1984

And it's the Orwell post--by accident not by intention. I did a shower today--and washed my head and the area around the surgery wound. It seems that I'm going to have a scar tissue lump--trading one lump for another.

I continue to flounder around--not getting traction but only sliding about. Picked up my newly-tiered medications today--with a $300 copay. That's a dollar a pill--plus a big push toward the donut hole. Have to look into getting them via mail order--and seeing if there is a price break by doing so.

Winds are starting to wind down--they were blowing heavy this morning and for most of the day. The feeling of the wind blowing against me is pleasurable--I feel like I'm being sailed away, pushed forward and floating.

Daughter is feeling better--she had a rough week. Appears that she came down with a rather virulent flu...and ended up not sleeping, eating, hydrating. She's better now--after visits to the ER and Urgent Care.

Granddaughter was said to be in the top of her class--this was after she was told a few months ago that she was failing her grade level. BH, her stepfather, spent a lot of time with her--and helped her pull up her grades and her attitude.

1985

Daze of whine and poses--feeling like it's all fuzz and buzz. Can't seem to find a groove where I'm not feeling funky--and can't seem to get into a mode that doesn't have this funk around it.

Moved the PD drug prescription from Walgreens to Raley's--don't think it will change anything but will helps set up a mail order option that might be cheaper. I'll have to go through all of this when the fall changeover comes about--in the meanwhile, I wrestle with the uncertainties and ennui.

And with the medical miasmas--that surround everything I've done, do, and will do. Future becomes past--and now becomes empty. All is strange and imbalanced--like I tripped this morning getting out of the car and almost went down. Caught myself--and caromed off the car parked next to me so that I came up standing. I was surprised that I did what I did--both the tripping and the save.

Windy and cool today--actually very bracing and activating. No mail came yesterday--the postman must have decided to go skiing or snowboarding. Would do the same if I could--but I'm caught in my own web and am flailing to get free.

Haven't heard from my daughter--about how she's doing after last night's events. Just saw her--and she's still not well. I feel like there's nothing I can do--hopeless and helpless is how I feel. Out of sync with the cosmos--rattling through the universe and spinning off into the void. Has to be something I can shift--something I can change that will pull me free.

1986

Got a shock today when I picked up my prescription order--copay for PD medication was $300. It is for a 90 day supply--or 270 tablets or about $1 per pill. But I was surprised that I was in the donut hole already--since this was my first prescription of that drug this year. But I guess that the Azilect has gone up a lot--and I've had three refills so far this year.

I reduced the dressing on the surgical wound to a single large patch--the patch that we installed yesterday came loose. It's difficult for me to put a patch on the wound--it's up and under my left ear and around toward the back of my head.

I haven't gone for a walk yet today--and am considering not doing one. Yesterday's walk felt good--but it also made me experience my right leg freezing up and not moving well. I am bummed
by all of this--the illness, the wound, the patch, the feeling of going backwards, and my feeling of being out of control, and drifting toward the edge of nothingness.

Time to get the mail--waiting for checks from IRS and pension. Need to request a check for the IRA account--going to need extra cash since everything is more expensive this year versus previous periods. Bummer, bummer, bummer--and more bummer!

1987

Like moving through molasses--life is doing that. Day by day the wheel keeps turning--spinning around and around. But I keep feeling like I'm running out of energy--running out of my ability to keep going, and going, and going.

Some uncertainty regarding medications resolved itself--I'll be covered through any possible transition to a new neurologist.

Should be getting a couple of checks in the mail--that will cover things for the next few months until I hit the donut hole with the meds.

My ex has announced (sort of) her upcoming marriage to her current partner--it will be her 5th wedding. I thought they should do it on the upcoming weekend--the one that contains April Fools Day! No harm meant--just humor that came to me as I perused the calendar.

I have to decide if I'm going to make it to dance class tomorrow--to restart my cycles of exercise and movement. I'm experiencing really low energy--until I down a caffeine drink or something that awakens my systems.

I will head out for a short walk this afternoon--weather is really nice and there is a bracing wind. If nothing else, I'll start doing a walk everyday no matter what else I do. Got to keep moving--can't sit still and atrophy.

1988

Warp into the week--PD support group this morning. I decided to go and am glad I did--it was good to touch base with everyone. People's stories are many and varied--and some are having to struggle a lot. The only thing I don't have is a personal caregiver--many others have someone and it must make their lives less anxious.

The support group leaders are dealing with all manner of issues--PD, cancer, an aging parent, and probably more.

I need to start doing some form of exercising--something that will let me bridge from my current state back to my full exercise program. Right now I'm just drifting through the days--and no doubt losing some of what I had gained over the past year or so.

I had a big burger today for lunch--and a yogurt and vital red with prune juice for dinner. I had several cookies/muffins at the meeting--and a green tea Frap in the afternoon. Plenty of calories--no balancing exercise.

I received a decline from the medical group regarding using an out-of-network movement specialist--not unexpected. They pointed me to a neurologist--I'll see him and at least make sure I can continue getting medication.

It's quiet here today--my daughter's family is fighting off some bug.

1989

Managed to take a shower today--without getting the wound wet. I had not showered since Thursday--the evening of the surgery.

I found multiple references to taking the drug Norco--saying not to take it with medications for PD among other considerations. That's twice I've been given a prescription for a drug that should not be prescribed--especially when I am taking Azilect (rasagiline) as part of my PD therapies. The dentist had once prescribed that pain killer--for pain after a surgical procedure. Lucky for me I had little pain in both cases--and never filled the prescription.

I'm debating whether or not to remove the dressing for the surgical wound--whether it would be better to let it be rather than removing and refreshing the covering. Will decide soon--and either have my daughter do the deed or let it go until it gets raggedy. I'd probably be able to sleep better if the original dressing is cleared--I'm not sleeping on my left side so I don't remove the bandage inadvertently.

I'm getting all kinked up--by not exercising and not moving around a lot. I'm going to have a challenging time getting back into shape--once I'm able to resume dancing and boxing activities. So that's the plan--but time is moving slowly and I'm getting antsy regarding doing something/anything to begin to restore my routines.

1988-1986

Lost days--where did they go? Spent Thursday waiting for an operating table--4+ hours while they sorted through their priority, triage debates. Finally sent under around 5pm--awoke two hours later with no memory of where I'd been or done.

Friday went by in a blur--I was alright. No pain or such--only a light soreness that still persists. Can't sleep on my back--have to not put pressure on my left side where the surgery was done.

Today, I'm really achy--getting muscle spasms in my back. Appears to be the ribs acting up--some reverb from the injury. Bummed out since I'm not doing any exercise--looking like I'll not be able to do much for a couple of weeks. I called and set up an appointment for a follow up exam--couldn't get anything sooner than two weeks. That seems like a lifetime for now--a long time to be doing nothing.

I was given a prescription for a drug that is supposed to not be given to people with PD--a demerol type drug (NORCO). Fortunately, I didn't need pain killers--and I had checked for the contraindications that are mentioned in the hospital's release notes.

So much for health safety in a hospital--which by the way was one of the more awful places I've been in. It was noisy and chaotic--with hardly anyone coming by to check on me. 4 hours of laying and waiting--with no information concerning what was going on. I'll never go to that place again--and perhaps will never undergo any more medical procedures.

The nurse who did the discharge--was the only personable human that I encountered during my lengthy wait for treatment. She was very supportive--and keyed in on my declared age and physical conditions. She said that she thought someone had entered the incorrect data about me--that I couldn't possibly be as old as I was declared to be. Her comments were the first  words of hope that I experienced throughout the ordeal--I don't recall her name but I send her my heartfelt thanx...

1989

Tomorrow is lipoma day--my ribs are still tweaking. BH is setting things up so he can take me--and pick me up. Everything is a bit chaotic--what with people going in all directions.

The hospital called today and said they wanted to have me arrive earlier--they didn't shrink the pickup time just wanted me there earlier.

I've eaten lightly today--and have wrestled with my rib tweaks all day. I have to admit that I'm a little concerned about the surgery--given that my ribs are still sore.

Overall, I'm feeling bummed by the rib injury--and the prospect of the surgery impacting my boxing/dancing regime. Having to stop the exercise programs cold turkey--is not what I want to do. But, aches will be aches--and pains will be pains. After tomorrow, everything will be on a different track--I'll just have to go with the flow and deal with what happens as it happens.

I'm fortunate to have the help that I have--and for me to be where I happen to be. Many are certainly much more challenged than I--I am grateful for the blessings that I have. This too shall pass--and it all will come out in the end (a la Colbert).

In 24 hours (or less) all will be revealed--or it won't.

1990

Trager today--some discomfort but light manipulation will help speed up the healing. Looks like the injury is primarily soft tissue damage--not a broken rib. Will cold/hot patch it over the next few days--and then it will be a matter of how long will I have to let it be.

I picked up a new battery for my telephone--it's a costly item but have to replace it when it stops holding a charge. I'm amazed that there is a place where I could just go in--and pick up a replacement.

MD approached me around dinner time--wanting me to order some pizzas. BH had prepared a dinner--one of their typical Tuesday night spreads. He had prepared some chicken cordon bleu, vegetables, garlic bread, and more--don't know why MD wanted pizza. I ordered a personal combination pizza for me--and ordered a medium cheese per MD's request. I knew it was going to be a lot of pizza--we'll have more than enough for lunch/dinner tomorrow.

I'm planning to go to dance class tomorrow--dancing doesn't seem to aggravate the tweaked ribs. I just need to get the details regarding Thursday surgery--so I can let BH know what to expect in taking me there and back. I assume that the floor nurse would be contacting me in the morning--if not then I'll have to call her. There are issues regarding food/drink, my PD medications and anesthesia, recovery times, timing of the day, and more--lots of details. Need to know them sooner--rather than later.

1991

Spring into the season--and find the juice of life. My rib(s) have been continuing to hurt--despite the cold/hot patches and trying to not aggravate the injury. Bummer--hot in summer!

Will keep being careful--and see what the Trager lady says about it all tomorrow. Hopefully, everything will smooth out before Thursday--the day I'm losing my lipoma.

If I lose my lipoma--will they give me a diploma?

I really miss exercise--I had a good lunch today at the BBQ place. But I'm still feeling tweaky--since I'm not exercising as I was before my 101st RSB session.

I'm about to step out and head for SB's--get that afternoon boost from a latte or a Frap.

I'm logy and foggy--can't seem to wake up enough. This too shall pass--it's all come out in the end!

1992

Ribs are still hurting some--despite the cold/hot patches. Probably not going to be able to do an RSB class until it's fully healed--I skipped both RSB and dance yesterday. Didn't sleep very well last night--was up/down a lot.

I was up late--doing something on the computer. I don't recall what I was doing--I was working to make sure that a security feature was activated in my search engine. For some reason the feature was turned off--and the place where it is turned on is not all that obvious. For a while, I was chasing down forum messages regarding the feature--which finally routed me to the correct place. It's still not obvious that the feature is activated--an alert that used to show when the feature is turned on no longer persists when a new window is selected. Technology--can live with it and can't live without it now. It's embedded in everything we do--and getting more so as new tech is introduced.

I just got a pedicure--good treatment with a combination of cleaning and massaging. My feet are happy--and they won't look so bad when I get surgery later this week. The place where I get the treatment does manicures and pedicures--done by a bevy of Asian women. The service is very good--quick and thorough. I overtip--but I appreciate the service and feel like the technicians deserve more than just their share of the service fee.

1994-1993

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day--and everything was green. I went to dance class--and did well given my rib injury I had gotten on Thursday. The cold/hot patches work well--and relieved the soreness.

I spent the evening with my granddaughter--we did a pizza and played "There's a Moose in the House." She went to bed around 10pm--and I napped on/off until her parent's came home around midnight.

I had planned to go to RSB this morning--but my ribs were complaining. I ended up not going to RSB or dance class--I slept instead.

I'm feeling a bit lost--especially since I'm not going to classes. I'm having difficulty thinking about having to miss classes because of the rib injury and the upcoming surgery. My son-in-law will be shuttling me to the surgery and back--thank goodness for that.

About time for me to head to SB's--for my afternoon Frap. And then perhaps another nap--or something. I had my morning drink and pastry--will be having pizza for dinner.

1996-1995

The Ides of March yesterday--and BCH's birthday #1! I danced yesterday--and felt good afterward.

I went to an RSB session today--and discovered that yesterday was my 100th RSB session since I began the program. I also tweaked one of my ribs in an RSB activity--rolling on the floor. I've done it before--and I've done it again. Bummer--it's probably going to moderate my sessions up through the lipoma removal next week and possibly beyond.

I put a cold/hot patch on the area--upper right rib area. I also need to identify someone to take me to the surgery center next Thursday--I have to have someone to get me there and back.

I also have to get the info I need--to be with my granddaughter tomorrow evening while her parents celebrate their 6 month marriage anniversary. They will be out late--so I should nap some tomorrow in order to be in shape for the activity into the evening.

I also said I would investigate getting an AC company to check the AC system--I can do that next week especially if I'm not boxing or dancing. Bummer--bummer, double bummer!

So much for having everything worked out--it's all up in the air and I feel frenzied.

1997

RSB today--12 people plus 2 observers. Tough workout--at stations we did 2.5 minutes of activity followed by 30 seconds of doing another task. Each station's activities were repeated 3 times. There were 5 stations--so we kept moving for 45 minutes plus 2 laps around the building. Whew--rock steady!

One of the men tripped and fell--he banged up his knees and elbows. Ouch--not a lot of fun!

I just got a call from the medical people--setting up a time for my surgery to remove the lipoma on my neck. The person that I talked with was marginally unintelligible--her accent was thick and she mispronounced a lot of words. I just listened intently--and managed to get the basic data regarding the place, time, and date. It appears that the procedure will take up the whole afternoon next week--I'll have to have a chaperone--it's looking like they will give me a general anesthesia.

I also will need to get information on what I'll be able to do after the surgery--how much of my exercise program I'll still be able to do.

POTUS looks like he's destroying all manner of things associated with the country's programs--lots of people are going to be on the unemployment lines when it's all over (assuming it can ever be over). My worry is what is going to happen to my medical insurance--which seems that it is not going to survive the purge. Going to be a lot of people with illnesses--that are not going to be covered by adequate services.

1998

RSB this morning--with a lot of running since the day was so sunny. For the lap around the building I ran with the lead group--until we hit the home stretch where I sprinted ahead of everyone. I was surprised that I could do a kick like that--it took some effort but I was able to do it.

The overall RSB session was a good workout--my Fitbit shows over 4500 steps which can all be attributed to this morning's workout. We had 16 people in the class--the coach said that they have 70 people signed up at this time and expect to go to 100.

MD is acting oddly--she seems to be sad and weepy. Her caregiver, A, didn't come today--even though she had her name on the calendar. Supposedly she's coming tomorrow--MD wants to go shopping and spend some of her tax refund. The hubbub of the previous week is catching up for her--and she is now past the century mark.

Time marches on--and eventually it marches past everyone!

2001-1999

I didn't post the past two nights--I was absorbed with all of the classes I was taking and the visitors that were around for several days. Thursday was a double day plus--RSB, doctor appointment, and dance class. Did a dance class on Friday--and a RSB and dance class on Saturday. Today was DST clock changes--and the only thing I did was complete my tax returns and file them. I'll be getting back a small amount of money--the deductions I made in making my IRA withdrawals. I'm glad that I can use TT--it makes filing easy and painless.

Tomorrow is a RSB session--but nothing else. On Saturday, I clocked 12,000 steps on my FitBit--the most I've ever done. Double days get me to the 10,000 mark--I only do about 7,000 on days without two activities.

With the DST shift (spring forward)--I've started taking my medications at 7, 12, and 5. This keeps the biological clock the same for the medications--I just have to shift my meals a bit but not my medications. I think that makes sense--only changing one thing (the clock) and keeping the medications on the same schedule.

I'll do my laundry tonight--and probably fall asleep at some weird time because of the clock changes.
Ho, ho, ho--it's off we go!

2004-2002

Did a big double day today--RSB in the morning, dance in the afternoon, doctor's appointment, and lots of other things. I did just over 10,000 steps--my Fitbit is happy.

RSB was rigorous--we did a lot of different things (running, core work, bag work, and more). At the end, I was sweating heavily--which felt good.

Went to the PCP's office--and got an EKG which showed no problems. I also initiated a request for a movement disorder specialist--I suggested that it be the new doc in town, Erica Byrd. She's just starting her practice--and should be up to date on all of the issues with PD. She's also closer than my current MDS--she's in Roseville which is where I take the RSB sessions.

Somehow, I missed doing posts the past two nights--I had the Trager session on Tuesday and slept well that night. Last night, I started my tax returns--and I zoned out while I was gathering the initial data. I plan on completing the returns over the coming weekend--and filing them.

My daughter has several guests staying overnight--girlfriends and their kids. Tomorrow there is just a dance class--on Saturday I plan to do the early morning RSB session and then go to the Rescue dance class. Another double day--to keep me on my way.

2005

We had a full RSB class this morning--14 people. We did a rigorous set of activities--plank and core work and intense boxing sessions. The time seemed to go quickly--and I came away tired but refreshed. I had a full week--something every day for 2 to 3 hours counting travels times.

I went for lunch at the BBQ place--and came home and zoned out for a couple of hours. Lunch was a big plate of pasta--with a chicken parmigiana filet and lots of tomato sauce. There is plenty left over for dinner--and I just went and picked up a mocha macchiato (actually two since the 2nd was free).

Weather is really chilly--the wind knifes through my jacket and there is some rain as well. Is that March coming in like a lion?--will it leave like a lamb?

POTUS continues his battle with himself--and the repercussions that is creating everywhere and with everything. Four more years of this silliness is difficult to contemplate--and all of the weirdness that it's bound to deliver.

Tomorrow is RSB in the morning--and a Trager session in the late afternoon.

2006

The party is over--and there's still a lot of cake left. Quiet has descended on the house--except for the normal noises of washer, drier, kids, and people moving about.

I'll be heading out to the FO dance in a few hours--it rained last night and is now undecided as to whether it's going to be sunny or cloudy. In any case it's cooler--tonight is supposed to be cold.

I think I had lots of dreams last night--right now I don't recall the specifics but I seem to remember dreaming.

I just bumped into one of the PD support group members at SB's--I got his name wrong. We recognized each other--he was with a friend of his wife, perhaps a sister of the wife. The place was noisy and I couldn't hear what he was saying--but we spoke a bit about boxing and I told him I was heading to dance.

I slept pretty well last night--but I feel like I could sleep more but I also feel like I want to be moving.

2007

Today was the Party 101 event--which came off well despite having an overflow crowd. This house is not laid out for lots of people all at once--and today they all came at once. But everyone managed--and things came off well despite the lack of space.

I went to the Saturday morning RSB session--and I'm glad I did. It left me a little quiet--but I felt better for going. I came home to the party being already underway--so I downed a V8 energy drink and ate some food from the ample buffet. The party was noisy and busy--with kids running allover the place.

There were three cakes--in the shape of a number 1 followed by two in the shape of two zeroes (100). There was a smaller cake for the grandson--with the number 1 for his upcoming birthday. MD sat through all of the festivities--which I found it difficult to do. The grandson got a treasure of presents--more than he really needs but very generous on the part of the aunts, uncles, and relatives.

It's raining now--sounds like it's coming down heavily. Fortunately for the party--it cited until the evening to start coming down.

Tomorrow there's a dance at the FO room--which I'm planning to attend. I'll probably be somewhat jumbled with my dancing--but it will do me good to go and move about. We did a lot of sideways movement in today's RSB session--will see if that translates to movement in dancing which is where I've been having difficulties.

2008

Fry Day--and the Party 101 is on its weigh! I'm heading for RP dance class--and considering doing an early morning RSB tomorrow. But the party starts just about the time I would come back--so will see what happens as things unfold.

I was zonked last night--after the boxing and dancing activities. I'm still feeling somewhat muddy today--perhaps dancing will wake me up or something.

I had a green tea latte--and just drank a V8 Power drink. I'm sort of treading water until the dance class begins--I rested for a bit but just wanted to be up and about instead of horizontal.

100 years and counting--MD has turned 100! She's not exactly clear about the party tomorrow--but will no doubt join in as the event unfolds. I'm considering putting notes are around that show 100 year equivalents--in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months. The numbers are staggering--when unfolded and displayed.

Reminds me that I'm perhaps in my last 20%--that I've already consumed 80% of my allotment. Not a happy thought--especially with the final 20 having to do with age and illnesses. The time goes quickly--much to quickly on this side of the run. The clocks keep counting--the second hand keeps clicking.

2010-2009

Made it to RSB and FO dance today--and I can tell I did it. RSB was tough--C's husband led the class and he focused more on boxing. I was sloppy in dance class--my feet and legs felt like they didn't want to move.

There's about a non-stop set of things happening over the next week--parties, exercise, dances, doctors, and no doubt more. I want to do it all--but I also am not revving up very much. It's like I'm an engine running on half power--I remember how I used to feel but I can't get back there. I feel out of gas--except when we do the Rolling Thunder ending activity. I somehow can bring up 10 hard punches--and roll back in for more.

BH spent the day cleaning up the yard--and it looks great! He had his buddy, C, helping him--which helped out a lot I imagine. He's prepping for the party on Saturday--along with all of his other responsibilities.

About time for dinner--I had half of a large sandwich for lunch and can do the rest for dinner.

Will mix a drink of Vital Red--I think that supplement is helping keep my energy up. Perhaps not way up--but helping some.