. Looking for a place with a kitchen so I can better control my dietary needs. Am spending too much on ready-made food that is not always healthy. Tasty, yes! Healthy, sometimes!

Ideal place will be near one of the main thoroughfares so I can walk too stores, use local free WiFi connections, etc. And one that has a kitchen, access to a W/D, off street parking, some extra storage space, utilities included, and a modest rent (with a month-to-month or short lease). It is out there. I just have to corral it when it appears.

Dance class tonight. Zippadeedoodah! Moment by moment. Washed my truck today. It really needed it. A street person came up as I was washing and asked to help. There was nothing he could do--I was using one of the power wands to knock off the surface dust. He looked so desperate that I gave him some changes. He was not one of the people playing the system. He looked and acted like he was in need. Anyway, I gave him a handful of change. He thanked me. One moment of opening, or so it felt.

Expect the gardeners to arrive soon, making their noisy way through the yard, trying to control the forces of nature with tools and gadgets.

Think I'll go look around one area of town where I think I'd like to find a place. See what's on the For Rent signs in that area. Or not. Could just wait for "the place" to appear, but probably best to be stirring the pot, just in case.

I'm thinking I should hang here in the area for another 6 months or so, and continue to restore myself. During that time, I will make exploratory trips, investigate other areas, and establish my writing practice--which is the key thing I wish to do, need to do, have to do. Without that focus, all else is without purpose, without energy.
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Dance class was so-so tonight. Learned a dance (sort of) that was to piece of rap music. Steps weren't that aligned with the beat, the rhythm. Funky but not also. P's wife was there and she finally broke down in tears and left early. She's concerned with P no doubt. I wanted to get people to sign his get well card, but didn't want to do it with her there--then she left and I didn't manage to do it before class ended. Will take the card to B&B tomorrow night.

Class energy was down tonight or so it seemed. Right now, the neighbors are outside (in a hot tub?) making late night noises. H, the landlord, is rummaging around the house even though it's quite late. Not something he usually will do since his wife has to get up so early. Maybe she has the day off or is not home tonight. Or maybe he just has work that must be done.

Tomorrow is D-day (declaration day). I need to let them know that I'm planning to vacate on my one year anniversary date. Time to move on to a new setting, a new room with a view. Life calls. I hear and act. What else is there to do, to be done?

6067

Dreams and dancing. They intertwined last night. Seems like I was going over and over the steps to the latest dances. Kept figuring out how each dance began and then followed the patterns through until I had danced the dance. I think there were other dreams, but the dance sequences were the ones most available as I awoke.

Awakened really early again, before 6AM. Then promptly fell back asleep and cat napped until I finally managed to arise (levantar). It was laundry day here on the farm and I went to the laundromat (lavanderia). Almost no one there a bit later in the morning. Have to wade through the early birds' debris, but did get to pick a washer that didn't stop mid-cycle as some still do.

Kept thinking about Tolle's discussion about "this moment." Standing in the laundromat musing about the present moment. Makes sense to me. When else would I do that? No choice. If I'm going to attend to the present moment, I have to be in whatever moment I happen to be experiencing--laundromat or otherwise. Of course, I got distracted as soon as I tried to tune in to the present. Something--traffic, people, sign painters, kids walking by, the newspaper, thoughts of food, calling R about tonight's meeting, and a few thousand other thoughts came zooming in to fill the perceived void.

And then there was the yo-yo who had left just as I arrived. He appeared to have spilled his coffee on the folding bench. He just left the puddle and sailed off to his present moment. Something else that I could obsess over as my present moments unfolded. (Note: yo-yo means I-I in Spanish. A cosmic linguistic coincidence.)

J from dance class gave me a flyer from the Arts Festival that has a photograph of L and me dancing at the street fair either last year or the year before. I look massive in the photo compared to my current appearance. Oh what a difference a year or two makes! Although my face is filling out some as I've been eating a bit more. I'm not as gaunt as I've recently been.

Also, the materials I've been reading and listening to have served to calm some of my anxiety. Toole's and Almaas's works are providing guideposts to the journey I find myself on as I deal with sorting out the Holy Ideas from the loss of those concepts within my current frame of reference.

So it may not yet be time to sing Zipadeedodah as I dance down the street, I'm feeling like I'm closing on the possibility.

Men's team meeting tonight. Will be good to see everyone who will be there. Will push to see if we can come up with something more exciting than a burger place for next month's venue. Just had an Odwalla Chocolate Protein drink. I may never want solid food again. Yum diddy yum yum!

I have to hit the lavabo. Adios, ahora!

6068

Dream pudding last night. A mush of dreaming with nothing much remembered.

Went to Spanish class today. Was a stimulating session--mostly talking practice. But, I'm finding that I can decipher written Spanish with greater and greater facility. Will continue to learn more no matter where I may be headed. Being able to speak Spanish seems like an itch that I want to scratch.

Have to eat something more substantial than a smoothie before going to class. Felt myself starting to fade during the final half hour. Tengo cansado. Have to start carrying snacks with me as I move about and sit still for any length of time.

Dance class tonight. More new dances plus reviews of older ones. Haven't been to a regular dance for quite some time. Have to get up and out this weekend, although the QS dance is in that cruddy place up North.

Still reading (and will be doing so for some time) the Almaas book on the enneagram and listening to more of Tolle. Almaas book is ostensibly by A. H. Almaas, but copyright is registered to A-Hameed Ali. What's the story here? Is there a real A.H. Almaas or just a pseudonym. Always some mysteries!

Read a SciFi story that dealt with a time loop that was like a hole in the fabric of time. I think the story affected my dream state, but cannot be certain since the dreams got so jumbled and flipped around.

Perhaps dreams are merely time loops--peeks into alternate universes. Quick peeks into other dimensions designed by dream merchants who are using dream states to balance out the differences between realities. Yeah! And my soul is a hole in the space-time continuum.

6069

Had a macabre dream last night. It involved a white duck. The duck was either a pet or one of the farm animals that belonged to us. There was some kind of problem that required that the duck be captured and penned. But the creature kept escaping from our crude traps and snares. At one point the duck ran under the house and up behind a wooden stairwell. There was a huge creature that was helping us as we tried to capture the duck. When the duck ran behind the stairwell, the large creature picked up an anvil. He threw the anvil onto the porch and crushed the stairwell. The duck was trapped by the heavy anvil and was killed. We went under the porch and found the crushed remains of the duck. Its feathers and blood were smeared across a small sustaining wall at the rear of the stairwell.

Spent a lot of the day doing research on getting to Baja, obtaining medivac insurance, and so forth. Roundtrip fare will be about $400. Medivac insurance runs about $250. Truck storage around $150/mo. My storage locker's monthly fee will continue somewhere around $55/mo. to $75/mo.

Had a delicious breakfast--scrambled eggs with a salsa, avocado and sour cream. Rye toast.

Spoke with RS and told him of my sadness over the passing of his daughter. He continues to be a model of rationality and stability given the immense karmic issues he continues to deal with in his life.

No Power Healing class tonight. Columbus Day holiday being celebrated by some. Continue to listen to Tolle CD's. There is a clarity around what he speaks about, and what he's talking about, Living a Peaceful Inner Life, dovetails the Almaas writings about the enneagram of Holy Ideas. Out of all of this information and data, I seem to be drifting toward some conclusions and decisions. Everything is still nascent and premature, but some indications of direction are beginning to emerge.

The immense earthquake in Pakistan, India, Afghanistan dwarfs the tragedy of the recent hurricanes. So much turmoil in the world right now. It's as if the demons have been loosed and that there is no limit to what will keep happening.

6070

Dream festival last night. In one dream, I was trying to reach a cabin that was in the foothills. I had taken a primitive route that put me on a road that was badly washed out. I made it to the cabin, but only because I managed to navigate past a swampy area where the vehicle threatened to bog down in the mud. When I arrived, some of the people there marveled at the route I had taken and that I had actually made it through. Normally, people who went that route got stuck and would have to be hauled out with a tow truck.

In a second part of the dream, I walked from the cabin toward the center of the city. I was pleasantly surprised that the trails near the city were well maintained. I was also surprised that cabin was so near the city--within walking distance. There were all kinds of branching trails as I neared the city. I chose one that made a steep ascent to a ridgeline area. I had on my hiking boots and easily walked the trail. At the top, I could look back over the entire valley. It was a great vista site once I reached the ridge. I hiked along and before dark settled in made my way back down and to the cabin.

A third dream segment had to do with a dance class. I went into an old building near the cabin. Some people were already there and standing in lines. H was there and I said hello. The instructor started teaching a dance, but she was not making it easy. She was teaching steps out of sequence and using confusing terms and directions. I asked H what was going on. She replied that the people were not there too dance, but were there to learn something about themselves. The dancing was incidental. No one cared if they danced or not. The goal was to learn something about the self.

There was a small girl child there. She refused to stand next to anyone. She stood by herself in the corner of the floor. At some point the class ended and people drifted out onto a deck. Some sat together and covered themselves with blankets to ward off the evening chill. H and I sat together with the little girl nearby.

There were long stretches in each dream segment where I was either driving, walking or dancing. The fact that people were not there to dance was such a strange revelation that I became awake while still asleep, still in the dream state. It was like a message being whispered to me that this information was important.

I literally did wake up at 5:30AM. It was as if I had slept enough and it was time to awaken. I looked at the clock and went back to sleep. But for a moment, I was fully awake, alert.

Went to a Qigong workshop today. It was at EastWest bookstore and was a short 2-hr peek at some Medical Qigong as practiced by a healing professional. It was worthwhile, but nothing of great newness. Practice is what makes the difference. More practice and keeping the intentions clear and fresh.

Just read a SciFi story about a toy designer who created some realistic, talking dolls. A story I could have written. Strange collection of feelings and thoughts as the story unfolded. Wonder how the author came upon the storyline--what prompted his thinking about how the story would unfold? Strange universe we live in--or perhaps more odd than even that.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Creeps with sound and fury. Will listen to more Tolle tonight. Tolle's talks and Almaas's enneagram discussions dovetail on each other. With SciFi eeriness capping everything. Plus, I'm dreaming about a piece of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. The many-layered thought forms of the simple mind.

Weekend wafted away in a haze of food, books, sleep and waiting. Waiting for what? For a sign, a signal, an illumination, restoration, mechination. And it will come. It always does, perhaps.

6071

Dreamed that I was helping a group of people fight off some form of menace. Near the end, I was handing out computer peripheral cables that were meant to be used as weapons or tools. It was all we had left. Everything else had been consumed in the earlier encounters and battles. The only people left were a woman, some kids and a few others who stayed back in the shadows. There was a sense of it feeling good that everything was nearly over, that there was little left to be done. I awoke remembering handling out the cables, but couldn't recover much of the early parts of the dream.

I went to bed early last night after I'd come back from a trip to the bookstore. I decided to not go dancing, but to stay home and read. Picked up a Year's Best collection of SciFi stories. I remembered that I'd read the original of the first story when I was about half way through it. It was a good story about a dog that had been well trained to be a fighting canine. He was the best and the brightest, and managed to survive an ambush that wiped out his entire company. It was a compelling fantasy.

Also picked up the Almaas book, Facets of Unity. Deals with the enneagram and its relationship to a cluster of Holy Ideas. GH had indicated that I should read about point nine first, that doing so would help make sense of the rest of the work. I can see just from looking at point nine why she thought the book would interest me.

The basic thrust of the writing is that there is a Holy Idea associated with each point on the enneagram that gets subverted by how we "hold" that idea--what distortion we bring to that idea based on our conditioning, beliefs, personal ideas, etc. In order to recover for ourselves the "truth" behind each idea, we have to let go of our egocentric notions and allow the radiance of the essence of the idea to fill our consciousness--that's what I seem to have gathered so far.

The work is infused and highlighted by notes and comments by Oscar Ichazo, the founder of the Arica Institute (voice from the distant past). Haven't fully read all on point nine so far, but it does have my attention.

Took daughter and L to lunch today for daughter's birthday. Daughter is charged and engaged with her studies and plans. Was good to see her that way. She's applying to go to San Diego State in the Fall of '06. I'm sure she's on her way.

Evening slides quietly over the end of the daylight hours. The winds keep whirling and knocking some early Fall leaves from the trees. I read and sleep, sleep and read. I feel myself to be in the stupor mentioned in the Facets book. Instead of being engaged with the Holy Idea of the nine point, I disengage and fall asleep. I am not worthy so then I sleep. Engagement becomes too difficult, or so I paint the canvas and thus see that image.

Dreams and vapors fill the spaces of the possible worlds. I hang onto nothing and so I drift, I sleep, I grow still and fall away. I forget. I no longer hold memories, but let them slip into the shadows, slide into the darkness.

Reality is. To see it that way can be done, can be achieved. It is but steps along a path; adventures along the way. Halt the chatter and let in what is there--always there.

6072

Had dreams last night that were like a long movie where the scenes didn't necessarily appear logically. Scenes happened one after the other, but were disjointed in terms of content. I don't remember details. I just remember the way the scenes were played out in the set of images.

Dancing tonight. Looking forward to some continuous movement and being in motion. Will see if I can remember some of the newer dances.

Today, I didn't get much accomplished. Have my list of things I need to research, but am procrastinating. Can't seem to gather my will and begin the work that needs to be done. Keep thinking manana--that it will get done tomorrow, which is highly unlikely. I'm not feeling like I did last week (totally lethargic), but I'm not much further along.

Talked with my friend, P. I thought he had started radiation therapy this week. Turns out he starts next week. Power Healing thoughts his way. Talked with my friend, P, and wished her a happy birthday. Next year is her 80th. We talked about the fact that we've known each other for nearly 20 years. How it flies.

I talked with her about my need to come up with what I think I want to be doing, regardless of where I end up living. I realized last week that relocating makes no sense on it's own. What I plan to be doing when I move, where I move, is a more important issue to be resolved.

Let there be clarity, for a change. No more unedited movie scenes that are spliced together to form an endless reel of random scenarios.

6073

Dreams last night. One dealt with a toy under development that was using the same idea as a set of radiators that were being mounted on an automobile engine. There was a parallel idea for the toy that came from the engine design. The dream went on for quite some time and I was part of the development team that worked out the details for the toy.

A second dream involved dancing. A bunch of us were at some kind of conference. We were in a large meeting hall and someone started playing music. All of the dancers were scattered around the room. Some of us started doing a line dance just where we were standing. Others joined in and soon there were dancers moving everywhere. It was a joyful dream with everyone dancing and happy.

Made my list of checkoff items that need to be resolved regarding any move I plan on making--whether it be to Baja or elsewhere. Making myself mobile--that's the plan.

Been listening to the NPR news all day. Catching up on what's happening in the world--or at least what's being reported. Rove, Iraq, hurricane aftermaths, politics, and so much more. As I sat today drinking a smoothie for lunch, I watched the sea of traffic move past. It was never ending, non-stop, dense and manic. Now, the gardeners are making their noisy path through the late afternoon. They descended out of nowhere and began a blitz of mow, blow, and watering. I'm not sure if they are using the newer, low decibel blowers or not. Still loud here in the cave.

Went to the chiropractor today. My system is coming into alignment and balance, finally. Been a long road, but it seems to be coming to a resolution. Had some kinks from Tuesday night's dance class. Will probably add a few more with tonight's class, but motion is better than not being on the move.

Eight days left in my evaluation period regarding moving and changing locations. Still being entertained by Adah and her palindromes in the Poisonwood Bible. I'm realizing that I need to get clear about what it is I want to do when I make my move. Moving itself is not the single answer. There's more to do, more to be done than just move my body to another location.

6074

Dreams last night. Return of the Dream Machine. One dream involved a new place that had been bought by my friend B. He had purchased what looked like a set of storefronts in an old western town. The place on the right end was where he would live (or camp out). It was an old German Hofbrau-like place with stained glass windows and an old wooden door. It was bright orange in color and looked well kept.

The rest of the storefronts housed different kinds of businesses. In the storefront on the left end of the complex was a bar. Inside there was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. She was radiant and was incredibly attractive. Somehow, I ended up in the place with her. We were alone and as I was leaving she kissed me and told me to have a safe journey.

A second dream involved some kind of conference. It was the final session and the speaker was well known and eccentric. He came onto the scene, which was outdoors under the trees. He proceeded to get small groups of people to start doing things--singing, laughing, running, dancing, and so forth. He came over to a group under one of the trees and he threw himself into their cluster and laid back contented and ignored all else that was going on. It was as if a rogue wind had blown through the place and set all manner of things in motion, and then just let them continue as they were without nay direction or further control. The sense of it all was that of a carnival or faire with people just enjoying themselves and others as things unfolded. There was no plan or schedule--everything was happening spontaneously and joyfully.

Good session with GH today. She pointed me to some material by Eckhart Tolle and an author Almaas (Facets of Unity). Let her know what I'm wrestling with and gained some clarity regarding my fear states and mind states. Let her know that I'm now on the channel that nothing going on with me is physiological--that it's all mental--being created by mind and with me being silly enough to be listening and in some cases believing stuff that's being thought. Anyway, it was a good session even though I felt jumpy the whole time I was there (and before and after as well).

Spoke with my daughter today. She sounds good. Will see her on Sat and catch up on her Hurricane adventures.

Reading the Poisonwood Bible. Love the girl who thinks in palindromes. Must have been a challenge to come up with so many as Kingsolver did. Need to find a book by Effie Chow and see if it's something I should send my friend with the stroke. Have not heard anything about his brother's condition. P started radiation this week. Must call him tomorrow and see how he's doing. Lots happening, lots going on, but I'm not feeling overwhelmed. In fact , feeling just the opposite. Nice change for a change. Making my lists and checking them twice. Time to leap into sleep. Much to do in the morrow.

6075

Dreams have been elusive. I'm certain that I'm dreaming, but the influx of Spanish verbs and syntax plus other events seem to be crowding out dream memories.

Spent a lot of time catching up on my Spanish lessons. Am now caught up so I won't have to burn the media de noche candles to stay on track.

Ten days left in my decision window. My niece sent me some preliminary info on the place in Baja. It gave me a clear picture of where it's located and how I'll have to fend to get to town (12 miles/20 km). The palapa is on a playa (beach) that is frequented by RV's and campers (no hook ups). Appears to be a collection of taxis that can make the trip to town and back. Or, can hitch rides. The playa has two cafes and there are perhaps other places within walking distance.

Vendors come by daily with water, vegetables, fish, propane, etc. To refresh my pesos, I'd have to go to Santa Rosalia (2 hours by bus) or ask someone who's going there to withdraw cash and bring it to me. The good news is the palapa is not right in the middle of the town. The bad news, the palapa is not in the middle of the town.

Hurricane Otis seems to have given up the ghost and did not cross the peninsula as was forecast.

Dance class tonight. Will be good to move about and dance to the music.
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Dancing was OK. I started to get a bit tired. It was partly the dances--some were just slow and pokey. Not all that inspiring. Partly, I just ran out of steam. Had a big lunch, but it may have not been the best for me today. Perhaps should have stuck with as more liquid diet. I've been eating a lot of chunky foods--meats and carbs.

Anyway, I'm ready to hit the sack and dream the dreams. Called my daughter and wished her a happy birthday. My friend, P, has a birthday later this week. Ten more days left in my decision-making cycle. Weighing the options.

6076

Hurricane Otis go away! Come again some other day! And leave the Baja peninsula alone, especially around the area of Ciudad Mulege. Looks like that's going to happen.

Chiropractor seemed to notice some changes in my well being today. It's true. I'm feeling a lot better than I did even just a week ago. I'm also eating like a horse, for a change. Today was oatmeal, bananas, cinnamon toast, yogurt, carnitas burrito, vegan brownie--so far. There's still hours left in the day. Glad to be on the other side of the see-saw for a change.

Spent several hours studying Spanish lessons. Estoy aprendiendo espanol poco y poco.

Off to the Power Healing class this evening. Will come back afterwards and extend/complete this post.
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Got a call from my friend in Memphis who has had a stroke. His twin bother is in the hospital with a heart attack. What terrible karma! Both of them hit in the heart. The one in the hospital was having problems walking smoothly when I was there, but no hint of him being slammed like this. He was a heavy smoker and drinker.

Got info in Power Healing class about someone who's working with stroke victims. Effie Chow. Will have to look her up on the web.

PH class was good, but I didn't need the news I got afterwards about my friend's attack.

Hau, hau, hau. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am healing--I am already healed. The question is what am I too do with this gift of health.

The PH instructor was healed from a host of disabilities (spinal chord injury plus a lot more). She's teaching others how to heal. Is that a message?

6078-6077

Dreams last night were filled with violence and chaos. There were shootings and killings; people slashed and more. The intensity of the dream scenes awakened me. Not sure what triggered such macabre dreams. Could it have been the chocolate/strawberry cake I had late last night? Maybe so.

Spent several hours working on my Spanish lessons. Tengo mucho a hacer. Sent emails out to everyone letting them know that I'm starting to sort through the options. I've given myself until 10/14 to make a decision. I will make one then no matter what regarding my current living situation. The question will be whether I'm heading South to Baja or otherwise.

I'm feeling much better. I'm eating more and making sure I'm hydrated. Today has been a full day vis-a-vis some of this week's previous cycles. Haven't been very rigorous about posting too this blog for the past few weeks.

Anyway, tempis fugit, and the bird has but a little way to fly, and lo the bird is on the wing... A line from a highschool play that I once uttered. From the Rubiyat of Omar Khayam, or some such set of poetics. Time to fly.