5592

Books on movement arrived today. Both are substantial. One is more of a cookbook with lots of illustrations. The other isn't so organized, but has some slightly different exercises with photographs. Probably will figure out how to use the best from both. Going to increase my daily exercise times by at least an hour once I get up to speed. They both are comprehensive and deal with everything from warmup, to aerobic, to stretching, to TaiChi and yoga. They both also deal with voice work and facial expressions.

So, onward to more exercises I go!

Work with chiropractor yesterday was exhausting, but noticeable today--my arm, shoulder and back muscles on the right side are more relaxed and loose today. The tightness had been there for so long that it was not conscious. Today, I can feel the difference! Good news! I was a bit concerned that we had done too much yesterday, but it seems OK today. The chiropractor is really young, but knows his stuff. I'm pleased!

Tremor was on/off today with stretches of quiet time. I skipped exercises yesterday afternoon because of the intense chiropractic session. Today, I did my full set of exercises, morning and afternoon, plus trying a few of the new ones in the set of new books. I was a little buzzy this morning and early afternoon. Seem to be quieting down now.

Dreamed last night but forgot what I dreamed about. Slept well last night. May go horizontal early tonight.

5593

Went to the chiropractor today. He worked on me for almost an hour. He loosened muscles in my right arm, side and back--places where I've been "storing" tension from the tremoring. It was not always comfortable, but everything feels loose now--although the release seemed to activate the tremor some. I also did about 4 minutes with the Tesla coil device.

Came home wiped. Had to sleep/rest and did so. Not sure why I felt so tired, but that may have been the result of releasing so much tension in my body. Will see how I feel in the morrow--if there are residual effects--pro and con. This morning and at the office it was fairly cool, which may have been prompting the tremor. It's been better once I got warmer.

Got a note that my daughter's grandmother will turn 90 next month! Amazing!!!

Dreamed last night that I was helping a friend, P, with some presentation materials. He was doing a presentation regarding the need for more people to handle some projects. He had developed two key slides and a host of backup slides. We were reviewing them--like a dry run so he could iron out the kinks, if any. It was a clear dream--a simple dream. It mostly focused on this one worker and why he/she needed support. P was his normal frantic self, but not too out of hand.

Been working with Lesson 1 of the SRF materials for a week now. Tomorrow I switch to Lesson 2. I think I've noticed some results so far. Spending a week on each lesson, 30 minutes a day, brings things into focus. One lesson down and 59 more to go!

5594

Dreamed last night. Dream had to do with children. There were people going into rooms where there were clusters of kids. The kids were silent. The people wanted some information from the kids, but they weren't getting anything. There were a few adults in some of the rooms with kids. They too were silent and uncommunicative. The scenes were dark and ominous; scary and eerie.

In some way, I had been responsible for teaching the kids not to talk, to remain silent. I had helped train them and the few adults that were in the rooms. Don't recall any more of the dream itself, just the dark mood and fear-inducing scenes.

Been flipping and flopping most of the day. Feeling unsettled and jittery. Did my exercises and so forth, which helped some. Rested/slept some today. It was a fairly warm day compared to recent days. There was some rain, on and off.

Will be heading to bed early tonight. Feel better either moving or horizontal. In between isn't comfortable for some reason. Talked with friend P. She's back from a two-week expedition to Africa where she tried sky diving! Quite a gutsy thing to do! Look forward to seeing the video of that event.

Reading in the two short story collections. Neither set is all that compelling, but there's an odd story here and there that's worth the read. So onward I read!

5595

Rain and shine! It's SpringWinter time! Gentle sound of rain falling last night and today. Makes me sleepy--want to curl up and rest.

Went downtown with L for breakfast. Place was noisy and I got a bit anxious by the time we finished eating. Too much stimuli! Long periods of sitting in a busy, noisy place is difficult for me to maintain. Was better once we ate and went for a walk.

Saw the guy who has PD who wanders around town. He was suited up in running clothes and was running down the sidewalk. He had a grin on his face and looked happy to be moving. He must have gotten some coaching on running being good for him and was out doing it. He was still thin and drawn looking, but he was grinning--big change for him.

Makes me want to run! I know it would feel good to be moving in that way. Will wait for warmer weather and go to the track. Don't want to pound my body too much, but definitely on my agenda--that and biking.

Two movement books I ordered are on their way. Coming via snail mail, but will be here soon.

January almost over! Where did the month go? Tick and tock, went the clock! And soon another day was on its way!

Keep seeing the guy with PD who was running and grinning. Happy for him! Glad he's found one way out of the box! Go! Go! Go!

5596

And then came the rain! Lots of moisture falling all around the area. Makes for warmer temperatures thank goodness.

I ended up going to bed last night around 2AM. I was messing around on the web and got locked into searching for something and suddenly it was early morning. A lot of this result was related to me feeling so clear. First time in over a year that I was able to focus for a length of time and maintain it. Of course, that cooked today's schedule of events. I got up really late and have just blobbed around all day. I slept some this afternoon.

The only downside to what I did was that my right arm got really stiff from using the mouse for such a long time. Some of those kinks worked loose in today's exercises, but it was not an optimal thing to do despite the clearness.

Was warm enough last night to not need heat. Only needed a little this morning when I finally got up. Went shopping and did my walk in between the showers. My walking route needs to be lengthened--it's too short because I'm walking faster. I'm covering the distance in less time. The length of time I walk is more important than distance. Striding out!

Spent some time last night looking at rentals in San Diego. Ran across a scam in the craigslist there. Some people are putting in fake ads trying to get people to "buy" a listing service for $118. The only catch is that the listings are either phony or dated and no longer valid. About 10% of the rental listings are from this scam group. The listings are easy to spot since they never list where the place is located and they supply a telephone number that has a unique prefix. But, what a pain! Here's craigslist doing something helpful and those yo-yos are scamming people for a few bucks. Fortunately, there are many real places being listed--just have to keep a wary eye on things.

Well, early to bed tonight! Have to make up for getting less sleep last night. But, it was a good thing to have happened--I'm getting more better each day! And it is so!

5597

Great day! Felt clear and quiet for the most part. Some shaking in mid-afternoon, but mostly still throughout the day.

I'm moving into a new energy level--way of being with the symptoms. I'm finally feeling like I'm going to fully recover. I've said that that was my intention, but I'm finally feeling that it is happening. Thank goodness!

Acupressure massages are part of the solution along with everything else I'm doing and starting to do--chiropractor, Tesla device, more exercise/physical stuff, Bowen Therapy, and so forth. All that and getting acclimated to the cold weather. I think part of the acclimation solution is related to being able to eat more foods. Food is fuel and I was definitely not getting enough for a while. In general, I'm still eating smaller portions, but am still eating several times each day--as my appetite demands.

Anyway, I feel like I can begin to see some clearing beyond all of the trees. And it is so!

All this good news bring up issues of ultimate housing/location and a myriad of other items. But for now, I'm enjoying the flow. Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!

I cranked up the far infrared lamp this afternoon. Felt good to bake under those invisible beams. Somewhat like the military's new "ray gun" except it's beneficial. But who knows, maybe the new ray gun has therapeutic aspects as well.

I'm a bit tired tonight. Only rested a little today. But, it's a good kind of tired. It's raining lightly. First rain in some while. Not going to be enough to fill the ski slopes, but it's clearing the air. MegaMillion lottery tonight! Hope I win! Would round off a good day! Oh, yeah!

5598

Enjoyed an acupressure massage today. It just feels like exactly what my body needs. Movement and balancing--two aspects of the massage that help me relax and go still.

I was still even when I went to the session--walking over in the cold air didn't start any tremoring. Tremors have been light to non-existent all day. Seem to get more active when I sit at the computer.

I went to the chiropractor's office and set up a time with him next week. Spreading out the things I'm using as interventions--sessions in SC (once a month), acupressure (twice a month), chiropractor (twice a month unless I go in to use the BioCharger more frequently), daily exercises (Qigong, walk, life force, Tibetan Five yoga postures, and light lifting of weights). And, more coming as I figure out what's next.

Felt grounded today--grounded, balanced and energized. Good feelings--good day! Got up a bit earlier than usual. In fact, got ready to head for the massage a half hour too soon. I was thinking the session was at 10AM and it was actually at 10:30. That's a first in a long while.

Men's team (four of us) met last night. Was good to see the ones that made it. I was "healthy" last night although I got a bit buzzy once we'd been sitting for two hours. Got good feedback on my progress. RB's daughter is about to turn 9! We've been meeting for 10 years! Amazing group of guys!

Read through the SRF lesson right before dinner. I feel that material is helping quiet things. I plan on doing a weekly lesson for the next year and see what else unfolds--quiet is already good.

5599

Warmer day today. Did laundry. Awoke a bit late to the symphony of garbage pickup sounds.

Heading out for dinner tonight with some of the men's team. Will be good to see them--those that make it.

Have an acupressure massage scheduled in the morning. Then, I'll drop into the chiropractor's office and start things rolling there. Want to experience the Tesla device again, and on a regular basis--to see if there's any positive effects on my symptoms.

Symptoms are moderate. Notice mostly when I'm using the computer! Hmmm!

Started reading through the SRF lessons--actually just Lesson 1. I'll spend time with it for a week and then move on to Lesson 2. Lesson 1 was mostly setup for what's coming--introduction and such. It's comforting to be taking the lessons.

Each lesson contains an affirmation that can be used to focus each day and its activities. Onward I go!

5600

The BioCharger (Tesla device) either helped moderate symptoms last night or I experienced a placebo effect. Or the turkey meatloaf sandwich I had for lunch created that result. Difficult to pinpoint an exact cause, but symptoms were moderate last night.

Symptoms were somewhat moderate today as well. I should be able to log several sets of results once I start using the device more frequently. If nothing else, it's like being in a room with lots of negative ions--stimulating.

Didn't do much of anything today. Up late (read late last night), went for walk and had a huge lunch. Picked up the first packet of lessons from SRF. They'll be sending two lessons every other week for about a year. I'm looking forward to working my way through the materials. Feels right and gives me something upon which to focus.

Still awaiting the cluster of books I have on order. Looking forward to what they have to say. Have a men's team meeting set for tomorrow night--it's been a while since we've gathered. Will be good to see whoever shows. Have an acupressure massage set for Thursday morning. Have to check with the chiropractor and set times with him and the Tesla device. Glad the weather is warming some and that it's not raining (even though we could use the moisture). Will start extending my walks soon. The loop I do now is too short--need a bit more time on the toes.

Got some new photos of newest granddaughter. She's photogenic! Look forward to seeing her in person.

5600 days left in my countdown. Started at 7300 (20 years of days). Have journeyed through 1700 days so far--about 4.7 years. Around 15 years left in the countdown. Hmmm!

5601

Interesting day! Dental hygiene kicked off the day (after morning rituals). I'm still not brushing well enough to fend off gum irritation. So I'll be taking a brushing class in a couple of weeks. 40 years of this problem! I think it's more of a DNA issue than anything I can correct--but I'll take the class--can always improve in some manner.

I came away from the dentist with the hungers. I've stuffed food down all day. Not sure where that's coming from. Mental dental!

Today I experienced a brief session with a Tesla coil device called a BioCharger... A chiropractor (nearby also) has been given the device for testing so he's giving sessions for free... It's like being in a mad scientist's laboratory--arcs and sputters and the smell of ozone...

I'm not sure if it did anything--it was a short session. The chiropractor is Shawn, who was treating me when I was seeing Dr. D. Also turns out that he takes my medical card. So, I'll be setting up appointments with him (he's nearby) for both adjustments and Tesla coil sessions (perhaps).

Bumped into JH at the cafe. Was good to see him. He's 70+ and still dancing, running, biking, and doing many other things. An inspiration!

Egads! I'm scheduling so many things I may have to have a calendar--that'll be a change!

I slept poorly last night (probably because I slept during the day). It also got quite cold last night. I tried to make it without the heater--shouldn't have! Will remedy things tonight!

5602

For some reason, I thought I had already posted today's update. Don't see it so I guess I must have dreamed that I did it.

Warmer today! Windy , but mostly clear. Bright, brilliant sunshine! Awoke late again today. And took a nap after lunch--went to sleep quickly and slept about an hour.

Just finished a marathon several hours of afternoon exercises, dinner, shave and shower. Have a dental appointment in the morrow morning so had to do some things to prep tonight. I continue to feel that doing more and varied exercises will help moderate symptoms. Not sure if it's doing much for any cognitive dissonances, but it seems to be helping otherwise. Perhaps I'll have to turn into an exercise machine and just eat, sleep, exercise and egest.

I wish the two movement books I ordered would get here. I want to see what they propose and start working what they suggest into my program. I've got another acupressure massage scheduled for Thursday. That will be good to get as well.

I've looked a bit more at the Bowen therapy, especially the place that's nearby. I start working it in once I finish this series of acupressure sessions.

Early to the bed tonight so I can get going in the morn. Now this post is done and not in a dreamtime--perhaps.

5603

Another day of sleep. Awoke late (read late last night) and still slept/rested after lunch, like a log. Hibernation is taking over. Still did exercises, walk, run to the library to get new books, but finally had to rest/sleep for nearly two hours.

Finished the O. Henry 2006 stories last night. Final story was one I had read in a collected works. It's a really great piece of fiction and I stayed awake reading it late into the evening.

Picked up two new collections at the library. Could have looked for some of the collected works of the O. Henry winners, but didn't do so. Went for new authors and new titles.

Days have been spectacular. Clear skies and brilliant sunshine. Weather reports speak of a warming trend over the coming week--mid 30's at night instead of mid 20's. Some warming trend!

I keep anticipating some kind of breakthrough with my symptoms--some change/shift that will let me plan a restart. I continue to exercise walk, and increase my physical activities--plus or minus my increased rest/sleep demands. Somewhere in all this flailing is the tipping point--the event or state that opens the door to moving onward, moving beyond my crazy coping. Let it be so!

Racing with the Doomsday Clock! Will I fully recover first or will the clock strike midnight first? 2012 is not that far off. Maybe the Mayans were onto what's happening. New islands appearing in Greenland. Whatever happens, it will probably be exciting!

5604

Awoke late today. Felt like sleeping in and did to some degree. Day was spectacular--sunny and not too cold. But after lunch, I crashed for nearly two hours. Just one of those days!

So didn't accomplish a lot today. Rested and restored! Did find some Bowen practitioners in the area. Will try them out when if looks right to do so. Bowen therapy was one of the interventions used by the guy in Australia who recovered from PD. He did Bowen and hydration work. I've been paying some attention to hydration this past week. My skin is really dry and I know I need to increase my water intake. Bowen and water--more pieces of the puzzle(s).

Everyday there's something new to deal with and address. No end to beginnings!

Saw a person I haven't seen in a long time today--GdeB. He didn't recognize me and so we never talked. Later, I wished I had reminded him of who I was and talked with him a bit. Too late now--an opportunity vanished. I let my hesitations take control and lost a chance to affirm my progress.

L called tonight and wanted to meet at Whole Foods. It was fun showing her the place--she hadn't been there yet. We nibbled on all the free samples and ended up just getting dessert and drinks. We talked for quite a while. Her son is giving her sleepless nights and her work is intense. She's ready for a shift--a change of circumstance.

I spent a lot of the day dealing with my tremor--using the tools to moderate their presence--but still had a lot happening today for some reason. Anxiety! Lots of anxiety today. What will tomorrow bring? Let it ring, let it ring!

5605

Been working with the affirmation's tool a lot today (this week). I've been focusing on the habit of tremoring--the patterns I've created around the tremors and trying to cope with them. Now, I'm simply noticing the tremor and do the affirmation designed to cut it off. In general, it seems to work. Sometimes have to say the affirmation a lot, but it eventually works.

I was resting today and had drifted off into sleep. There was a noise from outside that startled me and kicked the tremor into gear. Despite my grogginess, I started the affirmation and the tremor went quiet.

Have also been affirming that I am recovered--not on my way, but already there. Sets up a different way of looking at the day's events and circumstances. In conjunction with those thoughts, I've been asking myself what do I want to do since I'm recovered. No answers yet, but I'll keep asking the question.

Still investigating adding more exercise into my daily routines. Will be nice when the weather allows me to explore riding a bicycle. One of the "I never give up" sites is hosted by a person with PD who uses a low-slung tricycle. He's the one who's ridden thousands of miles since he was diagnosed. He uses the trike so he doesn't have any issues with balance. I don't seem to have problems with balance, but I am already recovered!

For some reason, I feel logy tonight. Will most likely do an early horizontal and read some. Weather has been a bit milder and I am getting used to the colder spells it seems. Of course! I'm already recovered! What should I expect? Enough of this silliness. Time to rest!

5606

Ran across some sites today by people who don't give up. One man has biked nearly 50,000 miles since he was diagnosed. Exercise can slow down the effects of an illness, as these people have discovered and that they now promote.

I've been starting to reach the same conclusions and have been increasing my exercise levels. Looks like I need to do even more--not in a competitive mode, but in a fun, stress-free manner.

These people's sites have a lot of encouraging, helpful information. I'll report more later.

Good day today! Working with the tools I got from Chris regarding habits and breaking the patterns. Spent a lot of time on that issue today with good results. Healing is a matter of belief. Recovery is a function of positive affirmations. So be it!

5607

It's been a chunky day. Keep feeling like resting/napping. Still bubbling some from yesterday's treatment, but that's not the total reason for the way I feel today. I'm churning about in the waves kicked up in yesterday's session. Questions of what it is I am doing (or not doing) and what changes to make that will create better results. Habits! I am a creature of habits--I try and codify everything (diet, schedule, way I sleep, and so forth)--turn them into formulas. Nothing works that way. It all starts unraveling and creating loose threads that don't hold anything together.

I had one great moment today though! I stopped by the donut shop after going to my mail box this morning. There was a man there that I know. His son used our computers in a project we did a long time ago, and went on to do some successful things with Amazon.com. The man always remarks on that event each time we meet. The last time I saw him, I'm sure I'd told him of my diagnosis. It was clear today that he wasn't thinking about our last conversation, and I didn't feel like bringing the subject up this time. I had just finished some affirmations regarding my habits and was at a still point.

I interacted with him as my "clear" self. It felt great to do so! I was aware of the fork in the conversational road and chose the alternate route. It was like I took a quick step in the direction of not being my symptoms. It was an energizing interaction.

So one of the tools Chris gave me yesterday has already worked. Every moment brings up an opportunity to make such choices--just have to notice and act.

Like I said though, I'm still going through waves of wanting to rest/sleep today. Have done some as the day unfolded. Will no doubt do more. Don't recall any dreams from last night. Seems like I dreamed something important, but no memory of what it was about. May even be a residual memory of the previous night's mega-dream. There will be more tonight!

5608

Went for a treatment today in SC. It's been 2 months since I was there last. Was overdue based on my sense of where I am and what we worked on today. Chris talked a lot today about creating patterns (habits) that are not helpful, and what to do to disrupt those cycles and create routines that are more helpful--that produce more positive results.

On my own over the past two months, I've started focusing on what wasn't working and letting those thoughts direct my actions. It's really very simple--focus on what's working and keep doing more of those things while dropping the non-productive elements (obsessions).

We talked quite a bit about anxiety and how I've let those thoughts take over. Anxiety is a fear of something that hasn't happened--that isn't real. In the Chinese medical system, anxiety confuses the Qi--which is the basic state I've been experiencing--confusion. Confusion leads me to paralysis (literally and figuratively) and I start obsessing and creating poor habits--ones that do not produce positive results.

Today's session was one of the most difficult I've had over there. I couldn't settle down and grow still. I started shaking when I got there and kept it up for nearly the entire time I was there. Since I've returned, exercised and eaten dinner, I'm much quieter and the shaking has subsided quite a lot. The drive over was stressful--it's been two months since I've made that trip and it was like starting over. Coming home was easier--especially after having had a treatment.

So, I'm on a hunt for poor habits--ones that are fostering anxieties and keeping me locked in non-productive cycles. May the poor habits fade away and be replaced by ones that are beneficial! And it is so! It is so!

Dreamed an elaborate dream last night. I was on a campus and was with a group of people who were escorting a guest professor around the place. We stopped for lunch at a cafeteria. I was the last person to get a steak sandwich, the last one on the serving table. Everyone else that had wanted steak had got theirs. Mine was like the leftovers and was not as big as everyone else's.

When we finished lunch, we left to go to another building. We took several ATV's as transportation. The guest professor insisted on driving the ATV we were in. I asked him if he was comfortable at the controls and he said he was. He had some adventure-style kind of background.

We took off across the campus. We were hurtling over some open ground when suddenly we came upon a culvert. The professor did something at the controls and we made it across the culvert without a mishap. It was tense! I thought we'd crash for sure.

We got to the next building. It was some type of sport's arena. There was a circular urinal in the men's section that we got in line to use. It was crowded. As I got near the front of the line, several men cut in front of me. I didn't say anything since they looked like they really had to go, but I felt chagrined, like when I got the last steak sandwich.

I woke up and cutoff the dream state. It was time to begin the day.

5609

When I came back from dinner last night, I had a "clear" space for about 2 hours (and on into my sleep time). The tremor stopped and the sense of pressure released for that amount of time. Why? Nothing I can point to as a cause. Had to drive up the peninsula to their house. Cafe was busy and noisy (food was good). I ate something simple--soup and 1/2 sandwich with a cup of herbal tea. P and his wife talked virtually non-stop. It turned chilly by the time we finished and I drove home on the bayshore freeway madness. Lots of stimuli, doing several stress-related things, and a clear space emerged. Perhaps it was just relief to be back in my cave, but it didn't feel that way. It felt like several things clicked into place and I went still and symptom-free.

Was good to get the experience that I encountered--stillness, lightness, energy, and feeling normal for that period of time. Today everything reset to the standard symptoms and energy flows. Although, I do seem to feel a bit like last night on most days, after I do my afternoon exercises and eat dinner. It could be just a respite caused by knowing the day is winding down--that I survived another one. But last night's sensations were more like the several "clear" times I've had during the past year--almost all in conjunction with eating a meal--some with travel involved.

Anyway, it was a good experience to have had. Each episode lets me know that becoming clear is certainly possible--just an issue of duration and what conditions create the shift.

Thought a lot today about making plans for what's next for me. Someplace warm? Most likely, although I've noticed that after the first few cold days I'm not reacting as strongly to the cold. I am bundling up, but I seem to be acclimating somewhat.

Someplace with some community! Don't want to continue to be so isolated. Economic! Has to be! I'm going to be stretching things fairly thin as it is without medical issues being added. Rural, open, not crowded, not noisy, and many other parameters. Like I said, I need to get clear on my criteria and begin the search. As Omar sez, "The bird of time has but a little way to fly, and lo the bird is on the wing!"

Have a treatment in the morrow over in SC. Cold but sunny! No rain, thank goodness! On the road again!

5610

Having dinner with a friend, P, tonight. Will be good to get out even if the temperature is going to plummet tonight. Should be out and back before it gets too cold.

Went for a chilly walk today. Wind was blowing and creating a bit of a chill factor. Have mostly sloughed around all day, until now. Will update this post when I return unless there's nothing to update. Bon appetite!
********************************

5611

Had to keep a heater running all night last. Temperatures rocked on down! Actually slept better with the room a constant (or nearly constant) temperature.

Went for my walk today--it was about 40 degrees F--made for a brisk walk. Keep a shawl draped over my shoulders to stave off drafts--which are the insidious triggers for my tremor. A single pulse of cold air on my neck/shoulder/arm sets everything in motion. Well, I've got longer days now--they're are just cold longer days.

Reading the 2006 O. Henry short fiction collection. Superb stories! Beautifully rendered. Great subjects and characters! 2006 was a very good year!

Winds are backing down some now. Getting a bit less cold for the moment. The wind was creating a significant chill factor for most of the day. The acupressure massage I got yesterday seems to be having some carryover into today. Nothing in particular except that my jaw is still loose and relaxed versus how it felt yesterday.

Have a treatment scheduled in SC on Monday. First one in 6-7 weeks. Will be good to restart those sessions. Monday will be with Chris. It'll be the one year anniversary of starting treatments there, and Chris was the first person I saw last year. Full cycle, but hopefully one that is not so intense this time around--please!

Got a wonderful note from my spirit brother up in OR. He's encouraging me to recover and come visit with him in early summer to restore, reset, and lock in my recovery. May the heavens look favorably on such an event and make it happen--I will do what I can to make it so!

Friend P left for Africa on Wednesday. Hope she's enjoying her adventure and being there for her son's birthday. Happy birthday, N! Many more!

5612

I got an acupressure (Qigong) massage today. It helped me settle into my body versus the floating feelings I've been experiencing. He works with the channels, takes the several pulses at each wrist, looks at my tongue, and works the muscles, joints, and body really well.

I came home really hungry, ate a bowl of rice and lentil stew, and then went for my walk. Walk felt good after the massage and eating. Tremor has been quiet for most of the day.

I awoke with a tightened jaw (ear, neck, teeth). I think I may have slept with my jaw clenched last night. Anyway, it was really noticeable when I got up. When I went for the massage, he asked if there were any trouble spots. I mentioned my jaw (or whatever was tight and not flexible). He did some release work on the channels in that area. By the end of the session, the area was looser. Now, it feels completely released. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

As the afternoon came on, I found myself feeling sad and despondent. It had to do with thoughts of the whole last year and the one coming with me still struggling to be recovered. I grow weary of the battle (as I've done so several times along the way). I sat and meditated for a time, did my afternoon exercises, and feel better now. The waves of darkness come and go, ebb and flow! As does the waves of light!

Cold weather making itself felt tonight and into the weekend. Temps will be below freezing in some places. Sunny by day and icy by night! Keeping the heaters working--let the warm times roll!

5613

Dreamed last night about being in a classroom. I was a guest instructor and I was showing the students how to use a graphical technique to decipher solutions. The problems were both mathematical and narrative (linguistic). The graphical technique stepped through a logical structure that decoded the mathematical and linguistic elements. I have no idea what the problems actually looked like. I was just teaching them how to use the tool.

There was something that disrupted the class. It had to do with some change I had found as I came to class. As I approached the building, I found a handful of coins on the walkway. I picked them up and pocketed them. During the class, I mentioned my good fortune, but for some reason several students became upset. I had done something that was taboo at that school. The disruption caused the class to end early.

Today, as I was doing laundry, I saw a $10 bill on the floor. There were only two people in the place other than me. I checked to make sure that I had not dropped it from my wallet. I hadn't. I had found it near a set of washers that a woman was loading with clothes. I asked her if she had dropped any money. She reached for a small pocket on her vest and found it was empty. She had dropped the bill. I returned it to her.

In the dream, I had to return the coins to the place where I found them. No luck in my dream or in reality. Didn't win the MegaMillions last night either. Someone in TX won the jackpot--$122MM! Good for them!

Long day! Time to roll it in! Have an acupressure massage in the morning. Got a raise today! The SS monthly figure was adjusted for cost of living so I got a modest increase--along with many others. Roll on!

5614

Cold and sunny day! Getting colder over the next few days. Perhaps record low temperatures on the way!

I was going to give my daughter a ride to work this morning. She got dizzy at work on Monday and caught a ride home, but left her car at work. I went to bed early last night in order to get up early today and take her in to work. I awoke at 3am, 5am and finally at 6am. She called as I was about to leave to say that she still didn't feel good and would be staying home today.

So I did my morning exercises early and went for a (cold) early walk. But I've been out of sync most of the day. For one thing, all of my meal times got shifted around--I eat by the clock for all practical purposes. Starting earlier triggered a whole sequence of early food events. I've napped some, rested some, read some, did some errands, and just completed my afternoon rituals (early).

Tremor was really present most of the day--especially when I went for a chilly walk. It's moderated a lot at this time and I'll work to keep it so. Today did light weight lifting--that really feels good on my arms and upper body.

Picked up the 2006 O Henry fiction winners at the library. Will be some good reading!

Quiet now! A lull in the ambient noises! What a treat! Nearly time for (an early) meal. Let there be food! And it is so!
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Ate and it was great! I'll probably have to snack later since it's so early. Coolness starting to settle in now. Was something else I wanted to write about, but whatever it was has slipped away. Some Blogger features were not working--like the spell checker. Now, it is back online. End of story with not much glory! Ciao!

5615

Whole lot of shaking going on! My tremor was activated today even though the weather was summer-like. Every day is a new experience! Ever since I've been diagnosed, I've not been able to predict what is going on from day to day. Something different--that seems to be the basic paradigm. Keeps me awake, sort of. Also puts me to sleep. Was both today!

Yesterday, I took a break from my afternoon exercises--ostensibly to give my muscles and joints a breather. Could that have been instrumental in triggering my tremor? Who knows! Could have been what I ate yesterday/today. Too many variables!

I went to EastWest to sign up for a healing workshop. It was already filled! Bummer! The person sounded like he would be interesting to experience, but I guess not this time. His name is Eric Pearl and he talks about reconnecting. His web site is www.thereconnection.com, but doesn't say a lot about what he does and so forth. Like many of today's healers, he's busy teaching others to be healers--I was hoping to take the workshop with that in mind.

I'm attending two lectures this week--on the power of the mind and drug-free techniques for managing panic attacks. I'm going to start going to more of their lectures--many are free and it will give me ideas and tools to work with as I start my 2nd year of recovery. We shall see--hopefully, eventually!

Started investigating how to make use of my medical policy's chiropractic features. There are four chiropractors nearby. I went by one of the offices today. It was in a dreary building down a dreary corridor, and no one was there. One off the list! There's another in Midtown. I've seen their offices--nice and inviting. I'll talk with them and see about setting up a schedule. Can do 26 visits per year--one every other week! What a deal as long as they are not into "bone cracking"--which I don't think they are. They have a full set of Asian medical associates--should be fun! Fun in the sun tomorrow! So be it!

5616

A really bright and sunny day! And a warm one as well! Got some messages back from the nutrition person, Rebecca. Things are starting to roll!

Had a big Indian lunch (DeeDee's) and came back and collapsed for a while. Was feeling hungry today and have eaten accordingly. Met with L for lunch. She fixed her wall heater so that it's back in operation. She's a mechanical whiz! Can fix just about anything. She replaced her dishwasher herself, including moving the old one out and the new one in. She could start a home repair business on the side.

Tremor has been more active today. It's quiet when I'm resting, but noticeable otherwise. I'm taking it easy this afternoon and focusing on getting it quiet. Feeling drowsy and a bit foggy. May head for the bed early tonight--after I reply to Rebecca's notes.

The morrow portends more warmer weather. May it be so!

Had an interesting dream last night. Of course, I've forgotten what it was about, but I recall that is was interesting. I know I noted in the dream that it was one I should remember, but it still slipped away. It will return. Nothing is lost forever in dream time. And it is so!

Picked up the East/West Winter catalog. Lot's of good speakers on the roster. Will see if I can get to some of them.

5617

It's a bright and sunny day! But, I'm in a fog of sorts. Can't seem to focus today. Feeling like Ii want to do something, but not sure just what. Went downtown and picked up mail. Felt good to get out and move about. Came back and felt like leaving again.

Spent some time checking to see if there's a chiropractor nearby who also takes my medical insurance. Turns out there is an office fairly close (not within walking range, yet). Will drop in on them next week and see how it feels. I'm so used to Network-style (Dr. D) chiropractic. Will be a shift to go back to "bone-cracking," but we'll see what they do. The insurance pays for 26 sessions (minus a small co-pay) per year. Might as well take advantage of it.

I also looked into the entire Integrative Medicine group that's across the street. Lots of resources there. Know one of the people on staff there. Good to know what's available as everything unfolds.

Bright and sunny today, but still chilly. When I went for lunch, I ended up sitting in the shade and it triggered my tremor. Weather! Weather! Weather! What a difference a cloud makes!

Dreamed last night about being in a classroom. Was sitting in for their teacher. I didn't know the drill. There was a woman there helping me step through the tasks. It was all really laid back. I wasn't feeling any pressure from the situation--was relaxed and having fun.

I've been dreaming quite a bit each night. Dreams are fading as I awaken, but are starting to stick. I expect I'll be recalling more of them now.

Reading through one of the short story collections--the one by a Korean author. Stuff is rich, dense and very allegorical. He's been compared favorably to Borges. I can see why after reading nearly half of the pieces. He cites people like Umberto Eco at al. He's clearly writing with some views in mind. I just hope it doesn't get any denser.

Day zooms along. Been up for 6 hours, but it feels like a lot more time has passed. The clocks have become like melted wax. They shift and change it seems to match the way the days unfold. There is objective time and subjective time. They are, for me, grossly out of sync.

Rest time arrives! Time to rest, perhaps to nap. Then begins the afternoon rituals. Today is Life Force exercises and weights! The beat goes on! Thoughts today of whether or not I'm "living" or merely "existing." The beat goes on! And on and on! Until it doesn't. I stretch therefore I am! Time to stretch.

5618

Sunny, but cool today! Clear and bright, but windy and cold! Stayed close to my heater today.

Felt like sleeping today. Just wanted to crawl into a warm space and sleep. Did take a rest/nap in the early afternoon, but could sleep even more. Yesterday's acupressure massage lingers on. It was a nice treat and break from daily rituals. And it's so convenient!

Luca, the practitioner, is full of light. He's from Italy and still has an accent. He's a very positive person to be around. A healer!

He took his training from Dr. Tayam, the person I learned Qigong from. Small world!

When I was at the store today, I noticed a man who was walking stiffly and whose eyes were darting back and forth, as if he were in a panic. I realized that he had PD and was wrestling with the symptoms. I don't think I have that panic-stricken look any longer, but he reminded me of myself, especially a year ago. I wanted to speak with him, but I had no way to do so. I looked for him in the checkout stands, but he was gone already. Perhaps, I'll see him there another time and can make contact. The encounter made me realize how far I've come and how grateful I am for the level of my condition--I feel I'm still at Stage 1 and don't seem to be going any higher. So be it!

I continue to work with my ever-expanding exercise program. It feels good to do what I'm doing, and I'm looking forward to doing even more. Not in a competitive manner, but in a relaxed, energy-building way. The books I have coming from Amazon deal specifically with this area of recovery. The book from the guy in Australia got postponed for shipment until March! That's a long time for getting a book from Amazon. It will get here when it does! Meanwhile, I have plenty to do.

5619

Got an "acupressure" massage today. It's a style of Qigong massage that complements the treatments give by the PDTeam and the Qigong exercises that I do. It's also within walking distance of my place and the price is favorable. Good deal all around! I'll be getting two massages each month while I'll be doing one PDteam session each month.

So, I start to expand my recovery activities. Feels good. Still awaiting more books on PD and movements/exercises, plus the book from the guy in Australia. Amazon is having problems fulfilling my orders. First time I've experienced delays from them--usually they ship stuff almost immediately.

Last night, I ended up doing some more investigations as to why Previous Posts on this blog (and others) are not working with the new Blogger. Finally, managed to uncover a way to report the problem as a bug (it was not easy). Hopefully, they'll be able to propose a solution. None is obvious to me! There's a ton of entries on the Group Help pages, but they're all over the place, and mostly just ID the issue. No one lists and solutions. It's not a big deal, but it is a puzzlement!

Winds kicking up tonight and temperatures are dropping. Time to wrap up some and engage the heater arrays. Was nice over the past few days with moderate temps. Last night was really mild. But, I guess it is winter time. Oh, yeah!

5620

Good day! Weather was nice and symptoms were moderate. Set up an acupressure treatment for tomorrow morning. Part of the strategy of expanding the number and type of health care resources I'll be using to help with recovery. The offices are across the street so can walk there and back--convenient!

Stayed up later than usual last night trying to chase down a bug solution for a bug that's affecting my blogs. When I switched over to the newest blogger, I discovered that it's not showing the correct list of Previous Posts. If shows the correct 10 for the last post, but for any other post it shows the same list of 10, not the 10 previous ones for the current page. The bug's been reported, but it's not showing up on the known issues list.

Oh, well! They'll fix it one of these days.

Full moon tonight! Balmy weather! Rains predicted! So be it!

5621

Almost balmy day! Spring into winter! Holidaze are over! The year begins!

Not sure where the day went. Didn't rest/sleep much if any. Day just seemed to slide by without any major events. Picked up a few food items. Read a bit in the SciFi book, which I think I'm going to just take back to the library. The stories are not very interesting. They deal mostly with issues regarding the publication of SciFi stories (parodies, satires, etc.) that are boring after the first couple have been read. It takes all kinds, but these are not for me.

Did weight lifting tonight to round out the day. I can feel the effects of just these mild exercises on my upper body--feels good. Going slowly (only using 3lb weights so far) and building up the repetitions. It's convenient to use a set of hand weights and not deal with going to a gym. Will consider that after I work at home for a while.

Read an article (online) today about the booming "brain training" field. Lots of sites popping up with brain games and exercises. Interesting stuff!

I'm about to contact the PDTeam and set up some treatments for this year. I'm going to only do one treatment a month for the next six months, unless more are needed. Most of the work is daily, on my own. Will use the funds not spent on treatments to get some local body work done. Will explore how that works out in terms of how I feel and experience symptoms.

Have some more work to do with nutrition and supplements. Will pursue doing that over the next six months as well.

Sliding into 2007! Lots to do still, but feeling good about where things seem to be headed. Onward! Into the mists!

5622

A crisp, clear and sunny New Year's day! Looks like a new year today! Energetically, I feel good. I'm doing 1.5 to 2 hours of exercises (Qigong, Life Force, Tibetan Five, weights and walking) every day now. When it warms up, I'll also start doing some biking. Movement! Movement! Motion by the ocean!

Also looking for some kind of working gig that involves movement and motion--even if it's a volunteer activity.

Slept well last night--didn't want to get up this morning, but managed to get up and get going anyway. Ate somewhat lightly yesterday so am craving a bit today--had oatmeal for breakfast and part of an apple fritter. Been craving animal protein the past few days and have been eating some meat in various forms. Will have to see what today brings--lots of places are closed so my choices are somewhat limited--but I can create something tasty with what I have.

In addition to exercising each day, I also spend a big chunk of time dealing with food (preparation, shopping, eating and cleanup). Easily another 1.5 to 2 hours there as well. Two hours here, two hours there, makes many hours everywhere.
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And, oh yes, my nap/rest periods! Came back today from lunch and went out for nearly two hours. Read some as well, but really conked out for a while. Got up and did LF plus Tibetan drills and it's nearly dinner time. Not hungry--had a big lunch. Will much lightly a bit later.

Quiet out this afternoon--like there's a stillness that's settled over everything. People enjoying the sun and the holiday. It's 5 o'clock and not dark! Yes, the days are getting slightly longer. Hooray for a longer day!