6108

Dreamed two dream pieces last night--One that involved a camping trip. There were four of us (from the men's team) and we had decided to camp just off the road a little way into the woods. We were on bicycles that were loaded with our gear. At one spot on the ride to the camping area, one of us dropped his wallet. By the time we got stopped and turned around, a car came along and hit the wallet sending money, credit cards and other items scattering along the road. We stopped and picked up everything. Nothing was lost; it was just an inconvenience. There were other aspects of this dream that took place when we actually camped, but I don't recall the details.

A second dream took place on an airplane. It was a "games plane" in that everyone on board was playing some kind of game--board games, electronic games, card games, puzzles, crosswords, and more. The dream was very lively and festive. People were having a lot of fun and everyone was in a great mood.
*************************************
Had dinner with my daughter tonight. She's all tanned from her lifeguard/swim coach activities. She's getting ready to head back to college full time. I'm glad she's heading in that direction.

She had a good time in Las Vegas and New York. She had some amusing things to say about "being a nice person" and being in the realities of the Big Apple. She said that her current boss said that she could come back to work anytime--the door was open. That's great feedback for the work she's done there.

She may have to move soon--the lady she shares a place with may be leaving. We talked about possibly renting a place together. We're looking into that possibility.

I was somewhat catatonic today. Managed to get up and do a round of Qigong, pay some bills and read a bit, but ended up listening to a lot of the coverage regarding New Orleans. The scope of the disaster is difficult to comprehend remotely. I can't help but think of the thousands of people who are being dislocated and how they are to survive. The fact that many of them are being hauled into other states seems incredible.

Guess we here on the West coast will get to experience something comparable one day--when the big one hits. No safe havens--living with Mother Nature everywhere.

6109

Remember part of a dream from last night. We were looking for a gathering of people that were in a building in a small cluster of places near the downtown area of a small town. As we spread out to look for the group, I began to fly. I was able to launch myself and soar at will along the streets and up and over the buildings.

At one point, I zoomed high above a building and dropped down onto the roof. I was near the edge of the roof, which was dry-rotted and punky. I could feel that it was going to give way at some point. I had a fleeting thought that the roof would break off and I would fall to the ground. I knew that it was all a function of my attitude, my belief. If I thought I would fly, I would fly. If I thought I would fall, I'd fall. I think I leapt from the roof before it broke free and flew--but I don't recall the rest of the dream.
*************************************
Lots of communications back and forth with everyone. Talked with my daughter and will be seeing her tomorrow evening. Got a message from son in the South about his plans on being up here next month. Got a message from son in the East (all of these directions are relative to my location in the North and refer to locations in California) about him coming over for a visit next week or week after. And will soon see my sister in Memphis. Wrote a note to my sister in Virginia. The most communication among this collection of people in some time. Planets must be aligning. It's a good thing. I'm glad it's all happening.

Slept in late today, but have felt great all day. Did a Qigong session when I awoke. The fifth element, Earth (spleen), seemed to be the key to unlocking my energies. Went to the rec center to be interviewed for the fee reduction program. My income is so laughable it wasn't on the charts. I got a 75% reduction level for the classes I wish to take (up to a total of $300 of reductions in one year). Pays for a lot of dancing.

Spoke to P for a long time today. She's leaving for the UK tomorrow to visit her son and some grandkids. Got an invitation to R's 70th birthday bash--a geezer bash. I'll be in Memphis so I'll miss the event. Too bad!

Scary how the years have accumulated seemingly so quickly now. Feel like New Orleans--flooded and overtaken by time.

Was heading for a late lunch/breakfast and noticed how shaky I got until I downed a protein-rich smoothie. Followed that with another snack, and that with a sandwich. Seems right to be eating less more frequently. Doing so appears to moderate the shakiness and tremors.

Completed the Munro piece in the New Yorker. Meticulous story, rich with details and character nuances. Great writer! Will finish up the final story in the Oates book tonight.

Just had a moment of stillness--not quiet since the katydids are chirping and there's other ambient sounds--but everything seems caught in a bubble of stillness, a blessed space. A fragrance wafts from the garden, a rich pungent smell. A scent to match the stillness.

Last night there were dreams of flying. May tonight's dreams be fed by the stillness. Be peace. Practice the beauty of what you love. Two thoughts lifted from the masters.

6110

Only recall a vague sense of dreaming last night. No details.

Went to the chiropractor this morning on time. Didn't want to be late getting to L's house. I volunteered to be there to meet the TV repair people--one of those we'll be there between noon and 4 pm events. I decided it would be a good opportunity for me to do my laundry. I was feeling a bit anxious since I didn't know exactly what they were supposed to fix on the TV. J had left them a note with his telephone number at work, but I was still concerned about not knowing exact details.

After I arrived, I loaded my laundry into the washer and started it going. The phone rang and I answered it, thinking it was the TV people letting me know they were coming. Turned out to be the DSL guy, who was also scheduled to come look at the phone line. His window was 8 to 8. I didn't know anything about expecting a DSL technician. Then began a flurry of phone calls regarding the DSL issues. Meanwhile, the DSL guy come to the house.

Had to corral the dog and put him in a bedroom. The DSL guy was obviously fearful of the dog. My wash completed and I had to put things in the dryer. The TV guys arrive. The dog is going crazy. The TV guys say they have to take the unit to the shop. This is a 54-inch plasma display that weighs a ton. They came in a big truck, fortunately. They took the TV away. The DSL guy said the signal to the house was OK. The dog kept barking. My laundry finished drying.

I packed up everything I'd brought (laundry, books that I didn't get a chance to read, a copy of a New Yorker with a short story by Alice Munro that I started to read) and came home and took a good nap.

Made it to Qigong class tonight (final one in this series). Was energizing, as usual. Next class is Power Healing, which I think I'll take. It's a type of Qigong with emphasis on healing movements and postures. Have an appointment at the rec center tomorrow afternoon regarding getting on their fee reduction list. I think I qualify. Will make the PH course really affordable, plus will be a great discount on dance cards.

Got a call from my daughter, S. She's back from her trips to Las Vegas and New York. She's completing on her job and getting ready to head back to school. Glad she's figuring out how to do that. Will payoff for her in the long run. Meeting her for dinner on Wednesday evening. Will be good to see her.

Had a note from my son, F, that I answered last night. He and his family will be up this way the 2nd weekend in September, a few days before I head for Memphis. They're getting set up so that they can buy a house--that'll be great for them in both the short and long run.

Sending good thoughts to the people back East who are in the middle of the hurricane debacle. Going to be some time before some of them get back to normal conditions. Mother Nature will have her way. Storm front should have made it to Tennessee by now. Will call my sister tomorrow or Wednesday to check on things.

Dreaming of dreaming tonight... in the fields of glowing golden light... good night!

6111

More festival adventures today after L's water heater was repaired. Last night, while we were watching this ditzy movie (The Mexican), her hot water heater expired itself. It had made it about 20 years past the warranty date. Fortunately, she was home when it rusted through. She caught most of the water that was released.

But, she had to be ready at 8 a.m. this morning for the repair people to arrive. They have a 24/7 service that will swap out the hardware, replumb any needed connections, safety strap the unit, and set it up for inspection and code adherence, all in one handy-dandy visit. The miracles of home ownership and repairs.

After she cleaned up things, we walked downtown to see the rest of the festival booths, exhibits and musicians. Was a really beautiful day on the weather front. Bright sunshine and just enough breeze to cool things off in the shade. One band did a Zydeco tune and couldn't help but think of the Big Easy sliding underwater tonight. Looks grim there in Louisiana.

Don't remember any dreams from last night. Got home late (after the crazy movie) and fell into a deep sleep. Awoke early to grab some croissants before they were bought up by the festival crowds. All in all, a good day/weekend. Been a little slow today, but otherwise feeling OK.

Volunteered to be available at L's place tomorrow afternoon. Her son has called in the Super Nerds to fix his big screen TV system. It's not working and it's not easy to figure out what's wrong. They'll have their computer diagnostics and will be able to chase down the problems. But they need a warm body there to let them in and sign the work order. I registered a fleeting sensation of panic when I was initially asked if I would help. It was a momentary resurgence of the stress-related reactions I've been experiencing. Surprised me that it came up with such an innocuous request--but there it was. Good that I could recognize how it came up like it did.

Before heading to the festival today, I managed to put in a good Qigong practice. Makes the difference in my overall state of being. I still drifted in and out throughout the day, but I could catch myself when going out and pull myself back in.

Read past the opening interview in the Studs Terkel book, Hope Dies Last. I was not impressed by the opening interview and almost stopped reading the material. But, I pressed on and am completely engaged now. He's interviewing people, older people mostly (so far), and distilling their wisdom. Really powerful. Love the interview where Studs is sitting with an 84 year old man, looking like two old geezers having breakfast. The subject they discussed--the dropping of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima by Terkel's companion. Anyway, he's now got my attention.

Just about finished with Heat, the book of stories by Oates. Powerful writing and powerful stories. I'm going to have to try one of her novels--so far I've read mostly her short fiction. Should try a longer work and see how she handles that type of material.

Just got a phone call from RS. He talked with M at the shop, and M said he had seen me recently and wondered if I had been ill. With my weight loss and really thinning hair (loss), I look like death resurrected. It's no wonder that M would have that concern.

RS and B have settled onto an 8-acre ranch in the wine country. That had to be a punishing relocation, but they sound like they've made it. Good to hear his voice--and concern. I think I'm on a track back to health and wholeness. I'm feeling so, not instantaneously, but gradually. I'm on my way.

6112

Danced for about three hours last night and then went brain dead--couldn't remember dance steps. Guess three hours of focus, concentration and movement saturated the synapses. Slept deeply and awoke late.

Feel a bit lost today. Am moving, but doing so slowly. No big bursts of ambition. Relishing the peace and quiet. The street fair is downtown this weekend so things are a bit chaotic. Did manage to do a Qigong round when I arose not so long ago.

Dreamed last night of two things. One dream involved making some kind of device that could be used for play and learning. It had several panels that were sensitive to light beams. The kids could use handheld gadgets to activate the panels. I was working on a unit with up to four panels. There was some limitation on the number of panels based on the type of components being used. I was trying to maximize the number of panels given the current technology.

A second part of the dream involved walking through a village in a foreign country. There were artifacts being sold by the villagers. Most of the artifacts had some type of symbols painted on the objects. The symbols were in groups and looked like some crude alphabet. I asked a villager who was selling objects what the symbols meant. She proceeded to launch off into a detailed description of the symbols and their meanings. I was surprised at the depth of knowledge she had on the subject. It seems that the symbols were in fact descriptions of mythic events in the lives of the people. The artisans used the stories to decorate the objects and to preserve the legends. It was how they passed on the myths from generation to generation. I spent a long time in this part of the dream, asking about the symbols and hearing the stories.

L just phoned and said she was downtown in the midst of the festival. I said I would join her in a bit. I'll walk there and get my Qi moving. Driving will be problematical because of the festival.

Also need some food... Had a yogurt and banana, but need something more substantial... Festival foods--follow my nose... Wherever it goes...

6113

Woke up this morning and headed off to yoga class--to discover that there was no class today. Came home and did a round of Qigong plus a few yoga postures. I seem to recall the teacher saying that there would be no class next week, but I was in yoga bliss state and promptly forgot what he's said.

Dreamed last night of being in some kind of Hardy Boys mystery scenario. We were in a museum or historical building and were trying to unravel some sort of puzzle that had to do with the place and the people there. We were a group of guys who knew each other and had assembled at the place. We were housed in a barracks building that fronted a courtyard that gave way to the main building.

I don't recall any more details than what I've described, except that I felt like the place was in England. There was an older man there, who was in charge of the facility. His features and such are a bit hazy, as if he were a dream image--which he was.

I posted a letter to my sister. My trip back home next month made me think of her. I've not talked with her for over 30 years or so. She's now 64 and our youngest sister just turned 63. Almost two centuries of experience in an unlikely triple. Don't know if my letter will make it to her--the address could be off or old. But, worth a try since we are all coming to the end of our days.

Dance class last night was OK. My energy was a bit off, as it's been all week. Can't seem to climb up and over a shelf of low energy and step into the energy zone. Noticed that I looked stiff dancing last night--my body rigid and tight--not loose and flowing. Motivates me to start doing more yoga to shake out that tightness if I can. Was looking forward to yoga class this morning for that reason. But was not to be. Have to begin doing more at home anyway on a regular basis.

See a picture of myself doing nothing but movement and dance in order to maintain my body. I imagine having to give up any hopes of writing anything of substance as I have to pursue my physical maintenance.

Thoughts upon thoughts, thoughts about thoughts. For what purpose? For what reasons?

Dance tonight. Will see if I better recall the newest ones. Betcha Neva, Quand05, Party Crowd and more. Will be good to move. I know that the music and dance will lift some of the pall around my being. I keep thinking of what I'm confronted with in finding a place to live. In picking up and moving and settling into a new place. All imaginary, nebulous thoughts--nothing to do with realities.

August shakes down to the final days. Labor Day weekend looms. No plans or reasons for a holiday for me. It's all a holiday right now, but without a lot of festivities.

When I was eating lunch today, two men sat at a nearby table. One pulled out two packs of cigarettes and proceeded to puff away. It was a posted no smoking area, but he was oblivious. The wind wasn't in my direction so I could ignore him. People downwind were reacting, but not sure where the source was for the smoke. I pondered saying something to him, but let it go. I'm sure he's going to be awakened to the local ordinances soon enough--he seemed to be a chain smoker. He was a blustery, loud-talking person. He was with an older, silver-haired science type. They were discussing, noisily (but not so they could be understood), something technical that related to a hand-held device. They passed the device back and forth several times, commenting on features.

6114

Went to the chiropractor this morning. They did an exam (with that device that measures muscle tension) and I was not as well aligned as I was in the last exam. Wasn't out by that much, but overall I was in more tension. Oh, well! Hoped for a better set of readings--points out I need to be doing some yoga daily in addition to the Qigong. There are stretches and extensions that yoga does a better job of handling. Yoga, Qigong and dance--keep on moving.

Dreamed last night of being on an offroad bicycle trail. I had made it up to a staging area near the top of a large hill. I turned around and started back down. It was really steep and treacherous. There were heavily rutted paths that were filled with big pieces of rock. If I was moving fast, I couldn't control the front wheel. It would bounce and twist as it hit the rocks and debris. So I had to slow way down and navigate carefully.

I came to a juncture where the choices were to take a side route that was a lot slower, but safe, take a really steep route that was totally suicidal, or (get this) run straight off the cliff and jump over to a huge tree and climb down from there. To latch onto the tree required that the jumper wear a pair of gloves that were studded with spikes. The rider was supposed to smash the spikes into the tree to provide purchase as the biker climbed down the tree.

There was a rider who had just made the jump and was hanging by the spikes fairly far from the ground. He started to loosen one hand to start down the tree and his other hand lost its grip. He slid down the trunk of the tree using his spikes as brakes. He survived, but barely.

I decided to not try the jump and spike program. Instead, I went back up the hill and rode across the meadow to a gate. They were letting riders though the gate, which connected to a street in what looked like a small town. People were lined up along the sidewalks as if a parade was about to begin. In fact, a parade was scheduled and that's why they had the gate closed and were metering bicyclists onto the street. I learned that when the parade started we'd have to clear the street.

I rode up and down the street several times and then awoke before the parade arrived. In this dream, I could feel the effort required to pedal the bicycle and navigate the offroad terrain. It was a very physical dream even though it was quite detailed and visual.
***********************************
Still reading my way through the book of short stories by Oates. Although she's quite different than Munro, there are similarities as well. They make a formidable pair of writers. Both have an incredible eye for detail and characterization. And there stories are so well formulated and delivered.

I'm still writhing along--reading, journaling, exercising, dancing, sleeping, and eating--to round out my "ing" life. Doing everything but writing. But, I'll not go there always again. Time to shift, to lunge, to jump off that cliff and cling by my hands (spikes) to the large tree. Yes, time for annoyances to disappear and creativity to emerge. More than time--past time.

Days are starting to mush together. There are no clear beginnings or ends, just events that flow into and away from each other--that don't converge, but diverge instead. It's like looking at a tree full of birds. They are everywhere, but always changing places. Same birds, but different arrangements, different patterns. Can't tell which bird is first, last or in any order.

Inadequately described, that's my current experience. Or so I believe it to be. It may be otherwise, but I can't tell the difference. Mush is mush, no matter what the form or metaphor.

The calendrical contortions draw near. Events will happen quickly, now that the plans are made and the messages sent. I await the sound of clocks chiming out the hours. Perhaps incorrectly counted, but still an alerting, a sounding outward to awaken the sleeping senses.

Who knows where the werewolf goes when he finds his fingers and touches his toes? Alliterative but silly. Arrgh! The gardeners arrive! Time to escape into the outer worlds.

6115

Blank on dreams from last night. Remembered nada of any dreams I might have had. Curious.
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Drove to the ocean this morning. It was windy and chilly, but refreshing. There were hordes of birds sitting on the dunes. Only walked past one person on the beach, a fisherman. Otherwise the sands were empty of people.

There were several driftwood assemblies on the beach. The mysterious artist from the Miramar Beach book still appears to be active. The assemblies would be destroyed by the incoming tides.

I walked for a long ways. First headed south and then back north so the wind was at my back on the return. It was fairly cool for an August day. Went to the fish and chips place for lunch. Had a calamari and fish plate with rice--fish broiled. Calamari was excellent. Fish was somewhat tasteless. Rice was nice.

Drove back into the heat and hubbub of the peninsula. When I got home, fell asleep in between reading more of the stories by Oates. Been thinking a lot today about what I might write (aside from this endless journal). I can't seem to find a starting place--a theme, or concept, or even good story ideas. Can't find a purchase point from which to begin writing as I envision myself writing.

I've dumped thousands of words and hundreds of pages into this journal and my poetry blog, but after a year (and more than that) I'm where I've always been--about to start writing. I'm growing tired (and bored) with this expectation, and I'm running short of time. Spoke to H today and asked how the writing was going. I told him I'd written hundreds of pages, but nothing that was publishable. Just spout, spout and blather. Blick and blong. Enumerated nonsense at best.

I've been here in my garden retreat place for nearly a year. I've not created anything worthy of publication. I've simply filled up spaces on the screen with dozens of dream fragments and desultory notes on mundane daily events.

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death... I grow old, I grow old... shall I wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled? Other poets inhabit my thoughts. Other writers inhabit my dreams. Where is the beginning and the end? From where does it all unravel?

Once again to dream, tonight. Let the silver fingers of the night caress my dreams and awaken me to wonders.

6116

Dreamed I was involved in a catering scenario last night. I was with a woman who was planning a dinner party, which she was going to cater. It was getting close to the time of the party and she was making changes to the menu, big changes. It was clear that she needed to make final decisions quickly and get on with the preparations. But, she just continued to make changes, even as some of the party guests arrived. It wasn't clear how everything was going to turn out. It looked like things were headed for a disaster.

I finally realized that she wasn't thinking clearly and that the party was doomed to failure. I didn't see what I could do to avoid the debacle. I awoke from the dream feeling upset over how things turned out.
**********************************
Short dream sequence in terms of me saying what it was about. In the dream state, the dream seemed to drag on for days and hours. It all dealt with the same content--the woman refusing to make final plans and letting things drift until it was too late, with me in the background not able to help redirect her efforts.

Went to M&E's today for lunch. They were babysitting one of their grandkids--cute as a button little red-haired girl about 8 months old. Kids are amazing creatures. It's a miracle they make it through those early years. They have to depend on others for so much.

Talked with E about getting older and the related problems. He's 72 and is experiencing essential tremor on both sides of his body. He talked about a couple of times where he felt like he was checking out, but brought himself back from the edge.

He's still quite active. He's starting a arts and music program in his local school district--setting up a system that will bring artists and teachers into the classrooms even if there is no funding.

He and M are also exploring intentional communities and self-sustaining gardens. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

My appointment at the rec center regarding fee reductions was postponed until next week. Feel a bit sheepish applying for the reductions, but they offer it and I believe I qualify.

Qigong class last night was a good thing--elevated my energy levels--although I didn't bound out of bed this morning. Felt like sleeping in for a while. Did get up and do a practice round though before heading over to M&E's.

Dance class tonight. Final class in this series. Class will resume in late September. Will be good to move some tonight and review the many dances. Onward I go...

6117

I think I recall a dream from last night's dreamfest, but I may be just making it up. Since I awoke, I've seemed to have forgotten my dreams, except for this possible dream, which came to me as I tried to recreate my dreaming state.

The dream wrapped around me winning the MegaMillion lottery. In the dream, I won the grand prize (which is around $80 in the next draw) and was merrily working with a group of tax lawyers on how best to set up tax-free trusts for my kids and grandkids. It was a pleasant task to have to do. I was having a ball doing it and other philanthropic activities. It was, obviously, a happy dream (or waking thought).
***********************************
Odd weather. Chilly August mornings and windy, cool August days. Used the library's computers to bring up and print some web pages--handy resource and smoothly implemented. Works off of a reservation system triggered to my library card number. Slick and neat. Walk in, scan you card, and the system tells you when you can use which computer.

They also have a WiFi setup in the building. So, I could take my notebook system there and go online at optical speed. Probably won't do much of that, but nice to know it's available.

Have an appointment with the red center tomorrow to see if I qualify for the Fee Reduction program. I should based on my income, but there may be some nuance, about which I'll learn tomorrow.

Feeling a bit logy today. Didn't eat enough solid food yesterday. Have got my system out of balance somewhat--too many sweets over the past few days. Have to maintain my discipline over what I'm ingesting and not take the sugar-energy paths.

Discovered this morning that my minifridge had become unplugged. The power source is next door and there's a junction box on my side of the wall. Someone had hit the plug next door and knocked the fridge offline. I don't think it was unplugged very long so my yogurts and juices were still OK.

Coming up on me being here for a year soon. Where did the time go? The days and months zipped by so quickly. Most of the time was spent dealing with perceived health issues (and reading, dancing, sleeping, doing yoga, practicing Qigong, and searching for the next steps). In some respects, it's been both a long year and a short one. And, there's much to do yet before the cylinders click over a full year of time.

It was about this time one year ago that I finished up with LF--and began collecting UI. It was also the time I started cleaning out the house I was renting and getting ready for my big move--or big sideways shuffle. I moved in here about 10 months ago. Now that really seems like a long time for some reason--and it's only been 10 months.

Getting close to time for my 7th of 8 Qigong classes. Two more sessions with this teacher and then I have to decide what's next--Power Healing or follow the teacher, or both. September is looming, which will bring the start of several journeys. Time for Qi--or is it Qi time? With or without lemon?

6118

Two vivid dream sequences from last night. In the first, I was helping define a list of essential criteria for a set of educational software products. I had been asked to give a talk on the criteria on short notice. I was a bit rattled at having to step in front of a crowd and enumerate the criteria without my notes or computer available. I had left those things in a hotel room, not expecting to have to use them so quickly. But, I was confident that I knew the majority of the talking points and could answer most questions that might be posed. The whole scene was like some form of educational conference with well-known speakers and presenters scheduled to talk.

In the second sequence, I was in a rural area. I was staying at a lodge or B&B in a small valley near the foot of a mountain. From the lodge, I could look upwards to the mountain area. The vista was heavily forested and there was snow near the peak. I decided that I felt like going for a run up the mountain. I left the lodge and ran down an access road that connected to a main road. The main road was the key thoroughfare that led away from the mountain and up its slopes. There was a village several kilometers up that road. I left the access road and began running uphill. The running felt great. I stretched out, took deep breaths, and made my way up the road. Occasionally, a vehicle would pass me as I ascended. Some of these cars were heading toward the village, some coming from that area.

As I neared the village, I became somewhat disoriented regarding where the main road headed. At one point, I had run to a dead end near some docks. There was a marina with dozens of moored boats. There was a crusty old man taking care of the docks and boats. He just looked at me, but didn't say anything. I started to ask him for directions, but didn't do so. I turned around, retraced my route and took another street that seemed to head upwards. I became lost again. I was running smoothly though and was feeling really good despite becoming lost.

At one point, I once again ran to the end of a road. This time, I was higher up the mountain and stopped at the edge of a cliff. Far below, I could see parts of the village. I kept on running and ending up on side tracks and dead end roads. But, the day was spectacular, the scenery was brilliant, the air was refreshing, and I felt relaxed and energized. I awoke while I was still trying to find my way to the peak. This dream segment makes me want to get out and run. Running in the dream felt so natural and healthy.
***********************************
Dance last night was like being in a dance marathon. I didn't sit out many dances so I was moving for the better part of three hours. Came away from the dance in a buzzed state--a good feeling of having been in motion for such an extended amount of time.

Landlady returned from her vacation. They seemed to arrive late last night, well after I got back from dancing. I notice that the ambient noise level has risen. It was really quiet while she was away. One less person talking, walking, doing things next door. The landlord was home alone and because of his not being around for stretches of time it often was really quiet all day.

Did my Qigong practice this morning. It really feels good to me and I don't mind the time it takes. Leaves me energized. Went and got a haircut this morning. Look a bit less wild now.

In a SciFi periodical I'm reading, they have stories by two of the masters of the craft. One has over 135 books published with no end in sight. The other one is 80 years old and can't stop writing and being creative. Reminds me of Studs Terkel--also reminds me that I have his book on Hope and haven't cracked it yet. Soon, soon.

It's a quiet lazy day--might hit the movies later today. They have two Audrey Hepburn films at the vintage film place. Probably also have something interesting at the CineArts theater. I love popcorn--no butter.

6119

Festival of dreams last night--or rather a dream about a festival. There were musicians, jugglers, acrobats and others. People were having a great time. It was a celebration and everyone was drinking and dancing. It was being held on a large outdoor area. Tents had been erected and banners flapped noisily in the brisk air.

I was at the festival in some capacity. I was wearing a flowing robe and a head piece that was quite different than what others wore. Except for the oracle. In one tent or area, there was a person sitting on a small stage before hundreds of festival goers. She, and I think it was a she, wore a flowing white robe and a head piece somewhat like mine except hers was white.

She was doing the oracle thing--being asked questions and giving answers some of which were disguised and indirect.

There was a precursor dream to this part of the dream, but I don't recall the details.
***********************************
About time to go dancing again. Went last night and it was fun. Tonight's theme is hot August nights, but the weather is not complying. It's rather cool and there's a brisk wind.

Day went by in a blur. Awoke late. Did my laundry. Read a little and now it's time to dance.

6120

Deluge dreams last night. I was with a group of people in the mountains. We were hiking along a trail that ran next to a stream. The stream was heavy with runoff from late snows. We came to an area where the stream bed was made up of cast concrete structures. They were very modern looking and made the waters cascade and churn because of the odd angles.

At some point, we were told that there were flash floods heading our way. The trail followed the stream and there was no way to move away from the water until we were at a junction downstream of our current location. We started hiking out at double time. But, we didn't make it. Before we reached the junction, the flood waters overcame us and we were pushed downstream by the surges. It was a chaotic scene with people being tumbled and tossed like leaves. Some of us managed to lash our bodies to the structures in the stream bed and ride out the worst waves of water.

When we finally reached the junction, I saw a couple stagger away from the flood zone. They were holding on to each other and seemed to be too weak to walk. They came to a puddle of muddy water, stepped into it, and disappeared beneath the water. I walked over to where they had been and I saw two large crab-like creatures in the puddle. The couple had been transformed into this creatures. There was still some evidence of which creature had been which human, but they were now crabs by all measures.

There were other surreal things that took place as well. There was something or someone that had swallowed a salmon. They were regurgitating the partially decomposed fish, spitting it out on the ground. There was also some form of surfing actions being done by some younger people. They were riding the flood waters, skipping across the tops of the concrete culverts, and jumping forward to land in pool areas where the water was calmer.

At this point, the dream became a chaotic flurry of all kinds of people doing all kinds of stunts and daredevil actions. I started to awaken about then. It was early morning.
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Made it to yoga class this morning. Felt good but I still was careful so I wouldn't aggravate my back, ribs, etc. Did what I could manage and it felt wonderful. The instructor is a substitute for the regular teacher. His style is less inner, but it's still worth the effort. Class skips next week and ends the following Friday, before Labor Day.

Heading out to dance tonight. See if I remember the dances from the week. Have reviewed the step sheets and that seems to keep the cache refreshed. Birthday night tonight--there will be cake.

I've been taking it easy, like grabbing a nap yesterday. I feel more refreshed and evenly balanced for having done so. Had a little problem getting to sleep last night, but managed to sleep away at some point. I've shifted my awake and sleep hours fairly dramatically. Getting up late in the mornings, grabbing a nap in the afternoons, and staying busy late into the night and early morning.

Sleep and dream, dream and sleep. Let the shadows fall and the rainbows cast their glow. I am nothing and therefore everything. I am emptiness and I am all.

6121

Techno-dreaming last night. Both dream segments involved some aspect of technologies. The first one was like a mini-mystery story. I was working for a small software firm and we had some proprietary communications technologies. In some fashion, I found out that some of our technology was getting handed over to competitors. This was happening from within our own facility by someone who was acting like a spy. I told several of the principals about the problem and we decided to set a trap.

There was a big industry event scheduled one evening. We made a point of announcing that we were closing the building that evening, encouraging staff to attend the event. An assistant and I remained in the building in an alcove that overlooked the front doors. If someone was going to enter the building, they'd have to come through the main doors using their employee card.

The assistant and I stood in the alcove. The industry event was just starting. We both noticed a person approaching the doors. It was a woman. She swiped her key card, entered a pass code, and entered the building. As she passed by the reception desk, we could see who it was. It was a temporary employee that we had been using to help with some coding issues. She was definitely capable of the doing the espionage--she had the requisite skills.

We let her enter the software development area and we moved to a security station where we could monitor what she was doing on her computer. We watched remotely as she bundled up parts of the code, accessed the internet, emailed the package to a remote address, and then went back and cleaned out any traces of her actions. That's how she had been helping pirate our code. This time, using the monitoring station, we had copies of all of her actions, links and communications. We signaled to waiting guards to move in and arrest her.

The second dream segment was at the industry event. I was seated at a main table across from my friend RM, who was seated next to Steve Jobs. We were all discussing various technologies and their impacts. The person next to me was a cinematographer and design specialist. I had never met her before, but had heard of her. One of her animated shorts was playing on the conference screens, filling the background with colors, shapes and soft sounds. It was a new piece that involved the use of special technologies to layer the images and sounds together to invoke effects on the viewer/observer. She was explaining how she had achieved some of the more spectacular results. Jobs was asking her if she would like to come to Pixar and show his people what she had accomplished.

The dream ended there on a note of anticipation and promise.
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Found a pair of sandals, somewhat like my old ones, at Nordstrom's. Sales people weren't that helpful, but I managed to locate the ones I bought.

Been nursing my middle back and ribs. Getting compression strains from sitting in my desk chair, reading chair, bed lounger, and otherwise. None of the seats in this place are fully comfortable. It's been adding to my back, side, rib issues for the past week. Went too the chiropractor this morning and came away fairly aligned. Am now kinked up from sitting while I wrote this post.

Had breakfast at a cafe this morning. I sat at one of the only tables that was in the sun. Discovered after I sat down that there was a newborn mother's group accumulating in my area. By the time I finished breakfast, I was practically surrounded by strollers, diaper bags, crying infants, and a bevy of young moms. Didn't whip out my Oates book and read after eating; just ate and left as quickly as I could.

Dance class tonight. I picked up the step descriptions for the Tuesday class's new dances. Helps to remember them. Can't just rely on memory; need to review afterwards from the step sheets.

Daughter should be returning from New York tonight. Scheduled to see her tomorrow. Haven't seen her in a while. Talked with her, but haven't seen her. She should be tanned-up from her lifeguard and swimming job. Paddle on!

6122

Last night's dreaming had me and the men's team taking over an abandoned building in a camping area. We had decided to camp out in a building that belonged to someone we knew. The building was in bad shape with sections of walls knocked down, windows with no glass, and a roof with large holes in the structure. When we arrived at the site, we spread out through the building finding places to camp out.

A few days after we arrived, a horde of other campers pulled into an upper campground parking area. Many of the campers were on motorcycles. They spilled out into the surrounding campsites and began to put together ball games and other sport's activities. One rather large, muscular guy came over to our area. He was faintly threatening as were the rest of his group of campers. He walked through our area, remarked on the state of the building, and pointed out a structural feature of the building--a large set of steel girders that formed an octagonal space in one part of the building. I found that I was the one talking to this guy. I was uncomfortable and was looking forward to him leaving our camping area.
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Blink author was interviewed last night on NPR. Nothing new came forward during the interview, but it was a good recap of the book's content and focus. Looks like Blink will do even better than his previous work, The Tipping Point, which has sold over 800,000 copies.

Walked downtown for lunch today. Nice day with cooling breezes along with lots of sunshine. Felt good during the walk, through lunch and returning home. When I got here, I lay down to read and fell asleep. Awoke when there was some outside noises.

Had some thoughts last night about going to the beach today. So much for thoughts. Some resistance to driving long distances--the price of gasoline is through the roof. Filled up last night and paid the most I've ever paid for a tank of gas. And I expect that I'll break that record before it's all over.

Started reading a set of short stories by Oates. She is the female Stephen King--at least in terms of macabre plots and characters. Her stuff is a little less fantastic, which makes it that much more eerie since it deals with common situations and settings. But, I love it and can't stop reading.

Picked up the latest SciFi periodicals. More to read, to be read. Can't stop reading. Reading my way to health and wholeness, or not. Reading anyway.

6123

Dreamsville last night. Several dream segments and subjects. One involved an old friend, CW. We were working together at a company. We were on the same project and I was starting to lose my grip on things. I was not operating well and was making mistakes. I was dropping the ball in several areas. CW confronted me at one point and asked me what was I doing. He pointed out that I was screwing up in multiple areas and he wanted to know why. I felt badly that I was letting him down, but I was not thinking properly and couldn't easily correct my actions. I tried to explain what was happening, but I couldn't make sense out of things.

In another segment, a group of us were dressed up in firemen's outfits. We were being hired to pretend that we were a group of firemen for a photo shoot. We had to take a metro or subway to the location. So, here we were, decked out in hats, boots, gloves and so on, walking through the turnstiles, boarding a train, and heading off into the bowels of the city. People would look at us, but see the official-looking outfits and go on about their business. In a few cases, we used our fake outfits to get access to areas that regular patrons couldn't reach. We were having a ball in our costumes and gear.

There was a segment that was like a sit-down picnic. It was being coordinated by CM (a person from LeapFrog). There was food, drinks and goodies--a lavish spread. CM was doing the hostess thing, but was also being very friendly and funny. There was one instance where she and I had an exchange--about what I can't recall.

In another part of the festival dream, there was a discussion of how to get to a particular place. As I talked, I could see a scrolling map with highway signs and street names. It was being projected on a wall area. The map reminded me of a section of freeways in and around Memphis. CM was using the map to explain how to get someplace that was here in the Bay Area. This didn't make any sense if the map was of part of Memphis. But the discussion went on and on, until I awoke.
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Had a substitute instructor at last night's Qigong session. Was good to get the same data from another person, another perspective. He helped make sense out of what could be confusing material.

Dance class tonight. Will be good to move about some--been sitting a lot so far today, surfing the web. For what? Nothing of importance, or so it seems after two hours have disappeared.

Feeling still. Feeling quiet and peaceful. Have moments of feeling like I need to jump up and go somewhere, but overall feel like just meandering along, ebbing with the tide, flowing with the flow.

Saw Jon's daughter at breakfast this morning. I asked her about Jon and got a summary of his game development status. Discovered a reduced fee arrangement between the rec center and people with low incomes. Could cut back the cost of rec classes by 75%. What a deal!

Spent a bit of time learning how this system can be used to create and edit images. It's not Photoshop, but it might do.

Hope Delta airlines stays intact long enough for me to collect on my FF miles. Sounds like they are on the brink--cashing in FF miles doesn't help their cashflow problems. Life in the jet stream.

6124

Had two major dream segments last night. One dealt with being on a team of people who were recreating old software games. We had checklists that we were working with that detailed the logic behind each game. We would review the checklists, follow the logic through its many paths, and end up certifying that the checklist matched the original game. With that in hand, programmers could be turned loose to implement the game. It was a highly structured set of operations and details had to be followed precisely. There was a lot of crosschecking involved. For some reason, I was really good at finding flaws in the logic flows. So I was used as a checker of other's lists and protocols.

At some point, we were taken to a stadium where a football game was scheduled to take place. When we entered the place, someone flipped on a large monitor. A couple of guys who were already there gave us the evil eye and turned off the monitor. I immediately flipped it back on, grabbed the remote control, and told the guy who had turned it off that I now controlled the unit and it was going to be on.

We found our seats and I started fiddling with the remote. Turned out that I had troubles using the remote and kept bringing up the wrong images on the screen. For what seemed like forever, I monkeyed around with the remote, but couldn't bring up the game image. The two guys who had flipped the monitor off were smirking at my clumsy actions. I was getting really frustrated and I awoke.
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Caught part of an NPR story about the history of coffee. I contained some interesting health-related data regarding coffee's medicinal values and traits. There was also an interview with a writer, a woman, who had moved back to South America (Columbia??) and started a coffee farm. They involved the whole village. They named the farm after a regional spirit and they enrolled the villagers into not only planting coffee trees, but learning to read and write. There was something very moving about her commitment and dedication to the earth and the people. I think their farm name was Alta Gracia (something like high grace).

Heard another interview this morning with Studs Terkel, who was in his nineties when interviewed. They mentioned his most recent book, Hope is the Last to Die. I picked it up based on the interview. It sounds fascinating. He is a character. Ninety plus and still writing even though he said he would quit a long time ago.

Finished the Munro book of stories, Runaway. She is clearly the master of that genre. Stories that are so rich, so complete, so satisfying, and yet seemingly effortless and flowing.

August is half over today. Two weeks have spun past and left small notice of the passing days. Feeling like I want to head for the beach sometime this week--perhaps Wednesday (if it's Wednesday, it must be beach time).

Been reading through the Power Healing book (reminds me to check on an upcoming course through the recreation center). I've been doing one of the suggested exercises and it seems to be working. Asking for help in healing my body, mind and spirit on all levels. Asking for some assistance in raising up my energy levels, clarity of mind, and so on. I believe I am seeing results. Have a Qigong class tonight, which I have also been practicing as well. The two activities complement each other, work together.

Experienced some clearing at the chiropractor this morning. Clearing was in the neck area.

One month until I leave for Memphis. The change will be good. I need to move about and see if I can triangulate on a plan for myself. Rainbows are coming, let the raindrops fall.

6125

I believe I dreamed something about being in a kitchen last night. But, with the light of day (and an alarm clock) I seemed to have lost the dream thread. Dreams live on in the great dream pool that surrounds us all. If it is an important dream, it will return and make itself known.

Lazy day today. Nearly 3pm and I'm just getting around to posting this note about last night's dreams (disappeared) and life as it unfolds.

Met with L and her friends H & S for a breakfast pastry and some OJ. We then walked the early morning streets. There's a gathering corner near the downtown Starbucks that I find difficult to navigate. I see myself going out of the way to avoid the onslaught of beggars, smokers, dopers, and probably worse. They are all gathered there, obstructing the sidewalk, blowing carcinogens into the airspace, leaving debris and other crap, and generally doing an in your face performance.

I caught myself beaming lots of negative energies this morning as we came abreast of a pod of smokers and a table of jerks. I felt a flash of negative thought get thrown out of me and at this one guy who was making some inane remark. It was a flash and then it was gone, and I was surprised that it had surfaced. Blink material, here. First impressions--surprised at what I was thinking.

Overall, I'm feeling better. Better than what? Better than what I've been feeling like. Energy levels are picking up steam. My concentration is better. Awoke this morning feeling invigorated. My experiments with Power Healing are bringing results. Looking forward to a class on that material.

Rents around here have gone through the ceiling. After dragging behind for so long, they now appear to be making up for lost times. I need to find a reasonable place for the next six months to one year. Starting the process of looking around. Of course, I can stay where I am, but I'm feeling that a slightly bigger space will be of benefit while I continue to improve healthwise.

Meanwhile, back at the library--finish up the Munro stories (last one I read was awesome--her collection Runaway is filled with solid tales--full of surprise and turns), Power Healing, and dip into the new Qigong book. Plenty to read and more to come. Reading my life away...

6126

Had three detailed dream segments last night. One had me in a dangerous part of a town trying to catch a subway. I was with my family--wife and three kids. We had come there in the daytime, but now it was late at night and I wasn't really clear on where to catch the subway, which one too catch, and in which direction. I was reluctant to ask for directions since the people on the street seemed more likely to try and rob us over helping us out. There was a part of the dream where we were down on a platform waiting for a train. Somehow the kids and wife got separated from me. They had gotten on a train, but I had held back thinking it wasn't the right one. The door closed and left me standing on the platform. I signaled to the wife and kids to get off at the next station and wait for me there (not sure how I did that, but that's what it felt like I managed to do).

In a second segment, I was still in the subway tunnels. I had made my way to a hub terminal where there were trains going in all directions. There were some kids hanging around the terminal. They were making designs or patterns on the floor using coins and odd objects (marbles, rings, jewelry, etc.). The designs were quite intricate. Every now and then someone would see a coin or object, stop to pick it up, and then notice the larger pattern or design. In all cases, they would put the object back in place and nod to the kid making the design. Sometimes, they would give the kid more coins or objects to add to the pattern. I remember thinking that the designs were clues to some mystery that people were trying to solve.

The final segment also took place on a subway platform. There were crowds of people and groups of them were doing dance-like things to pass the time. The group I was near was doing pushups and other exercise-style movements. I joined in and discovered that if I hooked my feet under a pipe of bench support that I could float my body off the floor. It felt like I was levitating. My feet were anchored and with little effort I could extend my body and lift it off the ground--and stay in that position. It was easy to do and very energizing.
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Been a full, long day. Went to the old movie house tonight. We saw Beat the Devil and African Queen (Bogart movies, directed by Huston, with various cast members--Lolabrigida, Bikel, Morely, Lorrie, Hepburn, etc.). Delightful movies.

Time to post this post and sign off for the night. Incoming--dreams.

6127

Dreamless in the night. Or the dreams disappeared when I awoke. Can't recall any details or dream fragments. Previous night's dreams may have been enough. They were very surreal.

Dance class went well last night. Learned a new dance that had fairly intricate steps and rhythms. Will see if I can remember how it goes tonight. Skipped yoga today. Felt like sleeping in and my knee, hip, back is still acting up. Didn't want to go to yoga class and torque everything further. Did Qigong session instead when I finally awoke.

Went out and grabbed some lunch (it was too late for breakfast) and a piece of carrot cake. Feel sated for now, but will probably need to eat again before dancing starts. Like I said yesterday, I feel like I have to eat regularly--can't skip a meal or it shows up in my stamina. I get unfocused and sleepy.

Responded to the Dragon's notes about various projects. The Mars project looks interesting. Have to ponder the history of games idea--not sure I want to do anything like that--but leaving it open for now.

Almost halfway through August. In recent days, time has begun to speed up relative to the early days of the week. Finishing up the Cuban stories (they're OK, but not as good as Munro's tales). They're a bit too random for my tastes, with some being very "modern" (no punctuation, huge run-on narrative sections, written with a thesaurus, etc.).

Of more interest has been the Power Healing book by Dr. Sha. Some intriguing ideas therein. Will see how they manifest in terms of healing and health. First practices are really simple and easy to perform. Will experiment and see what happens. Can't lose.

I'm still not fully energized or fully active. Such regular tasks such as shaving, bathing, and so on seem to take much more time than I think I used to require. But, I have nothing pressing me forward, shaking me out of bed, etc. So I can take as long as it takes. Which seems like a long time.

My bio-clock seems to have shifted so that I arise later than I once did, but stay up later as well. In fact, it's not until evening that I feel fully awake and in motion. It's like my clock has flip-flopped.

Looking into getting a diagnosis from and ayurvedic or homeopathic physician. Like getting a second opinion on the medical doctor's random assessments. I need to restore my energy levels in a balanced way--right now they are not operating smoothly and evenly.

Things are looking better given all of the interventions I'm doing and with me not working--but there has to be a higher level of functioning than where I am now. Where I am does not leave me enough energy space for doing what's next--writing, research, work, etc.

Following the Power Healing format, I need to invoke the soul that's in charge of energy, ask for its help in restoring my energy levels, and thanking this soul (and all of its attendant beings) for such healing help. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

6128

Curious dreams last night. One dream involved me and a woman. We were living together. When we had moved in with each other, I had dumped a lot of things I owned and no longer wanted with a junk dealer. She had taken everything I'd delivered, sorted through what was there, and put some of it up for sale. It was now years later and the place we lived in was stark and had minimal furniture, minimal everything. The woman I was living with said that I needed to retrieve some of the stuff I had dumped. I wasn't that enthusiastic about reclaiming my old items. However, we ended up at the junk store where we sorted through piles of objects and pulled out my old things. In the end, we paid the woman for a collection of my previous possessions.

A second dream involved working with a person who was in one of my old companies. I was working with him to create a document that was outlining some form of technical process. There was a scene in the dream where we were looking at a draft of report. It had been written on a type of "smart paper" that worked something like a computer screen. We were making edits and corrections, which were instantly recorded on the "smart paper" views.

I had a third dream when I took a nap today. It involved two kids, like M's twins, and a woman. We were in a house near a forest. There were gates on the doors so the kids couldn't wander out into the yard. At some point, a deer came walking down the street. It was having difficulty walking and was stumbling and moving in spasms and jerks. Soon there was another deer moving up the road. This one had been mutilated. It had no head and was missing a foreleg. A third one moved forward. It too had been mutilated. I remember thinking of who down the road might be doing something like this. As the deer began appearing, I had stepped outside, but had forgotten to shut the door gates. It was possible for the kids to come outside and see the deer. When I realized what I'd done, I hurried back to assure that the doors were gated and to let the woman know that the kids should be kept indoors. The dream was shocking and graphic.
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Made the journey to Livermore last night. M's and C's twins have really grown. They are a trip together. Busy decoding the mysterious world and the strange people who had invaded their space. They are walking and mobile. Everything in the house was locked and gated--hence the dream details in my napping dream.

Went to the chiropractor this morning. Am still having problems with knee, hip, leg on the right side. The chiropractor did an adjustment on my foot that seemed to unlock a tension in that leg. Dance class tonight. Felt good on Tuesday. Will see if that carries over to tonight's activities.

Finished the Blink book last night--which kept me up late and prompted my nap this afternoon. Still reading Power Healing and a set of Cuban stories. My library table is full. Have some more Munro stories and have not yet opened the new Qigong tome.

Seems to be a correlation between my food intake and my mind states. I can't skip a meal without feeling out of whack. I have to eat every 3 or so hours, even if it's just a yogurt and banana. I feel like I have to graze to keep things balanced. The type of food doesn't seem to make that much difference--just need food on a regular basis. Although, I do seem to be craving high protein foods over heavy carbohydrates.

Dance tonight and then yoga tomorrow, and then the weekend begins. Weekends no longer mean that much to me--just another set of consecutive days punctuated by club dances, trips to the beach, meals, movies, laundry, and so on. The days glaze, merge, and overlap. Leaving a constant flow of dreams.

6129

Mixed up dream last night. I was in either a bar or a coffee house. There were lots of people there and most had laptops of one sort or another. There were some real geeks in the place. They were busy showing each other the latest tool or gadget for playing games. I was peeking over their shoulders trying to understand what they were showing to each other. There were lots of kids in the place. There were arcade machines along one wall and tables where game machines were being used.

There was much more to the dream, but I lost the content string as I awoke.
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Coincidence. The Dragon sent me a note about writing a book on the history of games. Perhaps his message crossed over into my dream space. Message sent on many levels.

Dance class last night went well. My kinks in my knee, leg, hip and back seemed to resolve as I danced. My knee held up well given how fragile it felt yesterday morning.

Still blasting through the Blink book. Also reading a book on Power Healing (by Sha) that is related to Qigong. Also, at last, got the 2nd library book on Qigong--the one that was over one month late being returned. I should probably exorcise the book.

Off to Livermore tonight for a mini-men's team meeting. Will see the twins after nearly a year since the last siting. RR and RS and I will be going if RR doesn't get delayed by his doctor's appointment. He's getting his liver checked for some serious complications related to his overall health problems. Liver is wood in the Qigong system. Knock on wood, RR.

Just came back from lunch. Ate late today and could feel the drag on my system. Have to eat something regularly or my system starts dragging. Also, I've shifted my clock around so that I'm more awake late into the night. Sleeping in, like I did this morning, has become common.

Still feeling very positive about my Qigong (and perhaps Power Healing) activities. I believe that there are answers there for what I'm experiencing.

Still working with the six words: creative, compassion, courage, prolific, health and energy. Time to start acting on these words--not just have them posted.

Will soon be time for the trip to Memphis. Have some things to prepare for that journey. Time is still moving s-l-o-w-l-y. Has been since last Sunday. Still in an alternate universe.

6130

Detailed dreams last night, detailed and very active. Dreams came in two parts. One part had a large group of LeapFrog people queued up in a small foyer. We were waiting to make presentations of our projects. The group was sitting on the floor and tables. Everyone was talking animatedly and there was a lot of exchange being made about product concepts and ideas. Several times, I found myself offering advice on how to make something work better or in a different way.

We had all been called together quite preemptively. There was a lot of speculation as to why the executives had called this series of meetings. But, most everyone was relaxed and not stressed over the situation. The atmosphere was upbeat and lively.

In a second part of the dream, I was shown a new animation tape. It had been put together by this really young guy and involved some new, proprietary technologies. These new technologies were going to revolutionize how animations are done. Sort of like pod casting for moving images. The guy who was showing me the demo tape was really excited. He was filled with superlatives regarding what was going to happen once the technology was distributed.

Awoke from the dreams feeling invigorated and charged.
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Went to sleep last night contemplating six words: creative, prolific, compassion, healthy, courageous, and energetic. Had some trouble remembering the six words this morning, but finally brought them back to consciousness. Doing a little Mind Blink experiment. More on this at another time.

The Blink book is really absorbing. His case studies/examples are compelling. All about thinking and choosing, and how we think we think, but don't really.

Also picked up a book on Power Healing. The Qigong class will morph into a Power Healing class next term. I have to decide, soon, which path I'm going to follow--could do both with some strain.

Qigong class last night left me powered up when I got home. The class went well despite some of my links. My knee, hip, back, foot are still giving me some discomfort. But, I think I'll try dance class to night and see how I fare. May rest beforehand, if I have time.

Shuttle returns safely. Happy to hear that was the way things went this time around. Last night, I spent way too much time investigating the differences between crickets, katydids and cicadas. I've been hearing bug symphonies every night of late and was curious as to what was broadcasting a chorus of staccato notes. I think I concluded (by listening to audio samples) that the yard is infested with katydids. Songs are not melodic enough for crickets and not raucous enough for cicadas. Couldn't find an exact song match, but several hours of playing and listening seemed to point towards katydids.

Another collection of IBU (Interesting But Useless) data for my brain cells. My minifridge makes a cross between a cricket and a cicada noise. (Really IBU data--or RIBU for short).

August month is zooming by. Almost 1/3 gone already. Yet, over the past two days, time has seemed to s-l-o-w down to a snail's pace. Perhaps, I'm blending over into a alternate universe. Yeah, me and the rest of the tinfoil crowd. Who cares as long as I win the MegaMillions jackpot. I could s-l-o-w down for that event.

6131

Seems like a week in time since yesterday. My sense of time seems to be expanding. For no particular reason--it just seems to be stretching out. Quantum silliness, perhaps.

In last night's active dream, I found myself on a road that extended deep into a tree-covered stretch of land. I was moving along the road, headed for an encampment. I knew some of the people who would be there, but it was going to be a large gathering with many new people.

In one part of the dream, I had decided to go for a run from the camp back towards a small town area where the camp road met the highway. I started running and soon found myself speeding along the road. Occasionally, vehicles would pass me by in both directions. I just kept to the side of the road and chugged along. Running felt really good. Both energizing and releasing with the same movements.

As I came into the little town area, there was a black man standing by the side of the road. He held a map open in his hands and seemed to be trying to puzzle out directions to some place. I talked with him for a bit and found out he was heading to the camping area. I pointed him down the road and told him I had jogged from there and was heading back. He said he'd hitch a ride and set himself up to hitchhike to camp. I took off running back towards camp.

As I neared the camp, I could hear singing. Off the side of the road, in a clearing, there were dozens of people gathered together. They were the ones singing the songs. I jogged on past. I noticed off the side of the road, in a thicket of weeds, a canteen that had been dropped. I noted where it was and kept on running.

Later, I was riding in a car with three black men. We were headed back to the town area. The driver was the man who had been hitchhiking. He had connected with two of his friends. The four of us were heading toward the town area. There was something odd about the men. I thought all three of them were in the front seat at one point, with the hitchhiker scrunched down out of sight. Then, one man moved (like smoke) to the back seat and the hitchhiker was driving. He seemed to want to avoid being seen as we entered the town area.

There was something vaguely uncertain as to why we had come to town. There was an undercurrent of us about to do something illegal or risky. I definitely felt out of place riding in the vehicle with the three black men. As that unease settled around me, I awoke from the dream.
***********************************
After my chiropractor's appointment, I went to grab some breakfast. Went to Denny's for their Senior Scramble. When I was seated, I was put near a table with a family of seven or more people. The family members, for the most part, were huge. There was a large Big Daddy, a very big son, a fairly hefty mother, an aunt (I'm assuming) who took up two chair spaces, a daughter who was heavier than the mother, and two people that didn't easily mesh with the weight demographics. These last two were a young Japanese boy (foster child or exchange student??) and young girl with Down's Syndrome. Only these last two looked like they really needed to eat. The rest could survive for days without touching anything.

They seemed to be on vacation. They were talking about forming a caravan to Monterey and then to Carmel. Bon voyage, and godspeed dear people. I could picture Alice Munro writing up a story of that group based on their tableau around their table this morning. The Draegers Dine at Denny's.

Started reading the Blink book that L gave me. Really interesting work. About how we think and make choices in the blink of an eye that are as good as choices made after lengthy deliberations. Still just barely into it, but it makes for good reading. Wonder what led the author to scope out a book on this topic? Maybe the answer will appear within the book.

The answer, my friend, is written on the wind... Don't blink!

6132

Vague dream fragments from last night. Something about being in a stadium, but no details. Seems that the dreams were dark--like very little light, everything in shadows.

L took me out for a birthday brunch today. Very nice. Went to a place from the past. Good food.

She gave me a copy of the book, Blink. Also a card and a card from her friend Kierste. Plus she paid for a new pair of sandals. My favorite pair are coming apart. I just have to find replacements which is turning out to not be easy.

I talked to my youngest sister today. Today is her birthday (mine was yesterday by the calendar). Was good to hear her voice. She's having to close up her business--lost the lease. Will be a hectic time for her in the coming months.

Also talked with my daughter. She was heading off to Las Vegas for two days--a work bonus thing for meeting some quotas last month. Then later in the week she's off to New York for a vacation. Glad to see her traveling about.

I'm kind of creaky this weekend. I seemed to have tweaked my knees and a toe on my right foot is giving me problems. And, I've got a sore right hip. May all be related--they are all on the right side/leg. Been taking is slow and not pushing myself, but it's still aggravating.

I've been feeling sort of spacey on and off today. Moments of clarity and others of turmoil. No clear patterns. Felt a little anxious this morning until I got some food in my body. Given the huge meal I ate last night, I shouldn't have been reacting that way, but I was. Food does seem to calm things down--as does Qigong, yoga, and so on.

I'm still much lighter than I was a year ago. The lipoma on the back of my neck has shrunk some as I've been dropping weight. It's hardly noticeable in profile anymore.

I've gone today without a nap, and haven't missed it. So many little variables and indicators. What to watch and what can be ignored. Probably most everything.

Anyway, I'm rambling on tonight. It's been a good day, the first one of my 67th year. Read more Munro stories last night. She has a three-story series in the book that works with a character near the front, the middle and the end of her life. Again, so well done. A magical writer. I stand in awe of what she's written. She may well be the greatest writer of this period.

So onward to reading I go. Reading and dreaming.

6133

8/6/39 to 8/6/05--66 years. My dreams last night seemed more like waking thoughts. I don't recall anything specific except tossing and turning. I kept giving myself instructions of which way to toss and turn. My body is a basketcase today--sore knees, toe pains, hip aches, and back tensions. Welcome to my 67th year.

I read until quite late. Read an Alice Munro story in Runaway called Chance. Not as great a story as Runaway, but still compelling, eerie and uniquely unpredictable. Just like life.

I saw a guy on a bicycle several days ago. He was a person I met several years ago when he was working downtown--he maintained an office where he wrote during the day. I couldn't think of his name. I was driving myself crazy trying to remember. Then, on NPR radio, there was a new story about someone named Al Young being named California Poet Laureate. That's the person.

I looked the story up on the web and sure enough there was his photograph. He's been quite prolific in a quiet way. He's written novels, books of poetry, essays, screenplays, and more. He's published steadily over the years and has garnered many awards and honors.

Interesting background--he was born in Mississippi. Now he's the poet laureate of the California. There's photo on his web site of him and Oates. She looks like someone stole her soul.

Anyway, I've been here 66 years to day--completed that many cycles. So it's onward into the 67th cycle. So far, I've celebrated by doing my laundry. L and I will celebrate with brunch tomorrow. Tonight, I may go to QS. Will see how my knees, toes, hips, back are feeling when that time arises.

I want to make a cycle 67 declaration regarding writing, but I hesitate. I have been at such a juncture as this before and my declarations have been but empty air. I am uncertain now what it is I can declare myself to do, to accomplish. The obviousness of what I have to do to achieve even a portion of my dreams is undeniable. I wrestle with my ability to follow through on what is required should I give my word, declare my intention.

I have in fact already put forth my intention as is noted in early posts. Because of the day, the symbology of the day, I'm feeling called upon to renew my declarations. It is a gesture, perhaps, but one that I feel compelled to make. So be it! I so declare. It's done!

For some insane reason, the gardener is here today (instead of Thursday) with his mowers and blowers. The throb of those devices have descended and broken the tranquility, the relative peace.
***********************************
Gardener noises have subsided. Still distant buzz and hum from somewhere nearby, but nothing right outside my window.

The stillness fills me with a faint drowsy feeling. I'm still not fully awake/aware. I drift in and out of focus--of me experiencing being focused and directed. Unfortunately, I can continue in this way for quite some time. It's been a year since I left LeapFrog and settled into this new place/space/ without a trace. I went into a fog-filled pit and have yet to emerge. I get moments of clearness, but nothing that lasts. Each day folds into the next, collapsing time, and leaving me adrift.

Have to decide if I'm going to dance tonight. It's going to be an "oldie's" venue, but that's what I'm becoming--day by lengthy day. Dance and dream, dream and dance. Dance my way into the latest cycle. My next 18-year breakpoint is six years away--2011 (if my math is right). Almost the final Mayan year in the current calendar cycle. 2012 is the pivotal year--coming soon.

So once again--happy beginning of the 67th cycle and ending of the 66th. Wishing myself good fortune.

6134

More active yoga class today. More strength-related, weight-bearing poses. Nice change--feels good. Came away energized and not thinking about a nap (so far--it's still early).

Dreamed last night of being in a sporting contest of sorts. The arena was like a large indoor stadium. There was a tall wall bisecting the playing field. Players were scattered along the base of the wall. There were balls being used. The players were striking the balls with racquets. One of the objects of the game was to hit the ball so that it just reached the top of the wall, landed there and stayed in place.

I don't know if there were other players on the other side of the wall. I couldn't see any because of the height of the wall. There were not that many spectators; lots of empty seats. For a while, I watched the action closely, but after a time it became too randomized and lacking in tension.

Awoke feeling like I just wanted to flip over and go back to sleep. I'd read into the early morning hours last night. Started reading Munro's Runaway stories. The lead story, call Runaway, is perhaps the best story, best writing I have ever read. The story plot is so finely woven that it held my attention from first word to last. The twists and turns seem so effortless and natural, yet they build and build toward a final ending that a part of me didn't want to hear. She seems to be able to spin the mood of the story on a single phrase, sending it off into unexpected places. She is the master (mistress?) or perhaps the queen of writers at this time.

Dance class last night--one new dance and reviews of several others. They seem to be sticking in my memory. New one is fun and not too complex. Will see tonight when we hit the floor at B&B.

I washed my truck--it looks so much better. Don't have a way to scrub it like I once did. Using the self-wash places with the spray nozzles. Gives a quick clean, but not a deep clean.

Still practicing mindfulness when I can, when I remember to do so. Yoga teacher will also be the mindfulness teacher next week. Coincidence.

Paid $2.75 for a gallon of gasoline today. Most I've ever paid. I'll most likely exceed that figure in the future. Everything continues to go up; it never goes back down--until something catastrophic takes place.

I dither, I dather, I make silly blather. Time to move onward and right the old beam.

6135

Dreams last night were crowded with people--mostly kids. One dream involved a large meeting room. People, mainly kids, were filing into the room for an assembly. There was a balcony or mezzanine area above the large, rectangular meeting floor. There were no chairs. Whoever came into the room was going to have to stand during the presentation or sit on the floor.

I was on the mezzanine level with a principal or superintendent. We were discussing how it was going to work to have so many kids in the room with no chairs. He didn't seem to be too concerned. I was the one doing all of the worrying.

The dream scene shifted to an outdoor area. There was a large oval-shaped depression that was filled with snow. I was helping rig some kind of ride that would pull people over the snow on tiny sleds. The sleds were attached to a large pulling device by cables. The device was designed to pull the sleds safely across the snow without collisions. It was a monstrous device with many cables, many sleds and huge winding drums that controlled the cables.

I was near the top of the run and noticed that some kids had managed to free their sleds from the cables. That meant they could free run down the hill and could, potentially, hit other sleds. I yelled at a couple of kids who were pushing off to make a run. They didn't hear me and dropped out of sight as they moved downhill. I was wondering what else I could do to help prevent injuries when I awoke and noted that I was dreaming.

**********************************
Went to the chiropractor this morning. Have some kinks in my back from yesterday's mindfulness session. The mindfulness practice came back as I drove to the appointment. How it can replace the mindless thought streams that can occur while driving.

I recall the practice coming into focus yesterday as I walked downtown in the evening. The sounds, the traffic, other pedestrians. How my passing, or thoughts about my passing, didn't alter what was being sounded, what others were doing. I felt like a bubble. I was a bubble floating on the sea of life.

L called while I was at dinner and joined me. We walked after eating and ended up like two bubbles floating past the many other bubbles. Thoughts came and thoughts went. The bubbles bounced along.

Dance class tonight. Mindfulness and dancing--my assignment for the week. We were asked to pick an activity and use it for mindfulness practice. Since I can't wash the dishes (don't have any), I thought I'd try it with dancing. Useful place to be focused and not have mind chatter. We'll see.

Dragon sent a note about doing Mars Exploration projects. Told him that I was available. Perhaps that's why I had dreams dealing with kids. Perhaps they have no relationship whatsoever. But, dreamtime leaks are fun to ponder.

Quiet now as evening comes into being. Some of the energies of the day are quietening and becoming background to the night flows. I am feeling a little jittery, but settling down as well. Just had some dinner and that has helped slow things a bit.

Tomorrow yoga with a new teacher and dancing at night. Mindfulness.

6136

Last night's dreams faded away as I awoke. They had something to do with JON and a project that involved decorating a whole building or town for some event. There was one scene where JON jumped into a stretch limo and zoomed away from a gathering. I think we were being hired to do the decorations, with JON being the artistic designer. There was some kind of mixup or disagreement that sent JON zooming off. I was left to try and patch up things.

Read the pages last night that GH had given me yesterday. They were taken from a David Hawkins book (not in the library) called the Eye of the I. The pages were about the mind and to go about letting go of it, thoughts, and everything that keeps the self locked into a position or point of view--and therefore in illusion, pain, disease, etc.

It's a dense read and I'll have to read it again and again. But GH was correct. The material is right on with what I'm dealing with in terms of my own mind (mindlessness, mindfulness, no mind, false mind, and so on). The material speaks to me and is coherent with what I've been experiencing during the past year.

The shock of seeing that I still had thoughts about which I had no knowledge of, shocked my system, my circuits, so intensely that I went off kilter--crashed. My disbelief was so intense that it altered my ways of being--for the worse because I believed the worse. I took the thoughts as not only real and true, but as being me. I became my thoughts and all hell broke loose.

So today, I went to a mindfulness session. Not to strengthen my mind, but to help me with my observations of mind and what is seems to be about. Thoughts won't stop, but I don't have to treat them as truth.

6137

Mind over matter. More like, Mind doesn't matter. Or Mind creates matter, including the GGGGGGG (great, gooey, green gobs of granulated gorilla grunt). Worked with GH today and got some insights into the stew that I've been cooking. Oh well, I can start from where I am--stewless and clueless. Start, restart, break my heart, not that smart.

Dreams. Always the dreaming even when I'm wide awake. Last night's dreamscapes were quite vivid. In the first part, I was riding in a convertible as the passenger. The driver was an Umberto Eco look alike. There was someone in the back seat. The faux Umberto was driving vigorously to a place in the hills. It was a community of people who had retreated to the hills and lived in luxurious houses along the ridge road. Until recently, their road was only a mud trail and was difficult to navigate in other than 4-wheel vehicles.

With the new paved road, the places were more accessible. Umberto started up the winding way. I stood up in the passenger's seat and took in the passing scenery. There was some danger that Umberto would make a sharp turn and throw me from the car, but that did not happen.

When we got to the ridge road, there was like a wall of gates that separated the houses from the road. Many of the gates had signs and banners advertising some type of order-by-mail products. Many of the places had a pyramid of goods standing in the driveway entrance to show what products were sold from this location. The wall of gates went on for miles. There were few pedestrians--most of the places looked in disrepair and were run down.

A second dream sequence took place in a software development house. We were integrating some popular cartoons into some interactive learning products. There were spinning logos and animated action on most of the screens in the place. We had just finished putting a wildly spinning logo into one segment of the code. We were viewing its actions and tweaking how it behaved.

It seemed as if the dreams took place a long time before I actually awakened. I had the dreams, noted their content, and perhaps went back to sleep for a while. When I fully awoke, I recalled the dream outlines. As I wrote about the dreams, I fleshed out the details as I could remember them. This last step just took place nearly eight hours from the time I awoke. The amazing mind, as if it mattered (that's what the mind has to say).

GH gave me some pages from Hawkins' "The Eye of the I." They relate directly to what we discussed in today's session and some of the experiences I've been having. At last, some clearing of the glop, a shuffling of the clutter. If there is no "I" then who does the Eye belong to?

Puzzlements. Puzzlements within puzzlements. The pulse of living.

I totally got today why I'm being pulled to yoga, dance, Qigong, and other restorative practices. It's instinctive, but also part of the rebuilding process. What I've torn down, I rebuild, but with new materials, new wood. Raise high the roofbeam, carpenter. Oh, yeah!

If all this doesn't make sense, it's because it doesn't make sense, even if I think it does. Thinking--the bane of humanity. Too much thinking and not enough dancing. Dance class tonight. Can turn off the thoughts for a couple of hours--or at least channel them into now, now, now--tracking the movements. Dance the night away.

6138

Dreamed last night of being near a river. I was there with RB and RM and my oldest son, who was still young in the dream. There was a campground on a high bluff above the river. It was a good hike to get down to the stream, and a really sturdy hike back. The two men and the boy were down by the water. The men were fly fishing and the boy was casting lures with a spinning rod. I was up on the bluff, looking down on them.

I recall how peaceful it was since we were the only people in the campgrounds. Then that tranquility was broken. People started arriving, seemingly from everywhere. There were adults and hordes of kids. I made my way down to the stream to let the others know that we had visitors. My son had dropped his fishing rod somewhere along the river and didn't know where it was. We backtracked where he had been trying to locate the gear.

I felt like the influx of people was really unfortunate. The place had been so quiet and peaceful with just the four of us there. The hordes coming in changed the tenor of the place.

I awoke early--really early. It must have been 5AM or so. I went back to sleep for a while and got up at 8AM. Made it to the chiropractor on time for a change. He picked up the blockage in the middle Dan-Tien and worked with me on making a connection across that span.

RB sent out his trip photos via email. He chronicled the entire trip starting with the sushi dinner. Looks like they had a great expedition. He was there for the last day of the Tour de Lance.

The month of August begins. Sun and shadows. Inland heat and coastal cooling. Fishing in the stream of life.
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P took me out for a birthday luncheon. Delicious. Had almond-crusted sea bass on mashed potatoes with steamed vegetables. Really tasty dish. Key lime pie for dessert. Nice treat and good visit with P. It's been a while since we saw each other. For someone approaching 80, she's doing well. She's off to Canada next week and then to the UK in September.

Had a Qigong class this evening and am feeling great. Movement and breath--the secrets of life--or so it seems. One step at a time, inching forward every time.

The Dragon sent me the weather profile for his area in Oregon. Looks like they get a lot of clouds, but not that much snow. Fair amount of rain, but not as much as I thought for the area.

Had an odd telephone no message recording today. Whoever called hung up without leaving a message, but the hang up made a sound like a gun would make when it is cocked. Probably just an artifact of the system making the call, but I played it twice just to hear the effect. Maybe something that could be used in a story--stalker calls and leaves messages with sound effects of what he/she plans to do... Not a bad idea! Put it on the idea pile.

See GH tomorrow and have a dance class in the evening. Also need to do laundry tomorrow (Wednesday latest) or I'll exceed my one washer/one dryer paradigm.

Nice evening. Noisy cicadas in the garden. Almost time to head for the bed and read some of the stories in the Antioch Review short story edition that P left with me. My reading stack overfloweth, but that's not a bad thing--not bad at all.