4040

Dreamed last night that I was working with CW and BP on a game concept. It was a game that involved matching colors in two areas of the game screen. We had created a prototype and were playing the game to see how it worked. It was a fun dream.

Watched a movie tonight--Miss Potter. It's a bio-pic of Beatrix Potter's life and work. There were shots in the hills and countryside that reflected what she must have seen that appeared in her work. It was interesting to learn a few things about her and her life.

I spent some time looking up people on the Internet that I have known. It's interesting how much there is about people that can be viewed with a few keystrokes. Scary!

I'm tired tonight. Experienced my usual bout of redness and flushing today. I waited to later in the day to eat a midday meal. Had a little reaction before I ate, but not much. Definitely had a reaction after I ate. Will get more data on Monday after I see the PCP for a followup visit. Until then, let the redness roll!

4041

Slow day! Seems like it started a week ago and still has time to spare. I'm really tired though. The weight training class sort of zapped me. So, off to bed tonight. No movies! No dreams! April howls to an ending! Tornadoes and storms rule! To sleep I go!

4042

Did some moving in the movement class today. Felt good to move and stretch. Had a bout of redness and flushing after today's midday meal despite ingesting an antihistamine tablet before eating. Reaction lasted throughout the afternoon. I wonder what happens if I don't eat anything. I wonder if I'd have the same reaction around the same time. It would be like some systemic thing that's happening. Hmmm...! May try making a test tomorrow.

Watched Matrix Revolutions this evening. I think I may have seen it in the theater at some time. But, I recalled so little of it that it was like watching it for the first time. Overwhelming CGI work and really loud music! It's amazing that anyone was able to pull off such an extravaganza but they did. Movie keeps you going!

Dreamed last night about several situations where things were not working out. I was in a class and was trying to write down the solution to a mathematics problem. I couldn't get a drawing of the problem done correctly even though the problem was not all that complex. In another segment of the dream, I had parked a car on a steep driveway that required me to back up when I had to leave. I couldn't see what was behind me as I tried to back up and out. Seemed like there were other dream situations that had similar issues.

PD weight training tomorrow! Tote that barge! Lift that bale!

4043

Gait and balance class went well today. Came away sort of tired and ended up sleeping in the late afternoon. Had an episode of flushing and redness after midday meal. Antihistamine didn't seem to make any difference.

Watched a video of Glenn Gould doing the Goldberg Variations at the H's tonight. Amazing performance on his part. Haunting melodies and variations!

Movement class tomorrow! Move on, move on!

Dreamed last night about an earthquake. I was with some people and there was a dog that there that was acting strangely. I remarked that he was acting as if there was an imminent event of some form. About then, I started feeling a tremor and the place was caught up in an earthquake. There was a lot of chaos and turmoil.

4044

Short PD dance class today! Instructor had a rehearsal for a performance that she had to get to around midday. So, class was shortened.

I had to get up early in order to get to class early. I felt really good this morning even though I slept poorly last night. My energy levels and body flexibility was good. After eating a midday meal, I felt my energy drop and I had a reaction of redness and flushing. This happened despite me taking an antihistamine. I napped late in the afternoon.

Watched a movie Bad Lieutenant. It was a dreadful film done by Werner Hertzog. It was sloppy and mundane with lots of gratuitous sidetracks and actions. The lead character played by Nicolas Cage was never likable--just manic and crazy acting.

PD gait and balance tomorrow! Saw J&WB today at the PD institute. He looked fragile and weak. I came walking into the place with a strong gait and with a lot of energy. They both remarked on how good I looked. Comparatively, I did look better.

4045

Eventful day! Saw the PCP this morning re all the tests that were done for the redness/flushing I've been having. Nothing in the tests pointed to anything unusual. She tested for several outliers that might have been causing the reactions. Nothing came up that was way out of balance. I have low blood pressure and have had it for awhile. She put me on an antihistamine to see if that mitigates the symptoms over the next week. I'll be taking a 10mg tablet once a day of loratadine (Claritin) in addition to my regular doses. I took one pill today of the new stuff and got a bit sleepy in the afternoon. Still had redness and flushing though. Will see how it goes. Overall, I felt good today. Was a little jittery but less than usual. Maybe all of these remedies will balance things out.

Watched a Chinese film tonight Life on a String. It is an elaborate allegory that's set in the barren mountains of Mongolia. It follows a blind holy man and his blind apprentice as they seek to unravel the mysteries of enlightenment. It's a not to disguised wish for a better China. It was done in the early 1990s. It was a pleasant film but was somewhat unclear in the details. Great scenery though.

Dreamed an elaborate dream last night about being in a house. I had rented the place for a vacation. There was something off about the owner of the place and the dream explored the mysteries and strangeness. At one point, I awoke in the dream and thought I was in one of the rooms in the dream house. I was actually in my bedroom, but I thought I was in the dream. Slight disorientation!

PD dance class tomorrow--earlier than usual. That will make it two mornings in a row that I have to get up and out. Onward and onward!

4046

Easter! Feaster! I slept a lot in the morning (had a little trouble falling asleep last night and early morning). Feeling just a little bit wired. But did make it out and about. Did a walk in the park after eating a late midday meal. Felt good to walk but was tired out as the afternoon passed.

Doctor's appointment in the morning. Trying to find out what the flushing and redness is about. Turned bright red in the afternoon as meal was digested. When the heat happens, I feel logy and tired.

Watched a Turkish film tonight--Distant. I'd seen it before with the H's. Didn't recognize the cover but I definitely had viewed before. Good film.

Sai Baba has moved on! Blessings upon him and his eternal soul!

4047

Got up later than usual and did laundry. Not to many people doing laundry on Saturday before Easter. Slept poorly last night. Had a bit of trouble falling asleep. Think the 1mg new medication is leaving me jittery.

Had a fish burrito for midday meal. Turned bright red and had lots of flushing in the afternoon. Left me logy and wanting to sleep some. I did do a walk today in the park. Felt good even though I was feeling tense.

Watched Dead Man Walking this afternoon. Good movie! Lots of emotional content.

Had lots of dreams last night but they all slipped away as I awoke--at various times throughout the night and early morning. Seems like I got up about a dozen times or so.

Easter Sunday tomorrow! Nothing special planned. Hoppity, hop!

4048

Lifted those weights today! Small training class but it was still a workout. Felt good! I felt good today! Still feeling some adjustments based on the medication change. Mostly for the good! Although I do seem to be a bit jittery at time throughout the day. Weather was cool today which made the jitters more obvious.

Had a bout of redness/flushing from meal I had when I came back from class. The condition seemed to last for a while. I didn't nap again today in the afternoon. Went back to sleep after breakfast for a short rest.

Dreamed last night a couple of lengthy dreams. One had something to do with an old business partner. We had a job doing something that had to do with a puzzle. He and I worked on the prototype. We had it spread out across a couple of desktops. It was a maze-like structure with clues sitting at every junction and node. I also dreamed about the talking doll we had once developed. The dream involved testing out the speech patterns of the doll as she interacted with children.

Watched a film called Maryam tonight. It was about an Iranian family who had moved to the U. S. right before the Shah was deposed and the Ayatollah assumed control. The movie used footage from newscasts around that time of the Hostage standoff when Iran took control of the American Embassy. The plot revolved around the events of those times and how this family dealt with the upsurge of hostility and turmoil that was generated. The film has a totally improbable ending but is a good film overall.

4049

Movement class today was small and enjoyable. Didn't nap on and off today. Basically, woke up about normal time and then I was busy doing something for the rest of the day. Attribute the wakefulness to the 1mg of new medication. Feeling a bit jumpy but overall feeling good, awake, and clear.

Watched an English film--The Draughtsman's Contract. It's a somewhat mystery story, set in 1694, with period homes, gardens and costumes. It's like a very elaborate Agatha Christie-like plot set in a period facade. It was enjoyable but I'd not go out of my way to see it again.

PD weight training tomorrow. Good Friday! I think I hear the Easter bunny clomping down the street.

4050

Had a good gait and balance class today. Was feeling slightly dense but that may have been the result of getting up for the urine collection last night. I got up several times and had trouble sleeping. I felt like staying in bed this morning but got up and delivered the sample before heading for class. I've also started taking my new medication in 1mg size. I think that dosage is leaving me slightly wired. We'll see as the week progresses.

Watched another disappointing movie tonight. It was a French film--Muriel. It was directed by Resnais (Last Year at Marienbad, Night and Fog, Hiroshima Mon Amour and others). His heavy handed style is difficult to follow and to stay with as the film unrolls. He uses all manner of auditory cues that seem somehow misplaced. They pull my attention away from the action. He used a lot of still camera work in this movie, unlike the work in many of his other films.

Movement class tomorrow. Had a good lunch but also had an episode of redness/flushing as well. Napped for a short period. Felt a little tired from the gait and balance class today.

4051

PD dance class today! It was enjoyable and felt good to be moving more freely. Also I was moved by some of the people who are really struggling with the illness and still make the effort to move and dance.

Had lunch with my friend PH. It was good to see her and to not be in such a fog when we are together. I went up to a 1mg tablet of Azilect last night. I felt like I could really feel the difference today. I did take a short nap late in the afternoon, but I was awake more/better during the day. So far, I've been doing my 24-hour urine collection. All I can say is that I don't think I pee much. I have this big bottle for collection and I've barely filled it. Oh,well! Pee-less in PA!

Watched a awful film tonight. It was a Greek melodrama called A Matter of Dignity. The acting was over the top in almost every scene. The story was a pastiche of obvious situations that didn't really push things along. Can't all be good! This one can be skipped and nothing will be missed.

PD gait and balance tomorrow. Onward and onward!

4052

Had a doctor's appointment today. I like the new PCP. She's really young (looks like she's about 18). Ironically she's a geriatric specialist. She listened to my litany of data regarding the redness/flushing I've been experiencing. Based on what I told her, she ordered some blood panels and a urine analysis. Tomorrow, I do a 24-hour collection of urine for the testing. Have a followup with her next week once we have the test results. I had some redness/flushing today but I only ate mostly dairy and fruit.

Read another chapter with GH from the Ishiguro book. Narrative is getting intense. Went to the H's for movie night. We watched a DVD performance of Brad Mehldau, an amazing pianist. He has really unique phrasing and riffs. It was an enjoyable evening.

PD dance class tomorrow along with my urine collection and lunch with friend PH. Also up my dosage of Azilect to 1mg tonight. Will be interesting to experience what happens.

4053

Good day! Awoke early but took medication and went back to sleep. Got up and had breakfast and slept some more. Got out and about running errands and such. Got a call from the H's regarding me sitting with BH since she had a dizzy spell. GH had a show tonight and they needed someone to be with her while he was out. I went over around 7pm and stayed for a few hours. It was so quiet in their place compared to where I live. It was really peaceful to be in such a quiet space.

Up early tomorrow! Have an appointment with PCP regarding redness/flushing. Had an episode today after getting some food in the afternoon. Wasn't too bad but it was there.

So, to bed tonight! Full moon glowing in the sky!

4054

A day of sleep and more! Got up fairly early (after getting up really early to take my morning meds). After breakfast, ended up back in the sack for a snooze. Then got out and about for a while. Ran some errands and grabbed some food (fish, rice, mac and cheese). Had a short episode of flushing and redness, but not too bad. Ate quite a lot today--I was craving food.

Watched a Canadian mystery film this afternoon. It's part of a series of films built around a gay private investigator. The storyline was mediocre and not all that mystifying. The plot wandered all over the place while touching upon murder(s), child porno, international criminals, and numerous other sidetracks and diversions. I wouldn't recommend looking for other films in the series.

Bumped into JV today. He's quite the upbeat person for someone confined to a wheel chair. He told me about a clinical trial he's enrolled in and an exercise class that he's doing once a week. It's always enlightening to stop and talk with him.

Didn't win the MegaMillion lottery last night. It went to someone in NY. That's two in a row for the NY crowd! Time to send some winning out this way.

4055

Welcome to the Ides of April! PD weight training went well today. Lift those weights! I felt a bit weak going in but felt worked out by the end of things. Had a bit less redness/flushing after eating today. Still had some reaction but overall it went smoothly. No nap this afternoon (although I did take a short snooze after eating breakfast. I'm getting tired now but it's a good kind of tiredness.

Watched a movie tonight--In the Valley of Elah. It's a film about soldiers who return from war and end up doing inexplicable things--in this case killing one of their own. It was a tight film that was done with a lot of in your face action. It was a mystery story that kept unraveling surprises right up until the end. Alas, it's a story about a war that's already been forgotten except for those that were there (Iraq). The core set of actors were very good. It was an arresting piece of cinema.

I was asked today what did I have planned for the weekend. I've been asked that before over the span of the past two years. Each time I'm asked, I feel jolted by the fact that I have no plans. I am planless! I approach each weekend as a two-day bridge separating the other five days of the week. In those five days, I make some limited plans, but the weekends are lost and gone.

4056

Movement class was small today. Only four people plus the instructor. One person had to leave early--she was feeling like she had some kind of stomach flu. There's been something going around.

I had a strong reaction to the food I ate in the afternoon. Redness and flushing began after I ate and is still taking place. Will make an appointment tomorrow to see my new PCP and see what this reaction is about.

Watched the movie The Lion in Winter. It is a dramatization of part of the life of Henry II and some of the twists and turns of his rule during that period. There were several well-known actors involved. The film garnered three Oscars. It was good movie but not one I'd go out of my way to see it again.

PD weight training tomorrow and a puzzlement as to what I can eat that doesn't trigger redness and flushing. Always something new! Round and round I go!

4057

PD gait and balance class was not very engaging today. We didn't seem to do much. The class was lightly attended, which is unusual. I guess some people didn't get the heads-up that there was no class last week. They showed up for a class and were disappointed. So they boycotted the class this week.

I had a fairly good day. Had some disorientation when I started today's class, but that cleared up quickly. Had a redness/flushing episode after I had a midday meal (light mujadara dish with tabbouleh and hummus--nothing wild). I didn't nap in the afternoon today. Symptoms are more active today/tonight. Might just be the cooler weather and dampness.

Watched a Truffaut film Love on the Run. It's the last in a series of films he made over a period of 20+ years using the same actors as they aged. The film ends the cycle and wraps up (via flashbacks) how the protagonist ends up as he does in this segment. The film stands on its own and is enjoyable without knowing anything about the previous movies.

Movement class in the morrow! Today is lucky 13 day! Have to check the lottery!

4058

PD dance class was short on dancing today. It seems like it was everybody's birthday and the celebration ate (in all senses of the word since there was ample cookies and nibbles) into dance time. But happy birthday everyone! Many, many more!

Watched a Russian movie by Tarkovsky tonight called The Mirror. It was a somewhat intriguing "stream of consciousness" film that jumped around in space and time. It was a mysterious, perhaps semi-autobiographical journey into the director's past, present and future. It became slightly tedious but I'm going to check out some of his other films. As I said, it was somewhat intriguing.

Didn't nap this afternoon. I'm a bit tired now and will soon head for the bed. PD gait and balance on the menu for tomorrow. Revised medication still seems to be helping minimize symptoms as well as increasing energy and clarity. Let there be meds!

4059

Had an intense redness/flushing episode this afternoon. I had eaten some bananas and sour cream and also had a serving of chicken, rice and broccoli from the hot bar at the grocery store. About an hour after eating the hot bar meal, I became red and heavily flushed. I didn't have much of a reaction from the bananas and sour cream. Need to have this phenomenon checked by the PCP doctor. I think I've seen enough to be able to give a good description to the physician. More pills no doubt!

Heading to the H's for a movie night tonight. We've switched to Mondays for movies. I read a chapter of Ishiguro's book today. We're getting close to completing the story.

PD dance class tomorrow. Dance on!

4060

Had an OK day! Slept a lot into the morning and afternoon. Had several episodes of redness/flushing after eating. Didn't seem to make much difference what foods; I still had reactions. Ate quite a lot today. I'm feeling hungry so I've been eating more.

Watched a mystery/thriller film Lantana. Lantana is a type of flowering plant. The movie used a theme of people's lives interconnecting--for good and for not so good. The plot was clever but contrived and not very believable. The cop in the story would not have been able to get around his connections with witnesses and suspects the way he did. Just not very likely!

Feeling heavy and tired tonight. Felt fairly clear and energetic today, but I'm fading as the night comes near. I'm skipping out on the CW dance class. I missed the first class and I just don't feel like getting up early and slogging my way through the class. Still scheduled to go to the H's for the book reading. Have to pick up a prescription refill tomorrow. Picked up and deposited the T-C IRA stipend that is paid annually. Not a lot of money, but every bit is appreciated.

4061

Had a good day! Finally got out and did my laundry. I felt like I was slow folding clothes from the dryer, but was less shaky than I've been. I'm a little shaky now but I'm about to take my bedtime dosages.

Still getting redness/flushes no matter what I eat. Something has tweaked my metabolism and set it askew. I'm more hungry than usual--I want to eat more food. I slept in really late this morning. It was cool and I just wanted to stay wrapped and swaddled. So, I did just that!

Watched a French film Code Unknown. It was an adventurous piece of cinema by the director of The Piano Teacher. It was a somewhat puzzling episodic array of vignettes that were loosely linked. Some of the cuts and shifts were aggravating and some were puzzling. Oh, well! Can always view again and see if it makes more sense.

I've been dreaming but not remembering much of what goes by. Didn't nap today (got up so late). Feeling ready for some sleep. Adieu!

4062

Had a good day again today! Yahoo! Made it to PD weight training and hefted the weights. Mainly, I felt good today--good energy and lighter symptoms. Didn't nap in the afternoon, but am tired now. So, I'm quickly to bed tonight.

Budget fiasco is over, hopefully, for now! The game of brinkmanship that was displayed was silly and clown-like. What a waste of resources!

Anyway, as promised, I'm out of here tonight! Adios!

4063

Had a good day! Give credit to the medication changes. Overall today, I felt awake, alert and clear. Symptoms were moderate and I didn't get tired in the afternoon. I'm a little tired right now, but my energy is up.

Had a light bout of redness/flushing after I ate some food after class. I'm starting to think that the type of food is not so much the trigger--just the fact that I ingest something. Breakfast in the morning still doesn't set off any reactions. It's the midday and evening meals that seem to have the most effect, especially the midday ones.

Watched an awful movie tonight--River's Edge. It's such a dumb movie I won't even spend the time laying out the story. Nearly every character in the film was hard to like and the plot was ultra lame.

Movement class was small today but enjoyable. Weather turned cool again and there was some rain. I could feel the weather changes in various ways, but overall the day went well.

4064

Had a strange day! Didn't have any classes and I spent the entire day doing nothing. Woke up late and did go back to sleep around noon. My energy level was good when I awoke, but it became muddy as the day progressed. I didn't have the full clarity that I had on Tuesday. I was somewhat clearer than usual, but I wasn't at full speed. Had a little trouble getting to sleep last night. I think I was awakened in the really early morning which disrupted things.

I was on my new medications and dosages last night, but it didn't result in the effects I experienced on Tuesday. Will continue for a month though and see what happens.

Headed to the H's tonight for a movie. Movement class tomorrow. Every day another play! What can I say? Hooray, hooray!

4065

Well, the change in medication last night had a great outcome--I felt wonderful today. I felt clear and energized. Maybe it's just the placebo effect, but I'll take it.

I changed my nighttime dosage of my regular medication from 150mg to 100mg. I also added a 0.5mg dose of Azilect (a monoamine oxidase Type B inhibitor --MAOI--a minuscule antidepressant) that has been proven effective in mitigating PD symptoms and also slowing down the progression of the illness (is neuroprotective). I'll be taking the light dosage for two weeks and then switching to a 1.0mg dosage in the second two weeks. At the end of a month, we'll evaluate how this mix worked and possibly lower my initial medication levels.

What Azilect does is help the brain retain neurochemicals, such as dopamine, by inhibiting the brain's cleansing activities. PD has caused the dopamine levels to drop down. The medications work (in different ways) to keep the dopamine levels up to par.

I made it to PD dance class today (which went well) and had an acupressure/tuina session in the afternoon. I also broke my "fast" and had some vegetables, rice and chicken for dinner. I had a short redness/flushing session at midday after eating some bananas and cottage cheese (Huh!!!??). The dinner tasted good and was very satisfying. Wonder what the morrow brings?

4066

Seemed like a long day today. I was awakened last night right after I went to sleep. There was an ambulance and a squad of EMTs in front of the building. Someone was being taken to hospital (as the British say). Took me a while to get back to sleep. I then had to get up and out this morning for the doctor's appointment.

The doctor listened to my description of symptoms and we agreed to reduce my third dosage of Stalevo at bedtime. I will also add a single dosage of Azilect at bedtime. I'll start with a .5 dose for two weeks and then move to a 1.0 dose. After a month, we'll do an evaluation and see if that moderates everything or not. I hate to begin the process of working to get the right drug cocktail, but I clearly have to do something to try and moderate the symptoms. The doctor said I was looking good overall. He remarked on how strong my voice sounded.

Watched a movie tonight--Taking Chance. It was about one soldier's wrestling match with feeling guilty that he wasn't in combat. He volunteers to accompany a soldier's body as it is returned to be buried. It was an OK film but somewhat propagandic.

PD dance tomorrow and an acupressure session on the books. Looking forward!

4067

April showers, not! No rain upon the plains today. Had a mixed day in terms of symptoms. Woke up feeling OK, but as day went on I kept getting more and more tired. Napped some but that didn't really help. Also had a flushing/redness episode in the afternoon after I had lunch (dairy and fruit). Breakfast didn't trigger any reactions, but lunch did (bananas and cottage cheese--go figure!). Feeling tired and achy tonight. Heading for the bed early. Have appointment with neurologist tomorrow, in the morning. Time for a check-in.

Still processing the movie I watched yesterday--Touching the Void! A powerful film that makes a powerful point--never quit. The human spirit can endure much more than we think it can. Even on the threshold of certain death, we can make choices that completely defy the odds.

I need to be making such choices! I'm letting huge blocks of time go by without doing anything, just letting the moments slip past into oblivion. I am so tired of doing so--I want to feel aliveness once again. Darkness and dread have overwhelmed my vision. I want more than what I've currently been accepting as the limits of my realities.

4068

Spent a quiet day today. Got out some to run some errands, but mostly just hung out (more so than I usually do, if that's possible). My dairy/fruit diet seems to be working. I didn't have any flushing/redness reactions today. I had to eat a bit more frequently, but I can handle that. My PD symptoms were fairly quiet today. Had a few short periods of activity, but mostly at ease.

Watched an incredible film Touching the Void. It's a sort of documentary treatment of an actual event where two climbers got in trouble on the return route of a climb. One person fell and broke his leg. The other tried to bring him back but ended up having to cut the rope to which they were attached. The climber with the broken leg fell into a crevasse. They both independently made their way back to base camp. The climber with the damaged leg went through a life-changing ordeal as he found his way back. It was an incredible feat on their parts and makes for a nail-biting drama in how they made it happen. The film is a testament to the human spirit and what a person can endure and survive.

Makes me dissatisfied with how little I seem to be able to get myself to do. I'm not plagued with a mountain of ice, winter storms, serious life-threatening injuries, or anything close to what those two men were dealing with. Yet, I only seem to be able to keep a minimum of things together around me. The past five years have sped past with me stuck inside myself, unable to move out and handle the least of things. I grow old but I don't grow bold!

4069

Long day! So it seemed! Got up a bit early this morning but didn't have the weight training class until the early afternoon. I'm sticking with a diet of dairy and fruit although it leaves me a bit weak. Got a bit more evidence that salt is a culprit. Bought some cottage cheese and noticed that it had about 14% sodium per serving. After I had a dish, my face reddened and flushed. It was not as intense as it has been in the past, but there was a reaction. No salt!

I made it through the PD weight training session despite the low energy and warm weather. I felt slightly weak before the class but I maintained with 10-lb dumbbells.

Supposed to have some rain tomorrow. Maybe a little cooling. Have scheduled an appointment with my neurologist for Monday morning. Will discuss with him what to do about my medication. Been a while since we've seen each other. Guess I'll be seeing him more often.