3795

End of the year is finally here! 2012 will be upon us! Did my laundry this morning along with some errands and such. Picked up the finger foods for the gala at the H's tonight. I slept for a while in the afternoon. Also did a round of Qigong after the nap. I was able to complete the session on my feet--didn't have to sit down at the end. I have to do the exercises earlier in the day when I'm stronger. I seem to be gaining some energy and strength as I continue with the procedures. Will keep it up and see where it leads.

Had a mixed set of dreams last night. Don't recall the details but I see to remember a fuzziness or haze over the dream actions.

New year! New beer! Have to leer and give a cheer! Never fear! 2012 is here! About 6 hours until midnight PST! About 3 hours until the globe drops in NYC! Millions on the move! Dates are going to be, well, numeric. 1/1/12,1/2/12, 1/11/12, 1/12/12 and so on! There will be a 12/12/12!

3796

Countdown to the New Year! 20+ hours here on the west coast. Let the joy unfold!

Watched a mystery film tonight--A Shock to the System. Featured Michael Caine as an unnoticed misfit who ends up doing in all of his adversaries when he discovers the power of causing death. It was a fairly straight-ahead story with enough twists and turns to make you wonder how it will turn out for the main man. DVD comes with an alternate ending so you can see what might happen from two perspectives.

I dreamed a convoluted and complex dream last night. It opened with me in a bedroom of a house. The dream bedroom corresponded to my actual bedroom. There was a hallway from the dream bedroom to the rear of the house. (In actuality, the hallway is my bathroom. At some points in the dream I awoke and noticed the dream overlap with my actual place. Early in the dream, I awoke as someone walked alongside the house. It was a man and he was coming from the rear of the house. He carried a flashlight and it was shining through the windows and into the bedroom. As he walked past the front of the house he was met by three men who were heading along side the house and into the rear area of the house.

I decided to get up and see where everyone was coming from or going to. I got dressed and walked out a back door into the rear yard. There was a huge shed at the back of the yard. There was a lot of noise coming from the shed and it was lit up with strings of bright light.

I went inside and it was like a carnival. There were tables set up with all kinds of games--mostly gambling games. At one table, I watched a woman (who was an ex wife) use some die, some metal tabs with built-in cameras, and an odd-shaped sculpture to tell fortunes or read the results of the die throws. She would throw the die, pick out some relevant results and mark those die with the metal tabs. She would then move the sculpture around so that it's extensions would reveal a pattern of the combined objects. From this final state, she would tell the person's fortune or life outcomes.

I got irritated by all of the noise, lights, and chaos--especially since it was taking place in my back yard. I complained to a few people, but only got sneers and laughter. I tried to make my way back outside but the place had turned into a labyrinth. I finally made my way out of the shed and found myself in busy street. It was not a pleasant neighborhood and I found myself walking purposefully as if I knew where I was going. I kept hearing voices and snatches of conversations that were taunting and strange. I ended up getting lost and turned around so badly that I didn't recognize anything. About then, I was coming up to a dead in as the street angled upwards. I awoke feeling scared, threatened and leery of who or what I was about to encounter.

The dream had a lot more details and interactions, but I've captured the gist of what took place.

Didn't nap today (although I did sleep in this morning). Did Qigong and a weight training session with my hand weights. Dropped off my storage locker fee. I've had that locker for nearly 10 years! I'm long overdue in sorting through the contents and emptying the place. Maybe in 2012!

3797

Slept in this morning! Didn't want to get up but finally did so. Didn't have the heater on last night. Will do the same tonight. It has warmed a little.

Watched a film Divided We Fall tonight. It's a Czech film about a neighborhood of people during war time. I'd seen the film before but have no record of when. I realized that I had seen it after just a short way into the story. But, as usual, I didn't recall how it unfolded. It was a good movie. It seemed a bit long but it had some nice twists/turns toward the end.

The end of the year is on its way! A leap year comes leaping! I saw an article about a proposed way to standardize the calendar. It was a clever scheme that would make the calendar dates fall on the same days forever. Leap days would be handled by adding and extra week every 5-6 years. Clever idea! Would reduce the costs of dealing with an ever changing annual method.

Did Qigong today! I've been diligent about doing it every day for over a week now. I did it earlier today and made it through without having to sit. Shooting for a solid month so that sessions become something I do daily. I feel like that will make a difference in my well being.

3798

Truck returns--looking like new! They did some great work on it. Cost in total going to run about $4500 though! Thank you insurance! Will have to see about getting back my deductible. Had lots of expenses today--repair deductible, medication refills, auto insurance plus a few miscellaneous items. January will be a heavy month--then things will level out come February (and Leap Year)!

Driving the truck is like learning a new set of driving tasks. Manual instead of automatic; Shifting instead of doing nothing; manual windows instead of power--and more! But happy to be back on board with my trusty truck.

After I pulled out of the lot, I noticed some smoke coming from under the hood. I had loosened the coolant bottle top and had not screwed it back on tight. I was blowing coolant onto the engine. My oops! I felt stupid but I'm glad it was a minor thing. Back to expensive fuel fill ups instead of the no fuel needed Prius. But I'm happy! I don't have to go looking for a new vehicle.

Warmer today/tonight! Will be warmer over the next few days. Happy, happy! Did Qigong this afternoon. Had to sit through the final few procedures. I'll need to do the sessions earlier in the day when my energy is higher. Waiting until the end of the day doesn't work as well.

3799

A bit warmer today/tonight. Trend is for a few warmer days over the next week.

Had a mental/dental session today. They did a deep scaling and some antibiotic implants. Had to sit through some intense work, but did alright. Found out, through the dental records, that the Gentle Dental dentist has retired and I have a new person next time I go to them. Changes! Always changes!

I'm noticing that I need to see a vision specialist and get my glasses upgraded. Right eye is badly focused. Need to get new lenses. Can use the Medicare Supplemental coverage that I've been paying for over the past few years.

Did a Qigong session today. Did it right after doing a session with my 5lb weights. Had to sit through part of the Qigong. Felt good to do the weights though.

Year rushes to a close! The end is near! No word on my truck! It should be about ready to come back home. I'll have to take it in for a service just to make sure all is well.

3800

Warmer days and nights to some degree. Everything was still fairly quiet today. Many people had the day off since the holiday fell on a weekend.

Watched a movie The Joke tonight. It was based on a Milan Kundera book. I recall reading the book and finding it dense and not all that much a joke. They did a good job with the film but the subject was still not that compelling.

Have a dental appointment tomorrow. Not clear that I've made any progress in that department despite my daily efforts. Will find out tomorrow.

I got a call from MF. They are still up in Washington state. She fell and broke her hip. They wired it back together using several pins. She's doing well and is recovering fairly quickly. It was good to hear from her.

Did a round of Qigong today. I've done it daily for a week now. It's getting a bit less effort to do a session. Feels good!

3801

The day is over! Presents are unwrapped and smells of Xmas leave the air. It was a long day. Got one phone call from TD. Got an update on our daughter's current turmoils. Sorry to hear what she's having to deal with as life unfolds.

Watched an Hungarian film--4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days. It was a blunt film about a woman dealing with a criminal abortion. Her roommate is pulled into helping her and there are consequences for that as well as the medical procedure. There were difficult to stick with scenes where the action freezes and the camera doesn't move. It's a good film--just difficult subject and difficult to watch as things unfold.

I'm feeling really tired today. I did a session of Qigong. That lifted things a bit, but I'm still feeling somewhat out of it. I slept in late this morning and took my medication later than usual. Was also a bit late with mid-afternoon dosage. Will be back on track as bedtime happens but still feel that funky feeling.

Will be reading some of the Rimbaud novel with the H's tomorrow. And, should hear some news about my truck--whether it's ready for the road again. Let it be, let it be!

3802

Twas the night before... and all is well! Except for the cool weather, the empty forms, and the thunder on the lines. We go where the wee go but we find no dough though. The time moves slowly and the days drift onward.

Did a Qigong session this afternoon. It helped pick up my energy levels but I'm still lost in a fog or two. That makes several days in a row that I've managed to do a Qigong session. May it bring me to balance and to health.

Made it to the CG for a late brunch today. Almost waited too long to head that way. Had a scramble with toast and potatoes. Nice meal! I'm not sure what I'd be eating if not for them.

Didn't win the MegaMillion lottery today--but no one else did either. Have to pick up a new ticket before the next drawing.

Xmas day tomorrow! Ho, ho, ho! I seem to know about half of Twas the Night before Xmas. Not sure why I only know that much and not the rest. The mysteries of the mind!

3803

Did the final weight training session for this year. Will resume next year. Felt good to exercise today. Also did a Qigong session on my own. That makes 4 days in a row! Just have to keep it up. Feels right to be doing it everyday. Tonight's session I made it all the way through standing. Keep it going!

Cold today and tonight. Weather says its 36 degrees but feels like 31! Seems that way for sure. Will warm some over the next week.

Crowds are out shopping. Stores and parking lots seemed jammed today. One more day (tomorrow) and then it will all slow down on Sunday. So it's just tomorrow to get through. Through and through! Crazy stories of riots at stores over tennis shoes and other "must have" items. The world is too much with us... Let it be, let it be!

3804

Small movement class today--only three of us including the instructor. Felt good though. Had a meal afterward that left me feeling wobbly. Napped for a while and then did a round of Qigong. Felt better then and went on to watch a movie.

Watched a Spanish film Butterfly. It was a film about the period when Spain was dealing with its independence. The story focused on a village that was somewhat removed from the major conflicts but that still experienced some of the effects of the turmoil. The action focused on a teacher (who was labeled a communist) and a young boy who was eager to learn about the world. The teacher and the boy became close as the teacher taught the boy the beauty of nature. In the end, the teacher is swept up and taken away. The boy is torn between having to call the teacher names and yelling out the names of some of the creatures he learned from the man. It's a moving story.

Weight training session tomorrow! The onward into the holiday week and its machinations! I'm feeling adrift! Adrift and afloat! Jetsam and flotsam! Debris on the sea!

3805

Middle of the week slow down! No classes today and I slept a lot. The cool weather helped--I just wanted to stay snuggled in the covers with the heater running. Got my quota of sleep time today!

Have a movement class tomorrow. And I did a round of Qigong today. The holiday season crunches forward. Everyone is celebrating something--the winter light is here!

I think I dreamed last night and today but the content got mushed. Dream away, dream away! Let the dreams play away! Come again another day!

3806

Weight training class had a small number of people but enough to make it a go. It felt good to push the weights around and exercise. Did a Qigong session tonight as well. That also felt good. I managed to stay standing through the whole session. I intend to do a session every day and see what transpires. Can't hurt and it might help!

My truck is making its way back home soon. Got a call from the body shop that it is nearly done. They have to order one part of the grill and it will be ready for duty once again. I'll be glad to be out of the rental car--it's great on gas mileage but lame on sight lines. Makes me nervous.

Dreamed last night that I was in an apartment that was connected to some common rooms. As I tried to fall asleep, several people came into the common area and started talking loudly. I was upset that I had been awakened and that the noisy people seemed like they were going to be there for some time.

That dream merged into another dream that also had something to do with rooms and accommodations. I wasn't happy in the second dream with how things were going. I awoke about then.

No classes tomorrow! Will have to improvise and keep on doing something to fill the gap. Thursday and Friday will host classes. Then a week or more without anything.

I realized when I got the call from PH's daughter regarding the memorial just how isolated I am. I don't have a roster of people that I can call on for assistance (like driving to the memorial). I have to do something about that issue. Where to start?

3807

Had to send a decline to PH's family's memorial announcement. I don't think I can drive that far. There will be a lot of people there. She had an extensive network of friends and family members. I'll look into possible travel options but I'll probably end up not going. We met over 20 years ago.

Dreamed that I was working with a group of people. We were making a tapestry with embedded phrases and words woven into the patterns. There was an elaborate set of rules that dictated where things appeared on the piece of art. I was working with a team of people who were responsible for weaving the patterns. There was a woman who was the head of the team. She was tracking the progress and telling us when we had to make corrections and adjustments. There were a collection of people in an adjoining room who were also following the work's progress. They were being kept up to date via announcements that the woman director released to them. The announcements were made by a man who was in formal dress. He made his progress statements in a very deliberate manner with little emotion or excitement.

A bit less cool today and this evening. Still had the heater running most of the day. Weight training session tomorrow but no dance. Haven't gotten into a daily pattern of doing Qigong. Will do a round tomorrow for sure!

3808

Watched a time travel movie tonight--TimeCrimes. It's a Spanish film based around a premise that what happens when someone accidentally travels back in time. Paradoxes ensue and take up a lot of footage as the time traveler tries to untie the Gordian knots that are created. It was a reasonably absorbing story that kept everything simple and did not get into any major solutions to the problems that could have been fostered by such a jaunt.

Coolness prevails! Had the heater running much of the night and day. Big crowd at the CG for brunch. Too many people in the world!

Made my way through a pile of papers that I've been avoiding for a while. Managed to make my way through them and bring some order to this house. More to be done but some progress was made.

Got a call from LL. She's doing well and seems content in her place by the beach. Time to head for the bed! Will be at the H's tomorrow for some reading about Rimbaud. Light class schedule this week (versus no classes next week). Have to keep myself going and not sleep the weeks away!

3809

Cool weather and sleeping deep! I did manage to get up today, finally, and do my laundry. I could have slept around the clock. I've also been eating like a horse. I'm feeling hungry and have been putting away the food. It's as if my metabolism has gone into overdrive. I just want to keep munching on snacks and such. Can't complain but I may have to stock up on more stuff than I normally keep. Had a delicious dinner of tilapia, mashed potatoes, and steamed veggies tonight.

May take a trip to the coast tomorrow. Will see what the weather is like. If not, I can always sleep more.

I dreamed last night that I was part of a business/college campus. We were developing some types of technologies. The place was a cross between a boot camp and huge campus of learner/creators. The protocols for the place were alien and strange. I felt odd being there and adhering to the protocols of the place. But there was something satisfying about the place and the people. I awoke with mixed feelings.

M's memorial took place this morning. May she be dancing on her journey.

3810

Twas the week before Xmas and all through the streets
People are zooming for pastries and meats
The growl of the vehicles fill up our ears
And we charge onward to the newest of years

Weight training class felt good today. I'm definitely getting used to the 12lb weights. We had a small crowd today, but I'm glad we're still going to have classes over the next week. We'll only miss a week of classes over the 10-day holiday period.

Weather is staying cold. I've had enough of that frosty and stuff! Looking forward to some warmer times and maybe warmer climes.

Watched a movie that I had checked out a few months ago. I don't recall watching it even though my blog entry says I did so. The movie didn't get any better in the meantime. It is called Primer. It's about two techies who discover a way to move back and forth in time. It's totally implausible. It's an indie film made on a really low budget. It's almost a family-made film since it was made in the director's father's garage, etc.

Have a pile of bills all coming due over the holiday time--medications, medical insurance, truck insurance, dental work, rent, credit card charges, deductible on wreck, storage, mail box, and probably some more. Get it all done as the new year begins. Got a slight raise in SS that will help. Got a fortune cookie today that said I'd be getting a surprise inheritance. May it be so!

3811

Had a Qigong session today and a movement class. Had a hefty lunch and came home and slept for a bit. The weather remains cool and continues to exacerbate the symptoms. Cool and wet! Not my favorite combination of stimulation.

Will have movement and weight training classes even though we are into the holidays. That will make the holiday week seem a bit less long and will keep the juices flowing.

Will be doing the Qigong every day at home as well. Also checking out any other options at the healing center across the street from my apartment. Will love to be doing more and not having to drive to reach the places. Walking is good!

Had a dream about being in a house with other people. It was a house I've been in before, in other dreams. There were some issues with door locks and keeping the place secure. I think there were people from my past living there as well as some family members.

Have a few details to take care of as the year rolls to an ending. Some bills, some cleanup things, and miscellaneous items. Nothing monumental--but I need to get on it! Time is near!

3812

Last PD gait and balance class for this year today. It was an energetic session with lots of holiday music and some cookies and such at the end. Also got to name the eight reindeer on Santa's sleigh (a bit of cognitive exercising). I can recall the almost entire "Twas the Night Before Xmas." How? How does the brain do such a thing?

I came home and slept for a few hours. Has a big lunch--lasagna. The cold weather is prompting me to eat more. It's cool tonight. My heater barely keeps up with things. It's only in the high 30s. Will be a challenge if the weather gets in the lower 30s. Wearing layers helps. But I'd be better off in a warmer clime. On my list!

Having complex dreams. Don't remember much except for the overlay of strangeness. Dreams will be dreams? Qigong and movement sessions in the morrow! The rush to the holidays is upon everyone. Let the good limes bowl!

3813

Last PD dance class for this year today! It was mildly celebratory. We will resume in the new year--beginning the fourth year of sessions. How time flies!

Also did a weight training session today and got a tuina massage. I'm ready for some horizontal time although I do feel well. Several people returned to the weight training session. We had gotten a little thin for a while.

Weight training will persist over the holidays except for the week at the end of the year.

Weather remains cool with cold temperatures in the night. Had some difficulty getting out of bed this morning--wanted to stay wrapped up. But finally got up and out, away and about.

Final gait and balance class tomorrow for this year. Will resume in the new one! 'Tis the season to be jolly! Ho! Ho! Ho!

3814

Another cool day and evening! Also had some rain as well.

PD dance and weight training sessions tomorrow, plus a tuina session as well. Read with GH today and did a round of Qigong. Starting to build a daily practice around the Qigong session. Will probably have to do it in the mornings. Doesn't seem to work later in the day or evening--I'm too tired by then.

No news regarding my truck yet. Look forward to getting it back. I don't like the rental car all that much. It's novel but not that pleasant to drive.

Had dreams about the car crash--a replay of the scene that kept happening over and over. I was being questioned in a court room. I couldn't be sure where the person who initiated the accident came from. Out of nowhere was the key sense of what had happened.

I awoke this morning feeling really good. The well being faded by the time I came back from the H's and doing some shopping. I slept some. Then puttered the time away watching a couple of TV shows before doing Qigong. Fell asleep watching the 5-element meditation mandalas. Time to head for the bed.

3815

Got a haircut today! Thought I'd best do it now since next weekend will be haircut chaos. Everyone will be getting their trim before the holiday happenings.

Watched a very good German film--Revanche (Revenge). The action took a while to get off the ground, but it ultimately got going. There were several cuts that were startling--made me jump when they happened. The storyline was not all that deep but did a lot with very little. There was a short film (Foreign Land) that was the director's first film 25 years ago. It was a mysterious piece that was relentless in its strangeness and feeling of imminent danger. The director was Götz Spielmann. He's directed 11 films, about half have been TV movies.

Did a Qigong session today and slept some. Have some physical things happening. Not sure what they have to do with everything. Will watch and see where things lead. RECEAPC--mnemonic for the key Qigong sections: Ready position, Empty hands, Cloud hands, Earth hands, Around the world, Push hands, and Closing procedure.

3816

Day of sleep! I slept well last night and continued that effort into the morning. Finally made it out and about to run a few errands and grab some brunch. Cool weather today! Cooler tonight as well! Have had the space heater on for most of the day (and last night).

Watched an action film--Salt. It's a female heroine secret agent story with overtones of Manchurian Candidate, Bourne Identity, and other spy films. It's well done with lots of stunt work that was actually done by the star, Angelina Jolie. Amazing stunt work on her part! Lots of action and twists and double twists. Highly improbable for the most part but the action is good.

Supposed to rain some tomorrow. We could use some moisture. Ready for the beddy! So it goes!

3817

Weight training session went well today. I hoisted the 12-lb dumbbells and felt like they were lighter than they have been. Yesterday's tuina session no doubt helped pave the way along with a good night's sleep. I slept well last night.

Lunar eclipse tomorrow morning! Have to get up around 4am to see it though. The holiday season rushes forward. No really good holiday news! Just more of the same with icing on top.

May try and make a journey to the coast sometime this weekend. I'm a bit shaky about doing it but it's been a long time since I've made the trip. Using the rental car with unlimited mileage makes it something easier to do. No pressure! Just crank up the space ship and go!

I've had a host of dreams over the past week or so. None that I recall right now, but lots of images have moved across the silver screen--the mindscape. Coolness still reigns! Persistent cold weather. No rain!

Early into the bed tonight! Suck up the warmth from the small heater and the closed off room. Let the good times bowl!

3818

Spent the day attending to things. Qigong class to start the day, movement class thereafter, and a tuina session to close. Feeling awake and alert despite the coldness in the air. Staying active and on the move seems to be the secret. I'm been rolling over ideas of what I might start doing--in place of waiting. The waiting produces no results--just a lot of lost days.

Have a PD weight training class tomorrow. Hope people keep coming. We had a light group on Tuesday. Need at least six of seven to make it worthwhile for the instructor.

Thinking about heading over to the coast this weekend. Will be a break from the repetition.

Tuina session really left me feeling good tonight! Can't get enough of that wonderful stuff! He may have a slot open on Tuesday. Hope so!

3819

Cool today and more so tonight! Temperature in the high 30s! The heat goes on!

Had a gait and balance class today. Several people in this class are not doing well. The illness takes its toll and it is difficult to watch as it happens.

One of the people in the PD dance class mentioned the idea of a sanitarium (or sanatorium). Such a place would be an ideal setting for people in the later stages of the illness. Right now, the only still operating facilities are mostly in Europe. If I win the MegaMillion lottery, I'll have one built in this area as a prototype. Many such places are going to be needed. There were many places in the early 1900s, but they are mostly abandoned historic sites now.

Will be doing Qigong and movement sessions tomorrow. Will also be doing a session with my tuina person. It will be the only session this month. No more until next year, perhaps! Don't know if he's planning to make the trip down here after the first of the year.

I need to be making some plans regarding my situation as life unfolds. I realized this past week that I'm just a footstep from the edge of the precipice. It would take very little for me to trip and tumble into the abyss. I need to bring some order to what I am doing (and not doing).

3820

Had a sad and moving PD dance class today. There was an acknowledgment of her passing and what she meant to those still here. But, there was still a pall of sadness around her going. As I was waiting to sign in for class, the receptionist got a call telling her that another patient had died. She must get such calls all the time.

The weight training class was somewhat erratic today. We had to exercise in a different room because of a symposium that was being held. The room was small and stuffy. Also there was only three of us in the class.

It was cold last night and it's cold again tonight. I'm not sure the new double-pane windows are doing all that much. I put the heater into the room that I'm occupying and close off the remaining room. Doing so optimizes the concentration of the heat.

I tried watching a Fritz Lang movie tonight, but couldn't focus on it very well. His work is interesting, but I just couldn't stick with it. I seem to have grabbed a whole bunch of films that are difficult to watch.

Gait and balance class tomorrow. I realized today that I should use the mileage-free rental car to do some more extensive motoring about. May make a run to the coast. Haven't been there for quite some time.

Had some edgy and slightly weird dreams yesterday and last night. I don't recall the details now, but I do remember how strange they were.

3821

Daze day! Window replacement guys showed up at 8:30 this morning. The prep work I did in getting things moved away from the windows helped streamline their work. They were in and out in less than three hours--maybe a lot faster since I wasn't there.

I went to the regular dental people and changed my next appointment--moved it out so I can go to periodontist an extra time. Than, went to the bank and clarified fees and charges I might expect under the new banking regimes. Turns out that I'll maintain a fee free status. I checked the safety deposit box and verified that it was empty. I canceled it and returned the keys (got a $10 rebate for bringing the keys back).

When I got back home I managed to locate the pink slip for my truck and my (expired) passport. I realized that I need to sort through my piles of stuff. I need to clean things up!

Went to H's and read to GH from the Rimbaud novel. Then I took him on a round of errands to all the places he needed to visit.

It's promising to be cold tonight. I'll see if the new double-pane windows make a difference. They look slick and my apartment is cleaner/clearer for their being installed.

PD dance and weight training tomorrow. Let the classes roll!

3822

I got the place ready for the window's people who are coming tomorrow. I've moved everything away from the windows so they will have room to work. I was pleased and surprised that I could do such sustained work. It felt good and helped warm things up since it was cool today/tonight. I have a few last minute items lined up that can be moved in the morning.

I got an email message saying that one of the people in the PD dance class has passed away. She was quite elderly and recently had a fall plus some infections and respiratory issues. She had gone to the hospital and was scheduled to come home. Instead, she went suddenly. People are falling like autumn leaves.

I started watching an intense movie--Clean, Shaven. It's about a man who has schizophrenia and what he does as he tries to contact someone. As I say, it was intense! So intense that I stopped watching. I couldn't deal with the cacophony of sounds and dreary subject matter. I fired up another DVD--Far from Heaven. It was a bleak peek at a "perfect" family who have secrets and hidden flaws. It was a bit of a tear jerker but well acted. The secrets covered a range of issues, beliefs and attitudes.

Aside from working on setting up the room, I made a run to grab some food around midday. Otherwise, I slept when I got back. I experienced some flushing and redness while being wrapped in the blankets. It's been happening more and more as the temperature keeps changing. My medications seem to be wearing off more quickly than they were--may need an adjustment. Clearly do better when I'm more active. Weekends I'm not all that active. Also, last week with the traffic accident didn't help.

Last week was filled with unexpected events (car wrecks, deaths, changes in normal patterns, dealing with insurance issues, and more). I've went out of balance and am just now coming back to a bit of peace. Going to be a busy week. Will probably need to sleep some more!

3823

Did the laundry today, ran some errands and grabbed a bite for lunch. Then I slept for a couple of hours. Figured I would use tomorrow to prep the place for the window repair people--if that's really possible. It's cold tonight.

LA called and dropped by for a visit. We ended up at Starbucks. Place was crowded with students doing some serious study. Hope they all score high on the SATs! It was good to see LA (it's been a while) and talk with her about things (life, work, technology, taxes, government, and such). She's doing well although her company is about to go through some changes. I walked over and back which felt good. My gait seemed to be strong and steady.

I had lots of thoughts as we talked--about what it is that I need to be doing to get things in balance and provide as much protection as possible on how I am progressing. I realized how isolated I've become and how many barriers I've tried to erect ostensibly to protect myself. The traffic accident this week made it clear that with little effort my life can spin out of control. I hate to be thinking such thoughts, but it's the reality. I am already out of control--in more ways than one.

While I was in the Laundromat today, a scruffy-looking woman walked into the place. She walked the length of dryers and came back my way. She stopped when she was in front of me and stared at me. I said hello and she asked, "Where were you born?" I told her my birth city and she asked if I drank liquor. I told her no. She spun on her heels and started toward the front door. She said something that I couldn't understand. She was obviously very angry, very aggressive, and probably very crazy (no doubt from lack of alcohol).

The world is too much with us--big and small. The elements are coming unraveled. Things have become uncertain. And I am shaking (literally) in my sleep. Tomorrow beckons!

3824

I'm a bit less anxious today. Made it to weight training class and had some progress on the vehicle front. CSAA, the insurance company, rocks! An agent came within 45 minutes of our telephone conversation. She scoped out the damage and determined that the truck was reparable. Within a few minutes of her making that assessment, she had a tow truck called and on site to haul the vehicle to a body shop. By late afternoon, the body shop called with an estimate of the damages. The truck is being repaired!

The estimated cost will be around $3000. I'll have to pay $500 since that's my deducible (my expensive bowl of soup). But that's much less than what I would have to shell out for a replacement car if the truck had been totaled. All the pieces fell into place. My rental car fees are covered by the insurance policy. The body shop estimated that repairs would take about two weeks. The rental coverage extends out to 30 days, so all is well. I'm not thrilled with the rental car but I'm getting used to it. There's some chance that the insurance company will recoup the deductible by going after the person who caused the crash. In the meanwhile, repairs are underway. I feel greatly relieved. I was dreading (and excited also) about having to locate a replacement vehicle. But, I think things have worked out well given the shock I was feeling right after the accident.

Meanwhile, the window installation people are munching their way through the apartments that are being upgraded. (Have to wonder if the rent will go up!) They'll do my place on Monday. So, I have the weekend to get more relaxed and learn more about the rental car. It's an amazing piece of technology! Not one that I think I like, but still amazing!

Weight training felt good today and went well. It helped smooth out the automobile anxieties. Onward and onward!

3825

Got in touch with the insurance people. They will be making an assessment of whether the truck is considered to be totaled or not. Having to buy a replacement vehicle is not going to be easy no matter what they end up valuing the truck. Well, at least there was some progress today.

Turned out I am covered for a rental car up to some limit. If they say the truck is totaled, I have s short period of time to accept their offer before I lose my rental coverage--or some sort of variation of that issue. First, I need to get the valuation!

I took a quick peek at craigslist. There are hundreds of cars for sale. My problem will be how to get around to look at candidates.

My windows are going to be changed out next Monday. They look like they get in and out quickly. Monday is a good day for me.

Did Qigong and movement sessions today. They went well and helped leaven the energies surrounding all of the shifts and changes. After classes, I grabbed a sandwich and did some shopping. I then conked out for a few hours. The flushing and redness has returned with an intensity. I think it's a combination of anxiety and reactions to my medications (brought on by the anxiety). Rest and sleep help.

I'm having telephone problems. People keep saying they've tried to call me but never connect. In addition, my land line instrument is a total puzzle. I can't figure out how to use it to simply dial out. I did manage to kludge a way to make a call with it, but it's just too strange! How could I have had that phone for such a long time and not known how to use it? Really too strange and too annoying!

So the saga continues and gets more weird and puzzling. Time travels on becomes unraveled. Saw where JB passed away. He had been diagnosed with PD a few years ago, but he was older (he was 85) than me by several years. The death notice indicated he had fallen and broke his hip during the past year. A truly deadly combination--a fall and PD! Goodbye JB! See you in PD heaven!

There was a guy, J, in Qigong class today. I had me him before at the PD institute. He's been working with the people over in SC. He's not taking any medication but is using some herbal remedies and other interventions. He has pronounced tremors and severe foot shuffling when he moves. He appears peaceful and is apparently a well taught body worker. May he be as well as he can be! He's going to lead part of the class next week.