5472

End of May! Clocking out of this month and into June '07. Fairly quiet day for me on the symptom front. Didn't do a massive sleep/rest today. Felt tired, but made it through without going horizontal.

Went to the library to pick up some new stories. Found four titles that were on the "new" shelf. Titles tell it all: Mortality, Goodnight Nobody, Heavier Than Air and You Are Not Here (Buddhist fiction). I'm set for a few days for reading material.

I thought I had an interesting dream(s) last night, but can't seem to recall any details. Maybe I dreamed I had an interesting dream(s)? Escher-like dreaming perhaps?

Felt fairly calm and quiet today. Took walk in the afternoon, on the bike trail through the park. Saw a heron in the creek. Mystical looking bird! Like an omen--been a while since I've seen any wild creatures. Sunny but cool today! Dinner at DeeDee's (that place is losing the battle--I was nearly the sole dinner person--which for a buffet is not promising)!

Still letting images of a place to live percolate through my thoughts. Images of nature, quiet, people nearby but not intrusive, temperate, hiking trails, neat place, simple, not a lot of "stuff!"

Somewhere there's a place for me (sung as a song)! Quiet and peaceful! I'm starting to realize some things that I'm going to have to address. Choices must be clarified, sorted, analyzed, and then acted upon--and with no more year-long periods of waiting--waiting for Godot!

5473

Was contacted by my college's alumni association. It's been 40 years since I got my degree! 40 years! Where did all of those years go? For what? To what?

Quiet day today! Lull in the ongoing din. I've started my walks again, but taking them in the park near where I live. More peaceful with only bicycles along the way. Clearly craving less noise and more nature. Feel drawn to nature and such. The silence of the trees.

Cafe had a turkey meatloaf sandwich as the special today. It was a huge concoction, but I managed to chomp it up. Tasted great! Nice break from my regular fare. Slept after lunch for a couple of hours! Restful sleep.

Overall, was a pretty good day. I've been observing where I am with everything--assessing my state of being. Beginning to look more closely at the reality of situation. The time has come the walrus woofs--the time has come. Let there be light!

The wayward whales may have made it back to sea! Dawn and Delta resume their wanderings. Not so fortunate the one that beached up near Newport. It was a 40-footer--big one! Decided to end his journey on the Newport beach. A whale of a tale!

No dream memories from last night. The dreams have blown away! Into the dream spaces! Into the scapes and places where the dreams reside! Dream away, dream away!

5474

2nd set of five years begins! Did my laundry--so much for marking the occasion. Spent a lot of today checking out what it felt like if my symptoms were just like they were today--how I would feel if everything stayed the same--if it got no better or no worse. I survived! What can I say?

I did sleep though, but even that can become part of my "day." Just go with the flow.

Was quiet here today until kids arrived. Then there was several noisy hours. Made me, again, think seriously about my living situation. The more I think about it, the more I feel that I want a separate place--no immediate neighbors, no sounds of others intruding in my zone. Quiet, peaceful, and in nature. I went for a walk today through a park. It was restful and restorative. I need more!

Dreamed last night of being part of a big production. It was a lively musical review with lots of singers and dancers. There was one group who came on stage really alive. They were doing a syncopated dance routine that was joyous. The dream lasted a long time with many different groups performing.

Notice for Jury Duty has triggered lots of thoughts about just being with the symptoms and seeing how I do. It's over a month away so I have time to mentally prep for doing it. Get me back into the real world--or as real as a courtroom can be.

Jury Duty and possibly moving--enough to deal with right now. Welcome to the 2nd five year period. It will be whatever it will be! It is what it is! So be it!

5475

Significant posting--it's the end of the 5th year of my 20 year countdown. Started the countdown (and daily journal notes) 5 years ago, around Memorial Day weekend. My thoughts? Were that I would mark the passage of days and hopefully discover something along the way.

Had no idea of where it would lead or take me. For me, the past few years have not been anything I would have planned or expected--especially my health issues and what I've been doing to turn things around.

I began blogging a little over 2 years ago. The 3 previous years are in MS Word files. Five years of notes (nearly daily) on what I've been about (or not, as the case may be).

So today (or tomorrow) begins the next 5 years. Where will those days take me? Where will they go? How will they go? For nearly 3 years, I've been stuck on the illness merry-go-round. Hopefully, the coming years will get me off that ride and moving along the path of wellness, peace, productivity, and community. I'm tired of spinning round and round--I'm ready for some linear routings.

7300 days make up a 20 year span--so there's 5475 days left in this score. May I be blessed with the opportunity to live them out. If not, there's always the next merry-go-round--All aboard!

5476

The next post marks the 5 year point in me keeping a journal/blog. I started the entries with 7300, the number of days in 20 years. Tomorrow, the countdown reaches 5475, the 5 year point.

As my reward, I got my Jury Duty summons today--for the week of July 16th. Got the notice last month and asked for a postponement. Will see if I can deal with it this time--can't postpone again.

Don't recall dreams from last night. Was awakened at some time by a car honking its horn. Noise! Too much noise! Kids just arrived and are doing their road race through the garage area. Was fairly quiet today--people were out and about.

Cooling down now. Feeling in and out today. Slept some, but not a lot. Last night, I spent some time reading my blog entries from a year ago. Despite the issues I was dealing with then, my energy was better. The past year has wrung me out. The past 5 years have been a major journey!

Tomorrow is Memorial Day! A time to reflect and remember. And to wondering what the next 5 years will bring.

5477

Slept a bit more today, but still riding the wave set in motion with Thursday's acupressure massage. Symptoms still reduced today and quiet now. Had more of the cognitive buzz today versus past few days. Tremor not as prominent.

Ate very cleanly yesterday (fruit and dairy). Today, had lunch at DeeDee's and the carbos put me to sleep (and was already somewhat fuzzy). But, feeling a sense of shifting of symptoms--becoming diffuse (may it be so!).

Don't recall last night's dreams. There were some, but they vanished with the dawn (which vanished behind some clouds). Feeling tired tonight (despite all the naps I took today). Holiday weekend--people out and about today. Kids home and noisy. Congregation up the street was hosting a wedding--cars everywhere--and more kid noise.

Peaceful feeling right now. Thirsty. Unusual for me to crave liquid, but has been so for about a week. Agua fresca! Sounds good!

5478

Good day! Measured day, but a good one. Perhaps a carryover from yesterday's massage--or diet/sleep/meditation all coming together. Was up and down some today, but overall it's been on the plus side. Napped today when it felt right to do so. Going with the flow!

Haven't walked much this week. Will put that back in the program tomorrow, but maybe at a different time--maybe later in the day when I'm feeling good--like now.

I think the new supplements are also doing something--still difficult to tell, but I get a sense of them altering when I need to nap and the length of those sleeps. The feeling is less frantic in some way. And, I do seem to be having clearer cognitive stretches. So be it! For sure!

Dreamed last night about driving through my home town. I was on a road that had lengthy vistas of land covered with trees and farms. We stopped at a set of small shops in a cluster of buildings to say hello to my stepfather. I was riding with my mother. Both of these people are no longer alive, but they were there in the dream. Both were younger looking--both quite healthy. The land around that area was lush and vibrant. It was a pleasant, peaceful dream--filled with warmth and grace.

Today, I managed to think some about resettling somewhere. I searched the listings over in Santa Cruz for co-ops or similar arrangements. There were several. Good to know about them once I get back my stamina. Have to be able to do my share in those situations. SC has a lot more experimental living options compared to around PA. Of course, when my stamina returns, I can do anything--travel, meander, live in the mountains, live by the sea, or whatever. Soon! Soon! I hope and pray!

I talk about my stamina, but it's really more than that--it's my spirit, my inner engine that's sputtering back to life. Feels right, tonight! Let it be so!

5479

Acupressure massage uber alles! Had a wonderful acu-massage today and am enjoying its benefits right now. Feeling clear and symptoms are minimal. Slept some after getting the massage, but feeling great now. Ate lightly today--weather was warm and I didn't feel like eating much. Digestion has been a bit slow over the past few days. Been drinking a lot of liquids. All of the variables aligned today, and are doing so now as evening matures.

Still feeling shaky and a sense of being weak even with the current clarity. The person who gives me the acu-massages is on holiday for 5 weeks! Will have to find some type of replacement during that time.

It's a holiday weekend! Almost slipped past me as just another week, just another weekend. Probably will be so for me anyway, but not for the holiday crowds.

Don't recall dreams from last night. There were some, especially since I fell asleep on my floor mat last night, before waking up and getting into my bed. Will see what variations I undertake tonight--the sleep that knits the ravelled sleeve of care!

5480

Day of rest! Didn't move about a lot today. It was quite warm despite the winds. Just took it easy and tried to restore. Seemed to happen!

In fact, just awoke from a nap now--in the cool of the night.

Dreamed last night about a project where I was helping develop a device. There was a team of us working on the project. We had come up with a way to reduce the size of the device by cutting back on the number of pieces used by the power units. Dream was very technical. The device was going to help people with health issues. Hmmm!

Have an acupressure massage in the morning. Will be nice!

5481

Warm, busy day! Got up a bit early. Did exercises and ate breakfast, then puttered off to library to edit 19 pages of my friend's algebra manuscript. It was a challenge in that I was not "clear" but "cloudy." Made it difficult to concentrate--but I did it. Found a handful of typos, which I noted. Sent copies of the edited pages to him via snailmail. I felt really tired so I came home and had some lunch. Physically, I was quite enervated.

I napped for a short while and then made a trek to the DHL office to drop off my sample for an H-pylori test. I ran into some awful traffic on 101 and what should have been a short trip turned into a long excursion. Made it, finally, and delivered the package. Came back through some more heavy traffic--eventually making it back home. Napped briefly some more and then went out for dinner. Never made it to fully "clear" today. In fact, am feeling that I'm fairly weak--which sleep helps to restore somewhat, but not completely. I'm beginning to think that no amount of sleep will help--and in fact may be doing the opposite.

The craziness continues! Nothing fully stabilizes and new issues keep manifesting. It is what it is, but it's getting worrisome. I know I'm supposed to drop my wariness, but I need some breakthroughs that sustain, that progress. This sand pit is a pain!

Dreamed last night that I was with a childhood buddy. We were going fishing the next day. He bought a bunch of tackle and gear that we would need. We were staying at my mother's old house. I came home late and she was already asleep. My friend came in even later with all of the gear. It was nearly time to get up and head out to the lake.

And then it was time to get up--for real!

5482

I did manage to quiet down last night right before going horizontal. Focus on breath and Spirit. Things were better today although I awoke manifesting lots of symptoms. I was feeling really wary up through my session with the chiropractor. A while after leaving his office, I started to calm down and even out. Some napping/sleep helped--and I didn't do much else this afternoon.

Right now, I'm quiet. Went out for some dinner and that helped. It was warm and stuffy in the apartment--getting out felt good.

Dream last night about being in a class. The subject was a search language that had become popular. The instructor pointed out how the language was used to develop certain search results. I went to the board and demonstrated how the language could be modified to do other search operations--some that had never been done. The instructor was put off a bit since my use of the language was unconventional and something new. He tried to talk around my results, but he was clearly thrown off by what I had written.

Today, I captured a stool sample that I'll send out tomorrow. It's to test for H-pylori--if I have an active infection. Need to do the same for toxoplasma (blood serum test). Doing these tests to rule out/in whether or not the spit test results were evidence of just residues or active parasites. If infected, might help explain my sleep-a-thons (and they could be unrelated). It is what it is!

Warm and muggy tonight. I think we're headed for a hot-hot summertime!

5484-5483

Been on a sleep-a-thon. Missed posting yesterday as I slept the day away. More of the same today--can't get enough horizontal time. Tremor has been more active/intrusive, which makes me want to sleep even more. Trying to just ride it out, but it's getting to be too much.

Last night, I managed to shut down the tremor (or it got shut down with help from Spirit). In either case, when it went quiet I fell asleep, but in a restful way. But, it was back this morning--full bore. I've spent most of the past two days focused on trying to quiet the shaking. I've gone through nearly every exercise I've learned. In some ways, the shaking reminds me of how it was when all of this first manifested. Round and round I go!

Have a chiropractor treatment in the morrow and an acupressure massage later this week.

No dreams the night before (that I recall). Last night, dreamed a movie. It was about a young girl and her father. They were pioneers. They were working a piece of land out West. The movie-dream played all the way through. Each major scene was played one after the other. There was an elaborate panel that was used to control the playing. The panel was in the lobby and I was in charge of sequencing and playing each scene. The young girl, the actress in the movie, was also helping out. It was like a premiere showing.

The movie was filled with images of the land, skies and rivers. Beautiful photography! The story was poignant and compelling. I got wrapped up in operating the projection panel and didn't see all of the movie--but I had been involved in filming it so I knew what it was all about. I didn't want to awaken--I wanted to stay in the dream.

Time to grab a bit to eat and see what this evening has in store. Quiet time, perhaps! Perhaps!

5485

Today--it was what it was! Nothing monumental! Pressed through at one point where all I really wanted to do was lie down. Symptoms were present today--more so than usual. I ended up napping late in the afternoon anyway. I wanted to see what would happen if I just pressed forward despite the symptoms. It was difficult to maintain focus and I had to stop and reorganize every now and then, but I did muddle through--nothing of great substance, but things that needed doing.

I'm more settled now (after napping and eating some dinner). Place has gotten noisy, but I keep repeating the "it is what it is" mantra. I've nearly overloaded it today--reflected on it a lot.

Chris admonished me to "let go of my wariness and embrace life fully." That statement has also been ringing in my thoughts today. I want to do that! Have to find a way. Wary! Tired of being wary!

Dreamed last night (a repeat of a previous dream), but I don't remember anything about it--except that is was a repeater. Odd to just remember that aspect--that it was a repetition, but not any of the details. The mind and subconscious are mysterious things!

The whirling world continues its own mysteries and magic--a sherpa completes his 17th ascent of Everest. Charmed life! May he continue to be blessed!

5486

Nap time day, today! Awoke later than usual. Cosmic fog was back and the tremor as well. Chris sent me a helpful note reminding me to focus on doing things and enjoying what I'm doing--instead of doing things with a focus of what they are changing/altering/fixing. He reminded me to ponder a poem by Erich Fried called "What is it?"

It is madness, says Reason: it is what it is, says Love.
It is unhappiness, says Caution:
It is nothing but pain, says Fear:
It has no future says Insight: it is what it is, says Love.
It is ridiculous, says Pride
It is foolish, says Caution
It is impossible, says Experience: it is what it is, says Love.

The wording may vary slightly based on its translation, but the above provides the gist--especially the repeated phrase when Love speaks. That phrase makes a great mantra. It is what it is! Nothing more and nothing less!

My friend up in OR sent me an updated copy of his Chapter 1 Algebra notes. I plan to start an edit of that material in the morrow. Looking forward to it.

Had two dream segments last night. One dealt with directing people to an open house at a cafe. The cafe was operated by a person I once knew here in PA, Carol, who died several years ago. She was having an open house in her/my dream cafe with lots of free food and wines. People in the dream were trying to figure out how to get there. I was showing them routes and telling them about landmarks.

A second dream dealt with having two dogs and getting a third dog being added to the mix. There was some concern that the new dog wouldn't be accepted by the other two, and that they might start fighting. There was a scene where the dogs were checking each other out and where they seemed to acknowledge each other and look like they would be OK together. There was never any signs of aggression. They seemed content to let things be.

5487

After yesterday's session over in SC, I experienced, last night, several hours of cognitive clearance (no brain fog), a heightened energy, and the tremor getting really quiet--all good sensations. When I finally grew sleepy, it was with a good sense of tiredness and I slept well.

I awoke this morning with the tremor active, but it subsided once I did Qigong exercises. I stayed fairly cognitively clear most of today. Except for a few instances, I didn't get buzzy and tired today and didn't have to nap. Tremor has been on and off today, but not too noticeable. It's evening now, and I'm feeling clear and the tremor is quietening.

My right shoulder/arm was looser today and I keep doing the stretch Chris suggested (arms behind the back, hands clasped) to help it not tighten up.

So, there was a lot of positive results from the session. May those results continue to manifest.

Lost the dreams I had last night. They had a mysterious sense about them, but I don't recall any details now. Been having a set of thoughts all day about me wanting to live my life more fully--not have my circumstances be determining my choices. Don't know exactly how to proceed with actions that support those thoughts, but some things are cooking--bubbling away in the fragrant daube (crossword puzzle word).

5488

Heading over to SC today for a treatment with Chris. Got up early this morning and am still awakening. Cool today--cloudy with the sun trying to peek through.

Feeling OK this morning, but tremor is a bit active. Didn't go for a walk, which might have settled me some, but would also tire me. Half full/half empty! Feeling fairly clear right now.

Dreamed last night that I and several others were starting to work at the "Center." It was our first day and we had a lot of free time. The hallways were hard-surfaced and polished so you could "skate" from place to place. We were doing that and zooming about.

Someone suggested that we stop in on the HR person. She had talked with us earlier and indicated that she would be pulling us in for interviews at some point. We skated to her office and found a number of people waiting there. We piled in and created some chaos by being there. The HR person came out to investigate and saw us there. She was somewhat miffed that we had shown up like we did. She recapped what she had told us earlier about our interviews and directed us back to our area. We left and skated back to our work places.

The "Center" is some kind of research facility--sleek and very modern--bright and roomy. It was the same place as in the previous night's dreams. The group of us were like teenagers in age. We were forming a special team to research some computer-based applications.

5489

Acupressure massage this morning--helped me relax and get somewhat quiet. Will do another next week and then he's off on vacation for 5 weeks! May need to find a substitute--might try the Bowen Therapy (as was used by man in Australia). We shall see!

Mix of dream scenes last night. Some that had to do with line dancing. I was doing some final dances before quitting the dance activities. There were several dances held in different places where I DJ'd and taught some new dances. There was a festive atmosphere about it all, and some sadness that it was ending. People were stepping up to continue, but it wasn't going to be the same.

There was another dream segment about a place called the "Center." It was a research facility with a number of interests. I was associated with the place. It was set up on the baylands with small buildings sited at the ends of various paths that led away from the main complex. I looked in the window of one of the small buildings. There was a man working there. He had a tray of muffins on a table. There were eight muffins on the tray and places where four muffins had been taken. The muffins looked delicious and healthy.

I believe there was another dream segment, but recall no details now. The dreams were quite detailed and the dance dreams involved many people.

I've had a yellow jacket trapped in my sliding window since yesterday. No easy was to extricate him (or her). Last night, it settled on the screen and slept for nearly 12 hours--didn't move! Today, it's been active, but starting to slow down. Probably needs food and water. Too bad! May it reincarnate as a higher being!

5490

Happy Mom's Day! Turned out to be a warm day despite the steady winds.

I awoke with a tremor and it's not eased up much throughout the day--even when I napped. Anxious? Perhaps! Something happening.

Dreamed an extended intricate dream last night (awoke very early versus normal). Dream involved a series of events--theater/music, dinner, and a gathering. In order to attend everything, you had to confirm that you were attending and the number of guests. You had to do this prior to any of the events at different locations, and in a set order. You couldn't skip an event/location and come back and confirm later. Somehow, I managed to make all o f my confirmations. The events went smoothly. There was a pre-theater gathering followed by the theater event. Later (around midnight), there was the dinner. It was followed by another gathering where there was dancing. The party went into the early morning hours. By the end, people were giddy from fatigue once they had made it through all of the events.

Everything in the dream was courtly--set in the 1800's or such. Events and interactions were quite formal and mannered. Overall, the scenes were dreamlike--almost a dream within a dream feeling. I was there, but also felt like I was observing from a distance.

Tomorrow, I get an acupressure massage (in the morning). Will see what that does to the tremor. Today, I felt anxious (antsy). Now, it's warm and uncomfortable. Looking forward to a cooling off as the evening happens. Did two crossword puzzles today. Might do a third!

My dry skin (xerosis) is getting a bit less dry these days. Good sign! Means (I believe) that my digestion is doing better. It's not so much a function of how much liquid I'm taking, but a sign of how well my metabolism is functioning. Good news!

5491

Another cool day! Awoke later than usual. Wanted to roll over and go back to sleep.

Dreamed last night a mystery/thriller dream. I was in a remote cabin with another man and a woman. The woman was controlling what we were doing and what actions we were supposed to take. I had worked out some alternate plans with the other guy and we were biding our time. The next day we were supposed to start hiking a trail that she had laid out for us. I had decided that I'd had enough of her directing what I was doing and planned to branch off and take a different route the next day. The man and I covertly discussed what we planned on doing that was counter to her plan. We played it cool when she came to us a couple of times with changes to her plans. We just agreed to her changes knowing that no matter what we had alternate ideas.

It was like it was a matter of freedom for us to break away from her. She was sending us to places where we might be harmed. We had to do something to change where we went and what we did. I awoke from the dream just as we, in the dream, were starting out the next morning.

It was like each of us (in the dream) had our own agendas and could only trust the others just so far. The woman was the most inaccessible--she had her plan and that was it--no matter what we said or did.

Did morning exercises and went for a walk. Made it to the store and slept some this afternoon. Waiting for Godot kind of day! Where did the day go, Godot?

5492

Another cool day. Restful day after I did my laundry. Was quiet at the laundromat--only a few people there early in the morning. After lunch, I slept a fair amount, but a bit later than usual. Read some first and then went to sleep.

Dreamed last night a mix of scenes and such. Something about an old house and a view it had of a distant building, but nothing's clear today. The dream scenes got scrambled as I awoke and turned about this morning.

I'm gaining weight--unfortunately it's accumulating around my waist. A spare tire--or two! Guess I could lean-up my diet or try exercising. Too late tonight to think clearly what I might do. I'm ready to go horizontal despite the naps I took today. Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the anchovies bite!

5493

Quiet, cool day! Was muggy last night and a bit uncomfortable to sleep, but today has been great. I still napped, but not as long as usual. Feeling clear and not too shaky.

Kids were exceptionally noisy this afternoon. They were bouncing balls in the "courtyard" and it was like mortars detonating. The sound is enclosed and reverberates throughout.

Feeling good though--I'll take more days like this one! As many as I can get!

I believe I dreamed last night, but don't remember any details. Got a call last night from RM. He was just checking in and wanting to set up a time for us to have dinner together. Turns out I know one of his bosses. Small world!

Made it to the library today to pick up some more story collections. I've really read a lot in the past year. May it continue to be a plus in my life!

Quiet here now! Kids have stopped their bombardment. Just normal ambient noises like cars, apartment sounds, mumbled talking, distant plane engines, and an occasional animal noise. Relatively--peaceful!

5494

Cooler today! Still a bit warm, but not like the past two days. Made it easier for me to sleep the day away although I did get in a walk. Slept on and off last night (it was sweltering), but lost any dreams I had. I think I had some complex dreams, but no hint of what they were about.

Tremor not too intrusive for most of the day. I could live with the current tremor (and may have to do so) if I could eliminate the "brain fog" and "brain burn" along with the need to sleep so much. A minor request of the universe!

Had lunch at DeeDee's today. The food there seems to not be as varied and well-prepared as it has been. They still draw a fair crowd, but even those numbers seem to be shrinking. Tasty food, but getting a bit too routine.

I feel like I'm eating enough every day, but still not converting it into energy. Don't want to eat more than I'm eating now. Keep waiting for the switch to reset that brings back my stamina and energy levels. Still taking the new supplements, but not sure if they're doing anything--although the "brain fog" seems to be somewhat less during my short periods of clarity. Let it be so! Along with the MegaMillion lottery! Might as well have both!

Cooling down now! Let there be coolness!

5495

Another hot day--a bit less so than yesterday. Went to the chiropractor today--good session! Have another acupressure massage set for next Monday and a treatment in SC next Tuesday. And the beat goes on!

Dreams last night about being in an underground area where there were lots of wild animals. We were camped out in this prehistoric place that had many wild animals prowling about at night. I'm not sure why I ended up camping in such a place. It was difficult to sleep (in the dream) since someone always had to be awake to fend off the beasts.

World weather is in chaos--floods, tornadoes, droughts, fires, melting glaciers, and other phenomena. And the beat goes on!

I was in/out most of the day. Some rest and some clarity. Little by little, modest progress!

5496

90+ degrees today! Hot! Hot! Hot! Session with acupressure massage person went well. I was really quiet while I was there. Rest of day has been up/down--heat is sweltering.

Dreamed last night I was at a casino/resort. Was there for some type of workshop, but evenings were free to explore the casino. I went to a disco area. I was dressed partly in some form of costume. When I went to leave, two huge men followed me to the elevators. I didn't think that it was a good idea to get on the elevator with them. So, I punched the up button and when the elevator arrived, I stepped onto the elevator and then stepped off just before the doors closed. The two men went up and I headed for another elevator. I'd won some money at the gambling tables.

Slept a lot today despite the heat. It's cooling some now. Hopefully, getting even cooler as the night continues. Have session with the chiropractor tomorrow. I can't drink enough water. For me, I'm drank a lot today. Flushing out!

5497

Shadowy dreams! Dreams filled with darkness! Don't remember any details, just that the dreams were dark and mysterious.

Slept a lot today. So much for the new supplements! I'll keep taking them, but I'm not sure if they're doing anything. The spurt I had last week must have been happening anyway--with or without the supplements. The spurt started before I took any supplements.

Hot today! Hot and muggy! Thank goodness for a steady breeze that kept things cool.

I get an acupressure massage tomorrow. It's been a while since I've had one (because of the poison oak episode). And see the chiropractor on Tuesday. They're lined up!

Cooling down some now. Waiting for the gentle breeze!

5498

Cinco de Mayo! Quiet here at the apartments. Perhaps everyone is away at celebrations. Hear a duck quacking somewhere near. Looking for his pond, perhaps.

Was a day of going back to old patterns. Ended up sleeping away the afternoon. No continued energy spurts today. Back to a day of rest. Feels good to sleep. Perhaps I was just experiencing a placebo effect with the supplements--time will tell (as it does with everything).

Dreamed last night that I was in an old house. The place was empty and filled with shadows. I had a key and was there inspecting the place (not sure for what). As I came up on a landing, I saw a shadow of a movement from a hallway. My immediate thought was that there was an intruder. At that moment, a man leaped from the hallway. He was wielding a knife. It flashed as he moved toward me. I was defenseless. I was sure I was going to be cut. The action startled me so much that I yelled out loudly--actually did so. I awoke myself and I believe my neighbor. I had hollered full voice.

There was a second dream--about putting things in order in some way--don't recall the details. It involved a lot of people. We were at a resort attending some type of seminar or workshop. I seem to remember giving people information and directions.

Read a short story called "Cousins" by Joyce Carol Oates. It's about two elderly cousins who correspond with each other regarding whether they are related. Their histories involve the Holocaust and families at that time. Coincidentally, my friend P is about to go to Germany for a tour/workshop where she will meet a person she's been corresponding with, but has never met in person. Fiction imitating reality, or vice versa!

Slow-moving people with slow-moving dogs! There are several in the neighborhood. Are the animals moving like the people, or vice versa?

People gathering for ending of Shabbat. Families walking past headed for the congregation down the street. They went by yesterday about this time at the start--now they are back for the conclusion. Cinco de Mayo--mazel tov! Shalom!

5499

Had a good day! Didn't nap/rest! Edited a 22-page manuscript from friend up in OR! Did it without any "brain burn." Hallelujah! Was tiring, but that good kind of tiring. It's the first real work that I've done in over a year--more like 1.5 years!

Don't know if it's the new supplements or whether I was just ready to kickstart my brain. I can always test by stopping the supplements, but I won't do that for a while. For now, I'll just keep on riding and see where it takes me. I continue to eat a bit more than I've been eating--and it feels right. I'll probably go horizontal early tonight. I am feeling tired, but as I said above a good kind of tiredness.

Will see what the morrow brings! Maybe I'll be up for cleaning this place--it's been a while! Missed doing my walk today--it was raining early today, but has cleared now. Sky is a combination of oyster pink and powder blue--beautiful! Let the dreams begin!

5500

Dreams were set back in time. It was like looking at an old video or film of sometime in the late 50's or early 60's. Clothes, haircuts, cars--everything was past tense. The dreams revolved around gatherings of people with everyone dressed and acting as if they were from that period. Not sure, now, just what the dreams were all about. I was there and I too was dressed like I was from that time, but now I don't recall details or specifics--just lots of movement and motion.

Energy levels feel up! Still too early to attribute how I feel with the Activive supplement, but it sure feels like something is happening. I'm feeling clearer and less "symptomy" (if that's a word?--it isn't)! I don't feel as compelled to rest/nap as I've been. I don't expect that issue to just go away, but it seems to be manifesting differently. We shall see as the days unfold!

Got a call from the acupressure person--he's recovered from his tangle with poison oak. We're scheduled for a session next week. Good timing given that I seem to be energizing. We shall see as the days unfold!

Appetite seems to be on the increase as well. Everything feels like it's moving up! Let it be so!

Had a shot of bliss this morning--a moment when I felt symptom-free. Best one yet! May more such moments be on their way. Also feeling spurts of thinking about my "list" of activities and getting more of them done. We shall see as the play unfolds!

5501

Dreamed the night away! Two dreams that were somewhat related. In first dream, I was taking my friend, RB, and his family to the airport. They were flying to the Northeast. His wife was taking some crafts that she had made. There was a craft's fair where she could put them on display and possibly sell some. I was a bit unsteady at the wheel and had some difficulties driving, but I got them to the airport. I kept drifting off the road despite what I did with the wheel. The car was an older model from the 50's--like a Plymouth or such.

The second dream involved me waiting for a flight. There were some delays being posted and people were scrambling around for available seats. I walked up to an area where I thought there might be flights/seats. Turned out that area was being shut down because of the delays and cancellations. I walked back down to another terminal. The walk was along a set of streets that had houses, shops and cafes. The names of the streets were familiar to me and I seemed to know them well. The dream ended with me waiting for a flight.

Picked up the shipment of Activive today. Too soon to talk about results, but I took a single capsule to see if there were any noticeable effects. Will see what happen in the morrow when I start taking two capsules a day. The batch I got didn't list all of the ingredients that some sites listed. My batch seems to be missing all of the mushroom-related ingredients--which is just as well. I can always upgrade to the ones with more ingredients once I try these with fewer items.

Ate a lot today! Felt hungry! Good sign, I hope!

Enjoying the BASS 2005 stories. They are superb! I'd already read several of them in the collections I'd read in the past year. Was good to read them again in a different context--BASS versus the themed collections.

Touch of rain this morning as I awoke! Late Spring shower! Cleaned the air!

5502

Read late into the evening last night and slept a lot today. Awoke feeling energetic. After lunch though I felt like getting horizontal and I slept the afternoon away. Good, restful sleep.

Was a quiet day. Patterns of people here in the apartments have changed somehow. People seem out and about more than they were previously. Changes! Always changes!

Except for sleep/rest episodes, symptoms have been light. Tremor is quieter than it's been for some time. Brain fog seems to be lifting some. I ordered a supplement that deals with helping reestablish energy levels. It's taken for CFS and Fibromyalgia, but it's an all natural concoction that works at the mitochondria/cellular energy levels. Will give it a try--can always stop taking it if it's ineffective.

They shipped it really fast. I placed the order on Sunday and the package arrived today. Super quick and through the postal service. Product is called Activive. Not sure how it's pronounced. Found it (best price) on Amazon! You can now order just about anything via Amazon--fast and efficient, especially once they have your shipping info.