1648

End of February--going out with some heavy weather. Had a dance class today--after the big birthday party last night. Well, not so big really--sort of a quiet family dinner that acknowledged MD's 101 birthday.

Dance felt good today--had substitute instructor and we did a demo session with the seniors. I'm still processing yesterday's session with the oncologist--and learning the fact that the treatment I did didn't take. I see the GI doctor next week--about the other issues that were revealed in the two PET Scans that I went through.

I keep waiting for the miracle to happen--when all of these health issues magically disappear. I know that that is not going to happen--but I hold onto the wish.

Boxing tomorrow--and dancing on Friday. Then boxing on Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday--before I meet with GI people and find out what they say I should do.

I had a vivid dream last night--about interacting with a large group of adults who were trying to establish some rules regarding dealing with either children or aliens who were child-like. I was in some kind of queue--and there were interminable delays. I kept trying to get things moving--but the roadblocks were persistent and not easily circumvented.

1649

Today is G-Ma's birthday--she is 101 today. Tonight she will be feted with a solid dinner--BH is pulling it together since this is his Tuesday family dinner night.

I saw the oncologist--and as expected the news was not good. The treatment should have made the lump go away--and it did not. Most of the lump is still intact--despite the treatment and the other things that I've done. The doctor is starting to talk about chemo--which is not something I look forward to taking. He wants the GI people to take a look though--and see if they can identify what is happening in the colon area that registered on the PET Scan.

Which introduces something else I didn't want to do--a colonoscopy and any residual surgery that needs to be done. Bummer and bummer--I didn't realize how much simpler things were when I only had PD to consider. Now I have PD--and an unknown number of other issues. The strange part is that I don't feel much of anything happening--I just keep cruising along, singing a song, and waiting for the next shoe to drop.

Meanwhile, I dance, box, eat, and keep on keeping on--as the clock keeps ticking and everything rolls along. I keep rolling--keep on rolling.

1650

Did RSB today--and it felt good despite the fact that it was a tough workout. Had a goodly crowd of boxers--20 or so. It was mostly men--not too many women. There was an older new guy who I haven't seen before--he could hit the heavy bags with crunching blows. He has a lot PD symptoms--but he didn't let that slow him down. He attacked the activities--giving all he had.

I missed going to the PD support group this morning--but it was better for me to do some punching and not a lot of sitting.

I see the oncologist in the morning--early in the morning. Will get his assessment of where I am with respect to the treatment results--I don't anticipate that it will be the good news based on my reading of the results. It will be whatever it will be--and the ball keeps rolling until it stops.

I also dread seeing the GI people the following week--no good news expected there either. I believe that the three things are all linked--the PD, the NHL, and the colon/cecum issue. I think that they are linked in a causal network--where each is triggering one of the other items in round-robin manner. And, yes there is another character--the prostate gland. It too is wired into the circuit--and doing what it can do to keep the chaos going.

I hate to be so negative regarding all of these phenomena--but their ever-expanding presence and continued intrusion into my life and being is grinding away on my good will. It's difficult to see rainbows--when the storms are blowing fogs and mists across the vistas.

In a few days--some of the fog and mist will be lifted. Maybe there's a rainbow out there somewhere--just one would be helpful.

1651

The 2018 Winter Olympics are over--the closing ceremony was not available online since the local TV station was broadcasting the event. Bummer--I had wanted to see it. But, I'm sure there will be a rebroadcast that will be available--eventually.

I slept in today--even though I awoke early. It was still quite dark at 6am--so Just rolled over and napped until about 9am. At some point, I got up--and went to SB's for a latte and breakfast sandwich. I then made copies of the PET Scan #2 results--and grabbed some groceries and did my laundry.

Tomorrow I'm going to the RSB class--which means I'll not be going to the PD support group meeting. I need the energy of the RSB class--I don't need the heaviness of the support group. I'll be seeing the oncologist on Tuesday--to go over the latest PET Scan results and implications. I'm hoping that the RSB session will continue to help reduce the lump--along with the other interventions I've started doing (massage, enzymes, diet, dance and so on).

Tuesday will also be the B-Day celebration for MD--she'll be 101! Hopefully we'll celebrate here in the house--and not go through the process of going to a restaurant. BH can do one of his regular Tuesday family dinners--and not add a trek to the proceedings and a not-so-good meal and an expensive bill. But it's her 101st B-Day--she gets to eat where she wants to eat, in theory. If we go out, I will suggest the BBQ place--we've done a family dinner there before and the food is tasty.

Enough of these ramblings--time to read a bit and go to dreamland.

1654-1652

Got sidetracked several days in a row--and did not make posts during this time period. Did an RSB session on Thursday--and a dance class on Friday. Did an RSB class today--had 5 people in the class to start and ended up with just 2 of us in the wrap-up. One person had back pains--which were too painful to do the exercises. A second person had to leave early--he was expected to be at his granddaughter's birthday party. The 3rd person must have had some type of problem doing the exercises--and elected to punt and go home.

Thursday's session was good--I seemed to recall a sense of flow as I did the RSB exercises and then the dancing the next day. I felt good during dance class--and last night I went through the process of checking the route to today's birthday event.

Today was a double event--RS very early in the morning and the kids' birthday melee which started at 10am and went to 2pm. I came home from the party--and crashed for a few hours.

The tensions in the household have subsided a bit--although there seems to be more that needs to be released. SH and BH are cool around each other--and the tightness in the interactions are palpable.

I dreamed last night a very vivid dream--it was about being at a party. The people were vying with each other and the children--to see who could collect the most number of prizes. The prizes were scattered all over the place--and everyone was running about, finding prizes, and putting them in their goodie bags. I was one of the adults--and was taking advantage of my speed and bigness to grab prizes from the kids and others. I was not being nice--and it felt good to be that way.

Got my PET Scan #2 results--and they didn't seem to indicate that the lump has gotten smaller. However, when I examine that area now--it seems to be smaller and less dense. Will know more on Tuesday--after I sit down with the oncologist and parse the results.

R&R day tomorrow--and doing errands and laundry!

1656-1655

Had the PET Scan yesterday--and a massage later in the day. SmcD, who does the bodywork, is knowledgable about the lymph system--and fascia manipulations. Her work yesterday seemed to help shrink the mass in my neck--and to soften the texture of the lump. It will be informative to hear what the 2nd PET Scan reveals--and anything else that may have shown up on the images that were captured.

There has been a lot of chaos here at the homestead--S found out about a month ago that she was pregnant with a 3rd child. Unfortunately, about a week ago she discovered that the fetus wasn't viable--and she was given some medications that were supposed to help her purge. It seemed that the medication only did some of the job--and the medical staff told her she would need to get a D&C. She wasn't happy about the situation--and she got wrapped up with the stress and emotions. She, apparently, has begun to drink--which is not a solution and is causing a lot of tension and upset. I get that she is upset and feels badly--but she is not at fault and starting to drink is not a answer to having such feelings. B, her husband, is clearly upset about her being upset--and with his history is not sympathetic regarding what she is doing. He is huffing and puffing over it all--and walks around mumbling and cursing.

I'll be doing an RSB class tomorrow--danced today. Dancing felt good today--I'm still having movement problems but I also felt like the dancing was freeing me up. It helped to have the woman who will be substituting for the instructor the next two classes--next to me. She is right on the beat with her movements--and I could watch her out of the corner of my eye and stay on the patterns. Dancing and RSB--exercise classes that fit together really well.

1657

Really cold last night--28 degrees! Will be almost that low tonight--winter is a'comin back perhaps.

Went to RSB this morning--not many people there for a Monday. Must be the holiday--although there's not much about the President to celebrate.

I'm scheduled for a PET scan in the morning--early in the morning (7:30am). I'm to fast before going--and not do any exercise (I did dome today though). Eat a high protein dinner tonight--and stay hydrated.

I'm doing my laundry--missed doing it yesterday. Will take a good shower this evening--so I can get up early in the morning and get to the lab on time.

Been watching the Olympics--inspiring to hear everyone's stories of what they have done to be there. Lots of work and dedication--and lots of sacrifice. A lot of effort and commitment--over four year intervals to make it to the events and do well there.

1658

Rest day--cold outside. Not as cold as the location of the Olympics--but cold enough! I napped a couple of times throughout the day--the grandson kept things noisy.

I did a lot of shopping today and yesterday--keeping my cupboards stocked for some reason. I was a bit achy today--achy and stiff. I realized that I had almost used up my enzyme supplements--I went online and ordered a couple of bottles. They are not that expensive--but I'm taking 3x every day so the supply goes quickly. I think the enzymes are helping with the healing of the lymphoma--I hope so. Don't want to have to do something more intrusive--the immunotherapy route is clearly the better route.

Read today that Jimmy Carter was treated for melanoma--one of the treatments he was given was an immunotherapy concoction and it helped him survive. His melanoma had spread to several locations--and he was not given much of a chance to cure. But he and the therapy fooled everyone--he's back on track now.

Will do an RSB tomorrow--even though I'm not to do a heavy workout before the PET Scan. I can ease off tomorrow--but I think I'll feel better on Tuesday by doing some exercise even if I have to cut back on some of it.

Had a dream last night--another dream where there was a group of us working in a technology company. We were working on a product that would change how people used some aspects of technology--possibly in the medical field. The ambiance in the dream was cool and thoughtful--people in the dream were dedicated and had integrity.

1660-1659

Went to dance class yesterday afternoon--and it was fun but still left me feeling tired afterward. I keep expecting that dancing will shift my energy levels--that I'll come away feeling more energized after dancing. The activity is not as stressful physically as an RSB session--but the concentration required produces stress and leaves me zonked.

Still, I think that dancing is the perfect complement to RSB--sort of a yin/yang phenomena that can be aligned and optimized. Also the Friday dance class is  a lot more technical than Wednesday's event--Wednesday is mostly beginner dances while Friday is beginner to intermediate dances. Also the Friday class requires looking over the dances before coming to class--Wednesday's dances can mostly be learned on the fly.

I did a full set of movement activities this week--four RSB classes and two dance classes This morning I went to the Saturday RSB class--which starts at 9am. I got going about 7:45--and then hit Panera's for a bagel and smoothie. I came home and made a serving of fried Asian rice and smoked salmon--then napped for a while. When I got up and went on a shopping run--picked up some smoked salmon, Asian fried rice, an East Indian meal-in-a-pouch, and a Panera's Frontera chicken panini sandwich. I went home and ate half of the sandwich right away. Will have the other half and a bag of chips for dinner--unless I get a craving and eat the sandwich sooner.

I had another of the BIG dreams last night--a very clear dream that involved the activities of a Queen. She was holding court with some of her subjects--making decisions regarding their petitions to her for a variety of requests. I was there on the sidelines--contributing to the discussions when I could do so. I was serving as an advisor to the court--which I had done for quite some time. She trusted me and  others to give her wise counsel--based on our collected skills and expertise. The dream was quiet and sedate--things were discussed and debated rationally and thoughtfully. There was little subtext going on--everything was on the table for everyone to hear and analyze.

1661

Did the RSB class this morning--and came back home and napped. I felt really tired after this morning's workout--I was both sore and achy in various spots not from today but from earlier in the week.

I had an elaborate dream last night--I was in a large meeting place with a huge crowd of people. Many of the people included whole families--including small children. We were gathered together because we all had been sent invitations to the event--the gathering was an important step in creating an action plan that needed to be made to help correct some problems that were threatening the planet and all of us, the inhabitants.

Most of the people in the dream were scientists and technologists--whose spouses and children were science-minded and very intelligent. There were several large meeting rooms--each room had an AV system that displayed a panel of key organizers and allowed for all of the meeting rooms to communicate with the panel and with each other.

At one point, I experienced feeling like I was a stranger to everyone--I couldn't understand why I had been sent an invitation. I felt that I had been invited by mistake--that I wasn't going to be of any value being there. Everyone there was friendly and open--but I didn't share their background and mores. I was torn between staying and finding out why I had been chosen--and leaving before I was discovered to be there by mistake.

It was a very real dream--and it persisted when I awoke.

1662

Valentine's Day--and everything is red. Did a dance class today--2 hours of movement and music. After about 1.5 hours--I get tired and start to fade out. I didn't really eat enough before going to the class--I downed a V8 Fusion when I got home. I had a latte in the morning--but felt like I could use the extra caffeine after the long dance class. I made a flatbread and salmon snack for lunch--but it was not a lot of calories.

I slept fairly well last night--didn't get up a lot. The dinner that BH made for Tuesday night--beef and dip plus veggies was filling and very tasty. He had used the giant crock pot to cook the beef--and it was great. I had 1.5 sandwiches--plus a big portion of veggies.

Will do an RSB class tomorrow--I'm somewhat stiff and sore today. Probably because I did 2 days of back to back RSB exercise--maybe the dancing today will smooth things out. I don't want to take any Vitamin I (ibuprofin)--so I'll just have to stretch it out and/or take a warm shower.

I'm debating what to have for dinner--I've got the package of Asian fried rice. I don't think I have anything but salmon to put with it--maybe will do a grocery run and pick up some protein to add to the rice. It's clear that I'm feeling hungry--otherwise I wouldn't be thinking so much about what's for dinner.

Time to pick up the mail--and then deal with dinner.

1663

RSB two days in a row--and the exercising is breezy. Doing a second day went well--and I'll dance tomorrow. I spaced this afternoon--ended up watching some of the Olympics and didn't nap.

Ate a lot so far today--bagel and smoothie before RSB, bowl of chicken and cheese for lunch. Along with a V8 Fusion, a cookie and grapes, and will have some dinner from the Tuesday Chefs--all in all fair amount of food.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day--Hallmark will win the most treasure.

I feel like I'm in some kind of limbo state--plenty to be done but nothing that is all that motivating. Some dread regarding coming events--PET Scan, going over results of treatments, meeting with GI people and whatever that portends, and all the processes of life itself.

That's it for tonight--I'm calling in early...

1664

Daze of a day--and a maze of activities. Went to the RSB class--and regular coach had to do something so she couldn't do the class. Two junior coaches filled in and put us through our paces--speed bags, TRX, and boxing workout. We had a bit of a warmup--and a session on the floor to close the day. In the mix we also did some gait work--and some stretching using the poles.

I had planned on going to the copy shop on the way home--make copies of my DL and package everything to drop off at the GI office. I realized when I got to the GI office the I had left my insurance cards on the copier--fortunately no-one used the machine while I was making a round trip back there. The cards were just as I had left them--it would have been aggravating to lose the cards but would not have been a disaster.

I went on home--picked up a Frap on the way back. Had a bowl of rice and chicken for lunch--had downed a smoothie and bagel on the way to RSB.

MD got up well into the midday hour--she had been coughing continuously from the time I got home. She indicated that she was not feeling well--and had thrown up. She called my ex--who said she would drop by which she did. The ex is busy getting her house ready to sell--she's dealing with a separation, selling the house, keeping her consulting going, and the rest of life. She old me that she would be moving in here when the house sells--with her two cats (she gave her dog away).

Will do the RSB class tomorrow--which will be two days in a row. I've not too many double days--have mostly done a day on followed by a day off.

1667-1665

Days of chaos have shifted some--lost track of things on Friday, Saturday and today. Lots of things were happening--but not all were being shared. So there were these unspoken thoughts--and people got sick (are still sick). I lost Friday in the haze--spent time trying to link to the Olympics.

Turned out that daughter was having to induce a purge on her pregnancy--sounded like the fetus just wasn't viable and needed to be cleared. BH was trying to keep things normal--which wasn't working and he was getting stressed. Kids were ill--along with some adults. He was trying to keep things with the kids on schedule--but he was falling behind on everything. The stress was palpable--and he was going to have to work on the weekend.

The chaos and arguments made me feel like I just wanted to find a quiet cave--and hide inside while the until the storms played out. I don't do well when there is loudness and hostility--I can't cope with such turmoil.

I went to RSB class on Saturday--and spent a fair amount of time pulling the medical history documents filled out and printed.

The ex-wife came here on Friday to help out with everything--she, of course, was also dealing with the turmoil of ending her latest marriage. She and her current spouse were unlinking--an event that always seemed most likely just based on surface observation. Number 5 makes for a lot of nuptials--wonder if she'll try for 6?

I got a PET Scan scheduled for 2/20--will see the oncologist on 2/27. The lump is shrinking--not quickly or a lot. But it is responding to the treatment--and the other things I'm doing (dancing, boxing, eating, using enzymes, resetting my system to an alkaline basis).

My work that I did to put my medical data on the computer was the first real task I've done in a few years--since around 2005 or 13 years ago. It's not that I can't do it--it just takes me a really long time versus how I once could do things faster. I feel like I'm caught in a stream of molasses--and I'm caught in slo-mo.

1668

Day of clutter and chaos--stock market sinking, sink in BH's bathroom fell apart, BCH still not well, lump is still around (although it seems to be getting smaller now and then), and general feeling of too much happening to process.

Did an RSB session this morning--and came home and didn't take a nap. It looked like BH could use some help--too many things on his plate and more coming. Nothing big scheduled for tomorrow--need to get several med-things done.

We continued with Tabata in the RSB class--that made for three times this week did an intense workout. Have had a quiet hour--and will no doubt hit the bed early tonight. Tabata in my dreams--making movement scenes.

Had a frap--and a V8 energy drink. Had a FitEats entree--and a smoothie and bagel. Had a couple of cookies--and still will have some dinner. Eating a lot--appetite kick started with all the movement and exercise.

The FitEats dish was a serving of turkey lasagna--very tasty and very filling. Still have one more dish--a BBQ meatloaf.

Will jump in the shower this evening--RSS workout, warm weather, and a bad flu/cold going around makes me want to bath and avoid the germs.

Mail check time--more requests for donations solicited from MD. A waste of paper, time, and resources--monthly postage expenditures would help feed a family.

1669

Made it to dance class today--and it was not as easy as I had thought it might be. It was still good to do--and I think it helps my immune system to be more active. It was great to see people--and to hear their support and encouragement. I think the lump has shrunk a lot since yesterday--it seems to come and go but is trending toward shrink today. May that be so--and then some.

The dance instructor was fighting off a cold--as is my grandson. He has had a rough several weeks--with a stomach issue that has knocked him off his stride.

I'm feeling a bit frazzled after doing RSB over the past two days--and going for 2 hours of dance today. I had a latte and biscuit sandwich for breakfast--and a protein bar and meal replacement drink for lunch. I'm now finishing a horchata frap--and will do a chicken and rice for dinner. Lots of calories and protein--have to feed the system since I'll be doing an RSB in the morrow.

Dances came back to me today--and I did well with the new ones. Dancing is the perfect complement to the RSB sessions--and to smoothing out the PD symptoms.

I stopped and talked briefly with the Dog Lady--she's having hip problems and has to resolve things so she can continue to deal with her dogs. She has a birthing happening soon--and she needs to be physically in shape to handle the event.

Have to decide if I'm going to pick up any meals on the way home tomorrow--the Fit Eats meals are tasty but a bit small and a bit expensive. I can emulate their offerings by selecting ingredients from the grocery stores--and taking a little time to build my versions of their items. Will postpone that decision until I'm on the way home--after the RSB class.

1670

RSB class today--a repeat of yesterday and just as difficult. The activities were synched with music--moving in fast-paced patterns (cardio, moving with weights, speed bag). It was tiring yesterday--but was more doable today although I did drop off to sleep after lunch.

Got a bodywork session with the Trager lady--and it felt really good. She worked with the facia and lymph systems--I came away feeling light and energized. Have to build sessions with her into the mix of things--that and getting back to dancing.

She massaged and worked the lumped area--I was a little worried about doing that but it seems to have been a good thing to do.

Will try and get to EDH dance tomorrow--have to restart somewhere.

Otherwise, I've got several things to get done--PET Scan, finish intake med forms, improve my diet, and more. Always something yet to be done--no rest, just keep moving.

1672-1671

Managed to watch most of the Super Bowl game yesterday--Philadelphia won and created a huge celebration in their hometown. It was a good game--with a lot of back and forth until the very end. The game was streamed live on NBC--watched it on my laptop. Perhaps some of the upcoming Winter Olympics will be shown the same way--it's going to be very cold in South Korea.

Went to RSB session this morning--there were 15 people in the class. The coach worked us hard--we did a lot of aerobic/heart rate activities. I came home and napped for a couple of hours--am just now waking up a bit. Don't know if the enzymes and alkaline water that I've added to my diet--is doing anything. The lump seems to be smaller--but it's still quite large. I think that it fluctuates in size--based on the time of day and whatever activity I'm doing/not doing.

I see the Trager lady tomorrow--look forward to resuming the treatments and whatever positive effects she can trigger. Also intend to get back to dancing on Wednesday--I know that doing so will have some positive effects. The RSB coach is bringing in a drumming therapist next week--should be a lot of fun.

I got suckered by an online infomercial site--I ordered the base package but let the site pull me into a place where the order was doubled. I'm not sure I want to try and get them to back things up--it only caused me an extra $40 but it did set up an auto renewal way out in time (so it will be easy to forget and I'd get snagged again). I have a lot of things on my to-do list--so I don't want to side track those items by spending time dealing with a slick marketing group. They say they offer a full refund if I'm not satisfied--I may try them on that issue since I get to keep the books they are sending.

1673

Day before the Super Bowl--and the grocery stores are crowded. It's also February--and the short month is going fast.

I went to RSB class this morning--and did an assessment afterward. I did alright on the assessment--I should since I've been hitting the bags for quite a while now. I didn't do a 2nd caffeine drink today--and I'm feeling a bit fuzzy. Perhaps I will do one in a bit--and stay up late rather than going to bed early.

I've started taking the enzyme supplements--and I think there is something happening. Just not clear yet what is taking place--my energy is up and I've been able to focus and get thing done. But it is all episodic--a roller coaster ride through the various stimulations.

The lump is getting smaller (I think)--and I've been eating well and not hitting the sugars a lot.

It's the granddaughter's B-day tomorrow--then SD around the 10th and MD on the 27th. Tonight or tomorrow I'll finish up the medical papers--and get them printed and ready to be delivered to the GI guys. That will kick off the next phase of medical events--oh boy, oh joy!

Quiet here so far this evening--I think the daughter and kids are visiting with J's friend M. BH is working--which would be a big night given tomorrow's game. He'll also work tomorrow--and zone out come Monday rightly enough.

I've opened an energy drink--should pop me awake and alert in a few minutes. Nothing monumental happening in the morrow--except the big game. Also my laundry--and a shave and a shower!

1675-1674

Felt good yesterday--a bit manic but overall felt good. Went to RSB--and really felt good while I was there. Got conscripted to watch the grandson--and I did for about 4 hours. It's challenging to keep any kid engaged for that long of a time--but he's curious and as long as I change things dynamically he's happy as a bird. Also the weather was wonderful--I got him outside and on the trampoline. He was a happy bouncer--he didn't nap all that much and was fairly wobbly when his dad got home.

The proteolytic enzyme tablets that I ordered arrived yesterday--so I started taking them yesterday. I think that just the first few that I have taken--seem to be doing something. It's difficult to sort out different  conditions and effects--what with PD and its medications, the NLH and its elements, and the BLK water that I started drinking. I had to rearrange my pill schedules--the enzymes are not to be taken with food (PD is supposedly the same but I've not ever been very regimented on that front).

I was quite tired last night--and I fell into the bed early. I awoke early--and got up and out. Went to SB's and had a green tea latte--and a southern-style biscuit breakfast sandwich made with chicken sausage, cheese, bacon, and a sweet-flavored biscuit. It is really tasty--one of the better food items that they have introduced.

I went by the spots outlet--and picked up some new speed bag gloves. The ones I have are feeling a bit worn--I got a new pair that have more foam or absorbing material over the knuckles. They feel very protective--and fit more snugly than my old ones. Will baptize them tomorrow--doing an RSB session and then getting an overdue evaluation (supposed to be done every six months). Will be interesting to see what progress I've made--I know that I've been to a lot of classes.

I went by the body worker's clinic--and set an appointment for a session. Planning on getting back on the horse--body work, dancing, RSB, and diet.