5806

Good day today. Stayed on new fruit and dairy program with only small portions several times a day. Generally, felt good. Not as symptom-free as yesterday and not as energetic, perhaps, but still a good day. Picked up some mango and a couple of other goat's milk cheeses--one from Holland and a Brie. Holland cheese is really good. The Brie is so-so.

Slept quite a bit last night and today. Sleep feels different--like I'm really tired and need to sleep--not just restless and feeling slightly anxious. I sleep and wake up rested--like I've restored my energy and not just patched it up.

I ate a banana with cottage cheese, apple with chevre cheese, mango with yogurt, some pieces of Brie and Holland cheese, papaya with cottage cheese and some tapioca pudding. Also drank some juices (prune and pineapple) with kefir this morning. Assimilation seems to be going well and I'm certainly not getting blocked up. Nice to not have to deal with that issue.

The PD symptoms returned some today--not heavy, but also not as non-existent as yesterday. I was more symptom-free when I was emptier. The symptoms returned partially with assimilating more food. They also moderate as I rest more/better.

I'm cautiously optimistic that I've crossed a threshold and am operating at a new healing level. Today was not as great as yesterday, but it was also not a bad day by previous standards. One trick is going to be exactly how I fill out the diet so I get enough nourishment and of the correct types. Fruit and dairy only would appear to have some deficiencies, but maybe not. Right now, it's giving my system an overdue rest! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Staying quiet tonight. Last night, I was feeling energetic enough to start looking into the future and thinking about what I might be doing. Felt good to start putting my thoughts in those directions.

5807

Here's a piece of an email I sent out today regarding my "stomach status"--
**************************************
It's been an interesting 24 hours!

The good news is that now that I cleaned out/cleared out and switched to fruit and dairy, things have made a real positive turn... Yesterday, I experienced my body being completely empty (as the Smooth Move tea did its thing)--empty and at rest. The PD symptoms disappeared last night and have so far today. Remember, the people I'm working with consider this illness to be Rebellious Qi in the Stomach Channel. Makes sense that when I emptied (quieted) the channel the symptoms disappeared.

Today, I've stuck with only fruit and dairy products (goat's milk yogurt, goat's milk cheese and cottage cheese and kefir). I've been eating small amounts every hour so--really small portions. I feel great! I feel virtually symptom free. Eating so often on such a restricted diet is weird, but it seems to be working. And I'm certainly not getting constipated--everything seems to be on an in and out accelerated schedule. I've eaten apples, bananas, papaya, and pear. I've been drinking some juices mixed with kefir. I had one small serving of tapioca pudding (it's the only thing that has processed sugar and egg whites in it). The goat's milk yogurt also contains some tapioca as a thickener.

Energy levels seem extraordinarily elevated over previous months. I did my laundry, paid my bills, visited the storage locker, slept a little, and did my morning exercises and walk. I'll take it despite the strange path of getting here. Good to see a light at the end of the tunnel. May this peaceful day become my reality...
*************************************
I'm posting this before all the "data is in" on today's experience. I'll come back and update if anything extraordinary happens (beyond what's already happened)...

5808

DON'T READ THIS WHILE EATING--NOT A GOOD IDEA!
Note I sent to Rebecca for advice!

I've come off of the 21-day cleansing/detox in an unusual manner... On Monday (day 19), I got up, did exercises, drank a protein mix with taking supplements and ate breakfast. I then drove over to SC for a session w/ JJ. Was a good session where I was needled to help balance the flows. I spent an hour on the table working with the flows.

I stopped at Staff of Life and picked up a chopped cabbage salad and a ginger/brown rice/veggie salad. I drove back and ate a late lunch (1/2 the salads). I actually had three bowel movements that day, which I attributed to using aloe vera juice (3 x each day) and eating smaller portions. I was a happy clam! PS: I had tried to eat some salmon during the backout week, but it didn't digest well--so I stuck with grains, veggies, fruits, etc.

The next day (20th day in series), I got up did exercises, drank a protein drink with fruit and took supplements. Had a bowl of oatmeal with coconut oil, sprinkle of brewer's yeast (I'd been adding a spoon of brewer's yeast to everything to help build up nutrients and protein since I was back to just one protein powder serving each day). I went shopping for food supplies and picked up more veggies, some fruit, some dairy (cottage cheese, kefir) and so forth. I came home and had a lunch of carrot sticks, apple slices, celery sticks, with hummus. Later in the afternoon, I had a snack of some tapioca pudding. But, to my dismay, I discovered that I was severely constipated when I attempted a bowel movement. The foods from Monday had turned to concrete. Dinner became a banana and cottage cheese to give myself some nourishment and hopefully everything would clear. This food broke the 21-day food pattern, but I was upset and was trying to save myself some grief (it didn't work)!

I partially cleared myself (manually) and thought I had done enough that I would continue to clear naturally! Wrong! I spent the night getting up and making trips to the bathroom to deal with cramping and false sensations of clearing being done. It was a long night!

When it was daylight this morning, I poured myself some prune juice, pineapple juice and kefir. I then returned to the manual clearing process and by late morning, I'd cleared most of the hard stuff. For lunch, I had another banana and cottage cheese. By late afternoon, everything finally cleared. I've taken a Smooth Move tea to hopefully clear everything completely. I can finally sit in a chair and not trigger spurious evacuation sensations--I had to lie on the floor with my feet elevated during most of last night and much of today.

What should I do? My thoughts are to stick with soft foods (fruit, cottage cheese, kefir, etc.) for a few days and then carefully reintroduce grains/beans etc. But I'm concerned over even this seemingly nonintrusive pathway... Clearing the banana and cottage cheese from yesterday today was somewhat easier to make happen, but was still not all that easy.

I'm concerned that my digestive system has just shut down--one day it was fine and the next I was totally locked up--for no apparent reason (unless I am sensitive to dairy and just handling it created the problem). New Data Point (real time reporting)--I just had a "call" that sent me running for the bathroom. Looks like banana and cottage cheese from this morning got processed--That's a record in terms of turnaround, but I'll take. Excuse me if I report that the deposit was rather large in size and momentarily plugged up the toilet--that's been happening a lot, which makes it difficult to pass such large ones physically as well as them plugging up the fixture.

I do hope you didn't try and eat while reading this missive... Today's foods were kefir, juice, banana and cottage cheese plus aloe vera and Smooth Move tea--no supplements or protein powder today!

5809

I thought everything on the digestion front was starting to smooth out. Today, I experienced a major blockage that prompted me to accelerate the completion of the 21-day program by a day or so. I introduced dairy back into the food mix along with bananas, tapioca pudding, kefir and goat cheese. I didn't have all of those things today, but picked them up at the store.

I experienced the blockage after eating lunch. I've started keeping a detailed food journal in a data file so I can track and hopefully chase down a solution. This result is very disappointing--I thought that I was getting a handle on the issue with aloe vera juice, and so forth. Surprise! Surprise!

Actually, I just realized that I should record my food details here in the blog... Will begin to do so with today's post. I'd already anticipated that I would be adding dairy products back into the mix and had shopped accordingly. I didn't anticipate making the switch today, but I didn't anticipate a lot of all that's happening.

Here's food journal details for yesterday and today:

6/26--Breakfast: protein powder w/ blueberries and water plus supplements; bowl of organic cereal with dried fruit and nuts, and almond milk. Lunch: cabbage salad and ginger/brown rice salad w/ chopped veggies plus supplements. Snack: plum and tangelo. Dinner: same as lunch with almond butter added to ginger salad plus supplements. Aloe vera juice (2 doses); mangosteen 1 oz.--had several bowel movements during the day--thought things were well.

6/27--major constipation/blockage later in day--Breakfast: protein powder w/ blueberries and mango plus supplements; bowl of oatmeal with nuts, dried fruit, apple, coconut oil and brewer’s yeast. Lunch: carrot sticks, celery, apple, hummus and two dates plus supplements. Snack: dish of tapioca pudding. Dinner: banana and cottage cheese plus date and no supplements. Aloe vera juice (3 doses); mangosteen 1 oz. Triphala before bedtime. Making the switch back to dairy and fruits earlier than planned because of blockage.

I've been adding brewer's yeast to dishes over the past few days. That shouldn't have caused any problems, but who knows. Will continue to add it to dishes to supplement nutritional values and watch for problems. Heading for a softer, less dense mixture of foods, hopefully with higher nutrition.

5810

Good session in SC today. Spent an hour on the table with needles in my hands and legs--regulating the flows. I could feel the balancing happening.

Janice talked a lot about being able to discriminate between PD symptoms versus other things that might come up (getting older and related issues). She encouraged me not to lump all the things (changes, feelings, aches and pains, etc.) under the PD column. Some are natural issues that would be appearing anyway, regardless of the PD symptoms.

I know what she means. I've recently been trying to sort through what I'm experiencing and trying to identify which is what in terms of symptoms. And, when a symptom stops, is that another form of "symptom?"

Unfortunately, the fatigue that I'm experiencing is related to the illness. It's the result of having masked the illness for so many years and the toll it's taken on my system. I used to be able to eat anything (cast iron stomach) despite the work my system had to do to assimilate what I ingested. Now, the system is weak and I'm going to have to "listen" to what it's telling me with regard to what I can eat or not eat.

I used to be able to push the envelope in terms of sleep and fatigue. Now, I have to stop and rest, stop and sleep, just stop everything if I find myself exhausted. No compromises anymore! Have to listen to what my body tells me is needed. She talked about how my rhythms may change or alter to accommodate what's required now.

I'm on the final days of the 21-day program. I'm feeling like there's an increase in my energy levels--not much, but something noticeable. Assuming that I did throw off some toxins during the 21 days, I should feel something, experience something different. I'm looking forward to adding foods back into my diet and seeing what happens with that change.

I'm convinced that I have to avoid animal protein (meat--even fish) so I'll have to turn to dairy as well as veggies and fruits. I've been reading up on goat's milk products. They appear to be easier to digest over cow's products, even though I'm supposedly not allergic to dairy.

I stopped at the Staff of Life grocery in SC. What a store! Really huge, healthy selection of products, a lot of variety, and reasonable prices. Too bad it's so far away. Have to make do with TJ's, MollieStones, Whole Foods, and Country Sun. Life would be simpler with a local Staff of Life!

Cooling trend promised. Will be nice! Next trip to SC? On the 7th of July to work with Rebecca on my nutrition plan. Will be back on dairy, fruit and such by then. Will see how they affect my energy levels.

5811

Read up on goat's milk and related products. Looks like something I should put on my shopping list. Easier to digest than cow's milk with slightly better components except for folic acid.

It's starting to look like I'll need to adjust my diet fairly radically. I don't seem to be doing well with bulky foods or animal proteins (meats). To accommodate, I'll have to shift to more grains (simple ones), fruits, dairy, and veggies. Eggs are looking suspect; as does soy. Also, I seem to do better with smaller portions more times a day--rather than three large meals. Three smaller meals interspersed with snacks are starting to look like the way to go.

Going over to SC tomorrow for a treatment. Energy seems to be up some--cautiously up, I think.

Finishing up on the cleansing/detox 21-day plan. Hopefully, the energy uplift comes from having done the program and eating simply over the past few days. May that be my reality!

5812

Cooler today! Much cooler until late this afternoon. I slept a lot today, especially earlier in the day. Digestion was a bit off. It matched up with eating salmon over the past two days--can't handle animal protein it seems.

So have backed off onto grains, fruits, steamed veggies, etc. Keeping it simple. Read somewhere that keeping calories low can help heal my symptoms--have been doing that by default up until now. Tomorrow I go to just one serving of protein powder a day for four days--then cleansing/detox diet is officially done.

Will add some dairy back in initially since I don't appear to be allergic to it and it helps with the digestion. No heavy cheeses, but yogurts, cottage cheese, milk, etc. May try goat's milk products as well as sheep cheeses. And will eventually add back the tropical fruits (banana, mango, etc.).

My little fan just did a poltergeist maneuver and tossed itself off its perch. Thought it had an emergency cutoff if tipped over--but it didn't seem to stop working. Oh, well! Another mystery of the universe.

Happy Birthday to both of my sons! One's B-day is tomorrow; the other on Wednesday! May they each have a happy one! All of the best to both!

5813

Not as hot today, until the late afternoon. More coming tomorrow.

Been reading up on healing diets and PD. I feel that I need to come to grips with the malaise under which I've found myself for several months. I clearly need an infusion of energy and need to figure out how that's going to happen.

Read some on brewer's yeast. It seems like something I need to add to my dishes. It has the right complex of ingredients that my system seems to require. Also picked up some mangosteen juice for the high levels of antioxidants.

I'll be coming off of the cleansing/protein diets soon and need to be prepared for the transition.

Also need to look into getting more exercise--in some way, shape or form. Has to be an answer to these mysteries. Has to be!

5814

H-O-T, hot today! Hit in the 100's in the afternoon. Too hot to do anything except hunt for a cooling place. Still warm now. It's beginning to cool off some.

Fell asleep last night in my chair. It was too cool to sleep. May be the same tonight.

My next place will not be hot, will not be cold, will not be noisy, and lots of other attributes--none of which apply at present.

Homing in on the Hurkle. Just sent in a new batch of guesses following getting a Green clue.

Made a really cold shake for dinner. It was tasty and it was cooling. Didn't leave me very hungry, but that's OK. That's it for tonight unless it really cools off dramatically. Vaya con Dios!

5815

Saunaville! It is hot, h-o-t, hot! Today was final day of max protein. Start backing down tomorrow. Picked up some salmon. Will start the transition in the morrow.

Heat is awful! Stayed moderate until mid-afternoon, then the sauna settled in. Finally had to back off from eating at dinner. Couldn't face another big meal in this heat. Had lunch at DeeDee's so was well stocked.

Managed to get out for a walk this morning and a short one just a while ago as it cooled down some. Water! Been drinking steadily. Have to in this heat.

So short post tonight. Nothing to talk about but the heat! Boring!

5816

Heat and more heat! Somewhat bearable today, but going to be really warm tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be the final day of the max protein servings. On Thursday, start backing down on the protein powder. Actually, with the heat the cooling shakes have been nice.

Started another Hurkle game. See if I can home in on the hiding creature more quickly this time.

Making some brown rice for dinner (and breakfast, and lunch).

Not much to report. Energy levels seem to be up a bit, but the heat is sucking it out faster than it builds. Looking forward to the cooling evening and a respite from the sun.

Om Mani Padme Hung!

5817

Coming into the home stretch with the max protein days. Two more to go--two more hot days it seems. Weather is heating up for a week of hot days.

I tried to eat a bit more than usual today--especially at DeeDee's. Have to not lose any more weight. Drinking a bit more water as well, given the heat. Have to hydrate!

Found the Hurkle in the email game I've been playing. Have started a 2nd game. In this game, I'm using a more strategic approach, supposedly. We'll see. I just sent in my first three "strategic" guesses.

Aloe vera juice continues to help with digestion (or could be the blueberries I'm drinking in my shakes). No triphala for several days now without problems. Have to take aloe vera juice three times a day versus drinking triphala just in the evenings, but aloe doesn't have the bad taste that triphala has.

Feeling a bit better today over the past few days. Hope it's a trend! Continue to say my current mantra--

Om Mani Padme Hung Savra Shanting Kuruye Soha

This mantra is addressed to the Buddha of Compassion and Wisdom asking that my illness be released. Let it be so! May it become my reality!

Quiet now except for someone's TV broadcasting into the inner court area. Oh, well! I'll just say my mantra. Hmmm! They turned off (turned down) the TV. Shanti! Shanti! Shanti!

5818

Cooler today! Going to heat up again, but got a day of cooler weather.

Midpoint in the 21-day nutrition program. I discovered today that I've lost some weight--probably around another five pounds. Have to start eating more so that I don't get too light. Perhaps explains why I'm feeling weak! Duh! I feeling weak in the brain department.

Will hit DeeDee's tomorrow and not eat as lightly as I've been doing there. The protein drinks before each meal are cutting into my appetite, but will have to ignore that sensation and eat a bit more. Three more days and I can reintroduce some animal protein back into the mix.

Aloe vera seems to be helping with the digestive processes. Have not had triphala for a few nights and I'm maintaining with just the aloe vera drink. I'm taking it three times a day, generally before each meal (before I take the protein drinks).

My Hunt the Hurkle game with my friend in OR is playing out strangely. I'm a candidate for the most Blue clues without getting a warmer color. Finally got a Green. Hopefully, leads to some other warmer hues, and not more Blues! I've made 15 guesses so far (five sets of three guesses each) and got 3 Violets, 1 Green and 11 Blues! Awaiting the results of my sixth set of guesses and the colors they provide.

Having my "regular" Sunday evening problems with my DSL connection. Have to try and save everything and remake the connection. Adios!

5819

Hot today, but not quite as warm as yesterday. Still, a heavy heat hangs all around and slows the movements, sucks the energies before they sprout.

3rd day of mega-protein intake. Tomorrow is the midpoint, the cusp. Feeling weak despite what I'm ingesting. This phase is the detox segment and maybe toxins are being taken. Perhaps that is the reason for the sense of weakness.

Waiting for the coolness of evening once again. Last night, I fell asleep in my chair with the cooling breezes wafting across me. I awoke about midnight and transferred to the bedroom. Could have slept in the chair all night if it had been comfortable.

My tremor keeps resurrecting and making itself noticeable. Been saying a healing mantra asking the Buddha of Compassion to take away my illness, please! I'm feeling frustrated with getting weaker and uncovering all manner of related ailments and dis-ease. Nearly four months here in this place and I feel like I've been sliding backwards. My early progress has been overtaken by my continued slippage. I know that all of this is not unexpected, but I still ache for some relief, some hint of a turnaround. Patience! Patience! Patience!

Into the heat of the night! Into the dream worlds! Into that space between being awake and falling asleep--the universal mind! Happy Father's Day in the morrow!

5820

Sweltering hot today! Place like an oven. 2nd day of max protein intake. Using the blender more to mix the powder with water and some fruit. Drink became breakfast this morning.

So hot today it was difficult to assess energy levels. Went to DeeDee's for lunch. Food is still the best there is for me, or so it seems--filling and nutritious. Seems to assimilate well.

Don't feel as "buzzy" as I felt yesterday--especially yesterday afternoon and evening. More even feeling today--other than the heat. Must have been close to 100 degrees today. Couldn't nap properly today because of the heat. Did manage to nod off for short periods of time.

Picked up some pickled beets and dill pickles to round out my version of "rosolli!" Very tasty! Definitely the right dish for warm weather. Will make a new batch tomorrow. Let's see--pickles, beets, onions, apple, celery, carrots, lemon juice, mixed dried fruits and a dollop of almond butter when it's dished up. Yummy! Had avocado in last night's version, but will leave off in tomorrow's version.

Playing a Hunt the Hurkle email game with my soul brother up in Oregon. He runs several versions of the game for classroom teams via the Internet. A fun, thinking game for kids of all ages.

Cooling down some now. Still muggy and it will remain warm into the evening tonight. It was fairly warm last night and that kept people up late sitting outside and talking. Didn't fall asleep until around midnight with voices still droning in the background.

This place is absolutely the noisiest one in which I ever lived. The cacophony of sounds is akin to what I'm learning that I might expect in the bardos. Even when it's fairly subdued, it's persistent, continuous, and very difficult to meditate around. A few more months and this too shall pass, but until then I'm sitting in the maelstrom.

Tomorrow--another day, another three batches of protein powder and a tumble of supplements. I trust all this effort is doing something of value!

5821

First day of lots of protein! A bit difficult to take what's required and eat anything. But, I managed to do it all. Was a really warm day, which didn't make it easier to drink some aloe vera juice, take my supplements with the protein drink, eat something, use the topical creams, and do it all three times! I suppose I'm fortunate in that I can do all of these things on my own--it could be worse!

So one day down and six to go at this level. Then, reverse the steps and back my way out to the first week in reverse.

Chris from the PDTeam sent me my schedule of treatments out through August--the next five sessions. Hopefully, by then, I'll have gotten my body systems realigned from the nutrition work and be well along with recovery.

I read a teaching in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying that speaks to me about the issues of ending hopes and fears--

Pray to put an end to hope and fear:

If it's better for me to be ill,
I pray for the blessing of illness.
If it's better for me to recover,
I pray for the blessing of recovery.
If it's better for me to die,
I pray for the blessing of death.

The Great Path of Awakening - Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche

This teaching puts the whole thing in perspective, puts the anxieties to rest.

There's also a teaching in the book that explores what can be done when difficulties are encountered. It says to be happy, be responsible and be grateful. Easier said than done, but a formula that makes a lot of sense. The secret is to shift the focus from self to others.

May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. Peace. Peace. Peace.

5822

Started taking aloe vera juice today. The triphala is too hit/miss. Need something more predictable/consistent. Also aloe vera juice has other benefits beyond helping improve the digestive tract. It also contains antioxidants and can help improve my immune response--which is compromised by my stressed adrenals.

Bought enough for a 10-day trial. Only need to take a tablespoon three times a day. It's liquid and easy to take/digest/assimilate. We'll see! Now I can both slosh and rattle from all the supplements I'm taking.

Tomorrow start taking the protein powder before every meal. It reduces my appetite. I only want to eat about half of what I would normally consume. I'm getting enough protein--45 grams a day when I'm taking it before each meal.

Energy levels seem to be happening in up/down loops. Getting bursts of energy followed by absolute need to rest/nap. Not having to nap as much as I've been doing, but still some. Had a "clear" interval today right before and through lunch--a feeling of aliveness and energy--like a "normal" person, one without an illness (may this state of being be my permanent reality!). This sensation was similar to what happened last Friday morning, but not as long a time or as intense as that one.

Been using the topicals. No indications of what they are doing--hopefully contributing to the up cycles as well as doing what they do at the cellular levels.

One week of the 21-day program now done. Two more weeks to go! And then...?? We shall see!

5823

Into Phase 2 of the 21-day program. Almost through this phase already--one more day and then it's into the detox phase for a week. Nearly a week of the 21-day has gone by already--moving quickly! Tomorrow will be 7 days.

During Phase 2, I've gone to two protein servings a day--one in the morning before breakfast and one at night before dinner. In Phase 3, I'll shift to three servings for a week and no animal protein. Whooo-eee! What a ride!

Today's program got a bit jumbled--more like real life. My daughter showed up early this morning in grief over a breakup with a boyfriend. She was quite upset and needed to talk and try to get some sleep. We talked and she rested for a bit. She had to leave to go to school.

I spoke with her on the phone just a while ago and she's feeling better. So young and so caring! She's going to mature into quite a woman. I was glad she stopped by and trusted me enough to share what was happening for her.

I morphed around the rest of my day to cover taking a walk (walk each day is mandatory for me), resting/napping, feeding myself, and researching parasites, etc. I'm ready to go horizontal though. It's been a long day!

5824

(Lifted from a note I sent to L tonight regarding today's session/findings)
Knowing too much and too little, both at the same time...

Met with Rebecca and she had the results of the "spit test"... I'll need a degree in biochemistry to track the test results and begin to understand what they mean... Also, it's a bit like knowing too much about myself and its flora and fauna...

In a nutshell, here's the results --
Cortisol levels (a measure of adrenal stress) measured in the morning, at lunch time, in the afternoon and near midnight appear normal, but...
DHEA results pooled across those times is borderline, which...
when cross-correlated with cortisol (in some way) shows that I'm on the edge of adrenal fatigue (No surprise!)...

My SIgA (Secretory IgA--a substance that helps with immune issues) is depressed--that is below borderline--not good news!

I was negative on gliadin--means I can eat grains--good news unless the result is a false negative (which it could be for some reason)...

Also negative on milk (amazing!)--yogurt, kefir, cheese as soon as I complete the 21-day plan (no dairy)...

Tested positive on soy and eggs--didn't like soy all that much, but eggs I like!

In the parasite department, some good news and some bad news...
No amoeba or tapeworms (yeah!), but tested positive for Toxoplasma and H. pylori. Toxoplasma could be a recent infection (unlikely) or a residual titer (from a previous exposure)--in either case it's not good news... A lot of people would test positive on this one. The issue for me would be having a depressed immune system (adrenal fatigue) and having this parasite in my body... H. pylori is another issue--seems to be the cause of peptic ulcers and such... Treatment is usually with antibiotics for people with specific symptoms... A lot of people who carry the parasite are asymptomatic and just live with the critters... Rebecca gave me an herbal supplement (yet another one) that's supposed to kill it off in 30 days... We'll see! In addition, she gave me two creams that transmit resources into the vascular system directly through the skin to provide immune system and adrenal support.

That's the short version! I think I found out more than I wanted to know about what's going on in my body... my cortisol levels are low--must be time to get to bed...

5825

Hooray for triphala! It kick started my digestive system. Guess I'll be using it regularly unless I can find something better. Nice to know that all of the food I've been eating is being assimilated.

Session with Rebecca tomorrow. Not so much focus needed on tremor and overt PD symptoms. Will see if we can work on the stomach, intestines, digestive tract. Seems to be where my body/system is focusing anyway.

Seemed like a short day today. Not much different than normal, but it seemed to have happened quickly. I awake, I blink, and it's evening.

Reading a lot--that shortens the day. I look down to read, look up and time has passed while I'm in the world of the story.

Early out tonight! I seem to awake around 6:15 each morning, no matter when I go to sleep. Stayed awake for a while last night before falling asleep. Also didn't sleep as much during the day today. Energy patterns shifting and changing perhaps. Impermanence! The heart of reality!

5826

Day #3 of 21! Felt fairly energetic when I awoke (which was early), but faded by the end of morning. Did do a walk before resting/napping most of the rest of the day. Really miss sugar for breakfast--that's the bottom line! But, will stick with the program and not head down that path.

Was relatively cool and quiet here today, which let me rest/nap undisturbed. Last night's dose of triphala came through. Was starting to be concerned that my digestion was working despite the amount of food I was eating. So it's good to know it's working, although slowly.

I'm ready for some breakthroughs, some changes, something else beside eating, sleeping and eliminating. I'm reading, but I'm getting tired of the same-o same-o! Maybe that's a positive sign.

I'm also at the weekend-before-my-next-treatment point. This time always seems to find me being antsy and at loose ends. Good news is symptoms have been really light, almost not present at times. Perhaps related to the fast and the ingestion of clean, healthy foods.

I continue to have a pattern of being up in the mornings, sagged out during the midday, and coming back to life later in the evening with me reading until 10pm or so. I've managed to slip into making meals and doing cleanup without too much disruption or chaos. My concerns over having to make all meals was greatly exaggerated (in my mind). Although going out to eat does get me out a bit more--I'm tending to go hermit now.

Like tonight--I'm punting on doing the Dances of Universal Peace. But, it is quiet here today and now, and I just don't feel like getting cleaned up to go there. That's one of the advantages of eating everything here, I can sit around in shorts and tank tops, and not worry about shaving, etc. Hermit mode!

See that the season's first hurricane may be forming. Seems like we just ended the previous season.

5827

Day #2 of 21! Awoke with a fair amount of energy this morning. Felt that way or better up to lunch and then began to fade back into old patterns. It was a treat while it lasted. I felt clear, energetic, and flowing. May that be my constant reality, I pray!

The morning was like one of the early "moments" that I experienced, but extended over several hours. On that wave of energy, I did my laundry.

Had lunch at DeeDee's. Good food, but I still needed to rest/sleep after eating. I felt like pigging out, but ate moderately. Waiting for my bowels to catch up with my new food intakes. They are slow to come around. Perhaps some triphala is in order tonight.

About to go and fix a light salad with a piece of salmon. Warmed up this afternoon so apartment is a bit like a sauna. A light bite seems right!

Didn't do a walk yet today. Perhaps later, once the day cools down.

Had oatmeal, apple, dried fruit, and coconut oil for breakfast. No morning snack. DeeDee's buffet was for lunch (Indian curries and dishes) over rice with some kind of fried rice/tapioca item and a sweet carrot dessert. A few carrots for afternoon snack. And, as I indicated, salad and salmon for dinner. Evening snack to be determined, if any.

Last night, as I went to open the rice crackers to make a snack, I popped 3-4 crackers out of the package. They hit the floor and exploded, sending rice puffs all over the kitchen. I'm still finding loose kernels here and there.

All in all, a good day and an excellent morning! May there be entire days like this morning as my reality. May it be so for all--a time of clarity, health and aliveness!

5828

Day 1 of 21! Completed the 3-day "lemonade" cleansing fast yesterday. It cleaned me out, literally, but felt good to do. Today was back to real food. Ate (in various quantities and some different order) quinoa flakes, quinoa grain, apple, almond butter, celery, tomato, cucumber, onion, salmon (small piece), steamed veggies, garbanzo beans, olive oil, coconut oil and maybe more. Sounds like a lot, but was small servings/portions. Also restarted supplements and drank a serving of protein powder before breakfast.

Tomorrow's menu will include oats, apple, DeeDee's (I'm going to continue to eat here while on this diet, especially during the middle detox week when there is no animal proteins being eaten), salad, salmon, almond butter, celery, rice cake, veggies, etc.

Didn't walk today. Made it to the chiropractor this afternoon. Managing to drink more water than normal, which is a requisite of the 21-day program. Get 3 glasses at breakfast (lemon juice and water, protein powder and water, water with supplements). Get two more with lunch and dinner supplements. That leaves three more that I have to slip in here and there--one before bed, and eventually two more with protein powder as the program progresses. Love my Brita! Gives me lots of good clean water!

During the 3-day fast, I was drinking 96 ounces of "lemonade" each day plus some water here and there. That was 8 12-ounce glasses a day! So 8 10-ounce glasses should be a snap. Amount of water needed is 1/2 the body weight in ounces (160 lbs requires 80 ounces).

Well, about time for my "snack." Tonight it's a rice cake with some almond butter! Yummy, yummy, for my tummy (which is pretty thin)!

5829

Day #3 of the Master Fast! Good going! Finishing up the lemonade even as I type. Energy level seemed to be up slightly today (over normal). Still not hungry--could eat, but no cravings or such. Feeling better than yesterday (was buzzy), but starting to slow down some this afternoon.

Went shopping at TJ's and the Country Sun. Picked up a pantry-full of foodibles! Got some quinoa (keen-wa) in both grain (nut) and flake forms. The grain takes a bit longer to cook and cooks up like a rice or wheat. The flakes cook up like oatmeal--almost like instant oatmeal. Food of the Incas! Fitting dish for me.

Also picked up myriad other comestibles--veggies, nut butter, fish, fruit (apple), more lemons, and several kinds of beans. Let the feasting begin--tomorrow!

Tomorrow, I begin a 21-day cleansing/detox diet that uses a specially-formulated protein powder as the backbone of the program. I'll work up to consuming 45 grams of protein per day in the middle of the program, before backing back down to only 15 grams. At the midpoint, I'll be eating no animal protein while the detox stage takes place.

Rebecca sent me a list of prep shortcuts and efficiencies to help make the process run smoothly. Her suggestions of making soups and such will be helpful.

The 3-day fast went smoothly. I should probably look at doing one each month to help clear/clean out the system. Not a bad idea! It appears to have been beneficial and it certainly saves on grocery/eating costs. I did it with a dozen lemons and a bottle of Grade B maple syrup--plus 24 glasses of water from my Brita water purifier. Too bad I can't just live on that concoction--would make things simpler.

Well, time to get some rest. Sleep well and awaken to a protein/quinoa morning--and the chiropractor! So be it!

5830

Fasting, day #2. A few minor side effects today--buzzy feelings and wanting it to be over with--not hungry though. Thinking a bit about foods, but mostly what I'm going to have to buy to stock the pantry.

Got up and did Qigong and walk this morning. Not much difference from other days. A bit buzzy as I said and easily distracted. I lost count of the number of glasses of lemonade I had drunk about midday. It all works out since I know how many I made in total.

In fact, just updated the batch for tomorrow and it's ready to go.

Again, didn't seem to need to rest/nap quite as much as normal, but still zoned out a couple of times. So, one more day and then it's back to foodibles and supplements augmented by protein powders--for 21 days. Seems like a long time, but I'm sure it will pass quickly. If for no other reason than all the food prep, cleanup, and planning. Too bad I don't have a SciFi device that creates, cooks and serves meals. That would be wonderful! Alas, probably not in my lifespan.

Starting to cool down some now. Got warm in the afternoon despite some breezes blowing. Started rereading The Law and the Promise. Imagining creates reality! Good to read over some of the thoughts about how to make that work, especially with me seeing myself healthy, restored and joyful. Been too focused on details; need to get back to the big picture!

5831

Day of fasting! First of three days. So far, so good! Made up a batch of juice and syrup last night--96 ounces or 8 12-ounce glasses. Working on the 4th glass and feeling ok with it all. Finding that I want to lie down, but not as sleepy as I usually seem to be.

Was interesting making up the batch last night. I had to squeeze the juice from 4 lemons and my arm strength is fairly weak. I had to work to squeeze that many lemons. Did 50 kneeling pushups this morning, but squeezing lemons requires different muscles it seems.

Got up a bit earlier than normal, did Qigong and went for a walk. Walking is going smoothly. Almost no trace of my right leg "dragging" anymore. Also feel as if I'm walking more erectly. I know I feel myself standing more vertically when I'm not moving. Relaxing on the floor has helped with alignment.

Not having to deal with food today is relaxing. No foods and no supplements--nice to get a break from daily deeds. A bit cooler today, which is helpful. Otherwise, will be on this fasting program for another two days, and then will switch into the 21-day cleansing diet program starting on Thursday.

Meanwhile, drink more concoction and eliminate the excess liquids.

5832

Day before the fasting begins. Tomorrow it's water, lemon juice and maple syrup for the day and beyond. No supplements for those three days. Clean out the system. See where that takes me.

So tomorrow is a "rest" day unless I decide to do laundry.

Fairly quiet and still today. Did catch a few winks and rested some. Having some kind of technical problem with accessing my AOL account. I think the DSL line is wonky. Takes a long time for AOL to connect, and then it's missing Internet browsing features.

Rough life in the High Speed connection lane!

5833

Another hot one! Major lethargy each day until the evening cool down takes place. Awoke several times last night soaking wet from the heat though.

Just got a vmail message from one of the politicos running for office next week. That was a short monologue.

Jumped in the shower with the water turned to a cool setting. Very refreshing! Elected to not head out to dance tonight. Feeling warped by the heat. I'm ok in the morning and later in the day--midday with heat is another issue. Like the early evening. Quiet time to some degree here in the complex and I can meditate and rest.

I keep vacillating between thoughts of me being tired and enervated and my relatively somewhat light symptoms and conditions. I am still mobile, able to drive, fairly able to handle most things. Just had a thought about taking cool showers--if that might not be better for my muscles and movements. Warm to hot water enhances the slower actions--cold water might just "wake me up." Will have to experiment! No cost, low cost!

Back in a bit!
*************************************
Rested and read some. Feeling whole and healthy during the past few hours. Tremor abated with only a slight tightness in my arm. Morning and night times are the best. Midday not so good.

I did a pan through the "looking for volunteer" projects in the area. Feel like I need to be doing something beyond staying holed up and "miserating" (I made up this word). Hopefully, next week's fast and diet plan will shift my energy so that I can start doing more than sleeping, eating and the rest.

Been running a mantra in the spaces that appear for the past few days. Seems to help focus my attention, if nothing else. Looking for the "stillness"--the empty space--the still and empty space.

5834

Hot, muggy day! Soft breeze kept it from being totally miserable.

Minor breakthrough--Managed to juggle through several cycles today. Could feel in my body the smoothness of the motions--how "right" it felt when it all came together.

Balanced out the "noise" levels from last night and today. Some tenants have started jumping rope in the "common area" (a small platform on the 2nd floor right outside my apartment). They're doing it for exercise late in the evening. Some of the kids in the complex have picked up on the action and are doing it when they get home from school. Oh, boy!

Giggles and squeals, laughter and shrieks! Plus adult laughter and conversations when they go at it. Plus the shaking of the building--the platform is tied to the building's superstructure which vibrates like a tuning fork when rhythmically perturbed.

This too shall pass (like the lengthy telephone conversations that were being held on the same platform late at night)! Fortunately, most days there are long stretches of relative quiet times (plus or minus gardeners, fix-it people, etc.). I've actually become adept at falling asleep no matter what the ambient noise levels.

Picked up some of the things I'll need for the "fast" days next week. That part of the routine will be fairly simple--just mix water, lemon juice and maple syrup, and drink it! Will be interesting to see how I feel while on the fast--if my energy levels pick up, which they might do.

Bladder still not being hyperactive--also still not taking the multi-vitamins. I'm convinced that something in that supplement causes my bladder to act up. Whatever it is, it's also in my previous multi-vitamins that I've taken for over a year. Hmmm! Not sure how I can isolate the culprit, but for now have just stopped taking them. Will go off supplements next week anyway for the fast. Still taking the Bio-3G-B, but it's mostly B vitamins and not all the other stuff.

People moving about on this Friday night--going places and doing things. I'm staying home tonight and meditating on getting well! Empty Mind! Enjoy the possibilities!

5835

Shipped off the spit samples today! They should tell the tales on food antibodies, parasites and stress hormone levels. Oh, what fun it is to ride and spit along the way!

One interesting (to me, perhaps, and not to all) side effect from the whole process--I stopped all the supplements starting Tuesday night through this morning. I noticed yesterday that I had much less bladder frequency/urgency than I'd been having. I wondered if one of the supplements might be triggering my bladder. Today, I restarted the supplements except for the multi-vitamin, which has the heavy load of B vitamins, and guess what? Frequency/urgency was down today as well even though I drank liquids all day, including juices, which normally send me to the bathroom almost immediately.

I've been on heavy vitamin B does for over a year and have been having bladder issues the whole time... I've reported this to Rebecca and am awaiting her thoughts... But, it's a fairly dramatic shift seemingly caused by reducing my intake of the multi-vitamin... I also think that there's a link between my bladder urgencies and my levels of tremor (as recorded in my session with Laura on Monday last--an experience of the tremor source being linked to a bladder need)...

Food chain mysteries... Next week's fast should help give more insight since I'll be stopping the supplements while I fast...

Today was OK. I was still tired and had to nap/rest several times, but energetically I felt somewhat better today. Was a warm day and it's finally starting to cool some.

Was struck today by the overall level of noise--trucks, gardeners, fix-it people, traffic, people, animals, machinery, planes, sirens, horns and so much more... a long way from being a quiet place. Perhaps should start planning where I hope to move after this year goes by... someplace quiet, still and devoid of city life. Sounds nice!